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~She Loves Me Not~ (Danfic)
Started by: RaDiOdOrK

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Fallin' Rayne
Rain Falls

Gender: Male
Location: Outside. Dripping wet from a storm.

This is great! My first time to this forum and I finished your story. It's really vivid. But I can't wait until you post the other chapters. And that thing with Jess? that was weird! smile


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Darkness falls. So does rain.

Old Post Dec 15th, 2005 09:07 PM
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RaDiOdOrK
Member

Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Thanks... I guess. Not sure if I'm posting the last few chaps, which is kinda sad. Run on over to 'Bedsheets' for a brief explanation.

Old Post Dec 18th, 2005 12:07 PM
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Brunette Angel
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: United States

You aren't finishing here either?


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Ron, Harry, Hermione - Anime!

Old Post Dec 18th, 2005 08:32 PM
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RaDiOdOrK
Member

Gender: Female
Location: Australia

*sneaks in*

I suppose there's only 3 chaps left..

38

Shauna!
This is amazing! I think I’ve had about five hours sleep in total since I left. And don’t get me started on Dipti, she is incredible! We walk into her agency, only two hours before the V.I.P event and she announces that I’ll be going in the fashion show that evening. They took all my details and it hasn’t stopped since then. Every single magazine you can imagine was there- It was blinding.

You thought I’d forget about you right? Not a chance. I haven’t made a friend since I got here. All they want is my skin. No one wants to know me after they’ve taken my picture and handed me a cheque. But I’d never regret grasping the opportunity and actually coming here. You hear me? Don’t waste a second!

You still have everything I want.

Write me sometime, I love you!!

Melissa xx


Shauna re-read the letter, misty eyed.

“You still have everything I want.”

‘I don’t even know what I want’ she mused, Daniel’s sultry features gripping her conscious.

She cringed. She couldn’t even remember why she was being a recluse, but dwelling on the topic left deep burns of humiliation inside her. She had sat there stupidly while another girl had smothered her, only stopping because her boyfriend caught them. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t seen it coming. Jess has taken her off guard, stolen her dignity, her confidence, with a simple kiss, and she couldn’t bear to face anyone.

She gritted her teeth, feeling Jess’ rough hands gripping her wrists so hard that her skin burned, her eyes burned. Daniel came and left with a blur but the shame had stayed with her, she remembered that much.

Shauna had begged herself to go visit Daniel every waking moment. The longer she’d left it, the more she felt like she was giving off the wrong signal. She didn’t even know why she was still sitting there. Because when she was with him she was someone. She was a child who ran out into the street, into the rain, and spun around in her favourite pink dress and shoes until she was shivering and felt sick. She was running barefoot down a hill while it stormed and falling into the mud, becoming so dirty the only thing left clean was her immovable smile. When she met Daniel she knew she lived somewhere, instead of just visiting. But still she sat. Silently, and in shame.

~~

Mitch woke at 6 am that morning and looked around blearily, wondering what had woken him. Feeling unsettled, as he did every conscious moment as result of the death-promise on his home, he headed straight for Re-Anne’s bedroom and entered quietly.

It was difficult to see in the early morning darkness. The thick curtains and blinds were drawn, and only one sleeping form rested under the thick duvet; Col long since having retired to the lounge to allow his wife space,

Mitch lay two fingers on her forehead, sweeping back her hair in an affectionate motion, giving a small smile. He liked to think she wasn’t in pain while she was sleeping. And when he slept she wasn’t even sick.

‘I love you mum,’ he whispered, kneeling down next to her. He came and told her every morning and hoped she was listening.

He breathed long and deep, looking down to his idle fingers in thought. ‘I hope I can be strong like you once this is over. I keep telling myself I’m going to fight, then getting scared that I’ll give in.’

Mitch exhaled in a light laugh and skimmed her face as if awaiting a response. He stopped, silent, to hear the soft rhythm of her breaths.

But there was no rhythm that morning.

His lungs failing him, Mitch leaned into his mother and rested his head against her chest. Her tiny form held no heartbeat. A dull ache took the place where his own heart once sounded. Eyes welling-up, and breaking his promise to fight with a single sob, Mitch grasped desperately, longingly at Re-Anne’s fingers and dropped his head to mourn on her vacant body.

His mother’s hands were still warm.

Old Post Feb 1st, 2006 04:13 PM
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Brunette Angel
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: United States

AAHHH! You are my hero! I love you!! GAH! I've been wondering about this thread. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

btw - It's amazing! I think you are one of my favorite writers on this site. You get me really into the story and i love that.


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Ron, Harry, Hermione - Anime!

Old Post Feb 1st, 2006 04:48 PM
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RaDiOdOrK
Member

Gender: Female
Location: Australia

I am lucky to have you... otherwise I wouldn't have come back smile

<3 xx

Old Post Feb 2nd, 2006 01:25 AM
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Brunette Angel
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: United States

Your post is so sad too! It made me tear up... And there are only a few chapters to sum it all up! I'm on the edge of my seat--


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Ron, Harry, Hermione - Anime!

Old Post Feb 2nd, 2006 01:52 AM
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iluvhp1_7
Fourth Year

Gender: Female
Location: Gryffindor Girls Dormitory

Omg i took me forever to read this story and i love it so much and i know i haven't posted here before but i love it so much and ic ould post of my stupid computer.


__________________

Take what you can from
your dreams, make them
as real as anything
-Dave Matthews

Old Post Feb 2nd, 2006 09:24 PM
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RaDiOdOrK
Member

Gender: Female
Location: Australia

lol thanks babe that's perfectly ok.. I'm working on the next chap..

Old Post Feb 3rd, 2006 02:24 AM
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iluvhp1_7
Fourth Year

Gender: Female
Location: Gryffindor Girls Dormitory

Hey i was wondering i just recently started my own peice its harry/ginny hermione/ron. JW if you could check it out. Cant wait till post more


__________________

Take what you can from
your dreams, make them
as real as anything
-Dave Matthews

Old Post Feb 4th, 2006 02:03 AM
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RaDiOdOrK
Member

Gender: Female
Location: Australia

I'll take a look smile

Old Post Feb 4th, 2006 04:06 AM
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RaDiOdOrK
Member

Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Thirty-Nine

The whole world celebrated Re-Anne the next day. Mitch couldn’t remember when the weather had been so perfect, and he took in a shaky breath, wishing she’d lasted just one more day so she could have experienced it.

He hadn’t slept since the day before, making preparations for the service at dusk. The funeral parlour was very quiet, with only the shuffling of caterers making last minute additions and Col chatting in hushed tones with the priest at the front entrance.

He thoughtlessly adjusted his tie and stepped through two heavy wooden doors to face the coffin, sitting flawlessly at the end of a long and menacing row of pews. Mitch pressed his cold hands together, feeling uneasy that these seats would soon hold endless rows of mourning families. All he wanted was to just occupy the room on his own. With his mother. In stony silence.

He approached his mother’s new resting place, head down, and ran his hand smoothly along the mahogany box, stopping to pick up the frame that rested on top.

Re-Anne had picked out the photo and its framing herself. He ran his fingers over the flower arrangement that she had sat at the kitchen table with him and pieced together, and he felt his eyes tear as he glanced around at the elegant decorations that hung in simple formation around the room. He was grateful that she’d helped plan her own life celebration, yet he didn’t feel the least bit like celebrating.

~

Jess’ mother shifted her interest from her cushioned armchair and magazine to her daughter’s ringing cell phone. Jess looked up to her mother with pleading eyes as she noted that Mitch was calling, and Maria nodded.

‘Hello?.. I’m good.. Thanks.’ She kept her tone as glum as possible.

‘How is everything?’

Mitch recounted what happened to Re-Anne with strength in his voice, making Jess’ heart shatter and gently trickle down her cheeks.

‘Goodness Mitch..’ She sniffled, not trying to hold back her tears. ‘I can’t even be there for the service.’ She held her breath, trying to avoid the obvious eye contact with her mother as Mitch replied with outrage and a barrage of questions.

Not able to retell the story and feeling of imprisonment in front of Maria, Jess simply lulled her voice into false pleasantness. ‘I’m.. Sick. My mother and I both thought it would be best if I be treated at Everard Psychiatric Clinic until I’m better.

She nodded and hummed loudly in thought at his concern. ‘Mitch I can’t even begin to say how sorry I am. I know the service will be wonderful and I will be home so fast you won’t even miss me.’ She forced a laugh until she hung up.

A petite woman entered with a professional smile. ‘Your 3 o’clock is all ready to go Jessica.’
Jess eased herself out of the waiting room chair and quietly followed her mother into another doctor’s office for the third time that day, all the while grateful that Mitch had given her a proper reason to cry, and wondering if she could pretend she liked boys long enough to ever be allowed to see her friends again.

~

Daniel didn’t argue as Marcia tugged furiously at his collar and pulled a comb harshly through his hair; sobbing all the while.

‘Mum..’ He sighed mournfully, eyeing her running make-up, ‘Please save it for the funeral.’ Ignoring him entirely, she dabbed at her spilling eyes and held him out by the shoulders, admiring him, sniffling, then shuffling out off his room to dress herself.

Daniel breathed heavily and flopped, stony faced, onto his bed. He was putting a lot of memories at rest today. In its place he hoped to revive the relationship with his best friend, who he knew would need him more than life. He’d quickly discovered what a town with ’no spirit’ was like and concluded that a few months ago, when he prayed for changes, he had just been bored. It had taken a loss from everyone he cared about for him to figure that out.

He’d wondered if Shauna felt she was missing anything.

~

Jai slipped his arm around the back of his mother’s simple black dress that Deidre wore as they entered the building. There were already quite a few people there, mingling in sombre silence. Deidre waved shyly at her twin and scanned the room hesitantly for her father.

‘He didn’t come’ Danika whispered with a small grin, wrapping her arms around Deidre and glancing at her stomach in surprise. ‘He didn’t know Re-Anne, and mum said he’d be best staying home.’

Jai felt a hand come down on his shoulder warmly and he turned to Dan’s grim, colourless expression. ‘Hey man how you feeling?’

Daniel shrugged. ‘Not much.’

Jai nodded slowly, skimming Deidre’s fingers with his own as she spoke cheerily to her sister. ‘I saw Mitch in there with Col’ he gestured towards the almost empty room lined with seating. Dan’s stomach rose in his throat as he forced a smile of thanks and began a steady pace in the direction of his estranged friend.

Turning to see who entered, Mitch’s eyes seemed to ignite somewhat, as he filled the space between him and Daniel with a single stride, bringing his arms firmly around Dan’s shoulders.

Daniel stumbled backward slightly with the weight, and he gripped Mitch’s arms to steady himself. He felt his friend’s torso shudder with a string of instant sobs and fought to hold back his own tears. After a long moment Mitch stepped back, still gripping Daniel’s forearms, his face dripping with remorse and his eyes shining with gratitude.

‘Thankyou.’ He said shakily, ‘For coming.’

‘You could bruise me any number of times and I’d still show up’ Daniel replied sincerely, and Mitch grinned, his focus flickering up to what was once Daniel’s black eye.

Noting the commotion in the room, the families gradually began to shuffle in and take their seats. The friends parted to sit with their own parents and a hush fell as the heavy doors were closed behind them.

Daniel’s focus for the most of the funeral was his shaking hands in his lap. He saw no Shauna or Jen enter through the doors and despite her dreary state, Marcia still managed to nudge him violently at his lack of attention and frequent head turns. Before his mother could drag him back down, Daniel stormed down the aisle and out through one of the weighted doors, only releasing his breath once they shut behind him.

Shauna stood there timidly in a simple, lace-trimmed black dress, gripping a cup of water.

No one spoke for a long moment.

‘I just.. I didn’t want to just walk in..’ She trailed off, dropping her gaze, voice faltering. There was another long moment in which Daniel moved a little closer and let his focus rest on her, slightly bewildered.

She looked up at him regretfully, pathetically. ‘I’m sorry Daniel. I have nothing else to say.’

Daniel stepped up to her, sliding his fingers gently around her hand and bringing it up to meet his lips. ‘Smile for me.’

She looked to him confused, air catching in her throat.

‘When you’re happy, then I’ll know everything is okay.’

She laughed, grinning up to him as he leaned in and kissed her. He leaned away after a moment and Shauna spoke again. ‘I thought you’d be angry’ she whispered, still clutching his hand tightly. ‘I thought I left it too late..’

He only shook his head, kissed her once more and led her towards the closed doors, grateful that he one less thing to mourn for.

Old Post Feb 9th, 2006 05:03 AM
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iluvhp1_7
Fourth Year

Gender: Female
Location: Gryffindor Girls Dormitory

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! It almost made me cry. It was so......[tear] beautiful!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH!!!


__________________

Take what you can from
your dreams, make them
as real as anything
-Dave Matthews

Old Post Feb 10th, 2006 12:53 AM
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RaDiOdOrK
Member

Gender: Female
Location: Australia

After 312 days, 39 chapters, 95 readers on 5 different forums and over 36000 words- I give you:

(please log in to view the image)

And thank-you...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Jessica brought her hand up to one of her tired, weary eyes in the hopes that it would hide some of the deception.

‘Tell me about your friend Daniel, Jessica.’

As drained as she felt, Jess was determined to grasp every question as an opportunity to reach that front door. ‘Daniel,’ she mused, ‘has been a best friend for six years.’

The woman smiled warmly, as was her character, and leaned into Jess with compelling interest. ‘You smiled for a moment. Are you happy to talk about him?’

She nodded with enthusiasm. ‘Of course. Daniel has been a significant part of my life as I grew up.’

‘Why significant?’

Jess ****ed her head, feigning a smile and deliberately shifting her eyes away as if in thought. ‘Well he was my first friend at school, we were both heavily into fitness and sport-‘ She bit her cheeks ‘-Which I grew out of after a while, but we stayed close.’

The councillor smiled. Jess wondered why she was referred to as a councillor when she was so obviously taking notes and studying the young girl’s body language.

‘How close?’

Jess let her fingers twitch a moment in her lap but dared not clench her fists. ‘Very. Daniel was not only a first good friend for me; he was my first kiss. We were a lot younger of course, but I still remember.’

If she’d expected a reaction, approving nod or any sort of facial expression from the professional seated across from her, Jess would have been left low and disappointed.

‘We’d always entertained the idea of a relationship but grade twelve stepped in the way.’

A usual curt nod and glance at the well concealed notebook took place after each answer.

‘So neither of you took part in a serious relationship throughout this year? With each other or anyone else?’

‘I suppose we drifted a little under pressure. Daniel is with someone else, yes.’

Jess was impressed with her unique ability to remain both calm and stubborn in a situation where she would eventually be able to defeat her mother.

‘So who is this girl that your friend is seeing?’

Jess swayed in her chair a little but forcefully kept a strained eye-contact with her interviewer.

‘Her name is Shauna.’

She felt their visual bond snap and break as her gaze dropped to the floor a moment, then returned to the woman’s face half-heartedly.

Not another question was uttered as the woman scrawled an interesting amount of notes, abandoning her subject for the moment.

Jess let her eyes study the back of their lids in almost devastation. She was floating on success from the numerous days of questions that she had once been able to deceive her way through, but had lost her skill at the final, critical moment.

It would be back to the simple-framed hotel room she shared with her simple-minded mother, back to staring into the dark for nights at a time without letting a sob be heard, and back to wallowing in complete rejection by her friends, family and Shauna.

Because she loved her.

~

Jai showered for a little longer that morning. The water was also a little hotter and it woke him up considerably seeing as he hadn’t gone to bed the night before.

He’d added the final touches while Deidre had been at her first and belated ultrasound with Joylene. His mother had approved the final product and then began to gush at how mature he was in making decisions and deciding to become a father.

‘Mum..’ He shoved at her lightly ‘I didn’t exactly decide.’

Joylene stared at him with a solemn expression, fondness still in her eyes. ‘Jai when you opened that front door and stepped back to let that broken mess inside your home, that’s when you became the father. And don’t you ever regret it.’

Deidre was startled to find Jai waiting just inside the front door, reminiscing. Without even looking at her, he pulled her into a hug and she pushed away from him with a shrill laugh. ‘Why so happy?’

He grinned affectionately, running his hand smoothly down the side of her face. ‘The baby’s room is finished.’

Deidre’s mouth opened wide and she instinctively brought her hands over her shapely abdomen. ‘Can I see?’

He nodded, feeling nauseous and leading her down the hall only to stop in front of the child’s room. She reached out excitedly to turn the handle but Jai’s swift hand reached out and stopped her.

‘Wait-’ He brought his fingers up to massage his creased forehead. ‘Just wait a minute Dede.’

She stood clasping her hands together and watching him. Wondering if she should be concerned, she began chewing her bottom lip lightly.

‘She’s adorable’ Jai thought, reaching out to hold a clenched hand.

‘You taught me everything I know Dede.’

She stared at him, unsure, but offering her unwavering smile.

He continued, almost choking on his mix of words and nerves in his throat. ‘You taught me how to be unselfish and with that I learned to love every single part of you.’

She now stood plainly, looking up to him with her forlorn expression.

‘You taught me to care so that I feel I can barely survive if I don’t have you sleeping next to me.’

Her bottom lip, now free of the clench of her teeth, began to shake lightly.

‘And I know when our baby is born you are going to teach me how to be a good father even though you don’t know it yourself.’

He stepped closer and kissed her forehead softly. ‘I wanted to give you something.’

He turned the door handle suddenly and it swung open quietly. Deidre’s eyes drifted around the walls in awe. Tiny pictures and intricate details covered each wall. The furniture was completed and the old, wooden floor boards had been thoroughly polished.

She glanced at the centrepiece, the wall opposite the door and a whimper escaped her.

‘I wanted to give you something meaningful. Something that would last. I wanted to give you the rest of my life, if you’ll accept it..’

Painted in bold, cursive letters across the bedroom wall lay the words [/i]‘Will you marry me?’ [/i]

She turned down to Jai who stared up at her, leg bent nervously and a flushed expression and tears overtook her.

‘Will you marry me Deidre?’

She gave a tiny nod, followed by a strained sob. ‘Of course.’

She hadn’t even seen him rise into a standing position but his arms were already around her as she shook.

‘We can re-paint the wall’ he told her quietly, his stomach settling.

Deidre leaned away, catching his gaze. ‘No. No I want the twins to see it.’ His eyes began to well on instinct and he buried his face into her hair. ‘The twins,’ he cried, ‘We’re having two babies.’

Jai clung to her for a long while because Deidre let him. Because it was the most memorable moment in his life that far and he knew there would never be another like it. Because as he meshed their bodies together he felt like he was real and deliberate and breathing.

Because she loved him.

~

Daniel stilled loved their routine.

Shauna stumbled into the room, flickering to him her tiny expression of adoration. Her clothes were damp from helping Marcia clean up as she let them fall to the floor and pulled one of Dan’s shirts over her head. She slipped her hair out from under the collar and let it fall loosely around her shoulders as she climbed roughly over Daniel to collapse on the bed between him and the wall.

Months back, to a time he would barely recognise in photos; Friday nights were for staying up all night at Jess’ with a seemingly different group of friends. He once lived in a place that never changed. A time where every morning was spent wishing that something different could arrive and offer him a situation he couldn’t quite get his head around.

Peace of mind lay in his arms. Shauna had been worth every moment: The unfamiliarity when he was close to her, the sexual tension, relief, fear- more than ever in his life, love, loss and contentment as she had slowly begun to fill the frayed ends in his life.

There was another tiny thought as Daniel reached over to turn off the light. A reoccurring, flickering reminder as he slid his arm over her warm skin, pressing himself against her. The last few words to make him smile as he drifted off into a hazy bliss, his lips finding the nape of her neck.

‘She loves me..’

Old Post Feb 22nd, 2006 01:30 PM
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iluvhp1_7
Fourth Year

Gender: Female
Location: Gryffindor Girls Dormitory

[COLOR=crimson] OMFG i love it so so so so so so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I luv the part about Deidre and Jai.I think its sweet. TWINS OMG i luv your writing so much!!!


__________________

Take what you can from
your dreams, make them
as real as anything
-Dave Matthews

Old Post Feb 22nd, 2006 09:44 PM
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iluvhp1_7
Fourth Year

Gender: Female
Location: Gryffindor Girls Dormitory

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 I LUV YOUR STORY THAT WAT THE HEARTS ARE FOR!<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3


__________________

Take what you can from
your dreams, make them
as real as anything
-Dave Matthews

Old Post Feb 22nd, 2006 09:51 PM
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RaDiOdOrK
Member

Gender: Female
Location: Australia

lol ok! Thankyou dear smile

Old Post Feb 23rd, 2006 01:37 AM
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iluvhp1_7
Fourth Year

Gender: Female
Location: Gryffindor Girls Dormitory

your are very welcome


__________________

Take what you can from
your dreams, make them
as real as anything
-Dave Matthews

Old Post Feb 24th, 2006 01:10 AM
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Brunette Angel
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: United States

Well, I actually just finished reading it. *Blush*
I know, it was finished a while ago, but I've been doing so much crap for school that I just got to it! So I'm sorry I'm late.
But, I do have some words to say:
I thoroughly enjoyed your story, every word of it. It's genius and the writing style helps bring out the characters, the tone, and everything. You use vivid detail and it helps me get into the story like I am right there watching what is going on. It is an excellent story and I don't think you should ever stop writing.
Now I need to go get caught up on Bedsheets! I haven't read that one for a long time either.
Thank you for your story - I loved it!

~Brunette Angel


__________________


Ron, Harry, Hermione - Anime!

Old Post Aug 16th, 2006 04:44 PM
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Brit531
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere where the fairies rein su

OMG I just read this whole story and it is amazing. I have never read anything like this. You are an excelent writer.

Old Post Aug 18th, 2006 01:40 AM
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