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X-men Character Pitch
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KingD19
Shai-Gen's Enigmatic Wong

Gender: Male
Location: Land of the Lost

Lol what was that?

Old Post May 20th, 2013 05:49 AM
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SevenShackles
Missa pro defunctis

Gender: Male
Location: MAD MAD World

Decided on any changes rox?


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Old Post May 20th, 2013 07:01 AM
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rox
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: United States

quote: (post)
Originally posted by SevenShackles
Decided on any changes rox?


I have I will post my backstory tomorrow. It involves his fight with the hulk being a bad misunderstanding causing him to comeback after he has matured with his powers being rivaling the hulks but being weaker during there earlier fight. Also I will have him in a deliema between lyal to emma or professor x


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Old Post May 21st, 2013 02:36 AM
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Salthasha
Senior Member

Gender:
Location: United States

it was an example of a back story, one that doesn't implement near omega level powers constantly, its a story that takes advantage of ethnic history ties into discrimination and provides the primal abilities of a super hero. it was an example nothing more sorry so many could not follow.

Old Post May 22nd, 2013 01:15 PM
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Wei Phoenix
One-Eyed Dragon Of Oshu

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Southern Cross

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Salthasha
it was an example of a back story, one that doesn't implement near omega level powers constantly, its a story that takes advantage of ethnic history ties into discrimination and provides the primal abilities of a super hero. it was an example nothing more sorry so many could not follow.


It was stereotypical and racist if not insensitive.


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Old Post May 22nd, 2013 04:13 PM
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rox
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: United States

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Salthasha
it was an example of a back story, one that doesn't implement near omega level powers constantly, its a story that takes advantage of ethnic history ties into discrimination and provides the primal abilities of a super hero. it was an example nothing more sorry so many could not follow.


My character pitch is to introduce a young wet-behind the ear character who is new to the world of hate around. His unique freakish strength at his age was to make for a far more dramtic drama since everyone would be instantly afarid of him and hate him. Also his fiight with the hulk was to be a misunderstanding causes him to hurt someone after trying to be hero when he did not need to be.Therfore he would go into self exile until being recruited by emma than having him have to turn on her because of her wanting to hurt people reguardless of mutant or human.

The story you posted is more based on his skin color. With my version, it just so happens he is black nothing more. Need some positive black characters that are powerful(i am black if anyone is wondering) but not a sterotype like what you just posted.


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Old Post May 23rd, 2013 04:41 AM
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The Big O
The Original O

Gender: Male
Location: In the midst of it all

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Salthasha
Problem is he is like superman, that's a little overdone. Id rather look into his nature Ok he is African American, what could have transformed him is he a mutant?
Maybe celestial bodies like the moon and sun have nothing to do with his power but instead maybe he is an answer to an ancient prophecy given about one who would come from the past with all his peoples woes and lead the oppressed to the homeland and its dream.
Seeing a rare artifact The Spear of Sumahsra from the Manhyia Palace while on sebatical in Kumasi. Overcome you lose consciousnesses and your mutant ability is triggered by the symbol of your family. In a dream you are reunited with your ancestors and see the tragedy that would become your people through slave trade and colonization. The faces and color of skin blur as you begin to see signs of mutant hate and genocide, out of the fog of the past you see a strong warrior walking in the jungle a large black cat beside him. He looks down at you offers his hand, as you take his hand he lifts you off the floor, looking intently into your eyes he simply says in the ancient tongue of your people "Guard them you people, succeed where the past failed, take the spear of justice into your heart, and let it guide you with the purpose of good".
You come to leaning on a bronze statue of a warrior named Sumahsra and there is a burning above your heart, what looks like a deep scratch resembles a spear.
You run faster than normal speeds, capable of great physical prowess able to leap like a panther, and strong enough to lift a car, your spatial awareness acts constantly allowing you near danger sense perception.
Your metabolic rate forever altered and your body is capable of carrying greater amounts of oxygen allowing you feats of endurance that are superhuman. You heal most wounds within a night, and emit an empathic aura of fear when engaging combat, through time you have learned to control this to allow it to target rather than broadcasting it solely in a radius.
A strong pull lured you to westchester New York where you met another ororo Monroe here she and a bald man in a wheel chair offered you help but asked you to work as a silent member in third world countries with three others in an attempt to subvert threats that might challenge the World at large.
I don't see anything relevant to Rox's character being black. Yeah, you mentioned slave trade but what has that got to do with Rox's character? Many nationalities were abused and misused in slave trades, not just blacks. You shouldn't just make up something and say it's related to "ethnic history" and discrimination just to try to make a character passable. That's borderline ignorant and DEFINITELY offensive.

Nothing makes sense because we have no idea who this "Suma-whatever" is, what's his story, why he's important, and why he doesn't show up to EVERY OTHER black person. It shouldn't matter that the character is black.

Maybe you didn't mean it the way it came off but it was really ofgfensive to blacks. It seemed like a sterotype of the highest form simply because you wanted the character to have super powers because he's black and nothing more.


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In the mean time, I never DID see that anime where I unintentionally got my name from. Is it any good

Old Post May 23rd, 2013 04:37 PM
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SevenShackles
Missa pro defunctis

Gender: Male
Location: MAD MAD World

quote: (post)
Originally posted by The Big O
I don't see anything relevant to Rox's character being black. Yeah, you mentioned slave trade but what has that got to do with Rox's character? Many nationalities were abused and misused in slave trades, not just blacks. You shouldn't just make up something and say it's related to "ethnic history" and discrimination just to try to make a character passable. That's borderline ignorant and DEFINITELY offensive.

Nothing makes sense because we have no idea who this "Suma-whatever" is, what's his story, why he's important, and why he doesn't show up to EVERY OTHER black person. It shouldn't matter that the character is black.

Maybe you didn't mean it the way it came off but it was really ofgfensive to blacks. It seemed like a sterotype of the highest form simply because you wanted the character to have super powers because he's black and nothing more.

This guy knows what he is talking about.


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GAMMA GIDEON

Respect: -Dynamo 5 -Greed -Noh-Varr/Marvel Boy

Old Post May 23rd, 2013 08:18 PM
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Salthasha
Senior Member

Gender:
Location: United States

the relevancy as you must have somehow missed it is tying an idea of the bigotry of yesterday to the bigotry mutants face today the ethnic issue is drawing strength form the culture of an ancestry.
The idea is not racist and only a simpleton would perceive it to be so, no more than tying Orroro monroe as a godess to the inhabitants of Africa circa 1970.

Give me a break with the bigotry nonsense, anyone reading that story would see what i was driving was a tone down of roxxes superman. An alternative to the uber powerful, how ignorant are you people to call that bigotry. So ridiculously stupid.
Whatever i see i am probably dealing with adolescents here so I will drop it.

Old Post Jun 1st, 2013 04:18 AM
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Salthasha
Senior Member

Gender:
Location: United States

I don't see anything relevant to Rox's character being black. Yeah, you mentioned slave trade but what has that got to do with Rox's character? Many nationalities were abused and misused in slave trades, not just blacks. You shouldn't just make up something and say it's related to "ethnic history" and discrimination just to try to make a character passable. That's borderline ignorant and DEFINITELY offensive.

Nothing makes sense because we have no idea who this "Suma-whatever" is, what's his story, why he's important, and why he doesn't show up to EVERY OTHER black person. It shouldn't matter that the character is black.

Maybe you didn't mean it the way it came off but it was really ofgfensive to blacks. It seemed like a sterotype of the highest form simply because you wanted the character to have super powers because he's black and nothing more.

Hmm I hear liberal.

Old Post Jun 1st, 2013 04:20 AM
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Salthasha
Senior Member

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Location: United States

ok, i really don't get racist out of what i wrote, and if so are the two calling that black and if so do you enjoy the black panther? Since your post i forwarded it to a friend of mine who is black and asked him if he would be offended by what I wrote, He stated he would not.
So lets talk about concepts Marvel themselves used, There is the Black Panther, originally was pressured to take the name black leopard, due to the militant organization of the same name, his major story arc included a fight with the KKK, yet there is no Panther in Africa so by what you have labeled insensitive and even racist by an example of a back story introducing a common element in story telling such as ancestral identification as stereotypical, is well nonsense! if it were stereotypical it would be about anger and a sense of social injustice on the mean streets of the usa and a need to show he can overcome and be better than... That is racist insensitive and stereotypical. As per the ghost of the ancestor again a literary tool allowing the reader to determine what that was and not central enough to the main character leaving ones own mind to identify it.
I realize I am probably explaining this to high schoolers or even junior high school age people.
In that case good luck as you age andf I hope your narrow view of hate and racism can broaden some, what is funny is I could have been black for all you know, might want to research the city i detailed maybe you can all grow up some.

Old Post Jun 1st, 2013 08:19 PM
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Wei Phoenix
One-Eyed Dragon Of Oshu

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Southern Cross

It's laughable that you think we're kids because we don't like your idea. Yeah, only children can deem something as stereotypical, insensitive and whatnot. The fact that you're insulting us shows who the real immature child is.

I don't really think you understand stereotypes, there are more than one for every race although the one you just used as an example is basically what you're doing with this character just based out of Africa.


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You Wa Shock!

Old Post Jun 2nd, 2013 02:24 PM
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Wei Phoenix
One-Eyed Dragon Of Oshu

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Southern Cross

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Salthasha
Problem is he is like superman, that's a little overdone. Id rather look into his nature Ok he is African American, what could have transformed him is he a mutant?


Why does his race have to be a major component of his character? We need more Black characters that everyone can identify with, a character with morals, flaws and ideals who just happens to be Black. We don't need someone who's supposed to be tailored for the Black community to like although most wouldn't like this.

quote:
Maybe celestial bodies like the moon and sun have nothing to do with his power but instead maybe he is an answer to an ancient prophecy given about one who would come from the past with all his peoples woes and lead the oppressed to the homeland and its dream.


So we make a Black guy that just goes out to battle as Moses and leads all the Black people back to the motherland or mutants to their motherland?

quote:
Seeing a rare artifact The Spear of Sumahsra from the Manhyia Palace while on sebatical in Kumasi. Overcome you lose consciousnesses and your mutant ability is triggered by the symbol of your family. In a dream you are reunited with your ancestors and see the tragedy that would become your people through slave trade and colonization.



He's Black so there has to be a spear in there somewhere. Throwing slavery in there and making him some guy who's just ready to take it to Whitey and anyone who is ready to mistreat mutants or Blacks, I'm still not sure.

quote:
The faces and color of skin blur as you begin to see signs of mutant hate and genocide, out of the fog of the past you see a strong warrior walking in the jungle a large black cat beside him. He looks down at you offers his hand, as you take his hand he lifts you off the floor, looking intently into your eyes he simply says in the ancient tongue of your people "Guard them you people, succeed where the past failed, take the spear of justice into your heart, and let it guide you with the purpose of good".


Again with the whole jungle theme, some big black warrior is there speaking to him and turning him into a spear chucker who fights to right the wrongs of his tribe or mutants? Who's going to identify with this? He's not even a good Black character. I doubt even Africans would like this and I know one on this site that I could ask. Just because he would now be closer to African descent doesn't mean he would need or should have a spear, that's a stereotype.

quote:
You come to leaning on a bronze statue of a warrior named Sumahsra and there is a burning above your heart, what looks like a deep scratch resembles a spear.
You run faster than normal speeds, capable of great physical prowess able to leap like a panther, and strong enough to lift a car, your spatial awareness acts constantly allowing you near danger sense perception.


Here's where a lot of the Black stereotypes are introduced. First is that spear again.... He runs fast and is great at jumping. Once again how do we, the reader identify with this character? What about him would make him successful?

quote:
Your metabolic rate forever altered and your body is capable of carrying greater amounts of oxygen allowing you feats of endurance that are superhuman. You heal most wounds within a night, and emit an empathic aura of fear when engaging combat, through time you have learned to control this to allow it to target rather than broadcasting it solely in a radius.
A strong pull lured you to westchester New York where you met another ororo Monroe here she and a bald man in a wheel chair offered you help but asked you to work as a silent member in third world countries with three others in an attempt to subvert threats that might challenge the World at large.


Hopefully now you see what's wrong, the fact that he also meets Storm as the one of the first people is also laughable. He's not going to be on the main team or work beside the X-Men instead he's shipped off to go fight oppressed third world countries? This all seems like a tale of Buck The Wonder Slave and how he fights back against The Man and his global oppression of minorities.


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You Wa Shock!

Old Post Jun 2nd, 2013 02:43 PM
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KingD19
Shai-Gen's Enigmatic Wong

Gender: Male
Location: Land of the Lost

Mmmmyeah Wei pretty much hit it on the head. And for that he gets chicken and waffles from the black guy.(I'm black by the way)

But seriously, Rox's character is black. He's just black, there's no...prophecy that needs to be fulfilled or him shuckin and jivin. He just happens to be black, and that doesn't need some over convoluted African temple of doom type backstory.

Old Post Jun 2nd, 2013 03:07 PM
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Salthasha
Senior Member

Gender:
Location: United States

you really have no idea about the intent of what the x men were in the 60's and your ignorance is profound here. You have taken every little bit of a story and twisted it to your perception not the intent of this author. I guess if I choose to I could have just as easily called it an Irish hero who while visiting Caishel was greeted by a vision of Finn Macool and with his "spear" in hand or even I could have made him Polynesian, the emphasis on the race was made that was as a backdrop because roxx stated he was a young black male. I really could care less what your issue is, that type of story is atypical of many heroes including the Black Panther Wonder Woman etc. Holly wood is famous for such origins!
Like most super sensitive people you throw race and banter like its something at the drop of a hat.
You know nothing about me and obviously your just pulling what you choose to derelict in a sample story.
My mistake was to give an example using a black person trust me that will never happen again. I will stick to the Irish which is what I am.
People like you want to see hate behind every shadow you create that in your own reasoning not in mine and nor am I nor my story derived by such, As i will not continue this debate any further with you I wish you the best of luck, something tells me you will need it in your cynical little life.

Old Post Jun 7th, 2013 06:10 AM
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SevenShackles
Missa pro defunctis

Gender: Male
Location: MAD MAD World

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Salthasha
you really have no idea about the intent of what the x men were in the 60's and your ignorance is profound here. You have taken every little bit of a story and twisted it to your perception not the intent of this author. I guess if I choose to I could have just as easily called it an Irish hero who while visiting Caishel was greeted by a vision of Finn Macool and with his "spear" in hand or even I could have made him Polynesian, the emphasis on the race was made that was as a backdrop because roxx stated he was a young black male. I really could care less what your issue is, that type of story is atypical of many heroes including the Black Panther Wonder Woman etc. Holly wood is famous for such origins!
Like most super sensitive people you throw race and banter like its something at the drop of a hat.
You know nothing about me and obviously your just pulling what you choose to derelict in a sample story.
My mistake was to give an example using a black person trust me that will never happen again. I will stick to the Irish which is what I am.
People like you want to see hate behind every shadow you create that in your own reasoning not in mine and nor am I nor my story derived by such, As i will not continue this debate any further with you I wish you the best of luck, something tells me you will need it in your cynical little life.

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GAMMA GIDEON

Respect: -Dynamo 5 -Greed -Noh-Varr/Marvel Boy

Old Post Jun 7th, 2013 07:00 AM
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rox
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: United States

Real Name: Jamal Jones
Aliases: Mr. Powerhouse
Notable aliases: Dominance Tusk, J.J. Powerhouse, The Paragon
Identity: Secret
Occupation: Adventurer
Legal Status: Citizen of the United States with no known criminal record
Place of Birth: Buffalo, New York
Marital Status: Single
Known Relatives: Steve Jones (father), Anita Jones (mother) Maggie Jones (Sister) Robert Jones (brother)
Base of Operations: (current)Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, Salem Center, Westchester County, (former) Massachusetts Academy (Part Time) X-Force headquarters,
Group Affiliation: (current) X-Men (former) New Mutants (PartTime) X-Force
First Appearance: NEW MUTANTS

History: Jamal Jones is young mutant alpha level mutant with paragon like abilities. During jamals fathers military years, his family traveled all over the world and lived in various places. Jamals father became weary of what the world became after his duty years therfore jamal was sheltered and didn't know to much outside his home life. When Jamal was a senior in high school his powers manifested after two bullies pushed him into the road unknowing that an 18 wheeler was coming towards him. The 18 wheeler crashed into Jamal's body, however when the semi crashed into Jamal's body the semi crumbled into pieces. Several people were stunned at jamals unharmed body. However as the sun continued to radiate, jamal felt enriched with power. The crowd however feared that jamal was a mutant and a mob formed. The mob attacked jamal and as the mob piled on top of him, with a simple shrug several people as many as thirty were thrown several distance and later hundreds of people began to storm towards jamal, with jamal analyzing that his strength was super human he pounded the ground causing it to cave in with shockwave energy collasping several walls and shattering several glass windows. As people fail into the ground jamal ran for cover after being chased by the authorities. As jamal ran he was cornered by two people from the mob in cars, as jamal jumped in the air he realizedd that he was floating in the air. He then realized he could fly but not control his speed and crash lands in a park playground with a bunch of kids surrounding him asking if he is a mutant. One of the children then coined the name yelling "bye Mr. Powerhouse". Jamal from then on kept a low profile by wearing hats and shades daily. Jamal was unaware he was being watched by professor x. Also jamal was monitored by a sentinel sent by Bolivar Trask that determained he was an alpha level mutant.

Sometime later but not to distant jamal had finished college near westchester. After his graduation he found himself in an unexpected battle fending off a powerful enemy however jamal was in for the shock and fight of his life when the enemy was revealed to be the hulk. Because of jamals sheltered life he was not aware of the hulk's actual existence and only percived him to be a myth. However jamal mistook the hulk for a savage monster and perceived the hulk as endangering lives not realizing the hulk was there to help. Jamal engaged the hulk in a heated battle in which jamal lost due to him being unable to manifest his full strength at his young age. Embarrassed, jamal returned home only to be scholded by his family for exposing his identity to the rest of the world. Jamal then went into exile moving around to different places in new york. Jamal decided to try and redeem himself by fighting crime as a viglante until one fatal night where he accidentally punched one guy into a coma. Afraid of his actions and powers jamal fled the scene only to be noticed by the Friends of Humanity. After a brief struggle jamal is spoken to by a female voice who turns out to be emma frost. Emma explains her powers and for jamal to flee and head to her academy. It is then where jamal is trained to become more aggressive however because of jamal background he feels uncomfortable with the hostile acts and missons that he leaves academy only to be confronted by professor x alone. Spoked by the professor jamal at first runs but is stopped by storm and shadowcat who befriends jamal to much of piotr jealously. After some time during training with current x-men team jamal becomes a permant member becoming better at teamwork. On his first major misson with the team, they are attack by the brotherhood. After two team members are in danger jamal is force to comfort the master of magnatism himself magneto. Jamal and magneto viciously fight until the fight goes outside. Jamal doubting himself almost loses and is almost killed but professor x calms jamal and reminds him of his training, jamal is able to fight magneto to a stand still. Magneto retreats after not being able to beat jamal but declares that the two are enemies and will battle again. Wolverine congraulates jamal on standing up to magneto after overcoming his fear of danger and battle but warns that magneto is a poweful enemy and he will need to be on his guard.


During his early training with the team, professor x explains to jamal that his abilites are super-strength, flight and physical invulnerability and shockwave generation. Professor X explains that jamals x-gene allows him to utlize the radiation from the sun and the moon to grant his powers and that his powers increase the closer he is to each making him almost impossible to defeat. Xavier also explains that his body is still human and can suffer damage. A full eclipse would render jamal powerless and he would become like a normal human. Jamal's powers are also drained if underground to deep as when accompained to storm to the morlock tunnel. With his extreme strength jamal has to endure heavy stress to keep his strength in check. Wolverine remarks after jamals first big mission against magneto that someday he will be able to give the hulk a run for his money as he is told by the professor
that his strength will become unlimted in the future. Jamal has been on several small to medium missions since his battle with magneto but remains a student at the school for awhile.

Height: (6 ft. 1 in.)
Weight: 190
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Black
Distinguishing Features: His signature Tan long coat with brown jeans a tight fitted black shirt with a white X across the front middle and stealtoe brown boots.

Weapons: Jamal has crafted a custom 600 pound 5ft steel warhammer to aid him in battle when the team faces extreme enemies This help Jamal greatly in a battle with the sentinels.

Strength Level: Superhuman Class 70 (with potential unlimetd strength due to exposure to the sun and the moon)

Known Superhuman Powers: Mr. Powerhouse is a mutant who possesses super-strength, flight and physical invulnerability and shockwave generation. Mr. Powerhouse is imune to all physical attacks and external attacks. Mr. Powerhouse has been known to fly at speeds of 1000 mph and survive a brief misson to chernobyl to neutralize a disturbance before the radiation could affect him because of his invulnerability however he still went through the cleanse process to be decontaminated from nuclear poison and sickness.

Weakness: Extreme levels of nuclear radiation, Lighting/Electricity, certain viruses, toxins and dieases. Mr. Powerhouse is vulnerable to telepathy attacks with only mild resistance. Telekinetic attacks can be effective if the mutant is strong enough as in Jean Grey being of the few that can actually stop Mr. Powerhouse.

Personality: Jamal "Mr. Powerhouse" Jones is a young black american male college graduate with a technology degree. Unlike most mutants even though Mr. Powerhouse is one of the strongest mutants he is very gentle by nature and often feels very nice even when dealing with enemies like the brotherhood and Mr Sinester who are very evil and vow to destroy or turn jamal to the side of evil. Jamal has many friends and is considered one of the friendlist of the group dispite his large intimdating statue. Though he is a very private person he is often seen lending an open ear to other x-men who need to vent. Jamal has a personal friendship wolverine who he sees as a mentor in learing how to be at peace with who he is. Jamal has had a rough time dealing with his extreme abilites and often doubts himself in battle. Jamal has a rivarly with Piotr Rasputin because of his friendship with Shadowcat however out of respect for piotr jamal keeps it professional. Jamal now accepts storm as his teacher rather than be afraid after there first meeting. Jamal maintains his friendship with everyone at the mansion despite him disagreeing with the teams actions sometime. He is often the leveled headed person of the team often quoting old movie lines or old tv shows showing off his bubble personalty that everyone loves.


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Old Post Jul 18th, 2013 06:12 AM
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SevenShackles
Missa pro defunctis

Gender: Male
Location: MAD MAD World

The venture into Chernobyl sort of undermines radiation being a weakness. For it to be a weakness doesn't mean he falls over in a single instant like superman with kryptonite but that he is weak to exposure like any other human ( kind of like supermans 'weakness' to magic, he isn't any more weak against it than a normal person but he doesn't have invulnerability to it like he would any other damage inflicted by other means)
Also it's kind of odd given his body absorbs radiation threw the form of sun/moon light. If anything maybe changing his weakness to mean only certain types of radiation can poison him causing alternate effects such as weakness, amping, hallucinations, sickness, temporary blindness, vertigo and the such. It's a nice plot device to undermine his super stats given how many villains can manipulate various forms of radiation and it will allow him to remain as strong as you Want him to be and still have a means to be defeated by someone who isn't his equal.

The story needs a bit more flushing out. The mob that attacks him suddenly becomes hundred and also chase him with cars. Then somehow he is able to goto college and is in contact with his family. Feels a bit off. More so given how usual x-men stories go.
Maybe something like this..
The kids who were bullying him push him in front of the truck unknowingly after Jamal finally stands up for himself, Jamal takes it head on and survives. Being sheltered he panics and doesn't know what to do, he sees the driver hurt and runs away. (a normal kids reaction) then the two bullies who might be the offspring of mutant haters label him a mutant and start telling lies about him (they are bullies after all) and go on the local news saying he did it on purpose to prove how strong he was. (this would attract the attention of prof X and the x-men) Jamal doesn't think he can go back home since he has such a strict military house hold so he just tries to figure things out and doesn't go home.. He thinks about it and tried to test his powers, finding he can push trees over and fly (the 'mr.powerhouse' kid moment) and he thinks he can be a hero. That night the anti mutant adults (bullies parents among them?) rally other scared parents and form a mob to find the kid. Then the numbers of people swarming him are justified and he can throw them off trying to defend himself. The X-men step in with the aid of his worried father (who Jamal thought wouldn't accept him for being different) and help protect him stopping him from hurting anyone with his powers.
The truck driver survives and says he saw the two kids push jamal into the street and it was an accident so now all the adults feel stupid and Jamal moves.
Jamals powers leave him, unknown to him his father and prof X had a meeting and given how strong Jamal was they decided he was ready for all that power and put a mental block on him. (prof x in agreement he would come back for him eventually and help him learn to use his powers effectively) He can still do some stuff but not on the level he could before until years later in college where a mix of over coming the mental block (to protect ppl id imagine) and gamma radiation being emitted by the hulks body is Jamal Able to tap into that power and fight the hulk back. (gamma radiation being a plot device)

It makes no sense for him not to know who the hulk is because he was sheltered more so if he is in college. He is on the news, he was a founding member of the avengers and is/was widely hunted by the government. He almost Sank manhattan and all that stuff so him being an urban legend doesn't really fit if he has access to modern day tech like computers and tv. Him buying into the media/military hype that he is a mindless monster who does nothing but hurt people might fit better. Given his military father it wouldn't be a large leap to thing his father has alot to do with his outlook on such things.

Everything else including the magneto feat sounds fine. Well Colossus being jealous made me 'lol' given his humble and caring nature but it's your take on it. I'd come up with a possibly deeper reason for him to distrust Jamal.

You limited his powers so he looses them underground, how do they work indoors? Curious if you thought that threw. The flight speed as travel speed looks fine.

I'm open to have conversations about this. thumb up


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Old Post Jul 19th, 2013 07:57 PM
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rox
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You have a lot of good ideas


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Old Post Jul 26th, 2013 02:14 AM
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Apexcellent
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Since this thread is dead I'm gonna use it as my boredom shelter.


Noticed the unscrambled acronym when jotting these down so added an uninspired S to finish it. Gonna keep text to a minimum.



Degenerate - compressed relativistic matter rocking a degeneracy pressure

Ironic - coats surfaces with your favorite metal on the periodic table but suffers from iron deficiency

Coward - partitioned tail on a taurine figure. all the cow looks. none of the typical animal enhancements. sister act to Mosaic

Knowbody - smart limbs

Stasis - static biology


This mostly feels like abrasive self aware redshirts who don't care what their codenames imply.

Planning on dropping ideas here from time to time. It'd be nice if some writer from Marvel were inspired by these.

Old Post Apr 3rd, 2014 06:23 AM
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