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Home » Movie Franchises » Star Trek » James Kirk vs. Will Riker...who'd win?

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Will Riker 3 16.67%
James Kirk 15 83.33%
Total: 18 votes 100%
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James Kirk vs. Will Riker...who'd win?
Started by: CadoAngelus

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CadoAngelus
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Good Job its not "Hide and Q" Riker... Kirk might lose then...


is that the EP where Riker gets an opportunity to become a Q?


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Old Post Feb 14th, 2011 05:09 PM
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Sadako of Girth
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Indeed. He demonstrates a few abilities like destroying/vanishing weird pig faced French solider looking dudes with beards that Q has pulled out of his ass.
He threw the bridge crew back onto the bridge of the Enterprise.

In fact his only flaw was in bringing Wesley Crusher back to life after he was bayonetted through the back/heart by a heroic pig solidier dude thing..

That just was inconsiderate of Riker to all of ST fandom.


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Last edited by Sadako of Girth on Feb 14th, 2011 at 05:46 PM

Old Post Feb 14th, 2011 05:43 PM
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Robtard
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Had Kirk been picked to don the mantle of a Q, I think the first use of his god-powers would have been to instantly and simultaneously have sex and bring to orgasm every single female of every single species in the universe, the mirror-mirror universe, liquid space and all dimensions in between. Thereby creating another Big Bang and creating the Kirkverse, a universe where Kirk is 'The One Above All Others.'

Which is likely why the Q didn't offer it to him, he would have out-played them. Check and mate.


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Last edited by Robtard on Feb 14th, 2011 at 10:19 PM

Old Post Feb 14th, 2011 10:16 PM
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Sadako of Girth
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Holy shit. 100% true in all likelihood.

I definitely think that something like that must have occured at some point:


An awful lot of species in ST from all over the galaxy that were humanoid , that I wasn't sure were originally humanoid.
And I think that thats a possible explanation of why Klingons looked human in TOS Kirk's time too.

Kirk + Time Travelling a lot + Female aliens = Kirk as DNA blueprint all over galaxy.


We can only conclude that Kirk just didnt fancy the gaseous or energy beings, Species 8472 or that big pregnant Space slug that Picard accidentally killed that time.... which is fair dos.


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Last edited by Sadako of Girth on Feb 15th, 2011 at 11:37 AM

Old Post Feb 15th, 2011 11:31 AM
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Robtard
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They actually retconed in the fourth season of Star Trek:Enterprise why the Klingons in the Original Series looked human.

Episodes: Borderland, Cold Station 12 and The Augments set the premise (3 of the better episodes too)

Episodes: Affliction and Divergence explain the Human-Klingon condition of the 23rd century.

I have the top three, if you're interested. Though you could probably get all five online.


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Last edited by Robtard on Feb 15th, 2011 at 06:06 PM

Old Post Feb 15th, 2011 06:01 PM
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Sadako of Girth
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Nice one I'd hear the explanation, just hadn't stuck with Enterprise long enough to have seen it back in the day... I'll check em out on YT. Cheers.


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Old Post Feb 15th, 2011 06:13 PM
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Robtard
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****ing youtube has everything.


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Old Post Feb 15th, 2011 06:15 PM
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CadoAngelus
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So the Klingon-Augment Plague was actually Kirk getting his polygamous thing on around the multi-verse.

Interesting concept. I think it's sound.


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Old Post Feb 15th, 2011 06:24 PM
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Robtard
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Thy cup runneth over (with Kirk's seed).


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Old Post Feb 15th, 2011 06:34 PM
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Sadako of Girth
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No wonder there was angry Klingon captain after angry Klingon captain trying to kick Kirk's ass.


Fighting them may be how he first discovered how mating rituals were initiated...
I bet the classic Klingon chat-up line "Eat my Qagh, you dirty spaceb!tch!" was accidentally used too...!!


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Old Post Feb 15th, 2011 10:46 PM
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Sadako of Girth
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Robtard
Thy cup runneth over (with Kirk's seed).


Space seed? stick out tongue


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Old Post Feb 15th, 2011 10:48 PM
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Robtard
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Space seed? stick out tongue


Khan-nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!


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Old Post Feb 16th, 2011 12:17 AM
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Sadako of Girth
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There likely a subtley hidden dimension to that too:

Not only was Khan's hate fulled by the marooning and the deaths of his crew and wife, but that wife was attractive, short miniskirted, and served on Jim Kirk's ship meaning with upmost certainty that Kirk had boldly gone where no man gone before, around that time.

And the subsequent 15 years at Ceti-Alpha was probably plenty of time for that to come out in.....that definitely would have riled Khan further.


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Last edited by Sadako of Girth on Feb 16th, 2011 at 09:48 AM

Old Post Feb 16th, 2011 09:46 AM
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Robtard
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Khan: So, you'd you date before you met me?

Maria: Oh, you know, just some guys.

Khan: Guys? Guys from the ship?

Maria: Yeah, some guys from the ship.

Khan: Who?

Maria: Oh, a few Ensigns and one or two others, you know how it goes. I had a crush on Sulu for a stint, but he never gave me a second look.

Khan: Other two who, do I know them?

Maria: Chekov, but that was only for a week. He kept crying after sex.

Khan: That weak and filthy Cossack, he doesn't deserve to smell my shits. The other?

Maria: *mumbles* James.

Khan: Kirk!?

Maria: *nods*

Khan: FROM HELLS HEART I STAB AT THE, KIRK!


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Last edited by Robtard on Feb 16th, 2011 at 09:59 PM

Old Post Feb 16th, 2011 09:53 PM
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Sadako of Girth
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laughing out loud

I bet that was when he shoved Maria in the brain slug tank in rage....

...and that would explain how he blamed Kirk for her death!

It all fits!!


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Last edited by Sadako of Girth on Feb 16th, 2011 at 10:21 PM

Old Post Feb 16th, 2011 10:17 PM
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CadoAngelus
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Robtard
Khan: FROM HELLS HEART I STAB AT THE, KIRK!

It wouldn't surprise me if Kirk used his Q powers to go back in time, kill Herman Melville and write Moby Dick himself just so Khan would utter his written words...


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Old Post Feb 16th, 2011 11:55 PM
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Sadako of Girth
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Anyone disagreeing with the possibility of that, would have to have Spock explain to them the concept of the Human Ego....































.....Particularly a Shatner sized Ego.


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Old Post Feb 17th, 2011 12:06 AM
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-Pr-
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Robtard
Khan: So, you'd you date before you met me?

Maria: Oh, you know, just some guys.

Khan: Guys? Guys from the ship?

Maria: Yeah, some guys from the ship.

Khan: Who?

Maria: Oh, a few Ensigns and one or two others, you know how it goes. I had a crush on Sulu for a stint, but he never gave me a second look.

Khan: Other two who, do I know them?

Maria: Chekov, but that was only for a week. He kept crying after sex.

Khan: That weak and filthy Cossack, he doesn't deserve to smell my shits. The other?

Maria: *mumbles* James.

Khan: Kirk!?

Maria: *nods*

Khan: FROM HELLS HEART I STAB AT THE, KIRK!


laughing


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Old Post Feb 18th, 2011 03:29 PM
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Old Post Feb 22nd, 2011 07:36 PM
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StephenJondrew
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Without a doubt Kirk would one. Riker has had is fair share of fist-fights, but he's a sissy compared to Kirk! big grin


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Old Post Mar 20th, 2011 04:21 PM
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