Gender: Female Location: in a room.. a dark padded room.....
The End
The white light is close at hand
But never for me
To the darkness I am banned
Eternal damnation
Never to see the gates of happiness
Only th pit of despair
Looking back in the mirror of deceit
At myself
The blade no longer at my wrist
It runs along my throat
One swift move
Could end it all
My end
Bitter, but sweet
Just like blood
A tempting thirst
Should I move the blade?
Or wait a few more days?
Tell my loved ones?
Do I want them to mourn?
No don't tell them
Make the move
End it now
Collapse in the pool of blood
And face eternal damnation head on
__________________ they're all dead, they just don't know it yet
Gender: Female Location: in a room.. a dark padded room.....
Freak Remource
Start the freak show
I'm up first
Draining the blood
Of those I loved
Swollowing their lifeThe metallic fluid
Bitter, yet sweet
Quenches the undying thirst
The thirst hidded inside
That i have onlt found this year
Making me lose control
Primative side breaking through
Killer instinct taking over
Killing them all?
No, just draining some blood
Whether willing or not
I will feed
'Til I can feast no more
Am I to naw the flesh from the bone?
No, just pierce the skin
And drink the sweet, sweet liquid
To purify my soul
And kill the pain inside
The ripping sensation deep in the bowels of my soul
Trying to cure myself
But felling remourse
For I have killed all those I love
The only love of my life died
By my own hand
I'll shut myself up
Never to see the sun again
__________________ they're all dead, they just don't know it yet
Gender: Female Location: in a room.. a dark padded room.....
Freak Remorse
Start the freak show
I'm up first
Draining the blood
Of those I loved
Swallowing their life
The metallic fluid
Bitter, yet sweet
Quenches the undying thirst
The thirst hidden inside
That I have only found this year
Making me lose control
Primitive side breaking through
Killer instinct taking over
Killing them all?
No, just draining some blood
Whether willing or not
I will feed
'Till I can feast no more
Am I to naw the flesh from the bone?
No, just pierce the skin
And drink the sweet, sweet liquid
To purify my soul
And kill the pain inside
The ripping sensation deep in the bowels of my soul
Trying to cure myself
But felling remorse
For I have killed all those I love
The only love of my life died
By my own hand
I'll shut myself up
Never to see the sun again
__________________ they're all dead, they just don't know it yet
Yeah not too many people said that about mine before either lol. But I wasn't too worried, considering I did and still do a lot of the time write poetry for my own benefit, not to be admired or put in the spotlight. I'm just letting my buried emotions out, and it seems you're doing the same, so keep it up
Gender: Female Location: every which way but loose
Exactly, share your work because you want others to be involved, not because you're looking for compliments or 'fans'. Constructive criticism is always helpful.
Gender: Female Location: in a room.. a dark padded room.....
Lost in the tears of sorrow
faded from the light
tears of blood flow from my veins
too far off the edge
lost in the seas of regret
wishing to turn back time
and try to make things right
but its too late for me
my time is up
don't cry for me
i don't need tears
especially yours
to mourn for me
is a lost cause
say good-bye now
and never again
do not bring up my name
lay it to rest
in the grave of denial
never to rise again
(this one i wrote off the top of my head, so i dopn't really have a title for it)
__________________ they're all dead, they just don't know it yet
From a technical and artistic point of view, I think your poetry needs some structure and rhythm - a poem is not just a train of thought, unstructured. I am a published poet and I have quite a bit of experience.
From an imaginative point of view, I think maybe you have too much imagination, or perhaps you write from experience!? Hope not!
I can see that you are really struggeling with yourself, but it's all in your head - a world you yourself create. I was a bit crazy in my head before, but I've taken control and healed myself.
It's good to write though, in order to purge your feelings.
Do you have an obsession with death and killing? I won't judge you, not even if you're 'evil', because if I judged you, I would come back in my next life to suffer even more.
KMC Community Forums
Apr 11th, 2006 04:32 PM
