For the most part, I agree. Depending on the dialogue scene, 'said' and 'asked' can carry virtually the whole shebang, with maybe one or two alternatives thrown in to keep it fresh. And good writing is when you don't notice the words, only the story (told to me in one of the few personally-written rejection letters I've gotten).
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Shinier than a speeding bullet.
Personally, I've found overuse of the word "said" (or like descriptors for speech) to be distracting. For example, reading Jurassic Park, I was constantly torn from my place within the fiction by nearly each line of dialogue being ended or otherwise interrupted by the word "said."
BTW: "Quod/quoth" was unjustly absent from the list of words.
"What are you doing?" The trooper asked.
Jak turned and said. "I'm just tying my shoes."
"Oh, really. Get up!" The trooper said grabbing him and hauling Jak up.
"Ow. Hey!" Jak said.
The trooper shoved him forward with a push. "Walk." He said. Then lodged the nozzel of the blaster rifle between Jaks shoulder blades. It whined as it powered up.
Jak tried talking to the Stormtrooper. "You gonna kill me?" Jak said. Asking the trooper.
The trooper smiled behind his helmet. "You will find out soon enough." He said, then said. "No more talk you rebel scum." They coninued in silence...
End.
Now I used 'said' where i could have used other words. It does reduce the quality of the work/story.
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A long time have I waited for this, my little green friend!
"What are you doing?" the trooper asked.
Jak turned and said, "I"m just tying my shoes."
"Oh, really. Get up!" The trooper grabbed and hauled Jak to his feet.
"Ow. Hey!" Jak said.
The trooper shoved him forward with a push. "Walk," he ordered, lodging the nozzle of the blaster between Jak's shoulder blades. The weapon whined as it powered up.
Jak tried talking to the Stormtrooper. "You gonna kill me?" he asked.
The trooper smiled behind his helmet. "You will find out soon enough. No more talk, you rebel scum."
They continued in silence.
All things in moderation.
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Shinier than a speeding bullet.
Now thats how I would have done it anyway. I was just giving an exanple of over-use. Compare both scenes, although similar they differ in feel and pace. Said pauses the continuity of the scene.
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A long time have I waited for this, my little green friend!
I actually use 'said' when I don't want to call attention to the word that describes 'said.' So basically, if I want the dialogue to be the focus, I use 'said.' If I want the tone or implication of the words to also be immediately recognized, I deviate from 'said.' Don't be afraid to use it just because it is supposedly the most bland way of having a quote. It has its place.
Still, fun list that I just saw today for the first time.
Personally I find it more effective to simply not say who's speaking. Just put the line of dialogue out there without much else. I find that doing it this way makes you more alert to trying to specify the verbal nuances and differences between separate characters in order to clarify who is speaking, rather than falling back on using "he said, she said" and what have you. Also that simply feels like clutter, to me.
That can usually work if you only have two people conversing, but it gets confusing when you up it to three or more. Then you really aren't sure who is speaking unless they have very distinct speaking patterns written for them.
I find that using other words in place of said/say is rarely helpful and usually just distracts the reader.
Whisper/shout/yell/ask/mutter/murmur are the only ones I use and even then only if I want to convey a particular emotion/tenor, not just for the sake of "variety"
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“Where the longleaf pines are whispering
to him who loved them so.
Where the faint murmurs now dwindling
echo o’er tide and shore."
-A Grave Epitaph in Santa Rosa County, Florida; I wish I could remember the man's name.
This list will help me a lot. I have lots of these written down already because I copied them down while reading a Robert McCammon book. He uses the wondrously descriptive words.
I did see that you didn't include "went on," which I use in my own writing.
Thanks again.
KMC Community Forums
Jun 5th, 2007 04:37 AM
