Why? It had its heart in the right place. But the action sucked. Indy using his whip in the Area 51 scene was laughable. Bouf was lame.
I personally didn't mind the alien conspiracy. But enough with the crappy GG! Animatronics holds the key to cinematic realism and believability. If you're gonna make a sequel to a classic franchise. Honor the vibe and essence of the the original films. Leave the spectacle until the end. And even then don't go all Lord of the Rings on the public.
What was that movie where three guys get taken and one makes a desperate attempt to escape. Fire in the Sky. Those aliens looked sweet.
Freakin gophers laughin! This ain't Caddyshack! Screw you LucasSlashSpielberg. Screw you in your stupid asses. Cause that's what you did to poor Indy. Indy didn't deserve to get screwed like that by you two. You two suck monkey balls.
Blanchet didn'y hold well with me. Even with tight leather pants I don't wanna do her! She's like an artistic aunt who pompously pouts her way around the backyard at family gatherings. She didn't look like she could take a punch to the jaw. Nor had ever.
That Gopher. A crap sequel and one of the signs of the Apocalypse and I'm happy I'll witness it in my lifetime. Screw you and the stupid horse you shagged all night. Screw you Lucas/Berg and all your stupid asses/
Remember when VISION was required to make beautiful movies? Not millions of coin. Not a hundred Indians working on CG ants. Not a douchbag teen heartthrob filling shoes. (and Phoenix doesn't count!)
The next Indy will be in blurry darkened 3D. Just too intensify your already growing headache. The digital quality so crisp you can see the fibres on Indy's felt pants. The Gopher will make a return, never looking better.
A zombie Hitler in a Mecha robot suit blasting ancient Mayan ruins while Shia shoves the Spear of Destiny through his black heart.