Gender: Male Location: Drinking gasoline. Pissing napalm.
AC #260 - What. The. F*ck?
When I first came to KMC, I had practically zero knowledge of Pre-Crisis Continuity. In order to remedy that, and especially to be able to debate Pre-Crisis Superman better, a while ago I decided to begin reading Superman stories beginning from the Golden Age and ending with about 1978-9 (World's Finest, Superman, AC, Superboy & the Legion.) Today, I read the most disturbing comics story ever....which is saying something considering that just yesterday I was forced to read Mai-Chan's Daily Life.
That story? Action Comics #260. For those of you who have read it, please, feel free to comment on this post and sympathize with me, as I am deeply disturbed. For those who have not read it - fear not, for I feel equally compelled to share with you the plot of this twisted and highly demented tale.
Like the cover suggests, Superman meets a super-powered woman - in this case from the fourth dimension - and falls in love. After she rescues Lois from a tornado, Superman arrives and they go on a...super-date!
Look, isn't that sweet? She's thinking that his eyes are beautiful. Pay attention to this part - it will become severely disturbing all too soon, I promise.
Their date progresses as they visit Egypt and Milkwaukee (because if anything will impress a gal and get her to put out, its visiting Wisconsin, amirite?), where the ardent Superman overtakes the Maid, and they share a kiss:
In an effort to be a complete bastard to Lois, he lets her know that he plans on proposing to Mighty Maid and wants her to be there for the lulz (and also to report the story):
As you can see, Mighty Maid and Superman share another passionate kiss, after which Superman makes fun of Lois for being a woman because, well, he's a bastard. Anyway, as you can see, Superman has decided to leave Earth with his new fiancee and live in the fourth-dimension with her. But as they go to leave this plane of existence....
OH NO! OH SWEET JESUS NO!! NOT YOUR COUSIN, NOT YOUR FREAKIN' COUSIN??? Superman reveals it was all a trap. Oh, god, and Ackbar hadn't even been invented yet to warn us all.
I hope all of you are reclicking on the pictures of them kissing now, and of Supergirl-as-Mighty-Maid thinking to herself that her own cousin's eyes are beautiful.
Very disturbing, yes? But wait, channeling the dearly departed Billy Mayes, there's more!! Unwilling to leave their story at the level of fail and incestuousness it was already at, DC felt compelled to disturb me, and hopefully all of you even more. After the plot wraps up and everything's back to normal, Superman leaves us with this insightful gem:
That's right. Supergirl is 15 in this story. Also notice that the impressionable young Kara has apparently fallen for her cousin, calling her time as Mighty Maid 'thrilling' and sheds tears as she looks longingly into her cousin's 'beautiful' eyes.
In fact, given all this information, I'm forced to ask what else Superman did besides making out with his own underage cousin that wasn't pictured on-panel? I mean, Superman is so rockin' the pedosmile and sideways glance here:
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And what about when he's thinking about how young and (presumably) how hot she is:
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With the thumbs up and shit-eating grin, you know he's looking at the readers and telling us, "That's right. I hit that shit."
I hardly post in this subforum, but dude...this called for an exception. On a scale of 1 to 10, exactly how frightening and/or completely arousing is this??
Have you never seen the "we can't marry because Kryptonian law forbids cousins intermarrying" scan before?
PC comics were all kinds of messed up to the point where you assume it was because they targeted a disturbed small niche audience rather than the wide audience that truly enjoyed them.
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“Where the longleaf pines are whispering
to him who loved them so.
Where the faint murmurs now dwindling
echo o’er tide and shore."
-A Grave Epitaph in Santa Rosa County, Florida; I wish I could remember the man's name.
To play massive devils advocate here - but the reason that incestuous relations are considered wrong is because of the following.
1.) Religious accounts of morals
2.) The potential consequences of interbreeding with direct relatives.
The first reason, can be refuted on the grounds its pretty question begging, especially for an Atheist or an Agnostic. So I will disregard it.
The second claims that we are biologically conditioned by evolution to consider incestuous interbreeding as wrong, because of the lack of variation it will cause to the gene pool, and the possibility of reproducing young, with faulty genes - both conflict with are the rules of natural selection.
So I claim, incestuousness is considered wrong, because of the rules of natural selection.
So at face value, we should prescribe the same values to Kryptonian morality -
however, how the hell do we know evolution occurred via the same pathwayon Krypton, as on earth ?
In other words, if incestuous breeding doesn't cause any natural selective problems of Krypton, then why should their incestuous relation be considered wrong ?
This whole absolute notion of incests being wrong, is a bit superficial in my opinion.
Any way, I'm off to crack one off, to a picture of my cousin
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Last edited by Cartesian Doubt on May 12th, 2010 at 04:40 PM
You have some fine points but I'll point out that it is heavily implied that Krypton's evolutionary pathway was convergent with Earth's (or rather the other way around since humanity is younger IIRC).
Also she's 15. A hard 15, but 15 nonetheless.
What's your view on the Westermarck Effect?
__________________
“Where the longleaf pines are whispering
to him who loved them so.
Where the faint murmurs now dwindling
echo o’er tide and shore."
-A Grave Epitaph in Santa Rosa County, Florida; I wish I could remember the man's name.
aah, yes.. what wonders those printed WWII propagandas are.. lol.. "slap a jap".. if superman says so, i will be more than willing to be slap happy.. lol..