Mistress Death wouldn't be interested in a pretty boy (Kirk) or hairy idiot (Herc). We've seen the beings that try to win her favor : Thanos, Walker, Mephisto, etc... and looks don't factor into it. Hell, Thanos gave her the Universe at least twice and she still toyed with his feelings before giving in to him.
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..even the outer hells are indifferent matters for they bow only to potent and archaic Nodens.
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I don't know why some of you are going on about being right and winning. Rob and Impediment were in on this gag because I PMed them. Silent and Rao PMed me and figured I changed the post. I highly doubt anybody thought Quan made the post, but simply played along just for the lulz.