quote: (post)

Originally posted by Beyond Image
I want 2 B

There I sat reading books by Stephen King,
Robert Bloch, J.K. Rowling, and I got 2 thinking.
How did these people fall N love with words?
Somehow through time they became gifted lords.
As 4 me, I realize . . .

. .There R things’ N this world that Nspire,
If U can picture my heart’s Dsire
Is 2 control my destiny on an ambitious wire;
4 my love of words has 2 transpire.
2 B able 2 bend reality 2 my liking;
Creating thoughts through analyzing,
2 succeed by sending my ideas 2 U by telekinesis.
Even if U say with contempt, “ who wrote this?”
So before U close my book, realize this:
Hidden N these words there is a thesis.
As I do my best with the given ability.
N time, my goal is 2 Mprove my love story.
My journey through fiction and reality.
Words will come so I should not worry.
I C as I realize. . .
N my world I can make words that Nspire,
Bcause I can choose my life of Dsire,
Where each letter is connected by my delicate wire.
It’s not complicated 4 my dream 2 transpire.

Nside this poem I C words I like, I hope U do 2.
That all I want 2 B is a writer born like U.

KEEP WEEPING 4 me 2 KEEP WRITING

quote: (post)

Originally posted by KENobi™
1. Learn to spell...Using numbers instead of words is idiotic, such as: to, too, for, etc. Fix that and it'll greatly improve.

2. Your structure is flawed. You keep switching stanza styles which dramatically hurts the poem.

3. In the first stanza you have these lines:

"How did these people fall N love with words?
Somehow through time they became gifted lords."

The pronunciation of "words" and "lords" are completely different. Just because they share the same letters at the end does not mean they rhyme.

I'm sorry, but it's not good. Keep working at it.