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reluctant
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Jana
-

Gender: Female
Location: on stage

reluctant

Ok, I was sort of inspired today and just started writing some lines.
Now, I'm in the mood to share it. happy

And yea, it'S quite specific to me..

So, here it goes:

Hot tears trickling down,
Pave their way through make-up
Leaving traces on my cheeks
Growing colder as they fall.

Coldness in my heart
Swearing to never trust again
A thought that kept me warm
Torn away from my mind

Helpless this mind has become
For pain hurt my heart
A pain not to understand
Not to understand of the human mind

I�m screaming to god
Screaming to Satan
Screaming for help
Forbidding me as I do so

There is no faith in me
No help is worth my pain
No faith is worth my obedience
Only I am

My pride, my pain
My treasures to keep
My tears on my cheeks
Feel the longing for oblivious sleep

Only love creates hate
As natural balance
Hating, loving,
Desperately confusing in my self-centered being

Death sometimes seems such a wishful alternative
But as everything seems so trivial now
Even death has become prideless triviality
To me, as I can only see myself anymore

jana

Jul 24th, 2005 05:52 PM

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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant

Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!

Cool. Very much conveys helplessness...

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Sent from heaven to raise some hell.

Jul 25th, 2005 12:22 AM

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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

quote: (post)
Originally posted by DreamingWarrior
Cool. Very much conveys helplessness...

Sure does

Good job jana smile

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Jul 25th, 2005 05:38 AM

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Jana
-

Gender: Female
Location: on stage

Well, thanks. happy

Jul 25th, 2005 05:29 PM

Dante Vlada
Living My Last Days

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

Jana I just have one thing to say...

tear.

Jul 25th, 2005 08:00 PM

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Jana
-

Gender: Female
Location: on stage

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Oiram62205
Jana I just have one thing to say...

tear.

Was that a criticism, a compliment or a mistake being corrected by you?

While I'm on it.. anyone notices any mistakes I might have made, because, well....English is not my mothertongue. embarrasment

Jul 25th, 2005 08:29 PM

Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Lol well I'm not picky on mistakes, but I think you did really good on the spelling... unless I just wasn't looking lol stick out tongue

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Jul 25th, 2005 08:42 PM

Jana
-

Gender: Female
Location: on stage

Ah, goodgood. Could've also been, that I use words incorrectly or grammar or something, but I guess someone would've noticed by now. Thanks wink

Jul 25th, 2005 08:48 PM

DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant

Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!

You are doin fine, show me more.... heh heh.... (hahahah j/k) more poetry anyway! hahah

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Sent from heaven to raise some hell.

Jul 25th, 2005 11:01 PM

Jana
-

Gender: Female
Location: on stage

Well, this is my only new one. All of my other poetry is so..old. And I'm sure you know what it'S like to go through old stuff. You feel all like 'What the f*ck did I write?'. erm

Anyway, this doesn't really belong here. It'S a picture I took.

Attachment: dsc00097bearbeitetforkmc.jpg
This has been downloaded 177 time(s).

Jul 26th, 2005 02:21 PM

Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

That's a neat picture

__________________

~~My Photography~~

Jul 26th, 2005 08:25 PM

DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant

Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!

interesting....

__________________

Sent from heaven to raise some hell.

Jul 26th, 2005 09:57 PM

Dante Vlada
Living My Last Days

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Jana
Was that a criticism, a compliment or a mistake being corrected by you?

While I'm on it.. anyone notices any mistakes I might have made, because, well....English is not my mothertongue.

it was a compliment silly. I was trying to convey that your work touched me.

Jul 27th, 2005 03:35 PM

Jana
-

Gender: Female
Location: on stage

Thx years later....

what now forget, will be

will be ..forever.. fear not for I have seen beauty of heaven, where every colour is in its place. It'S within every creature, unfold by all that love, one has to give or receive

And just like that
every colour took its place
in my life,
in my mind,
bringing peace to my thoughts,
upon which war has been made,
by the swirl of reality,
letting the colours fade, emphasize, confuse
displacing the order,
where things should be in their place
disturbing the frail peace,
that was brought to enlighten my mind,
addicting my heart

Last edited by Jana on Nov 8th, 2005 at 05:24 PM

Nov 8th, 2005 05:21 PM

DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant

Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!

different. smile

__________________

Sent from heaven to raise some hell.

Nov 9th, 2005 03:36 AM

Jana
-

Gender: Female
Location: on stage

Yea,..quite.

But hey,.. I don't decide what I write. I just listened to the things in my head.... embarrasment

And that moment everything felt like perfection, my mind at peace, expressed by apparently the symbolism of colours....so those words sprung to life from my mind. But I have no idea how or why. Felt good, I can tell you that. happy

Nov 9th, 2005 05:50 PM

DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant

Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Jana
Yea,..quite.

But hey,.. I don't decide what I write. I just listened to the things in my head....

And that moment everything felt like perfection, my mind at peace, expressed by apparently the symbolism of colours....so those words sprung to life from my mind. But I have no idea how or why. Felt good, I can tell you that.

very cool!

__________________

Sent from heaven to raise some hell.

Nov 9th, 2005 10:24 PM

Jana
-

Gender: Female
Location: on stage

*shrug* felt like posting .... something

It�s in my head
All the silence
All the noise
Pictures overwhelming me

I long for light

I lie awake at night
Afraid of eternal darkness
Desiring only your voice
My shivers held in your arms

When all the familiar things
Seem to be strange
And fear creeps up your neck

Immobilised by fear
Nervous looks, nervous eyes
Painting shadows on the wall
Where has been my home

It has become a part of me
My fear is a part of me
You have become a part of me
Your hand in mine

Cold and empty
Facing the next day without energy
No strength for superficiality
My illness spreads inside of me

Unseen by the shallow eye
Unnoticed by perfunctorily conversation
I feel my focus slip like sand
Between my struggling fingers

I dream myself to another place
While I can�t hold my head up
No sense in my gaze
Seeing a different place

My body has forsaken me
My strength has forsaken me
Left is only the desire to be more than that
And only words remain

Without a smile on my face

Hate rising inside of me
Like fiery snakes needing their prey
Pure energy in my head
My body has forsaken me

This illness is taking the best of me