KMC Forums - So cold, so lonely

sorry about the huge wait - and its not even a spectacular chapter - sweet but not great

Temptation

Sirius looked about him, the forest, his home for the past few months, he knew it well. Something was happening, stirring; tonight was the night as he felt it. Sooner or later. And where was that cat, Krookshanks, his only friend for the year, he needed to know what was happening, and he needed food. How would he have coped without the cat he didn�t know, friend now though and most useful.

There � Harry Potter, his godson running out and across the lawn in front of the castle, now or never, strike the ginger boy and off � Harry had to follow, he wouldn�t leave a friend in danger. Off into the shrieking shack, only then it crossed his mind, maybe this was wrong, ah well, nothing for it now, he had to talk.

How did this happen? The most wonderful reunion and at the same time it hurt � so many years without human contact, it was almost too much. Harry, he had tried to fight, he had tried to turn him down and kill him. But that wasn�t why he was buzzing � Remus, Moony, he had been there. Standing in the doorframe, my saviour, saved me from the boy before he maimed me, without talking to me he understood. He held me; his touch was electric, so long and so cool � like he had forgotten me. He was still the same taking all the time in the world to explain a simple event where Sirius would just have acted � the boy, Harry, he believed � that was a blessing too but to be honest Sirius didn�t care too much for him, his mind focused on Remus for the whole time, wanting to talk to him alone � needing him now.

He remembered the letter he had read � and carefully replaced � it said there that he cared for me and that he thought me guilty. Sirius so wanted to asking about its content � it had worried him all year, who was he now? A druggie, a drunk a sophisticated writer and teacher? All the glimpses of him had been of a handsome maturity but no odd behaviour. There wasn�t time, how much had been wasted when they were young � and he didn�t have the time to do more than apologise and cry. As Sirius chased him in dog-form through the woods, he was taken back to their childhood, Sirius touched him calmingly, stroking his faced, wrestling him to the floor � the wolf fought back hard, untamed for years, he didn�t want it and Sirius cried inside.

And then he was caught � there was the almost kiss � he nearly died, he remembered thinking to himself as I tried to fight it off �he doesn�t hate me, he doesn�t hate me� it wasn�t a strong enough conviction. But somehow the boy, Harry managed to save them � he is remarkable, so Sirius can sit and contemplate upon the pain that he faces in living so unsure.

___________________________________________

Padfoot,
Sorry, I hope I can make it up to you some day. I want to talk to you sometime, but I promise as I did last night I BELIEVE YOU. Please accept my apology.

Moony

Moony,
My friend, no problem, of course I believe you and accept the apology. It is me who should apologise � I am sorry for the years of uncertainty and worry I hope you did not feel but know you did because of your wonderful caring nature. I would love to talk with you at some point, I must say, however, that I am still a convict and that sitting in a coffee shop is a little difficult for me at times. By the way, you looked like you�ve been keeping well.

Padfoot

Padfoot,
Thank you for being sweet � as funny as always, the little comedian. Feel free to come by my house at any time � I haven�t moved, too much trouble. You don�t have to apologise to me, my problems from the last 12 years were not down to you � it�s just my nature to take things badly. I feel so sorry for you having spent so long alone, you looked surprisingly real and normal when we met, not like those demonic photos of you in the news, well sort of like them � but better, honestly. Have you been reading the news? You are such a wonderful celebrity!

Moony

Moony,
Yes, I love to read my life story printed inside the papers, they don�t exaggerate or make anything up. I really am an evil murderer and bastard from the worst family in existence

P

Moony,
So sorry for writing what I just wrote I don�t mean it, honestly, ignore my spite. I will just curl up here and cry for a while. I would love to come to your house some day � not just yet though � I�m still too far north enjoying a mountainous summer, not to give away my location. Problems? Am I supposed to worry about your health beyond the furry problem? Please don�t be ill, I�m going to have to come down and visit you sooner than I thought of before. I just thought I would tell you � I am writing to Harry, telling him I will look after him from a distance as his rightful guardian. I am so mature and grown up aren�t I.

Padfoot xx

Padfoot,
You really are a changed man! But I still love you. Problems � just some drugs here and clinical depression there, please don�t worry. I�m fine at the moment, flying through life, minus the fact that I have just become unemployed again, that�s due to the furry problem. Harry needs a friend so that is wonderful that you�ll be there for him � you were always a great friend, and more.
I can�t wait for your visit, I have cake especially for you when you come, or will have.

Moony xx