This loathesome depression catches me by the nape of my soul. As I sit here at this computer desk, as I always do, I wonder what good this world has to offer. You're not here to hold me. You're not on the receiving end of the phone line due to various reasons and problems. You're not sitting in the passenger side of my car because I haven't one. I haven't any money. I haven't any job. You deal greatly with your emotions on loving me and I severely wish that, even if I had to become male, I didn't have to feel this way. Your feelings for me I cannot judge if they are stronger for me than I am for you. I will not say that mine are stronger for I do not know. I am not in your body or your soul. I take pride in Loving you as much as this, but I do not take pride in being away from you causing me depression. I've heard various times that I need something to distract me; a hobby perhaps. But overwhelming feelings are not subsided by a mere hobby. That's not the way it works. I feel as if I were a baby who lost his teddy bear. Ever since we've met I've increasingly grown more and more attached, as you know. I've dealt with this depression once before...or many times I shall say, but I do not wish of it any more. I've been told to do something about it; but what? I cannot do anything. The next time we will meet, I do not know. The next time we shall talk over the phone, I do not know. My utmost wish is to be with you. Will it ever happen? Whether it will or will not, I cannot stop these feelings. You and only you know how badly I feel as I am away from you; however you, since you are not me, cannot grasp these devilish emotions within me.
Gender: Female Location: every which way but loose
Obsession's a dangerous game honey. It can eat away at any potential for long lasting, true love. Try to balance it because any man would be within their rights to step back from a passion such as this. It's better to adore, cherish and appreciate someone than it is to need them desperately and rely fully on them.
All is well, thanks.
I'm better now, I was just having some just ending school blues. I'm still kind of blue because he doesn't have a phone but I try my best to think positively about my love.
KMC Community Forums
Jun 4th, 2006 09:49 PM
