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my new poems
Started by: XvampbenjiiX666

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XvampbenjiiX666
Commander Cadaver

Gender: Male
Location: Whiskey River

thanks...i know where your coming from...most Satanist around here are those little goth kids in basements. alot of them believe in what Anton LaVey said what 'real Satnism' is. and i also know that publc posting of my work is alot more different from keeping them hidden from the world. i know that not everyone is going to like my work and i know i need alot of improvement on it...but i still post it because i love writing no matter what anyone says


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Thank you Scythe. "Take one last look at your shining Heaven, Imperius. For soon, nothing of it shall remain, but my laughter..."

Old Post Sep 17th, 2008 05:40 PM
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Bardock42
Junior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

As I said before, Anton LaVey makes some excellent points. His version of Satanism is very reasonable and understandable.

And it's good that you like writing, that's certainly a first step into producing great work...but, at least imo, it's a long way. And dark doesn't always mean blood and guts and the devil and fire...


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Old Post Sep 17th, 2008 05:54 PM
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XvampbenjiiX666
Commander Cadaver

Gender: Male
Location: Whiskey River

thats what i write...i have some that has nothing to do with that...i wrote one for my aunt who passed away in january...i have some love ones...some where they didnt make any sense but still wrote it...i just write like that...and LaVey was a fake...if you want true Satanism, look up the cathedral of the black goat


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Thank you Scythe. "Take one last look at your shining Heaven, Imperius. For soon, nothing of it shall remain, but my laughter..."

Old Post Sep 17th, 2008 05:58 PM
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Bardock42
Junior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
thats what i write...i have some that has nothing to do with that...i wrote one for my aunt who passed away in january...i have some love ones...some where they didnt make any sense but still wrote it...i just write like that...and LaVey was a fake...if you want true Satanism, look up the cathedral of the black goat
I don't want true Satanism. Worshipping Satan is silly to me. LaVey's Satanism makes sense on the other hand.


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Old Post Sep 17th, 2008 06:07 PM
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XvampbenjiiX666
Commander Cadaver

Gender: Male
Location: Whiskey River

hers the poem i wrote for my aunt..to show that i dont just write dark things...*wipes eyes* and yes i am really crying. i still cnt get over the fact that she died

my angel
your my angel, my life, my everything
my reason to believe in anything
it will hurt when your gone but i know you'll be there
i know you'll be the wind blowing threw my hair
you'll watch over me and everyone else here
and watch over us when we shed a tear
you'll make sure we all do the right thing for our lives
and make sure i dont have too many wives, hehe,
please dont worry about us and me
i've changed, i wont hurt myself you see
i just hope i'll see you again some day
my angel, my light for finding the way


__________________

Thank you Scythe. "Take one last look at your shining Heaven, Imperius. For soon, nothing of it shall remain, but my laughter..."

Old Post Sep 17th, 2008 06:09 PM
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The Grey Fox
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
your my angel, my life, my everything
*you're


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Old Post Sep 17th, 2008 06:21 PM
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chillmeistergen
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
hers the poem i wrote for my aunt..to show that i dont just write dark things...*wipes eyes* and yes i am really crying. i still cnt get over the fact that she died

my angel
your my angel, my life, my everything
my reason to believe in anything
it will hurt when your gone but i know you'll be there
i know you'll be the wind blowing threw my hair
you'll watch over me and everyone else here
and watch over us when we shed a tear
you'll make sure we all do the right thing for our lives
and make sure i dont have too many wives, hehe,
please dont worry about us and me
i've changed, i wont hurt myself you see
i just hope i'll see you again some day
my angel, my light for finding the way


I'm reluctant to fully critique something that obviously means a lot to you, but at least get the spelling right.


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Old Post Sep 17th, 2008 06:30 PM
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Bardock42
Junior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

I hope you don't take that the wrong way, but I took the liberty to correct the spelling. It obviously means much to you, so I thought if you show it to someone else, you might like it to have decent spelling.

My Angel

You are my angel, my life, my everything,
My reason to believe in anything.
It will hurt, when you are gone,
But I know you will be there.
I know you'll be the wind blowing through my hair.
You will watch over me, and everyone else here,
And watch over us when we shed a tear.
You will make sure we all do the right thing for our lives,
and make sure I don't have too many wives
(Hehe)
Please don't worry about us and me,
I've changed, I won't hurt myself, you see?
I just hope I'll see you again some day
My angel, my light for finding the way.


Those were just style changes, if you want I could give you some tips how I think you could improve the poem in rhyme and flow as well.


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Old Post Sep 17th, 2008 08:02 PM
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Scythe
The Goat

Gender: Unspecified
Location: In Her Kitty Arms

quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
thanks...i know where your coming from...most Satanist around here are those little goth kids in basements. alot of them believe in what Anton LaVey said what 'real Satnism' is. and i also know that publc posting of my work is alot more different from keeping them hidden from the world. i know that not everyone is going to like my work and i know i need alot of improvement on it...but i still post it because i love writing no matter what anyone says
LaVey wrote a good book on Satanism. It was realistic compared to the stuff that The Knights Of Templar would bring about. Satanism runs deep in history. It has been said that Benjamin Franklin was a member of the Hellfire Club, such things are dodged in American schools to possibly glorify good ole Franklin, so you understand why it is so taboo to speak of Satanism. To me it seems like the people who consider themselves Satanic, do it simply because it is out there, and "cool" to do so. So they do a night's worth of Wikipedia homework and go on through life living as perfect examples of fail.

As for you work, share as much of it as you'de like, however try to take the criticism a mass improvement, no matter how harsh it may be.


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Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 03:28 AM
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XvampbenjiiX666
Commander Cadaver

Gender: Male
Location: Whiskey River

now if they taught us that shit in school, i dont think i would skip...but LaVey's veiws were wrong. i on the other hand am a member of the cathedral of the black goat, founded by Brother Myrmydon...this is theistic Satanism, not Laveyan where everyone just thinks Satanism is worshipping yourself and that the Dark Lord is just an entity...and i only take the criticism like that because some of the came from some people that continually start something no matter where i post


__________________

Thank you Scythe. "Take one last look at your shining Heaven, Imperius. For soon, nothing of it shall remain, but my laughter..."

Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 09:58 AM
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Bardock42
Junior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
now if they taught us that shit in school, i dont think i would skip...but LaVey's veiws were wrong. i on the other hand am a member of the cathedral of the black goat, founded by Brother Myrmydon...this is theistic Satanism, not Laveyan where everyone just thinks Satanism is worshipping yourself and that the Dark Lord is just an entity...and i only take the criticism like that because some of the came from some people that continually start something no matter where i post
What was wrong about LaVey's views?


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Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 10:06 AM
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XvampbenjiiX666
Commander Cadaver

Gender: Male
Location: Whiskey River

it was all fake...he wasnt a Satanist. he claimed that he was, but yet he worshipped himself as a god, which to me sounds like an athiest


__________________

Thank you Scythe. "Take one last look at your shining Heaven, Imperius. For soon, nothing of it shall remain, but my laughter..."

Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 10:17 AM
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Bardock42
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Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
it was all fake...he wasnt a Satanist. he claimed that he was, but yet he worshipped himself as a god, which to me sounds like an athiest


He was Satanist in that he worshipped what Satan from the Bible stood for (to him). He worshipped the concept, not the person, as the person pretty much doesn't exist.

Theistic Satanism is just as bogus to me as Christianity, no prove of anything and some silly rituals added to that lack of knowledge. Silly.


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Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 10:22 AM
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XvampbenjiiX666
Commander Cadaver

Gender: Male
Location: Whiskey River

its all a different class of athiest to me...and why go big with it? im really, what Satanist would want t be on the cover of the rolling stone?


__________________

Thank you Scythe. "Take one last look at your shining Heaven, Imperius. For soon, nothing of it shall remain, but my laughter..."

Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 10:26 AM
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Bardock42
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Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
its all a different class of athiest to me...and why go big with it? im really, what Satanist would want t be on the cover of the rolling stone?


You probably would. I'd say it's envy speaking.

Besides, it is a form of atheism...doesn't make it bad. And it's still also Satanism.


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Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 10:29 AM
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XvampbenjiiX666
Commander Cadaver

Gender: Male
Location: Whiskey River

i actually dont like rolling stone. and i dont envy LaVey, i just hate him for the mockery he has caused the Dark Lord


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Thank you Scythe. "Take one last look at your shining Heaven, Imperius. For soon, nothing of it shall remain, but my laughter..."

Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 10:34 AM
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Bardock42
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Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves

quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
i actually dont like rolling stone. and i dont envy LaVey, i just hate him for the mockery he has caused the Dark Lord


Silly.

Besides, he worships his concept, how is that mocking?


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Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 10:47 AM
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Ushgarak
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Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK

Co-Admin

There comes a point where repeateded criticism has become nothing but deliberate mockery, so please do be careful not to cross that line.

Thanks.


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Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 02:45 PM
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Dyno
Authority

Gender: Male
Location: Glasgow

quote: (post)
Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
hers the poem i wrote for my aunt..to show that i dont just write dark things...*wipes eyes* and yes i am really crying. i still cnt get over the fact that she died

my angel
your my angel, my life, my everything
my reason to believe in anything
it will hurt when your gone but i know you'll be there
i know you'll be the wind blowing threw my hair
you'll watch over me and everyone else here
and watch over us when we shed a tear
you'll make sure we all do the right thing for our lives
and make sure i dont have too many wives, hehe,
please dont worry about us and me
i've changed, i wont hurt myself you see
i just hope i'll see you again some day
my angel, my light for finding the way



I prefer it to your other ones, and I can sympathise with the story behind it,

but it seems very forced and as if you are just forcing it to rhyme and creating the story from the rhyming words, the story is the most important part, the rhyming means nothing really.


I can't say much, I have wrote little amounts of poetry, and the one I posted wasn't exactly amazing.


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Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 03:09 PM
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The Grey Fox
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Satanism and Christianity are practically the same thing, just taking a different stance on the stories. I seriously doubt the Bible is anything but fiction, so LaVey's philosophies and stance on 'Satanism' seem like a much more logical choice, by taking the ideas used a Biblical character and turning them into a genuinely acceptable way of living your life.


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Old Post Sep 18th, 2008 03:13 PM
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