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Revived, (critique welcomed, be nice)
Started by: ~Forever*Alone~

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danielle marie.
Bel Fan Club President

Gender: Female
Location: waiting out eternity.

Wow. Your stuff is amazing. I think My Eyes is my favorite of yours.

Keep up the good work!!


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Old Post Feb 10th, 2007 03:22 AM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

quote: (post)
Originally posted by d-fly_girl008
Wow. Your stuff is amazing. I think My Eyes is my favorite of yours.

Keep up the good work!!


wow, thank you


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Old Post Feb 10th, 2007 03:46 AM
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danielle marie.
Bel Fan Club President

Gender: Female
Location: waiting out eternity.

You are very welcome.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by ~Forever*Alone~
A Romantic Graveyard



In a place where the young envy the old,
Where itís neither too hot, nor too cold,
Where all hopes, beliefs, and dreams reside,
And there is nothing but emptiness inside,
Everyoneís favorite color is black,
And the patrons might give you a heart attack.
But everybody is so full of glee,
Because toothy grins are all you can see.
Donít let them fool you because they understand,
Soon your day to join them will be at hand.

The beautiful stones that mark where they lay,
To comfort the living who come everyday,
Tell tales, of who they used to be,
Or rather the lies for the living to see.
These beautiful stones carved with patience and care,
Donít matter to them, they are no longer there.

Comforted by the dying flowers at their feet,
Although not as sweet as a hearts last beat,
The pains of their lives cannot follow them here,
But they keep their memories crystal clear.


I change my mind. This one's my favorite.


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Old Post Feb 10th, 2007 04:00 AM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

heres some new old sh...tuff that i couldnt put up till now

lord of the flies chapter 1

upon a tropical island shore,
with sand so white and clean and pure,
two strangers wander aimlessly,
to find out where they might be.

the sea, the warmth seems fantasy,
they find themselvs in extacy,
eager for fun and on a whim,
one takes off his clothes and goes for a swim.

then on the beach and in the shade,
against the palm trees where he laid,
he watched as the lagoon shimmered,
but underneath it something glittered.

the conch shell that had caught his eye,
upon the sea ferns where it lye,
it made a sound so loud and strong,
it echoed far and for so long.

across the island others heard the sound,
they came and gathered all around,
an island of lost little boys,
just a few more of gods toys.

they decided who their leader was,
they chose Ralph, just because,
then he went out to explore,
to find out if it was an island for sure.

through the forest and climb the mountain,
their joy they could not detain,
it was such a beautiful view,
but they had to find out what to do.

so down the mountain they went,
among flowers with a pretty scent,
back to the place they came from,
to learn how to live in their new home.


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Last edited by ~Forever*Alone~ on Feb 14th, 2007 at 03:27 AM

Old Post Feb 14th, 2007 03:15 AM
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LiL_GuRL23
Junior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Australia

My lonely eyes, They never wonder,
But i wonder if they wonder,
Those who wonder upon the light, the tights,
Bright eyed, night lied, pried open by crime.
Through their prime they dry, cry and die.
They lie and buy, try and pry.....
They hide, bide their time, and climb, to bind.
Drop the coin, coil it around and boil it.
Close it in foil and confide in it.

cheers guys just thought i'd make some stuff up on the spot.

Old Post Feb 20th, 2007 04:30 AM
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jlee17xoxo412
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: US / UK

quote: (post)
Originally posted by ~Forever*Alone~
A Romantic Graveyard



In a place where the young envy the old,
Where itís neither too hot, nor too cold,
Where all hopes, beliefs, and dreams reside,
And there is nothing but emptiness inside,
Everyoneís favorite color is black,
And the patrons might give you a heart attack.
But everybody is so full of glee,
Because toothy grins are all you can see.
Donít let them fool you because they understand,
Soon your day to join them will be at hand.

The beautiful stones that mark where they lay,
To comfort the living who come everyday,
Tell tales, of who they used to be,
Or rather the lies for the living to see.
These beautiful stones carved with patience and care,
Donít matter to them, they are no longer there.

Comforted by the dying flowers at their feet,
Although not as sweet as a hearts last beat,
The pains of their lives cannot follow them here,
But they keep their memories crystal clear.


This is a very deep peom. It has alot of emotions and i love peoms like that. It has a sence of beauty within the darkness. I like how it keeps your mind open and makes you think.
Your very first poem , My Eyes, had a similar feel of emotion too.
Your other peoms are okay too but these two seem to be the ones that really got my attention. They really have a good flow to them when you read them.
Okay i wrote enough lol keep up the good work


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So guys are the most confusing thing ever on earth


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Old Post Mar 2nd, 2007 03:27 AM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

Bad Sonnet #2

A slowly flowing river is as time,
A course long carved and followed endlessly,
It's eternal path so cruel and sublime,
Its duty to act so maliciously,
Time like a cycle of lovers quarrels,
Separated by hate, bound by their love,
the river will take them in its whorls,
They'll be taken home by the lord above,
Time lets them know where it is that they stand,
Friends and enemies all by the same bide,
like walking along the beach in the sand,
our footprints are washed away by the tide,
in the end all that will be left is time,
not even remembered will be this rhyme.


i dislike sonnets, because of all the rules.


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Old Post May 3rd, 2007 12:01 AM
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King of Blades
The King

Gender: Male
Location: The South

As a poet myself, I would invite you to try writing poems without the rhyme scheme. Feel free to float adrift in a river of broken rhyme schemes and off beat rhythms. To plunge into the deep end of free verse...

But your peoms are wonderfull, amazing, wonderfuly amazing?


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Old Post May 3rd, 2007 02:20 AM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

quote: (post)
Originally posted by AOR
As a poet myself, I would invite you to try writing poems without the rhyme scheme. Feel free to float adrift in a river of broken rhyme schemes and off beat rhythms. To plunge into the deep end of free verse...

But your peoms are wonderfull, amazing, wonderfuly amazing?


thank you smile

i will try free verse, although, one without... uh forgot what i was going to say.


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Old Post May 3rd, 2007 02:47 AM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

A Free Verse For AOR



I Hate You Dad.

Dad, i dont know what to say.
why was i the focus of your anger?
i was just a little kid, i didnt know right from wrong,
you never told me why.
how was i supposed to know?
you asked for my forgiveness, no,
you didnt, you said you were sorry.
i thought about it. no.
im not going to forgive you, now that i can see the end result.
you would let him get away with murder, but tried to correct my every little mistake.
you made me fear mistakes, your the reason i no longer have a voice,
the reason i have no friends, no life, no love for you.
you let them watch your temperal administrations.
what a humiliation.
look at what those bastards became,
they lack no confidance, while i have none.
thanks dad, this is what youve done.


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Old Post May 12th, 2007 05:18 PM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

Goodbye Forever.


Farewell, all, as I depart,
I came and left, without a heart.

I was unknown, and never knew,
How to act, as others do.

I made few friends and I will go,
Without a friend to care or know.

But first please, listen as I say,
Treat others in a different way.

Silent words have all the power,
like tearing petals off a flower.


And will I remain unknown
I am ~Forever*Alone~


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Old Post Jun 17th, 2007 07:11 AM
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doomsday49
Restricted

Gender: Male
Location: Pandora's Box

Account Restricted

quote: (post)
Originally posted by ~Forever*Alone~
Goodbye Forever.


Farewell, all, as I depart,
I came and left, without a heart.

I was unknown, and never knew,
How to act, as others do.

I made few friends and I will go,
Without a friend to care or know.

But first please, listen as I say,
Treat others in a different way.

Silent words have all the power,
like tearing petals off a flower.


And will I remain unknown
I am ~Forever*Alone~


your description was not unlike the grim reaper. Is that what you're describing? Or should i take it as simple emotion?


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my life rap isn't for the weak or feeble/ my youth was no sunshine the grind'll eat you/ they say learn from the past history can teach you/ but if i live backward all i see is evil.....Doomsday biatch!!!!!

Old Post Jun 18th, 2007 12:40 AM
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Emilinka
Junior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Canada

its a goodbye, she left.


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David Bowie ROCKS MY SOCKS!!! love

Old Post Jun 19th, 2007 03:59 AM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

quote: (post)
Originally posted by doomsday49
your description was not unlike the grim reaper. Is that what you're describing? Or should i take it as simple emotion?






a poem is whatever you want it to be.

if in the future english students have to analyze my poems, then i feel they will interpret it differently than i wrote it.


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Old Post Sep 26th, 2007 05:53 AM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

im not writing free verse anymore, i hate free verse and do not view free verse poems as actual poems, simply very bad prose.


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Old Post Sep 26th, 2007 07:36 PM
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miss_swann
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Gender: Female
Location: West Kensington, London

I like your stuff.


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http://www.freewebs.com/addie-golightly/index.htm PLEASE READ IT!


I can't make sigs, Silent Dreams can.

Old Post Sep 27th, 2007 06:45 PM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

well thank you, i like you.


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Old Post Sep 28th, 2007 07:07 PM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

Dreamers

Let the dreamers dreams,
Let them live in fantasy,
Life isnít what it seems,
There is no true reality.

Let singers sing their songs,
Thereís more truth in their lies,
Than lies in all the wrongs,
In the worlds complex disguise.

Let players play their part,
In the fable weíve devised,
And once we let them start,
It cannot be revised.

Let writers write the words,
That tell all tragic woes,
And leave them afterwards,
With the life they chose.

Donít listen to the poets,
Whose words come so cheap,
Hiding silent secrets,
Found only in your sleep.



i promised i wouldnt cross the lines, but i have, and i dont really care. and no this isnt plagiarism, if you seen this somewhere else its because i posted on another forum under a different name.

my stuff isnt all bad is it?


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Old Post Oct 19th, 2007 05:44 AM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

My Broken Heart.

What are you doing here, hadnít I torn you apart?
They all say I was the one who broke your heart.
We were so young, such close friends,
Itís sad to know that this is how it ends.

We had known each other forever you know,
But your love for me you wouldnít show.
I thought I was the only one who cared,
Oh what a difference, if both of us had shared. ... To Be Continued...


apparantly, or so I'm told, i broke this guys heart. i had no idea he had feelings for me, because i had always acted so affectionately towards him and he never seemed to feel the same. so eventually i just quit and gave up on him and moved on and i didnt realize how he felt for me... its titled My Broken Heart because his heart belonged to me, and i accidently broke it.

oh, and its also a work in progress and im not done... i take a long time you see....


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Old Post Oct 22nd, 2007 06:18 AM
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~Forever*Alone~
Empress

Gender: Female
Location: EveryWhere And NoWhere

...Continued...

I'm sorry that I brought you so much pain,
We both lost out on all we could gain,
I'm sorry I took your heart and left you without,
But sometimes thats what life is about.

I can't rekindle the feelings I once felt,
But an unlit candle will never melt,
I still care, so lets leave it at that okay?
Now, as you can see I'm busy so go away.


well, there it is. i know, im awful at endings, just awful... told you.


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Old Post Oct 22nd, 2007 11:48 PM
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