This is a story by me which isn't as long as a normal story obviously because a real story is many many many pages long and mines isn't so could you please read it and tell me what you think?..:TaH:..
"Shit hole," murmored Ben. This happened to be an expression used all to often by Ben.
The story of his life perhaps? Ben Gregg , he was fed up with life. All his life he had suffered
from a stroke of repetative bad luck, but not bad luck as in deaths or loss of money. Bad luck isn't
that open , he's more subtle than that.
Ben had suffered subtle bad luck since he was born. It was emotional bad luck , he was never
happy for long. Ben Gregg born and bred in Glasgow, which happens to be the stab capital of
the world, he was a scottish lad, but he was not a "bonny wee lad" as scotsmen are usually described.
He had been surrounded and encased through childhood and adolescence with misery.
Ben was neither rich nor poor but in between and it was these in between spaces that misery occurs.
You see when your poor your usually depressed and when your rich your more than likely to be happy, but
no-one really ever thought about the feelings felt when your rich neither poor. The feeling is misery. Although
being miserable isn't that bad if it's felt in one place; being neither rich nor poor, Ben was worse off because he
was in more than one between place. Ben happened to be one of 5 children , he was the third child born. Being
the third child born means there was 2 born before him and 2 after, again he was in a between. Now misery is not
the only consequence of being in a between , as there are many, the consequence of being in a between in a family
is that you are a loner. So now Ben was a miserable loner which is quite bad but it gets worse. Ben was born in a very
powerful between place, he was born in 1950 of course which is the middle of a century. The consequence for this
between happened to be aggression, which is shown quite frequently throughout Ben's life.
Ben was in three between which of course is unknown to himself. These things have nothing strange about them to
Ben's eyes. Ben had lived life in a dreadful way. Being brought up in a family of seven including the two parents was
stressfull and only someone like Ben could have seen it as being as bad as it was. People often ignore situations and really
don't realise how bad they are. He was born in three betweens which is a gift and a curse, Ben could see things more clearly than
most people but this made life more depressing because life isn't all that great.
During his childhood he seemed out of place , as a loner does, but he felt hot headed and over crowded in a home flowing
with energy from four other children and two argumentive parents. Privacy was never an issue with Ben because there was none
to be had. He had his own room but the consequence here is that each and every other room leaf through his so his room was
really nothing much more than a passage way with a bed. Friends were scarce, He had a bad temper and it was well known.
He wasn't given to the world in the usual way, he finished school and got decent grades as he hoped and he was ready to get
out of the hell he lived in. The funny thing being that Ben couldn't escaped the problem because he was the problem.
He ran away , Ben was miserable and also importantly a loner, he felt like his family didn't relate to him and sad as it is, he didn't
care for them. His home wasn't a place for love and care it was just a place for him to live until he could spread his wings and
He set off from Glasgow and moved across Scotland to places like Aberdeen and Dundee but problems followed as they were bound to.
He lost his first job for hitting out at another employee who was an annoyance to say the least. His next job was at a farm only he didn't see a career in farming he just needed money. He killed a flock of sheep, although he wasn't sure how and he didn't ever find out because the farmer fired him and refused to speak to him. So the problems followed, Ben felt he hadn't made a clean enough break so he left Scotland and moved abroad. He moved to America, he wasn't hoping for the American dream , just a clean break though he wasn't ever going to get
it. He got a mining job because his qualifications strangely didn't seem to get him very far in higher industry job attempts. He landed a job
in a mining firm. The conditions weren't best for his health and the pay wasn't very good, his job was best described as miserable, strange?
Ben didn't exactly get on well with his fellow workers and although he was tempted the miserable loner never once lost his temper in the
fourteen years he had worked there , However during his fifthteenth year a joke or two from his fellow co-workers sent him off the rails and he snapped.
Ben went insane and attacked and put two co-workers in hospital. No one except Ben had really known what happened or why he did it for such a pitiful thing as a feeble joke. Ben didn't do it because of the joke although it was partly to blame, when a person is miserable for so many years , in this case
being 35 years, as this was the age of Ben, a simple annoyance could send them off the rails as the joke did. Ben went crazy and attacked the co-workers for the
life he had been dealt , for all the bad things in his life that had happened he used his aggression as a hopeful outlet, although it didn't work. Ben was again fired
and now he had a criminal record because weirdly the co-workers decided to charge him. Ben lived as an unemployed man in America living on benefits from
the government but he was just as miserable as before , Ben had now given up life. He had no friends as before but suicide never crossed his mind because being
miserable doesn't lead to depression, sadness leads to suicide. So he wouldn't kill himself and he had given up on life, he lived this way for 18 years which took
him to the age of 53.
When we first met Ben he was saying that familiar phrase of his "Shit hole" what was he describing or doing? Ben was expressing a between. It hadn't been used
in a while so it had to happen sometime soon. Ben's aggression had popped up and once again he lost it. It started with a murmur and ended with a screaming session
against himself. He ran and ran, he had no clue where to go but he was going somewhere, he eventually stopped at a pier. He sat there in his cheap clothes pondering
what his life was about and why it had turned out so badly. Ben's aggression appeared again although he didn't shout or scream, you may know that some people deal
with anger by crying and this is what Ben had done. He sat on the pier , tears streaming down his face , although he made no noise apart from the occasional whimper.
He wanted to be alone and he was dead set on acheiving atleast that. He got into one of the small motor boats and set out into the sea. He sailed until he couldn't see land
and then he turned off the motor, all he could hear was the sway of water , money didnt matter here and neither did anything else. He broke down in tears again although this
was because he was happy. He slowly sailed about in the sea until he saw land again, he realised that it was just a small island which looked uninhabited.
He eventually sailed into this island and set about it. He found a food source in a variety of berries and although they didnt make very big meals he didn't care. He was there
for a long time and he knew after his berry supply had run out that his boat wouldn't make it back and besides he didn't know which way to sail. He became miserable again and
he had a few more tearful nights as he was very stressed out before he died. Ben gregg, a 53 year old man on a unknown island dead, it's a sad story isn't it? Ben didn't seem
to think so , how do we know?, well Ben's face was expressing an emotion that had nothing to do with his betweens , Ben gregg had the biggest grin on his face than he had ever
had in his life and funnily enough it appeared after he died. Ben gregg was now free of Betweens , the whole experience was over, did Ben regret his life and what he had done?
The answer to that is no because all the bad things, all the misery and all the aggression and anger had made the ending all that sweeter.