- You know, I think that Gopher software we bought may have been stolen.
- What makes you think that?
- Well, I stumbled across a demo while I was deleting rejected files. The end credits on this film about a guy with a hat says that it was made by someone named George Lucas. I thought he might have meant the old Flannelled One. Do you know what he's talking about?
Greedo: [In Huttese; subtitled] Going somewhere, Solo?
Han Solo: Yes, Greedo. I was just going to see your boss. Tell Jabba I've got his Gophermallets and his money.
Greedo: It's too late. You should have paid him when you had the chance. Jabba's put a price on your head so large, every Gopher hunter in the galaxy will be looking for you. I'm lucky I found you first.
Han Solo: Yeah, but this time I've got the money.
Greedo *petting gopher*: If you give it to me, I might forget I found you.
Han Solo: [stealthily going for his blaster] I don't have it *with* me. Tell Jabba...
Greedo: Jabba's through with you. He has no use for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser.
Han Solo: Even I get boarded sometimes. Do you think I had a choice?
Greedo: You can tell that to Jabba. He may only take your ship.
Han Solo: Over your dead Gopher!
Greedo: That's the idea... I've been looking forward to this for a long time.
Han Solo: Yeah, I'll bet you have.
[Han blasts Greedo's Gopher, sending its little brains all over the cantina wall.... then heads out leaving its smoking carcass, its wisping trails of carbonised gopher brains hanging wispily in the air, tossing the bartender a coin]
Han Solo: Sorry about the mess.
- Where are you going? Where did you get those gophers?
- These aren't the gophers you arevlooking for.
- These aren't the gophers we are looking for.
- We can go about our gopher business.
- You can go about your gopher business...
- Dig along.
- Dig along
Governor Tarkin: Obi-Wan Kenobi? What makes you think so?
Darth Vader: A tremor in my caged gopher. The last time he did that was in the presence of his previous owner.
Governor Tarkin: Surely he must be dead by now.
Darth Vader: Don't underestimate the love for gophers.
Governor Tarkin: The Gopher Lovers are extinct, their animated versions have gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of the gopher lovers.
- Tell me, young Luke, what brings you out this far?
- This little gopher. I think he's searching for his former master. I've never seen such devotion in a gopher before. Ah, he squeaks he is the property of a Carl Spackler. Is he a relative of yours? Do you know what he's talking about?
- Carl Spackler... Spackler... Now, that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time.
- He keeps repeating I found it, I foundt it
- Found what?
- The gopher
- The gopher, it's here? Where is it? We gotta go and find it...
- What are you talking about
- It's the gopher, he was in Caddyshack, we gotta go rescue it.
- The ability to blow up a golf course is insignificant next to the power of one CGI gopher.
- Don't try to frighten us with your animation ways, Lord Lucas. Your sad devotion to revamping the Indy franchise with CGI gophers has alienated you from your fan base and has inspired to you to make another gopher rich seq....
- I find your lack of faith dusturbing...
[R2-D2 and The Gopher are playing the holographic golf game aboard the Millennium Falcon]
Gopher: Squeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!!!!!
C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
Han Solo: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Gopher.
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
Han Solo: That's 'cause droids don't knock people's golfballs back out of their holes when they lose. Gophers are known to do that.
Gopher: Squeeeeeeeeak.
C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Gopher win.
Luke: Come on. Why don't you take a look around. You know what's about to happen, what they're up against. They could use a animator like you, you're turning your back on them.
Han Solo: What good is a gopher if you ain't around to pat it? Besides, more gophers in Indy5 is not my idea of great animation. It's more like, dementia.
Luke: [angry] Okay. Take care of your real gophers then, Han. I guess that's what you're best at isn't it?
Han Solo: [as Luke walks away] Hey, Luke. May the Gopher be with you.
Yoda: Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I silenced Gophers. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be sliced. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked up through putt-ing holes... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement....heh. CGI rodents.... Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.
Darth Vader: What is thy bidding, my master?
Emperor: There is a great disturbance in movie land.
Darth Vader: I have felt it.
Emperor: We have a new enemy, the film maker who once created Indiana Jones.
Darth Vader: Yes, my master
Emperor: The buddy of Spielberg must not start up another sequel.
Darth Vader: He's just enthusiastic about the possibilities of CGI. And Gary Kurtz can no longer help him.
Emperor: The Gophers live strong in him. The creator of Skywalker must not make Indy 5.
Darth Vader: If he could be turned, he will become a powerful ally.
Emperor: Yes. He would be a great asset. Can it be done?
Darth Vader: He will join us in Gopher preservation or die, my master.
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Nov 14th, 2010 06:08 PM
