KillerMovies - Movies That Matter!

REGISTER HERE TO JOIN IN! - It's easy and it's free!
Home » Misc » Artwork Forum » Poetry Corner » maybe

maybe
Started by: Punkyhermy

Forum Jump:
Post New Thread    Post A Reply
Pages (2): [1] 2 »   Last Thread   Next Thread
Author
Thread
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

Sleep maybe



Glistened cheek with its drops like liquid
Slide and itch.

Nail. Embossed bath tissue stuck.
Threadbare, filmy. Ripped.

Thud thud, look.
Sing. Collide blocks that build.

Julia. Maybe amazed lets it be.
Kissing kisslessly.

Old Post Sep 20th, 2007 04:47 AM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
vivando-loca
untitled

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Airports to Amsterdam...

whoa, riveting and haunting, nice. big grin


__________________

Old Post Sep 20th, 2007 07:38 PM
vivando-loca is currently offline Click here to Send vivando-loca a Private Message Find more posts by vivando-loca Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

aw thank you.big grin

Old Post Sep 20th, 2007 09:09 PM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

Sleep ...



sweats haphazardly cut
cover the ass.legs,
Shine white. Whiter than
The wall divided.

sunshine yellow flats
Not for ballet. Scarlet
Camels walk the feet
On marble as white.

B. bold and red. outlined
white. Evening blue that
Hides eyes.not lips fuzzy
Edged and pink that
Move in rhythm.

Old Post Sep 20th, 2007 09:52 PM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Mr. Bacon
Who?

Gender: Male
Location: History

short and sweet, succinct yet detailed.

i like it smile the style is cool yes the imagery is very clear

Old Post Sep 20th, 2007 09:53 PM
Mr. Bacon is currently offline Click here to Send Mr. Bacon a Private Message Find more posts by Mr. Bacon Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Mr. Bacon
Who?

Gender: Male
Location: History

stick out tongue the first stanza is best i think yes

Old Post Sep 20th, 2007 09:58 PM
Mr. Bacon is currently offline Click here to Send Mr. Bacon a Private Message Find more posts by Mr. Bacon Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

aww thanks kev!happy

i'm glad you liked.big grin

Old Post Sep 20th, 2007 10:04 PM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

i seestick out tongue
thanks for reading!smile

Old Post Sep 20th, 2007 10:06 PM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Mr. Bacon
Who?

Gender: Male
Location: History

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Punkyhermy
i seestick out tongue
thanks for reading!smile

anytime dahling happy

Old Post Sep 21st, 2007 12:21 AM
Mr. Bacon is currently offline Click here to Send Mr. Bacon a Private Message Find more posts by Mr. Bacon Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Roulette
Freak

Gender: Female
Location: Arkham Asylum

Simple, but beautiful.

Nice work, Punky! smile


__________________

Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.

Old Post Oct 27th, 2007 10:57 AM
Roulette is currently offline Click here to Send Roulette a Private Message Find more posts by Roulette Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Roulette
Simple, but beautiful.

Nice work, Punky! smile


thanks sweetie.happy

btw. batman love!!!

eek!

Old Post Oct 30th, 2007 05:22 PM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Roulette
Freak

Gender: Female
Location: Arkham Asylum

Welcomes! ^-^

Haha. big grin Yay for The Bat! Can't wait for The Dark Knight. *Claps loudly*


__________________

Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.

Old Post Oct 31st, 2007 10:51 AM
Roulette is currently offline Click here to Send Roulette a Private Message Find more posts by Roulette Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

big grin

I knowww!!
eek!

Old Post Oct 31st, 2007 05:12 PM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Roulette
Freak

Gender: Female
Location: Arkham Asylum



Comes out in July, right? Crapz, I wish it was July. sad


__________________

Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.

Old Post Nov 1st, 2007 06:19 AM
Roulette is currently offline Click here to Send Roulette a Private Message Find more posts by Roulette Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
King of Blades
The King

Gender: Male
Location: The South

I don't want to seem like the sour apple here but I think your poetry lacks...I don't...that little something something that lets the reader know what the poems about.

The first poem left me with a nagging of a girl getting ready for a date. I wasn't so sure the imagery painted something, that though was a stretch.

The second poem reminded me of articles in papers and magazines. Now for this I am positive was not the intention of the poem. The stanza's don't seem to flow to form one coherent image and/or story, which makes it very confusing to determine what it is your trying to say. Maybe a title will make it easier to see what it is you are trying to write.

That's my two cents.


__________________

Old Post Nov 2nd, 2007 02:19 AM
King of Blades is currently offline Click here to Send King of Blades a Private Message Find more posts by King of Blades Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

The thing is tho AOR, my poems were meant to be of abstract nature. It is SUPPOSED to be up to the reader to make of them what he will. This isn't a flaw just another style of composing poems.

Old Post Dec 23rd, 2007 06:52 PM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

I didnít hear the wind
That threw to the worn
Out parquet white
Sheets faced down.

Blank rectangles of
Whiteness at my
Chilled feet
Lay threatened
To forever stay.

But I was looking
at the distance
as Murkyness
dubbed it unseen.

Old Post Dec 23rd, 2007 07:15 PM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Rubyman
Restricted

Gender: Male
Location: The Next level

Account Restricted

dont likee youur sdtuff rely

Old Post Dec 23rd, 2007 10:41 PM
Rubyman is currently offline Click here to Send Rubyman a Private Message Find more posts by Rubyman Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Mr. Bacon
Who?

Gender: Male
Location: History

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Punkyhermy
I didnít hear the wind
That threw to the worn
Out parquet white
Sheets faced down.

Blank rectangles of
Whiteness at my
Chilled feet
Lay threatened
To forever stay.

But I was looking
at the distance
as Murkyness
dubbed it unseen.

haha, i like stick out tongue

the subject seems so very simple and random big grin

Old Post Dec 24th, 2007 05:25 AM
Mr. Bacon is currently offline Click here to Send Mr. Bacon a Private Message Find more posts by Mr. Bacon Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Mr. Bacon
haha, i like stick out tongue

the subject seems so very simple and random big grin


I;m glad.happy


it is. it was written really quickstick out tongue

Old Post Dec 24th, 2007 07:25 PM
Punkyhermy is currently offline Click here to Send Punkyhermy a Private Message Find more posts by Punkyhermy Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
All times are UTC. The time now is 11:11 AM.
Pages (2): [1] 2 »   Last Thread   Next Thread

Home » Misc » Artwork Forum » Poetry Corner » maybe

Email this Page
Subscribe to this Thread
   Post New Thread  Post A Reply

Forum Jump:
Search by user:
 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON

Text-only version
 

< - KillerMovies.com - Forum Archive - Forum Rules >


© Copyright 2000-2006, KillerMovies.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by: vBulletin, copyright ©2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.