Gender: Unspecified Location: It was my destiny to be in the box!
Indeed Pirates are.
I LOVE the mustard/bedsheets one!
Tucker: Why do you keep firing at the jeep?
Caboose: Because it's locked on!
Tucker: Well, unlock it!
Caboose: The last time I unlocked it, I killed Church!
Tucker: Oh, right... keep shooting at the jeep, then.
And:
Grif: There's something on your head.
Donut: What, is it a spider? Get it off!
Simmons: No, it's not a spider. It's like a blue thing...
Donut: What, like a blue spider? Get it off!!
Grif: Hey, you know what else might be in the cave, Simmons? Snakes.
Simmons: You're an a**hole, Grif. Why would you bring up snakes?
Grif: Well, I'm just saying I know you don't like snakes, and snakes do live in caves, and we are in a cave, and snakes like to crawl right up next to people in caves, and then they -
Simmons: All right, screw it. I'm gonna go stand by the light.
Doc: I talked to Sheila, and you guys were right. She definitely seems a little odd.
Church: Yup. So what do you think?
Doc: I... think she seems like there's something wrong.
Church: That's your diagnosis? That's why we sent you down there, man! Because we knew something was wrong!
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Simmons: [firing his rifle] Oh, that's right! Suck it, Blue. Grif: [pops up in front of Simmons] Yeah. Sneak attack! Simmons: Sit down, you dumba**. I can't see!
Church: I think I came up with a plan for how we can use Lopez and our new prisoner to get an upper hand on the Reds... [Tucker is silent] Church: ... The plan does not involve mayonnaise. Tucker: Dammit! I knew there would be a catch!
Grif: [the Red and Blue teams call a truce] So now we're forced to work together? How ironic. Simmons: No, that's not ironic! Ironic would be if we had to work together to hurt each other! Donut: No, ironic would be, if instead of that guy kidnapping Lopez, Lopez kidnapped him. Sarge: I think it would be ironic if our guns didn't shoot bullets, but instead squirted a healing salve that cured all wounds. Caboose: I think it would be ironic if everyone was made of iron.
Gender: Unspecified Location: It was my destiny to be in the box!
LOL I love the 'ironic' one!
And yes, pirates are awesome.... And they wear red bandanas.... *gasp* Maybe they support Red Team! By the way, which team are ya' for?
Caboose: Why didn't you ask Tex or Church?... Is it because I'm the best?
Tucker: No, it's because Church is an ******* and Tex doesn't trust me right now.
Caboose: Really? Why not?
Tucker: Ehh, because I got to use the sniper rifle and I ended up unloading a round into her a**.
Caboose: Hey chicka bump bump!
Tucker: Caboose! What did I tell you about that?
Caboose: Sorry. Sorry.
Simmons: It looks like the Blues are having some kind of meeting.
Sarge: What? I knew it. They're coming to attack our base. Dirty back stabbers!
Donut: I thought the Blues were supposed to attack our base.
Sarge: Dirty front stabbers!
Sarge: Simmons! What are they saying?
Simmons: I have no idea. I can't find the volume on this monitor. Without any sound, it just looks like a bunch of helmets bobbing up and down.
Sarge: Is that how they talk? They look ridiculous.
Church: Okay, guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a missing girlfriend, a guy who's pregnant, an idiot who thinks his pet just died, AND our worst enemy is hanging out unsupervised at our base right now. So I really, really, REALLY don't have time for this horse-s**t right now!
[An akward silence ensues.]
Grif: ...Uh, what was that part about the pregnant guy?
i cant choose which side im for, too many good dudes in each side
Grif: They've got a guy fixing their tank.
Sarge: Impossible! Our intelligence clearly states...
Donut: [interrupting] We have intelligence?
hehehe
O'Malley: It's quiet. *Too* quiet.
O'Malley: [after he is nearly shot by sniper fire] Now it's suddenly too loud. I liked it better when it was quiet.
[Church has just described to a new guy on the blue team how everyone hates Simmons. The new guy runs off crying]
Sheila: [after a pause] You know that's Simmons, right?
Church: [laughing] Ohh yeah.
Gender: Unspecified Location: It was my destiny to be in the box!
I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE INTELLIGENCE ONE!!! That's gotta be one of my favorites! Alright then, who are your favorites from each side?
Simmons: How long do you think until he figures out there's no store?
Grif: I'd say... at least a week.
[Church convinces Tucker to go through the teleporter at gunpoint]
Tucker: Alright. One... two...
[Tucker runs through the teleporter]
Church: ...
Caboose: Huh. He didn't come out the other side.
Church: Yeah. I've, uh... I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.
Caboose: [screaming] SHEEEEIIIIIILLLLLLLAAAAAAA!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Tucker: What? No! Sheila! Sheila! Wait, who's Sheila?
Caboose: [devastated] She was the lady in the tank. She was my friend.
Tucker: Oh, dude! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank!
Red: Grif and Donut....but I love sarges comments:P
Blue: tucker and caboose, but yet again, I love what church says
Sarge: Get over here and gimme a boost.
Caboose: Okay... you are a good person and people say nice things about you.
Sarge: Not a morale boost, moron, a physical boost. I need to see what's in that window.
Caboose: That window is very high. I don't think you are tall enough.
Sarge: I know... I need you to help me look through it.
Caboose: I don't think I am tall enough either. Also, my head is round. That window is square.
Tex: [the Reds and Blues have just rendezvoused with Tex at Zansibar] What took you guys so long to get here?
Simmons: There's six of us, and this is only a three-seater jeep. Half of us had to sit on someone else's lap.
Donut: [enthusiastically] It was a great road trip! My favorite part was when Grif tried to change gears, and he accidentally...
Grif: [disgusted sigh] Ugh, *please*, let's not tell this story. Is there somewhere I can wash my hands?
Sarge: What'd you find, Tex?
Tex: Well, O'Malley's holed up in his fortress. He's been fortifying his defenses for a few days, now. And he's got some help. One of those religious nuts you guys picked up.
Caboose: [excited] Oh, I liked them. They were funny.
Tucker: Caboose, they tried to kill you because of a *flag*.
Caboose: I try not to remember the bad things about people.
Tucker: That's *all* they tried to do! There *were* no good things!
Caboose: That's okay. I have a really bad memory - wow, look, a beach!
Sarge: Shut up, Caboose.
Gender: Unspecified Location: It was my destiny to be in the box!
ROFL Zansibar
Yeah, I used to be all Blue, but I slowly started liking everyone. Now I can't really choose!!!
TUNA=WEIRD
PIRATES=TUNA
Tucker: Okay, little dude, I gotta go now. Tex needs me and Church to back her up.
Junior: Bow Chicka honk honk.
Doc: Huh. I guess you have been teaching him some stuff.
Tucker: Teach? You don't teach that. That s***'s genetic.
AND
Sarge: Whoa, looks like the blue one just got killed by their own tank.
Simmons: A blue got killed by their own tank. Man, I just had the weirdest sense of deja vu.
Grif: Hey, speaking of getting tanked, we should check if the blues have any beer around here!
Sarge: Hiyoh!
O'Malley: Ha ha ha ha ha, yes! This place will do nicely for an evil lair! It's diabolically designed.
Frank DuFresne: As a student of Feng Shui, I can tell you this house is eighty-eight percent good luck. Also, very breezy. I like the floor plan.
O'Malley: Quiet, you fool.
Lopez: I just want my own room. I hate sharing with the vacuum.
O'Malley: Hello? Is anyone home? Don't be alarmed. We're only here to kill you and take all your possessions. Excellent! No doubt our very presence has scared everyone away, mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Frank DuFresne: Why don't we just see if this place is listed by a licensed real estate agent?
O'Malley: Oh, shut up.
Frank DuFresne: But we don't even know if it's been inspected recently. It could need foundation work.
Lopez: It could have mold.
O'Malley: Both of you shut up! We're moving in and that's final. It has machine gun turrets, two living quarters with ample closet space, and a short commute to my secret laboratory. It's perfect!
Frank DuFresne: Yeah, but what about the school district?
Lopez: We have no children.
Frank DuFresne: It's important to think about resale value, Lopez.
O'Malley: Resale value? Our plan is to rule the world, not make prudent investments!
Lopez: It's important to have a fallback plan.
O'Malleys is a n00b
[O'Malley infected Frank "Doc" Defresne. O'Malley is atop of the base laughing evilly]
O'Malley: Here I am, you fools!
Church: How'd he get up there so quick?
Donut: That guy's wicked fast!
Frank DuFresne: Thanks! I lettered in track in High School! It was the least direct competitive sport I could find!
Grif: Track sucks!
O'Malley: *You* suck! And now I make my escape with my metallic hostage, never to be seen again! Unless I want to be seen, in which case, if I see you before you see me... look out! The universe will be mine!
Tuna is yum...so that means....wierd pirates are yum....yay!