KMC Forums - The year is 789 Anno Domini...

Europe is at peace compared to the turbulence of the fall of Rome some centuries earlier. Our view shifts to a small English coastal village, where children play, men work in the fields and smithies, and women sew clothing and boil various things, not all of which are food (as is English tradition). Things seem so beautifully peaceful, like a romanticized, idealized, utterly anti-historical depiction of medieval Europe from a 1950s movie. But then, out of the mist, a strange boat appears. Running forth are huge, incredibly intimidating men with beards of gold and dance moves unheard of anywhere in the world. One foolish Englishman accidentally bumps into one of these awesome Northmen, who then grabs him by the arm like the English "man" is just a woman, and gives him an incredibly threatening stare. The English...person loses control of his bowels, and runs off like a little byatch. The Northmen pillage and plunder, doing even Bragi, god of partying, proud, and dance upon the corpses of their victims while strange music plays.

After the raid is over, and the entire village has been burned to the ground, and the mysterious dancing Northmen have sailed back to their icy homeland, with plunder and booty (women just can't resist the ol' Viking charm) aplenty, the priest giving the funeral for the many dead villagers finishes his prayer with "And Lord, save us from the fury of the TECHNO VIKINGS."

Can Europe stop these awesome dancing machines? Can anyone? What about the Islamic world? Even China or India?

God help us all.

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"Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of the women." - the prophet Mohammed, single-handed inventor of terrorism, pedophilia and moon-god worship