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What do you think of this story.
Started by: Wolf_Girl15

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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

It's only so that each section is kept relatively neat. Also, if you're looking for decent, constructive criticism on your work, the genfic area is the best place for it. Just be patient smile


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 04:21 PM
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Spearhead
Prophet

Gender: Unspecified
Location: SECRET TUNNEL! SECRET TUNNEL!

Exactly; a lot of the advice you'll get from the OTF will be worthless.

Anywho, I'd suggest getting someone to proofread, otherwise, it's allright


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I'm a signature!

Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 04:24 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

I just ran a spell check and all that on it...I plan to have an english teacher proofread it. here is the correct version:

The Untold Tale

Chapter One:
Secrets Revealed


I yawn as I walk through the door to the band room. I glance around to see who all has shown up for their sectionals. I spot five trumpet players. Three are freshmen two are my grade or older. I walk across the band room to the lockers were the band instruments are stored. I open a combination lock to my locker, and pull out my trumpet. I head to the other side of the band room as I adjust my hoodie. I pick up my flip folder and drill book. I put the flip folder on my horn and the drill book over my shoulder. I am just glad sectionals are over and I didn’t have to go to it as I walk up to my friend Ryan Car.
I follow him down to the marching field, talking to him about different things having to do with school. We quickly move to our spots in the attendance block so we don’t get counted tardy. I glance quickly around to see if Doug is here yet, when I spot a person hiding in the shadows. I can tell it is a male but I can’t tell if it is an agent of BlackGhost, the organization that made me a cyborg. The man is following a trumpet player. I watch to see who it is when I realize…. It’s Doug. Ryan asks if I know the man following Doug but I am already on my way to the sideline to set my trumpet down out of the way. I quickly run to Doug just as the figure steps out of the shadows to attack Doug. The second he is in the light I realize he is an agent from BlackGhost.
Two massive angelic wings erupt from the back of my hoodie. They start to flap quickly lifting me into the air; I fly to Doug landing beside him. The agent pulls out a gun, firing it at us narrowly missing us.
“Run Doug.” I yell as I flap my wings sending me shooting straight up into the air. Doug runs out of the way as the agent fires the gun over and over creating a shower of bullets. I manage to avoid the bullets as I fly towards him. The second I am close enough; I fold my wings in quickly sending me towards the ground. I slam my heal into his right shoulder knocking him to the ground; the force of the attack makes him release his grip on the gun.
“Leave now and I wont kill you.” I say to him. He quickly stands up running away with his left hand on his right shoulder where I hit him. I turn around to head back to the field to find the whole band staring at me. With my wings outstretched, I felt exposed. I jump up flapping my wings quickly to force me up into the air. I fly over the throng of band members and land next to my trumpet. I pick it up planning to leave yet another town and another life behind like I have so many times before.
As I prepare to fly away, a warm strong hand grabs my shoulder. I turn to see who it is. It’s Doug and the rest of the band is behind him.
“What just happened?” I sigh folding my wings back into my hoodie, the band director walks up wanting to know as well. He hands the microphone he uses during marching rehearsals to me so everyone can hear her. I tell them about how I was captured by BlackGhost (B.G.), How they forced me into having the wings grafted onto my back, how they tried to force me to fight for them so they can take over the world, and how I escaped from them with the help of nine cyborgs and one professor who I live with.
When I finally finish, I explain how dangerous it is for them to know what I am and how important it is that they never tell anyone about this. The whole band agrees to not tell. I smile when a boy with brown hair asks if I would give anyone a ride. I unfold my wings and fly straight up before diving down picking the boy up without stopping. I fly low around the school a few times before I return to the band. I hover over an open area and fold my wings so we both plummet to the ground. The boy screams and before we hit the ground I unfold and flap my wings stopping our downward momentum suddenly. I gently set him down before landing softly. I refold my wings into my hoodie sealing the holes they had emerged from with strips of Velcro I had put on. It is obvious they were put there just for my wings. I spend the rest of band class answering questions about my wings and B.G.
Near the time for the bell to ring, we all head into the band room to put our things up. I pull my backpack on and Doug asks if wearing it hurts my wings. I shake my head saying that my wings are used to being squished. I go through school as if nothing had ever happened. The only hint of what had happened in band was the occasional glance from the band members who still can believe what happened.
After school I turn my cell phone on to check whether or not I am to ride the bus. As I am about to hit call a strong arm wraps around my neck from behind me, pulling me against the person’s chest so I cant use my wings.
“Quit squirming or we will kill the one you love.” The person says angrily.
“You don’t know who I love” I reply.
“Oh really?” The person points to a young man walking down a side walk past he school with his free arm. “That is the boy you love” My eyes widen and I instantly stop struggling.
“Good girl. Now come with me.” He lets go of me and walks off. I follow him noticing he is a BG agent. I spot another agent sneaking up on the boy with a gun in hand.
I force my wings to unfold out of my hoodie and Lift me into the air. I fly to stop the agent, landing between the boy and the agent.
“Leave Matt alone.”
“Why should I” The agent raises the gun aiming it at me.
Suddenly, my eyes glow bright yellow. My hair moves in a sudden strong wind, and my entire body starts to glow brightly. When the glow from my body fades, my glowing yellow eyes lock on the agent. Electricity moves over my body to my right arm. I raise my right are, as the strong wind only gets stronger. I aim my open palm at the agent, instantly a large bolt of electricity jumps from my right arm to the agent killing him instantly. I lower my right arm smirking before the glow fades from my eyes. I pass out the instant the glow fades. The last thing I see is one of the nine cyborgs I live with walking up behind Matt, who is holding me. Then I black out….

I wake up slowly. I open my eyes and try to sit up. A strong hand touches my shoulder gently.
“Don’t sit up. You are back on the ship in the sick room. Matt is here with me.” I recognize the owner of the voice right away. It’s my friend, Al. I look up into his nearly white eyes as he softly tells me to rest. I try to argue, but I fall into a deep sleep before I can. I feel a warm hand softly hold my hand just before I drift of to another world, a world ruled by dreams.
I dream of B.G capturing Matt, and killing him because I refuse to obey their commands. I scream as I sit up quickly, eyes wide. I am wide awake now. Matt’s worried eyes look into my own.
“What’s wrong?” He asks. He makes me lay back down as I tell him about the dream. He calms me down telling me it was only a dream. I yawn lightly after a while of him calming me down. He gently strokes my hand as I slowly drift off to sleep again…

Matt catches my limp body after I had attacked the agent in front of the school. A man walks up behind him and offers to help.
“ I know you don’t know me, but I am a friend of hers. I know who can help her.” The man says.
“Why should I trust you?” Matt replies.
“What other option is there? No hospital can help her”
“Alright.” The man picks me up bridal style and leads Matt to a red porche`. Matt opens the back door and the man sets me down gently in the back seat closing the door afterwards.
“Hop in” the man, says as he climes into the drivers seat. Matt hesitates before climbing into the passenger seat and buckling up.
The man starts the engine and drives out of the school parking lot.
“How do you know Mariah?” The man asks as he keeps his eyes on the road to avoid a wreck.
“I am her boyfriend.”
“What is your name?”
“Matthew, but I go by Matt.”
“ I am Albert, but I go by Al. I am one of the nine cyborgs she lives with.”
“Who was that guy, the one who tried to kill her?”
“He was an agent of an organization who kidnaps people to turn them into cyborgs, who can form the perfect army together.”
“What is the name of the organization?”
“BG.” He turns onto the interstate before continuing. “It stands for BlackGhost.”
“Why are they out to kill her?”
“For one she is a double zero cyborg, meaning she is one of the ten cyborgs who refused to fight to help the head of BG take over the world. She escaped wit the help of Professor Isaiah.”
He turns off the interstate. “And two because she is the only cyborg who knows how to hack into the BG computer system.
“And steal information about them?”
“Right”
“If she can do that, cant she just hack into their system and find a way to kill them?”
“She has tried that. She searched the entire BG computer system and found nothing.”
“What will happen to her when we find the person who can help her?”
“He will inject her with chemical to help in her healing, then she will get lots of bed rest.”
“Why tell me all this? What if I turned out to be with this BG?”
“Jet read all about you in her diary and told me. I asked who you were because she didn’t have any pictures of you in her diary.”
“Jet?”
“Yeah. We call him that because he is pretty much a human jet.”


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Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 04:35 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

“Why to go you by Al?”
“It sounds better than handgun.” He holds up his right hand pulling fake skin off it revealing a metal hand. He puts both hands back on the steering wheel quickly. “I have a machine gun built into my right hand.”
“Wow.”
“After awhile it losses its coolness.” Al pulls onto a dirt road. After a few minutes he pulls into a driveway.
“We’re here.” Al stops the car and turns it off. He gets out and opens the back door to get me.
“I’ll carry her.” Matt walks over to the open door and Al moves out of his way.
“Alright.” Is Al’s only reply as matt picks me up the same way Al had and carries me inside of a large airplane like house. Al leads him to a room with medical supplies and medical beds in it. Matt lays me gently on one of the beds and a man walks into the room.
“Matt, this is Professor Isaiah”
“Pleased to meet you” The professor says shaking Matt’s hand before walking over to a table and to get a syringe. He fills it with a clear liquid and injects it into my arm. He apologizes for having to go so soon but he has to find out of anyone else is in need of help. He leaves and I slowly start to awaken….

I walk into a large living room area after waking up and changing clothes. Matt is sitting beside Al talking about foot ball, politics, and the news.
All of the double zero cyborgs live together and they come in all shapes, sizes, nationalities, and personalities. Al is from Germany even though he hated the war. He was a five star general when a bomb exploded nearby him. BG found him and used his mangled body to see how many weapons they can fit into one human. He has one machine gun in his right hand, and a sonic cannon in each knee.
Sitting on the opposite side of Al as Matt is a guy with light red hair, a large nose, and a don’t-mess-with-me attitude. He has on blue jeans , a leather jacket and a red shirt. I recognize his distinct style. The former New York jet poi let, had engine trouble and crashed in the middle of no where. BG Took him back to their base and installed mini Jet engines in each leg. Which is how he got the name Jet.


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Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 04:35 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Wolf_Girl15
“Why to go you by Al?”
“It sounds better than handgun.” He holds up his right hand pulling fake skin off it revealing a metal hand. He puts both hands back on the steering wheel quickly. “I have a machine gun built into my right hand.”
“Wow.”
“After awhile it losses its coolness.” Al pulls onto a dirt road. After a few minutes he pulls into a driveway.
“We’re here.” Al stops the car and turns it off. He gets out and opens the back door to get me.
“I’ll carry her.” Matt walks over to the open door and Al moves out of his way.
“Alright.” Is Al’s only reply as matt picks me up the same way Al had and carries me inside of a large airplane like house. Al leads him to a room with medical supplies and medical beds in it. Matt lays me gently on one of the beds and a man walks into the room.
“Matt, this is Professor Isaiah”
“Pleased to meet you” The professor says shaking Matt’s hand before walking over to a table and to get a syringe. He fills it with a clear liquid and injects it into my arm. He apologizes for having to go so soon but he has to find out of anyone else is in need of help. He leaves and I slowly start to awaken….

I walk into a large living room area after waking up and changing clothes. Matt is sitting beside Al talking about foot ball, politics, and the news.
All of the double zero cyborgs live together and they come in all shapes, sizes, nationalities, and personalities. Al is from Germany even though he hated the war. He was a five star general when a bomb exploded nearby him. BG found him and used his mangled body to see how many weapons they can fit into one human. He has one machine gun in his right hand, and a sonic cannon in each knee.
Sitting on the opposite side of Al as Matt is a guy with light red hair, a large nose, and a don’t-mess-with-me attitude. He has on blue jeans , a leather jacket and a red shirt. I recognize his distinct style. The former New York jet poi let, had engine trouble and crashed in the middle of no where. BG Took him back to their base and installed mini Jet engines in each leg. Which is how he got the name Jet.

Next to Jet is a beautiful brown haired girl with a small blue haired baby in her arms. The girl is from France, she was in training to be come the worlds best dancer. She was tricked into thinking that the BG agents were there to take her to the elite dancing school. They knocked her out and gave her super senses. Her name is Frances.
How BG got the baby is unknown. All that is known of the child is he goes by 001, he is from Russian, and his cyborg ability is Telekinesis.
Next to 001 and Kris is a brown haired, brown eyed boy. BG caught him when he was running from the cops after being accused of burning down a church and killing the pastor inside. BG made him stronger and enhanced his natural running ability. He goes by Joe.
Beside Joe is a fat bald Chinese cyborg I recognize as Chang. No one can find anything on how he was caught. We do know he can breath fire. He had to be put in isolation here on the ship when he had a cold and kept sneezing to keep him from burning others. He is talking to a much taller, and thinner cyborg who is also bald. I recognize him as Britt. He is a former actor who was captured just as his career reached an all time low. He can now change into anything he wishes.
Next to them is a very tall and strong Indian. His name is GJ. His past is unknown to us other than the death of his pet wolf, which was also his best friend. He is super strong and bullet proof. GJ stands for Geranamo Jr.
Off to one side is an African looking man. I know him as Pyuma, but I just call him Tery. His abilities are breathing under water, and radar.


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Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 04:51 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

I want opinions from alot of different people to see if it would make it as a book.


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Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 05:13 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Wolf_Girl15
Next to Jet is a beautiful brown haired girl with a small blue haired baby in her arms. The girl is from France, she was in training to be come the worlds best dancer. She was tricked into thinking that the BG agents were there to take her to the elite dancing school. They knocked her out and gave her super senses. Her name is Frances.
How BG got the baby is unknown. All that is known of the child is he goes by 001, he is from Russian, and his cyborg ability is Telekinesis.
Next to 001 and Kris is a brown haired, brown eyed boy. BG caught him when he was running from the cops after being accused of burning down a church and killing the pastor inside. BG made him stronger and enhanced his natural running ability. He goes by Joe.
Beside Joe is a fat bald Chinese cyborg I recognize as Chang. No one can find anything on how he was caught. We do know he can breath fire. He had to be put in isolation here on the ship when he had a cold and kept sneezing to keep him from burning others. He is talking to a much taller, and thinner cyborg who is also bald. I recognize him as Britt. He is a former actor who was captured just as his career reached an all time low. He can now change into anything he wishes.
Next to them is a very tall and strong Indian. His name is GJ. His past is unknown to us other than the death of his pet wolf, which was also his best friend. He is super strong and bullet proof. GJ stands for Geranamo Jr.
Off to one side is an African looking man. I know him as Pyuma, but I just call him Tery. His abilities are breathing under water, and radar.

I go and sit between Al and Matt.
“Hay! She’s alive!” Jet says
“Ha ha. Not funny, Jet.”
“Aw. Light up, Champ.”
“How long was I asleep? And I told you my name is Mariah.”
“Two days and Champ sounds better.”
“Fine!” I shrug and lean lightly on Matt’s shoulder “Who will be brought here because of me?”
“Only Matt, Doug, and Ryan.”
“Why Ryan? BG doesn’t know he is my friend……do they?”
“We don’t know which is why he is being brought here with Dough as we speak.”
“Ryan might be able to help Isaiah with inventing and other science thingies. Dough can come up with ways for us to protect ourselves while we aren’t armed.”
“And what about Matt.”
“He can help keep us company.”
“Some more than others.” Jet says as he looks at me with a mischevious smile showing what he ment.
“Jet!” I throw a pillow at him as my face turns blood red. “You know I am not like that.”
“Calm down.” Jet says trying to save himself. I calm down only so I don’t look bad in front of Matt. “Good girl.” He says sarcasticly.
“I am not a dog” I reply.
“Sure you are, you’re my *****.” He smirks lightly at the surprised expression left on my face. “Oh yeah, I forgot your not my *****, your Matt’s.” Matt and I both blush a crimson red. Jet smiles going back to watching television, fully pleased with himself.
“I heard they captured a young man from a far off state and made him a cyorg ment to take Mariah on.” Al says.
“What state” I ask looking at him nervously.
“New York”
“What was his age and name?”
“Twenty nine and Chris, I think.”
“I was afraid of that.”
“Why?”
“He is my half brother. My long lost one.” I look down sadly. “And he may hate both my father and I.”
“I dought you will have to fight him” Al smiles. I have always considered Al to be like my father. “If you do, I will play ‘Brother, my brother’ loud enough for you to fight to.” Matt looks at him with confussion all over his face. “She fights her best when she has music playing during the fight. Its fun do watch.”
I smile…..I agree I wont have to fight my only blood brother….


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Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 05:32 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Wolf_Girl15
I go and sit between Al and Matt.
“Hay! She’s alive!” Jet says
“Ha ha. Not funny, Jet.”
“Aw. Light up, Champ.”
“How long was I asleep? And I told you my name is Mariah.”
“Two days and Champ sounds better.”
“Fine!” I shrug and lean lightly on Matt’s shoulder “Who will be brought here because of me?”
“Only Matt, Doug, and Ryan.”
“Why Ryan? BG doesn’t know he is my friend……do they?”
“We don’t know which is why he is being brought here with Dough as we speak.”
“Ryan might be able to help Isaiah with inventing and other science thingies. Dough can come up with ways for us to protect ourselves while we aren’t armed.”
“And what about Matt.”
“He can help keep us company.”
“Some more than others.” Jet says as he looks at me with a mischevious smile showing what he ment.
“Jet!” I throw a pillow at him as my face turns blood red. “You know I am not like that.”
“Calm down.” Jet says trying to save himself. I calm down only so I don’t look bad in front of Matt. “Good girl.” He says sarcasticly.
“I am not a dog” I reply.
“Sure you are, you’re my *****.” He smirks lightly at the surprised expression left on my face. “Oh yeah, I forgot your not my *****, your Matt’s.” Matt and I both blush a crimson red. Jet smiles going back to watching television, fully pleased with himself.
“I heard they captured a young man from a far off state and made him a cyorg ment to take Mariah on.” Al says.
“What state” I ask looking at him nervously.
“New York”
“What was his age and name?”
“Twenty nine and Chris, I think.”
“I was afraid of that.”
“Why?”
“He is my half brother. My long lost one.” I look down sadly. “And he may hate both my father and I.”
“I dought you will have to fight him” Al smiles. I have always considered Al to be like my father. “If you do, I will play ‘Brother, my brother’ loud enough for you to fight to.” Matt looks at him with confussion all over his face. “She fights her best when she has music playing during the fight. Its fun do watch.”
I smile…..I agree I wont have to fight my only blood brother….


I am sitting in my chair watching the radar for anything that maybe a threat to the ship. I am in control of the weapons and the main radar. Jet is steering the ship and Al is making sure no one does anything stupid. Everyone but Isaiah, Kris, 001, Matt, Ryan, And Doug is doing something for the ship. Britt is watching the secondary rardar, Chang is cooking, Tery is helping Al, Joe is going over some BG files I printed out, GJ is checking all of the pipes on the ship, and everyone is ready to defend the ship at a moments notice.
“Jet lands the ship in a large field. I wait for the back end to lower So I can leave for the band room with Dough and Ryan to perform at our final football game before we leave. I rev up my motor cycle. Matt is sitting behind me with his arms around me as I speed out of the ship. Al and Jet follow me with Ryan and Doug riding with them. Ryan, Doug and I climb off and run into the band room to put our uniforms on.


__________________

Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 05:57 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Wolf_Girl15
I am sitting in my chair watching the radar for anything that maybe a threat to the ship. I am in control of the weapons and the main radar. Jet is steering the ship and Al is making sure no one does anything stupid. Everyone but Isaiah, Kris, 001, Matt, Ryan, And Doug is doing something for the ship. Britt is watching the secondary rardar, Chang is cooking, Tery is helping Al, Joe is going over some BG files I printed out, GJ is checking all of the pipes on the ship, and everyone is ready to defend the ship at a moments notice.
“Jet lands the ship in a large field. I wait for the back end to lower So I can leave for the band room with Dough and Ryan to perform at our final football game before we leave. I rev up my motor cycle. Matt is sitting behind me with his arms around me as I speed out of the ship. Al and Jet follow me with Ryan and Doug riding with them. Ryan, Doug and I climb off and run into the band room to put our uniforms on.
I am the first one of the three of us to make it in. I instantly stop. Al follows Ryan and Doug in to make sure everything is okay. Al stops beside me. I can believe what I see. A BG agent is there in the middle of the room. He has long pitch black trench coat on. He looks at me and smirks as he reaches to the side of his left hip pulling out a sword. I turn to run only to find the door is blocked by a second agent. The first agent runs at me slashing at me with his sword. Al jumps out of the way as I avoid his attack and reach to the right side of the agents hip drawing his second sword. I jump off to one side quickly turning to face him holding the sword at the ready.
“Hello, Chris” I say smirking. The agent jumps at me trying to slash me again. I jump backwards avoiding the attack. I land not far from the agent blocking the door. “If I didn’t know any better I would think you weren’t my brother with the way you fight me.”
“I have no sister.” Chris replys as he runs at me again trying another slash followed by more slashes one right after the other. I block his attacks easily smirking.
“You do too. Your mother hates my father.”
“For good reason.” He starts to attack faster and stronger.
“He isn’t the same as he used to be”
“LIAR! Your just like him!”
He fainaly manages to hit me with his attacks. “Your both just liars. You don’t diserve to live and neither does that worthless man you call ‘father’” As he speaks, a surge of anger pulses trough my body, give me a new wave of strength and power. I swing my sword at him hitting him hard on the side of the cheek with the flat side of the sword. He falls over droping his sword from the force off that attack. I kick his sword away holding my sword at the ready.
“Leave now.” I stand with my back straight, and my head held high. My eyes show no main even though there is blood running down my right leg, left arm and cheek and a deep cut across my stomatch. Chris quickly stands up and follows the other agent as they run to a BG car that is waiting for them. I watch the car drive away quickly. I drop the sword and fall into a nearby chair to rest.
Al calls for Joe to pick us up in the convertible. Someone hands Al a first aid kit and he tends to my wounds.
“It’s too dangerous for you four to stay. We are leaving with Joe.”
“Marie….” I say
“Pardon?”
“ I cant leave Marie..” I sit up ignoring the many bandages on my body.
“Riah!” A girl walks up in blue jeans and a grey hoodie.
“She is my best friend” I say. Al is quiet as he thinks aobut if she should come. Finally he nods. I smile and try to stand but I instantly feel dizzy from blood loss, then I black out.


__________________

Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 07:34 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

“You had everyone worried.”
“How long was I out this time”
“Only a few hours.”
“Good”
“Why?”
“The Mall is still open.” I walk into the living room after putting on a better outfit. I talk Ryan, Dough, and Matt into joining me as I go to the mall.
We walk around the mall shopping for hours until a little girl no more than nine walks up and smiles sweetly.
“Pardon me, mister.” She says to Matt.
“Yes?” He replies kneeling beside her.
The little girl pulls out a small handgun that was apparently made just for her judging by its size, and she shoots Matt before we can stop her. She runs off into the crowd leaving a folded piece of paper in front of Matt’s dead body. I pick it up and read it through my tears.

That was only a warning; Beware of our agents of all shapes and ages.

BG


I hide my face in my hands and cry as Isaiah and the other cyborgs take care of Matt. Dough and Ryan help me up and lead me to the ship where Marie is waiting. She hugs me and I know she knows what happened.
Neither Marie nor me have to say anything. I cry on her shoulder as I hug her. She comforts me eventually managing to make me laugh.
All of the cyborgs meet in the living room on the ship. We all hear our options. We don’t have to tell anyone what happened for they all know.
We all listen and vote on what to do. It is unanimous vote, we have to leave the town. We drop Marie, Ryan and Doug off after we talk their parents into letting them go with us.
We leave a message for Matt’s family then head off to first pick up Marie. We all help her get her things into the room she and I will share. We leave to pick up Ryan. It takes less time to get his things in his room than it did for Marie. We go to pick up Doug, which goes the same as picking up Ryan had. We leave as soon as the last of his things is on the ship.
Before we take off I hear a familiar voice coming from near Doug’s sister. His sister moves and the girl who killed Matt pulls her gun out and shoots at Marie. This time I stand in the way taking the shot for her. Jet catches me when I fall backwards. He carries me inside the ship. The others are already in. Francis is driving and she makes the ship take off quickly.


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Old Post Dec 1st, 2006 11:03 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

I gasp for breath light as Jet removes the bullet from my bulletproof vest I had forgotten I had on. He makes me lay on my back on the couch until I recover from the force of the bullets impact. I yell something quickly in German and Al heads to the weapons control, aiming one of them at the little girls gun. He fires it and the gun explodes as we fly off into the distance.
Al comes back and helps me get the vest off. I am still trying to catch my breath as I look at Doug.
“Did you know she was there?” He shakes his head.
“ I only knew my sister had a friend over.” I nod and ask for a drink. Jet hands me a glass of water, and I take a drink as I sit up.
“I have recovered enough to walk, but” I put my hand over the area the bullet would have hit if I hadn’t worn my vest, “vest or no vest, getting shot hurts like crap.” Everyone laughs, even me. Marie helps me stand up, and then she hugs me.
“Thank you.” She says.
“Anytime, sis.” We smile knowing we would both die to protect the other….

Marie, Francis, and I are all sitting on our beds in the large room we all share.
“Which of the cyborgs do you all think is the nicest?” Francis asks us.
“Al” I say smiling.
“Jet” Francis says.
“ The tall Indian dude.” Marie says not knowing anyone’s name but Al and Jet.
“That’s GJ.” Francis says with a smile. “We have been asking questions all night! Its midnight, time to sleep.”
We all agree and I turn out the light and fall asleep…

We all wake up with the feeling something is Different from last night. We look out the window to find that Jet had landed the ship overnight. We are in the middle of woods near one of our hideouts. I get dressed and leave the ship. I let Marie know I am leaving for a while as I grab a leather jacket on my way out the door. I fold the jacket over one arm, flap my wings and take flight. I fly over the trees using clouds to hide myself. I dive down quickly landing in an alleyway I fold the jacket over one arm, flap my wings and take flight. I fly over the trees using clouds to hide myself. I dive down quickly landing in an alleyway. I fold my wings against the back of my shirt and put my black leather jacket on over them to hide them. I fold my wings against the back of my shirt and put my black leather jacket on over them to hide them.


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Old Post Dec 2nd, 2006 03:03 AM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

I put my hands in my jacket pockets and walk out onto the crowded street. I calmly walk through the city until I reach the gangster side of town. I walk through a gangs territory fearlessly knowing what happens if I show any sign of fear.
“What are you doing here” A voice from behind me says. I turn around to see Jet coming up behind me in his leather jacket and blue jeans. “Its dangerous to walk around alone in gangster territory” He stops just in front of me. He was once a gangster, and he still looks like the leader of a gang.
“ I have business here.” I reply
“What kind of business?”
“None ya!”
“Business from your past no doubt.” I look at him surprised that he knows. He smirks and says “I read your diary.”
“Whatever.” I walk deeper into the territory.
“I am coming with you.” Jet says
“Fine by me.” He catches up with me then he walks beside me. We look like brother and sister as we walk ever closer to where the gang that owns the territory lives. As we near the building we get surrounded by gangsters.
“Who are you” One of the gangsters calls out.
“I am Wolfy here to se the leader of this gang.” I reply
“What kind of name is Wolfy?”
“Its my nickname, or part of it.”
“Wait. You mean The Wolf? The ledgendary gagster?”
“I am.”
“Prove you’re The Wolf, show us the ledgendary wolf tattoo.”
I pull my right arm out of my leather jacket and pull the sleave of my t-shirt up to reveal a tattoo of a full moon with the sillowette of a howling wolf in it. Everyone of the gangsters eyes widen.
“It’s true! She really is The Wolf!” One of them yells.
“How do we know it’s not a copy of the real thing.”
“I had it costom made. No one but The Wolf Could have it. Check the moon and you will see what I mean.”
One of the gangsters cautiously walks towards me and looks at the moon on my arm to find the words “The Wolf” in small letters on the tattoo.
“She wasn’t lieing! She really is The Wolf.”
“Now that we have settled that, I wish to speak with the ring leader.” I pull my sleave back down and put my arm back in the sleave of my jacket. The gangster who looked at my tattoo nods and walks off motioning for Jet and I to follow. We follow him into a large abandon apartment complex. He takes us to room 209 and knocks on the door.
“Who dares bother me?!?” The voice comes from on the opposing side of the door.
“The Wolf and her guest wish to speak with you, sir.”
“The Wolf?!? Are you sure its really The Wolf?”
“Yes, sir. Her tattoo even says so. In the moon along the edge of the back of the howling wolf’s neck.”
“Send them in.” The gangster opens the door and Jet and I walk inside. He closes the door behind us as we see a man sitting at a desk near the back of the dark room. “Why have you come back, Wolfy?”
“Because I need a favor you owe me.”
“What is it you would need from me?”
“Weapon blue prints.”
“We dont have any.”
“I need your gang to steal them.”
“Wolfy, you know we quit that after we were nearly caught. No amount of money could get us to do that again.”
“I am not asking you as a client, I am asking as your adopted sister.” The man looks up into my eyes and sighs.
“Who has the blue prints and what is their address?” I smile….
“Jet and I walk back out of the gangs territory. We head for our favorite place to hang out.
“Why did you have him agree to do that?”
“I have my reasons.”
“You never said you had an adoptive brother, not even in your diary.”
“I never had a reason to.”
“Are you really as great as the ledgend says you are?”
“Mostly yes, but the one about me being able to change from human form to wolf form is a lie.”
“So you really did nearly distroy the most powerful gang in this area?”
“Yeah.”
“How”
“That is for me to know.” Jet laughs at my answer. We walk into a café`1 and sit on bar stools. Britt walks up and we order our drinks.
“Where have you two been all day?” He asks us as he makes our drinks.
“Taking care of some business.”
“What business?”
“Private.”
“If you say so.” He hands us our drinks and we talk about funny mistakes we have made during missions….


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Old Post Dec 3rd, 2006 10:24 PM
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xEsaulx
Bringer of Life

Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Quar

Suggestion that would make reading easier on all is to space between paragraphs. I know it is a pain, but it would be helpful. Now whenever I write anything, even for school they ask why i space between paragraphs, and I tell them, because I'm use to doing that with my stories.


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Old Post Dec 9th, 2006 08:39 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

Alright.


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Old Post Dec 9th, 2006 08:41 PM
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xEsaulx
Bringer of Life

Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Quar

Otherwise keep up the good work xD


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Old Post Dec 9th, 2006 08:41 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

Thanks.


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Old Post Dec 9th, 2006 09:08 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Wolf_Girl15
I put my hands in my jacket pockets and walk out onto the crowded street. I calmly walk through the city until I reach the gangster side of town. I walk through a gangs territory fearlessly knowing what happens if I show any sign of fear.
“What are you doing here” A voice from behind me says. I turn around to see Jet coming up behind me in his leather jacket and blue jeans. “Its dangerous to walk around alone in gangster territory” He stops just in front of me. He was once a gangster, and he still looks like the leader of a gang.
“ I have business here.” I reply
“What kind of business?”
“None ya!”
“Business from your past no doubt.” I look at him surprised that he knows. He smirks and says “I read your diary.”
“Whatever.” I walk deeper into the territory.
“I am coming with you.” Jet says
“Fine by me.” He catches up with me then he walks beside me. We look like brother and sister as we walk ever closer to where the gang that owns the territory lives. As we near the building we get surrounded by gangsters.
“Who are you” One of the gangsters calls out.
“I am Wolfy here to se the leader of this gang.” I reply
“What kind of name is Wolfy?”
“Its my nickname, or part of it.”
“Wait. You mean The Wolf? The ledgendary gagster?”
“I am.”
“Prove you’re The Wolf, show us the ledgendary wolf tattoo.”
I pull my right arm out of my leather jacket and pull the sleave of my t-shirt up to reveal a tattoo of a full moon with the sillowette of a howling wolf in it. Everyone of the gangsters eyes widen.
“It’s true! She really is The Wolf!” One of them yells.
“How do we know it’s not a copy of the real thing.”
“I had it costom made. No one but The Wolf Could have it. Check the moon and you will see what I mean.”
One of the gangsters cautiously walks towards me and looks at the moon on my arm to find the words “The Wolf” in small letters on the tattoo.
“She wasn’t lieing! She really is The Wolf.”
“Now that we have settled that, I wish to speak with the ring leader.” I pull my sleave back down and put my arm back in the sleave of my jacket. The gangster who looked at my tattoo nods and walks off motioning for Jet and I to follow. We follow him into a large abandon apartment complex. He takes us to room 209 and knocks on the door.
“Who dares bother me?!?” The voice comes from on the opposing side of the door.
“The Wolf and her guest wish to speak with you, sir.”
“The Wolf?!? Are you sure its really The Wolf?”
“Yes, sir. Her tattoo even says so. In the moon along the edge of the back of the howling wolf’s neck.”
“Send them in.” The gangster opens the door and Jet and I walk inside. He closes the door behind us as we see a man sitting at a desk near the back of the dark room. “Why have you come back, Wolfy?”
“Because I need a favor you owe me.”
“What is it you would need from me?”
“Weapon blue prints.”
“We dont have any.”
“I need your gang to steal them.”
“Wolfy, you know we quit that after we were nearly caught. No amount of money could get us to do that again.”
“I am not asking you as a client, I am asking as your adopted sister.” The man looks up into my eyes and sighs.
“Who has the blue prints and what is their address?” I smile….
“Jet and I walk back out of the gangs territory. We head for our favorite place to hang out.
“Why did you have him agree to do that?”
“I have my reasons.”
“You never said you had an adoptive brother, not even in your diary.”
“I never had a reason to.”
“Are you really as great as the ledgend says you are?”
“Mostly yes, but the one about me being able to change from human form to wolf form is a lie.”
“So you really did nearly distroy the most powerful gang in this area?”
“Yeah.”
“How”
“That is for me to know.” Jet laughs at my answer. We walk into a café`1 and sit on bar stools. Britt walks up and we order our drinks.
“Where have you two been all day?” He asks us as he makes our drinks.
“Taking care of some business.”
“What business?”
“Private.”
“If you say so.” He hands us our drinks and we talk about funny mistakes we have made during missions….
Britt is working in the kitchen and Chang is taking orders at the café`
“I wonder what Mariah and Jet had done before they came in here a week ago that was so private.” Chang looks backwards at Britt.
“Its not ours to know” Britt replies. Chang looks at the door as it flies open, and a bunch of gangsters walk in.
“We are here to see Chang.”
Chang steps forwards. “I am Chang”
The head gangster walks over to him, and sets a brown envelope face up with the words “The Wolf” on it, infront of him.
“Give this to Mariah. DO NOT open it under any surcumsances.”
“Okay” Chang watches as the gangsters leave the café`. He looks at the large envelope and flips it over to find the seal of a very powerful gang on the back flap, holding it closed. His eyes instantly widen, knowing this has to be delivered right away.
“I am leaving. Take over for me while I am gone.”
“Okay. Where are you going” Britt asks, but Chang is already gone……
Chang walks into the living room of the double zero cyborg base, where Jet, Al, and I are argueing over what to watch. He walks up to me.
“Some interesting people came to the Café` today.” He says
“what kind of people” I ask.
“Gangsters.”
At the word Al and Jet look at him, Jet with calm eyes, and Al with shocked eyes.
“And they said to give you this” Chang hands me the envelope, but doesn’t let go of it. I look up at him curiously. “Who is The Wolf, Mariah” he asks.
“What”
“Who is ‘The Wolf’?” He flips the envelope over, so the words are plane to see.
“Just some gangster in street ledgends.”
“Then why is that persons name on an envelope gangsters dropped off?”
“I guess they just reused an oldenvelope.”
“It is brand new.”
“Well…..I guess…..they…” I rub my right arm where my custom tattoo is. He pulls the envelope out of my reach.


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Old Post Feb 19th, 2007 07:50 PM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

“Hey!”
“What are you hiding?”
“Nothing!”
“Your hiding something.”
I look over at Al as he speaks. “Why else would you be rubbing your right arm like that?”
I look from Al to Chang, then to Jet. Jet looks nervous showing he cant help. I jerk my head back to Al, as I feel him grabing my right wrist, a quick pulling motion from him, and my sleave is up and my tattoo is exposed.
“If ‘The Wolf’ is a ledgend, Why is their name on your arm?” he says.
“I am The Wolf….” I look off to one side nervously.
“Why didn’t you just say so?
“She didn’t want anyone to know.” Jet says, as he stands up and moves over next to Chang. He tells them what happened while he and I went out leaving out the part about the leader being my brother.
After he finishes, Chang hands me the envelope and leaves without a word. I leave the room after refusing to tell Al what was in the envelope. I sit at my desk in my room, and open the envelope. I examine what is inside, and smirk as I put the contects back inside.
“Perfect.” I put the envelope in a locking drawer. I make sure its locked and put the key in my pocket, before I leave my room to join the cyborgs for dinner.


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Old Post Feb 19th, 2007 08:06 PM
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iKinneas
Black Swordsman

Gender: Male
Location: Aincrad II

extremely impressive. i look forward to the rest as it becomes available to read.


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A person is very strong when he seeks to protect something. I'll expect a good fight. - Heathcliff, SAO 1:13

Old Post Mar 4th, 2007 04:33 AM
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Lt_Champion
fragile, handle with care

Gender: Female
Location: The middle of the woods

Wow.... someone left a post about my story.... wow....


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Old Post Mar 4th, 2007 04:35 AM
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