Dusty
Senior Member
Gender: Male Location: The United States. I <3 U
quote: (post ) Originally posted by lordzeb
okay, i've just started to read it, and you may want to check into this.
tense was a slight problem but has gotten better.
numbers usually from one to twenty, (give or take a few numbers) are typed out, never like
especially when it is like that you should really type out Especially one man.
a little bit more could be done with the detail, but it's looking great. captilization was a bit of a problem, not capitlizing Imperial once, and having capitals after when someone talks. what i mean is Said. it should be said after quotation marks.
another mistake was when someone different talks, a new paragraph is started.
other than that, great job, and i'll continue to read your story.
btw, the mistakes i pointed out are in the first post, so i don't know if it has improved or not.
Meh, It's not an essay. I'm just writing what I'm imagining. Enjoy
Jan 23rd, 2006 12:05 AM
xEsaulx
Bringer of Life
Gender: Male Location: The Land of Quar
i know. just thought i would be helpful. i don't worry about that stuff in my story, and i take no time to check over my work, and here i am telling others about their mistakes.........oh well. going to read more.
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Jan 23rd, 2006 12:06 AM
Hazardous
Senior Member
Gender: Male Location:
Jan 23rd, 2006 01:58 AM
Jaeh
Possibly here.
Gender: Female Location: May or may not be somewhere else.
MOre more more! lol... its very good except for a few typos....
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Jan 23rd, 2006 09:49 AM
Solo
Senior Member
Gender: Male Location:
There's one thing I hate more than life, and you've guessed it, it's fan fiction.
But this seems to be one of the better ones I've read. Hope that was an inspiring piece of feedback.
Jan 24th, 2006 03:11 AM
Dusty
Senior Member
Gender: Male Location: The United States. I <3 U
Thanks?
Jan 24th, 2006 03:43 AM
Barker
Thorin Fan Club President
Gender: Male Location: Barkdonald's Inc. OMFGPlulz: dunt
quote: (post ) Originally posted by DarkWizard
Thanks?
.... Quiters Never Win
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Mar 2nd, 2006 12:38 AM
Dusty
Senior Member
Gender: Male Location: The United States. I <3 U
quote: (post ) Originally posted by Barker
.... Quiters Never Win
I'll get to it.
Mar 2nd, 2006 01:40 AM
Barker
Thorin Fan Club President
Gender: Male Location: Barkdonald's Inc. OMFGPlulz: dunt
quote: (post ) Originally posted by DarkWizard
I'll get to it.
You Damn well Better.
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please respond to my PM Thorin
Mar 2nd, 2006 02:41 AM
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