KillerMovies - Movies That Matter!

REGISTER HERE TO JOIN IN! - It's easy and it's free!
Home » Misc » Artwork Forum » Poetry Corner » my new poems

my new poems
Started by: XvampbenjiiX666

Forum Jump:
Post New Thread    Post A Reply
Pages (24): « First ... « 3 4 [5] 6 7 » ... Last »   Last Thread   Next Thread
Author
Thread
Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Bating.


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 01:54 PM
Lara is currently offline Click here to Send Lara a Private Message Find more posts by Lara Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
chillmeistergen
Restricted

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

Account Restricted

Nah, bating is something I never really do, I'm giving my honest opinion. If you said bashing then I may see your point, sort of.


__________________

"All morons hate it when you call them a moron." - Holden Caulfield

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 01:57 PM
chillmeistergen is currently offline Click here to Send chillmeistergen a Private Message Find more posts by chillmeistergen Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Bating. no expression saying some thing in the hope of a respective outburst, you are looking for a reaction and strangely enough you've been doing it for quite a while and its managed to rattle my cage! no expression

you know I really think you nees to get laid!

In respect of your previous post:

I save my knowledge for people who appreciate it. you, are not one of those people. and I remeber some time ago Critic having a similar converation with in in Dreaming Warriors thread.

However I must point out that that your efforts didnt draw much attention. Which leads me to believe, that you ridicule others who can write because it obviously doesnt come naturally to you.

Also what you fail to realise is, here alot of the poetry (that is posted by members who wish to share) is writen thoughts and feelings, quite literally undressed, clear, simple expression.

you dont need to use metaphores, and completely maipulate your work into some thing other than it is, for example:


About His Person

Five pounds fifty in change, exactly,
a library card on its date of expiry.

A postcard stamped,
unwritten, but franked,

a pocket size diary slashed with a pencil
from March twenty-fourth to the first of April.

A brace of keys for a mortise lock,
an analogue watch, self winding, stopped.

A final demand
in his own hand,

a rolled up note of explanation
planted there like a spray carnation

but beheaded, in his fist.
A shopping list.

A givaway photgraph stashed in his wallet,
a kepsake banked in the heart of a locket.

no gold or silver,
but crowning one finger

a ring of white unweathered skin.
That was everything.

Simon Armitage


This poem is actually about a murder, the description of his posessions only is the only thing left to percieve his perosnailty.

Here on the forums its a sharing of experiences and a chance to better express them, NOT to dress it up into something else other than what it is.

If you have come here expecting to find talent of the likes of Wordsworth, Shakespeare, Allen Poe and the stated above, Armitage, you'd be very lucky.

I see alot of people here with alot of talent, however, belittling them, disrespecting them and abusing them is cerntainly not the way to go about helping them improve their work.

Like I've said to you before a little mutual respect goes along way, treat other how you wish to be treated in return.


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 02:26 PM
Lara is currently offline Click here to Send Lara a Private Message Find more posts by Lara Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Jedireaper
PSN ID > DarkJedireaper

Gender: Male
Location: Manchester, UK

lol great response Lara. *backs you up*


__________________

A long time have I waited for this, my little green friend!

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 02:47 PM
Jedireaper is currently offline Click here to Send Jedireaper a Private Message Find more posts by Jedireaper Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
chillmeistergen
Restricted

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

Account Restricted

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Lara
Bating. no expression saying some thing in the hope of a respective outburst, you are looking for a reaction and strangely enough you've been doing it for quite a while and its managed to rattle my cage! no expression

you know I really think you nees to get laid!

In respect of your previous post:

I save my knowledge for people who appreciate it. you, are not one of those people. and I remeber some time ago Critic having a similar converation with in in Dreaming Warriors thread.

However I must point out that that your efforts didnt draw much attention. Which leads me to believe, that you ridicule others who can write because it obviously doesnt come naturally to you.

Also what you fail to realise is, here alot of the poetry (that is posted by members who wish to share) is writen thoughts and feelings, quite literally undressed, clear, simple expression.

you dont need to use metaphores, and completely maipulate your work into some thing other than it is, for example:


About His Person

Five pounds fifty in change, exactly,
a library card on its date of expiry.

A postcard stamped,
unwritten, but franked,

a pocket size diary slashed with a pencil
from March twenty-fourth to the first of April.

A brace of keys for a mortise lock,
an analogue watch, self winding, stopped.

A final demand
in his own hand,

a rolled up note of explanation
planted there like a spray carnation

but beheaded, in his fist.
A shopping list.

A givaway photgraph stashed in his wallet,
a kepsake banked in the heart of a locket.

no gold or silver,
but crowning one finger

a ring of white unweathered skin.
That was everything.

Simon Armitage


This poem is actually about a murder, the description of his posessions only is the only thing left to percieve his perosnailty.

Here on the forums its a sharing of experiences and a chance to better express them, NOT to dress it up into something else other than what it is.

If you have come here expecting to find talent of the likes of Wordsworth, Shakespeare, Allen Poe and the stated above, Armitage, you'd be very lucky.

I see alot of people here with alot of talent, however, belittling them, disrespecting them and abusing them is cerntainly not the way to go about helping them improve their work.

Like I've said to you before a little mutual respect goes along way, treat other how you wish to be treated in return.


Nah, that's not what I was hoping for at all, I find it quite amusing that you think you know my intentions through reading critique.

I need to get laid? How odd.

Now you suddenly feel the need to post GCSE level poetry, what's the purpose of that? Have you ever read poetry that is neither online, or in an anthology?

I haven't come here expecting any amazing talent, but some of the stuff here is so abysmally poor. They're sometimes hilarious to read, but that's about it.

Anyway, I've given examples on how his poetry could be improved, I still fail to see how that's not constructive. I also did the same in Dreaming Warrior's thread.


__________________

"All morons hate it when you call them a moron." - Holden Caulfield

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 02:54 PM
chillmeistergen is currently offline Click here to Send chillmeistergen a Private Message Find more posts by chillmeistergen Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Bardock42
Junior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

It's "bait", you weirdos.

"Bate" has it's own meaning entirely. Stop raping my beautiful, second language.


Also, criticism can be constructive and hostile at the same time.


__________________

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 03:04 PM
Bardock42 is currently offline Click here to Send Bardock42 a Private Message Find more posts by Bardock42 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
chillmeistergen
Restricted

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

Account Restricted

Yeah, I wondered why she was spelling it that way, but thought I may as well not split hairs.


__________________

"All morons hate it when you call them a moron." - Holden Caulfield

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 03:06 PM
chillmeistergen is currently offline Click here to Send chillmeistergen a Private Message Find more posts by chillmeistergen Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Jedireaper
PSN ID > DarkJedireaper

Gender: Male
Location: Manchester, UK

I see...


__________________

A long time have I waited for this, my little green friend!

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 03:14 PM
Jedireaper is currently offline Click here to Send Jedireaper a Private Message Find more posts by Jedireaper Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Get laid! YES!! your so anal is astounding! you emit huge amounts of passive-agressivness whilst still being blatantly rude.

Yes you did post some constructive critisim.... after being out-smarted by Critic.

yes GCSE level poetry, having had more time I'd have quite happily found some thing more obscure for you as an example.

I read alot of poetry and literature away from anthologies and the internet.
I dont recall Edgar Allen Poe being in the school curriculum, amoungst others which I cannot recall the names of right this second. I find myself amoungst the few that understand shakespeare without needing an explanation. However Chaucer I find a challenge. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

....considering this conversation, perhaps some one should open a poetry debate/disgussion thread and stop clogging XvampbenjiiX666's thread.

I'm finding this strangely curious, as for some one who first appears quite immature and anarchic, you have a good intellect.Seems a shame that you have to provoke hostilities to bring it out.


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 03:17 PM
Lara is currently offline Click here to Send Lara a Private Message Find more posts by Lara Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Bardock42
It's "bait", you weirdos.

"Bate" has it's own meaning entirely. Stop raping my beautiful, second language.


Also, criticism can be constructive and hostile at the same time.


I didnt say that it couldnt be I said there was a difference between ridicule and constructive critisim.

and I made a spelling mistake, who doesnt big whoop! roll eyes (sarcastic)


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 03:19 PM
Lara is currently offline Click here to Send Lara a Private Message Find more posts by Lara Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Bardock42
Junior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Lara
I didnt say that it couldnt be I said there was a difference between ridicule and constructive critisim.

and I made a spelling mistake, who doesnt big whoop! roll eyes (sarcastic)


You two constantly said "bate"...it was irritating.

And I am just saying that chill's post (hostile as it was), was also constructive (and certainly criticism). Sure, it probably annoyed Vampy, but he could feasibly learn something by listening to it.


Also, criticism can ridicule.


__________________

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 03:22 PM
Bardock42 is currently offline Click here to Send Bardock42 a Private Message Find more posts by Bardock42 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Oh it was critisim. constructive = comments on the good, the bad and what can be improved with suggestion of could be done to imporve it.

initially the only thing chill commented on was what was bad about it and that was the intro, body and conclusion of it. nothing more nothing less. It was negative feed back. = insult + injury.

any ways I'm bored of this now. Vampy...post some thing else Hun. big grin


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 03:38 PM
Lara is currently offline Click here to Send Lara a Private Message Find more posts by Lara Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Bardock42
Junior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Lara
Oh it was critisim. constructive = comments on the good, the bad and what can be improved with suggestion of could be done to imporve it.


initially the only thing chill commented on was what was bad about it and that was the intro, body and conclusion of it. nothing more nothing less. It was negative feed back. = insult + injury.

any ways I'm bored of this now. Vampy...post some thing else Hun. big grin


Frankly, I don't see much good with it. Except that he likes to express himself, which I guess is a fair trait for someone wanting to write poetry.

Chill, though not initially, did comment on what he thought was bad and did gave ideas how to improve it.

This is silly though, I agree, we should drop it (and note that chill as well as I did post constructive criticism).


__________________

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 03:47 PM
Bardock42 is currently offline Click here to Send Bardock42 a Private Message Find more posts by Bardock42 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

I am aware of that. yes


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 03:55 PM
Lara is currently offline Click here to Send Lara a Private Message Find more posts by Lara Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Jedireaper
PSN ID > DarkJedireaper

Gender: Male
Location: Manchester, UK

Guys can you move this to another thread.


__________________

A long time have I waited for this, my little green friend!

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 04:35 PM
Jedireaper is currently offline Click here to Send Jedireaper a Private Message Find more posts by Jedireaper Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Bardock42
Junior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Jedireaper
Guys can you move this to another thread.


Way to jump in when it is all over.


__________________

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 04:46 PM
Bardock42 is currently offline Click here to Send Bardock42 a Private Message Find more posts by Bardock42 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
XvampbenjiiX666
Commander Cadaver

Gender: Male
Location: Whiskey River

...i know i might start this up again but, the only thing that annoyed me was the fact that a certain bastard child came in here and quoted something i said in the religion thread, something that should have nothing to do with this...thats what i'm annoyed at...


__________________

Thank you Scythe. "Take one last look at your shining Heaven, Imperius. For soon, nothing of it shall remain, but my laughter..."

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 04:58 PM
XvampbenjiiX666 is currently offline Click here to Send XvampbenjiiX666 a Private Message Find more posts by XvampbenjiiX666 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Bardock42
Junior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
...i know i might start this up again but, the only thing that annoyed me was the fact that a certain bastard child came in here and quoted something i said in the religion thread, something that should have nothing to do with this...thats what i'm annoyed at...


Why should things you say not reflect on you everywhere?


__________________

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 05:00 PM
Bardock42 is currently offline Click here to Send Bardock42 a Private Message Find more posts by Bardock42 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
chillmeistergen
Restricted

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

Account Restricted

quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
...i know i might start this up again but, the only thing that annoyed me was the fact that a certain bastard child came in here and quoted something i said in the religion thread, something that should have nothing to do with this...thats what i'm annoyed at...


Well, it was quite relevant to your stance on rape. Although it wasn't in this thread that I quoted it.


__________________

"All morons hate it when you call them a moron." - Holden Caulfield

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 05:31 PM
chillmeistergen is currently offline Click here to Send chillmeistergen a Private Message Find more posts by chillmeistergen Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Sancty
-

Gender: Female
Location: -

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Lara
If you have come here expecting to find talent of the likes of Wordsworth, Shakespeare, Allen Poe and the stated above, Armitage, you'd be very lucky.
Why put Armitage in that list.



__________________


taft

Old Post Jul 31st, 2008 09:19 PM
Sancty is currently offline Click here to Send Sancty a Private Message Find more posts by Sancty Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
All times are UTC. The time now is 07:49 PM.
Pages (24): « First ... « 3 4 [5] 6 7 » ... Last »   Last Thread   Next Thread

Home » Misc » Artwork Forum » Poetry Corner » my new poems

Email this Page
Subscribe to this Thread
   Post New Thread  Post A Reply

Forum Jump:
Search by user:
 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON

Text-only version
 

< - KillerMovies.com - Forum Archive - Forum Rules >


© Copyright 2000-2006, KillerMovies.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by: vBulletin, copyright ©2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.