Jeremy: [on seeing a polar bear with its cubs] Oh its got babies. [turns to the camera] Sweeeeeeeeeet! [voiceover] Not being Attenborough, I couldn't think of anything better to say.
Top Gear: Vietnam special (December 28, 2008) [S.3]
[Introducing the special from the studio]
Jeremy: Hello and and welcome to a sea of disappointed faces. Because these people have driven all the way down here today only to find the show isn't actually coming from here today.
James: No, it is in fact coming from six thousand miles away, here [points on map], in Vietnam.
Richard: Yes, we were told to meet in the centre of Saigon and await further instructions.
Jeremy: So, sit back, enjoy the ride.
[Reading the first part of the challenge]
Jeremy: Since you can buy Rolexes here for a fiver and lunch for 50p, you're standing in the world's biggest Pound shop. You should therefore have no trouble at all buying some wheels for fifteen million ðồng.
Jeremy: [voiceover] Delighted that for once the producers had been generous, we headed for the showrooms. [out loud] I love having inches of money! [voiceover] But our joy was short lived as James discovered when he tried to buy a bog-standard Fiat 500.
James: [pointing to car] Can you tell me how much?
Salesman: Uh, five hun- five hun'ret and sixty million Việt ðồng.
James: Five hundred and sixty million?
Salesman: Yeah
James: How much is fifteen million ðồng?
Salesman: Ooh, just about one thousand U.S. dollar.
[meeting up after finding the money they've been given isn't in fact worth very much]
Jeremy: I'll tell you the problem, is cars only came to Vietnam a few years ago, ok — four or five years ago? They've got the two hundred percent import tax on them, they haven't had time — in the four or five years since they've been here — to get cheap.
Richard: So there are no bangers.
James: Everything's expensive and we're actually quite poor.
if you want to continue my posting of top gear quotes press 1 if you want to be given the page im getting the quotes from press 3 if you enjoy the automated message gag press 3 if you think i should stop with the quotes and the automated messages press 4
[Reading the main challenge]
James: You'll now attempt to achieve in eight days what the Americans failed to achieve in ten years: get from the south of Vietnam to the north. You will ride from [laughs] here in Saigon to Halon city, near the Chinese border, which is one thousand miles away.
[Jeremy looks daunted]
James: That is excellent!
Richard: Wow!
James: That is the best challenge we've ever had!
Richard: That's fa- I'm going. I'm getting - Get his bike started. [runs back to his bike]
James: Honestly, that is fantastic. [leaves too]
Jeremy: I just- I can't do that. I can't do- Guys, I can't do that! I can't ride a bike. I'm sorry, this is stupid. [points to crew behind the camera] And I'm not joking, it is - I don't know who came up with this, but it's daft.
Richard: I think it's brilliant! I'm more excited than anything we've ever done.
James: I can't believe you're being a misery-guts.
Jeremy: Because it's a thousand miles in the rainy season...!
Richard: I know, that's the best thing about it!
Jeremy: ...a thousand miles in the rainy season in a country with not very good roads, and I can't ride a bike!
[Jeremy is having lunch while his scooter is being repaired]
Jeremy: [picks up a piece of meat with his chopsticks] You look at this and you think "what noise did this make when it was alive"? Did it go moooo, or did it go tweet tweet tweet, or did it go neigh! [eats it] I think it went ruff! rrrrr-ruf! But it's delicious.
[Richard and James are having lunch somewhere else]
James: [looking at the menu] Uhm, well I think this thing here is a sort of squid thing with some... weird paste
Richard: [looking unhappy] Don't like squid.
James: Ok, well you can have crab with...
Richard: Don't like crab.
James: Razor clams!
Richard: Don't like clams.
God, some of you guys are just crybabies. I'm just happy to be seeing Green Day again...for the 8th time. They can play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for an hour and I wouldn't give a shit.
KMC Community Forums
Jul 7th, 2009 03:34 PM
