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Biscuit
yummy!
Gender: Female
Location: England |
Ritual Pursuit
Running for her life she fled,
out into the dark night air,
her piercing scream awoke the dead,
on she hurried without a care.
She knew not what she ran from,
nor where her path would lead,
she was driven on by hatred,
or so it would seem.
Scurrying through the undergrowth,
her lower limbs torn,
flickering, hesitant, full of loath,
her inner self was born.
She wanted to escape this fear,
to her sins she must confess,
she needed but a listening ear,
to save her from this darkness.
As Satan lured her onward,
her soul mourned her return,
she stumbled on the white-hot coals,
and she could feel it burn.
__________________
 Dont let anyone tell you that you're wrong. If u believe it it's true.
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Sep 6th, 2005 03:01 PM |
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Syren
dreaming
 Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose |
That's wonderful, Biscuit... but I feel it could be extended. I reached the end wondering what happened to your character... but overall it's really well structured and the vocab is appropriate. Thanks for sharing 
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ThorinWoofer
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Sep 6th, 2005 03:12 PM |
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Biscuit
yummy!
Gender: Female
Location: England |
thanks. its deliberately unconclusive! i wrote wen i was confused and depressed and didnt really know wat i was gna do with my life, im glad it made the right effect!
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Dont let anyone tell you that you're wrong. If u believe it it's true.
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Sep 6th, 2005 05:11 PM |
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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant
 Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go! |
well write some more! 
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Sent from heaven to raise some hell.
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Sep 6th, 2005 08:21 PM |
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Biscuit
yummy!
Gender: Female
Location: England |
Bleeding with Love -
A wilting rose.
A lost love.
Neglected and fallen,
crumpling, dieing;
waiting to be rescued.
Before the last petal falls,
A star is born
The rose is nurtured,
by whispered words of kindness.
Flattering and powerful,
strength, support.
A beautiful breath is shared.
As the flower grows,
delicate buds are formed.
The rhythmic beating heart awakens.
The pulse races.
Deep red petals spill
from the eye of the rose.
Fulfilled. Reformed. Reborn.
Bleeding with love.
__________________
Dont let anyone tell you that you're wrong. If u believe it it's true.
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Sep 8th, 2005 04:32 PM |
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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant
Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go! |
Hmm. I like it.
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Sent from heaven to raise some hell.
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Sep 13th, 2005 10:03 PM |
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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant
Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go! |
And now.... something new? haha...sorry, I am a slavedriver for new poetry, as some folks will tell you. 
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Sent from heaven to raise some hell.
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Sep 13th, 2005 10:03 PM |
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3
 Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada |
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Sep 14th, 2005 04:59 AM |
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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant
Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go! |
__________________
Sent from heaven to raise some hell.
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Sep 14th, 2005 10:45 PM |
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Tassie
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: |
Ignore him^ the dude just likes to make demands upon people 
You write beautifully, though it's simple. 
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Sep 15th, 2005 01:16 AM |
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Biscuit
yummy!
Gender: Female
Location: England |
__________________
Dont let anyone tell you that you're wrong. If u believe it it's true.
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Sep 16th, 2005 05:09 PM |
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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant
Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go! |
hey, I demand because I love to read it! hahaha !!!! vile wenches! 
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Sent from heaven to raise some hell.
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Sep 16th, 2005 08:55 PM |
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KMC Community Forums
back to work, Slave!!! 
Vile wenches are we???!! *gasps* You are soooo dead *glares*
