KillerMovies - Movies That Matter!

REGISTER HERE TO JOIN IN! - It's easy and it's free!
Home » Movie Franchises » James Bond Series » Things that would never happen in a Bond Movie

Things that would never happen in a Bond Movie
Started by: lordofwar

Forum Jump:
Post New Thread    Post A Reply
  Last Thread   Next Thread
Author
Thread
lordofwar
Senior Member

Gender:
Location: Australia

Things that would never happen in a Bond Movie

Die Another Day: Bond actually reads the manual for the Aston Martin Vanquish.

Goldeneye: Bond - How long did you say the fuse was?
Q grabs it and it blows both him and Bond up.

Diamonds Are Forever: The gangsters throw Plenty out the hotel window and she lands on Bond's car.

Tomorrow Never Dies: Bond walks into his hotel room to find Paris dead.
Bond - Stupid *****! I told you I could get you out of town.

Licence to Kill:
Felix: Wheres my wife?
Dario: Don't worry we gave her a nice honeymoon!
Felix: Awesome. How was she?
Dario: Oh she was the best I've ever done.

Bartender: Martini? Bollinger?
Bond: Just get me a beer.

Last edited by lordofwar on Feb 4th, 2006 at 09:05 AM

Old Post Feb 4th, 2006 08:58 AM
lordofwar is currently offline Click here to Send lordofwar a Private Message Find more posts by lordofwar Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Saphira
Master of all...

Gender: Female
Location: Dreaming about David Tennant...

Nice.
How 'bout this one...

bond at the bar...
"double martini. stirred, not shaken."


__________________
(Thanks to Aurora for the sig!)
Wanna be immortal? Click here

Old Post Mar 6th, 2006 07:47 PM
Saphira is currently offline Click here to Send Saphira a Private Message Find more posts by Saphira Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
NoFate007
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location:

Moneypenny makes some flirtatious comment towards James. James replies by smaking her in the face and walking out.

A sexy woman comes up to Bond. His voice cracks and he slouches. She asks what's wrong and he says "I'm gonna need a tissue."

Bond tosses his Walther aside, picks up a minigun and goes "Trust me."

Diamonds are Forever: "Would you settle for a tulip?" "No." "......."

The gunbarrel opening changes to "Let me tell you what 'Like A Virgin's about..."

Someone asks Bond what his name is. He replies - "I'M BATMAN!"

Bond shoots M in the face.

Bond dies.

Old Post Mar 11th, 2006 02:56 AM
NoFate007 is currently offline Click here to Send NoFate007 a Private Message Find more posts by NoFate007 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
lordofwar
Senior Member

Gender:
Location: Australia

Dr. No: Bond notices the tarantula crawling up his arm and starts screaming like a girl.

Goldeneye: Trevalyn: For England James?
Bond: No...for you. (gives him a big kiss before dropping him)

Natalya: Where's Trevalyn?
Bond: I let him go.

TWINE
Bond swims away and leaves Christmas Jones in the sub to die.

Old Post Mar 17th, 2006 07:58 AM
lordofwar is currently offline Click here to Send lordofwar a Private Message Find more posts by lordofwar Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Myth
Give me your babies!!!

Gender: Male
Location: Oregon

"What's your name?"
Bond: "The names James... James Bond."

His gadget doesn't work the way he expects it to.


__________________

Greg Oden: The future of the Blazers. The future of the NBA.

Old Post Mar 17th, 2006 10:46 AM
Myth is currently offline Click here to Send Myth a Private Message Find more posts by Myth Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Eis
androgynous mind

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Lost in a Roman Wilderness of Pain

Things that would never happen in Bond... Hmm... Bond not hooking up?

Or Bond going to dinner with Moneypenny. Or, Bond becoming a double agent, working for England but loyal to North Korea.


__________________
"Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity." Thor Heyerdahl

Old Post Mar 21st, 2006 09:08 AM
Eis is currently offline Click here to Send Eis a Private Message Find more posts by Eis Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Maddi
Rush Fan

Gender: Female
Location: A Rush Concert o' course

Probably my big number one of this subject is Bond dying. He never dies. Duh. stick out tongue The other thing was him just asking for a beer like lordofwar said. Also that he would yell I'M BATMAN. I think this thread is hilarious on what you guys make up. they're all true too. big grin


__________________


SNAKES AND ARROWS COMING OUT MAY 1ST 2007!! TOURING IN JUNE!!

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2006 07:32 PM
Maddi is currently offline Click here to Send Maddi a Private Message Find more posts by Maddi Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
jenzie
you know my name .....

Gender: Male
Location: tumbling in my db5

"not tonight love, i've got a headache!" reading


__________________
Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?

Old Post Mar 24th, 2006 01:02 AM
jenzie is currently offline Click here to Send jenzie a Private Message Find more posts by jenzie Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
The Redeemer
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: The Republic Of Ireland.

Caroline Munroe could never be the leading lady.


__________________
#I've kicked the habit...
shed my skin...
this is the new stuff...#

Peter Gabriel - SLEDGEHAMMER.

Old Post Apr 9th, 2006 01:54 AM
The Redeemer is currently offline Click here to Send The Redeemer a Private Message Find more posts by The Redeemer Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
lordofwar
Senior Member

Gender:
Location: Australia

Bond's crotch is cut off with the gold lazer in Goldfinger.

Old Post Jul 2nd, 2006 04:13 AM
lordofwar is currently offline Click here to Send lordofwar a Private Message Find more posts by lordofwar Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
vader sith
darth sparrow

Gender: Male
Location: United kingdom

tommorrow never dies: bond uses the remote for his car and police chase him he stops and the police run off they think its a ghost car


__________________
iv watched potc awe just sitting here bored now waiting for the dvd to come out Click here to visit my sigs ... bored dont click here <<< see if you can get to th end

Old Post Jul 2nd, 2006 07:56 PM
vader sith is currently offline Click here to Send vader sith a Private Message Find more posts by vader sith Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
lordofwar
Senior Member

Gender:
Location: Australia

You Only Live Twice:

Blofeld realizes one of the astronauts boarding the spaceship is a fake, and has the man brought to his control room. It's Bond.

"Just shoot him!"
"No, I want him to watch my evil plan and all that, rub it in his face."
"Fine, whatever."
"Oh, great, he just shot one of my henchmen with a cigarette and opened up my volcanic lair. Now hundreds of ninjas are streaming in and killing everybody."
"Well just shoot him!"
"Nah, it's no big deal, when's the last time an army of ninjas won anything? This is the twentieth century."
"Eh, maybe you're right."
"Oh crap, my control room's falling apart because of those lousy ninjas. I better evacuate."
"What about Bond?"
"Who?"
"The guy who unleashed that army of ninjas? The guy who makes a living foiling your plans?"
"Oh, him. What about him?"
"Are you going to shoot him?"
"Mmm... no. Come on, Mr. Bond, come take a walk with me and my two henchmen."
"Oh maaaaan. What's your problem?"
"No problem, I'm just taking Bond down this corridor with me. Hey Hans, hand me that gun. And here, is the price of failure, Mr. Bond..."
"Finally, you're going to shoot Bond! Took you long enough!"
"Ha ha! Fooled you! I just shot Osato! Boy you should see the look on your face! Now come on, Mr. Bond, follow me."
"What the hell is wrong with you? Why didn't you just shoot Bond too?"
"Oh get off my back. I just wanted to walk down this one last corridor with Bond. I like walking with him. It's fun. There. We're at my little railcar. And now, since there's no more ninjas to watch, no more corridors to walk down, NOW I think I'll shoot Mr. Bond."
"Well too bad, bonehead, because that Japanese buddy of his just sunk a shuriken in your arm."
"Ow! Guess I should have taken one of those eight hundred opportunities I had earlier and shot Bond then. But I really really really wanted to have him watch my evil plans and walk down all those corridors with me. At least I learned my lesson! You can rest assured that if I ever have Bond at my mercy again, I'll just shoot him on sight!"
"Guess what, moron: you're going to do the exact same crap for two more movies. And then he's going to kill you."
"Boy I suck."

Old Post Sep 18th, 2006 01:45 AM
lordofwar is currently offline Click here to Send lordofwar a Private Message Find more posts by lordofwar Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
kamikz
A.I.M Mercenary

Gender: Male
Location: Hearth of Meduna.

Bond does not use all of the new items he recived from Q/R....


__________________

Necessity is the mother of inventions.
(Don't be a pig, get an Icejaw sig.)

Old Post Sep 18th, 2006 01:56 PM
kamikz is currently offline Click here to Send kamikz a Private Message Find more posts by kamikz Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
vanice
traceur

Gender: Male
Location: karlstad,sweden

bond becomes gay for Q eek!


rolling on floor laughing


__________________

Old Post Sep 18th, 2006 02:06 PM
vanice is currently offline Click here to Send vanice a Private Message Find more posts by vanice Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
barand1
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

quote: (post)
Originally posted by NoFate007
Moneypenny makes some flirtatious comment towards James. James replies by smaking her in the face and walking out.

A sexy woman comes up to Bond. His voice cracks and he slouches. She asks what's wrong and he says "I'm gonna need a tissue."

Bond tosses his Walther aside, picks up a minigun and goes "Trust me."

Diamonds are Forever: "Would you settle for a tulip?" "No." "......."

The gunbarrel opening changes to "Let me tell you what 'Like A Virgin's about..."

Someone asks Bond what his name is. He replies - "I'M BATMAN!"

Bond shoots M in the face.

Bond dies.



LOL!


__________________
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/trailermaker/view/7frbbc

Old Post Nov 28th, 2006 02:16 PM
barand1 is currently offline Click here to Send barand1 a Private Message Find more posts by barand1 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
All times are UTC. The time now is 06:04 AM.
  Last Thread   Next Thread

Home » Movie Franchises » James Bond Series » Things that would never happen in a Bond Movie

Email this Page
Subscribe to this Thread
   Post New Thread  Post A Reply

Forum Jump:
Search by user:
 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON

Text-only version
 

< - KillerMovies.com - Forum Archive - Forum Rules >


© Copyright 2000-2006, KillerMovies.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by: vBulletin, copyright ©2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.