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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
I was going down an elevator with three or four women, all of whom were
strangers to me. At the first floor, I automatically stepped to one side
to let them all off. As the last one preceded me, she turned and said,
"When Women's Lib takes over, you'll get off first."
"Listen, lady," I said, smiling, "I'm a Woman's Lib-er myself. I want all
women to be free." "You do?" she said, rather astonished. "Yes," I said.
"I hate it when they charge."
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Jan 8th, 2018 01:29 AM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a
young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.? He stopped and asked
the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'? The boy replied, 'What turkey?'?
The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'?
The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted
under my arm!'? The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey
season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do
to you.? If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break
his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you.
So, what are you gonna do with him?'? The little boy said, 'I guess
I'll just kiss his a$$ and let him go!'
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Jan 8th, 2018 01:31 AM |
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riv6672
Senior Member
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
(please log in to view the image)
__________________
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Jan 9th, 2018 10:43 AM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
Man: "Good morning."
Doctor: "What's the problem"
The man whips out his dick. It is all red and swollen up.
Doctor: "We need to amputate it..."
Man: "You're crazy!"
And the man leaves.
He goes to a second doctor and the same thing happens.
Finally, at the third doctor...
Doc: "Good morning! What is the problem?"
The man again pulls out his dick.
Man: "Now tell me, do we need to amputate it?"
Doctor: "No."
Man: "Oh thank God"
Doctor: "It will fall off by itself."
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Jan 9th, 2018 01:02 PM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
A Baby Seal slithers into a bar, and manages to work his way up to the stool.
Perplexed the Bartender says "Uh... what can I get ya?"
The Baby Seal able to speak fluent english says "Anything, as long as it's not a Canadian Club on the rocks."
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Jan 9th, 2018 01:02 PM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
There is a Jewish guy was disliked by just about every one he knew and screwed
over just about every one he met. So one day the guy dies and the Rabbi is
presiding over the funeral service. He is up in front of the congregation
and recites all the required prayers and performs all of the required
rituals. Then the Rabbi looks out at the audience and says, "Would any one
like to make comment about the deceased?" Dead silence. The silence
continues for a full minute, then two minutes, then three minutes. The
people in the audience are clearly becoming uncomfortable. Finally, one man
in the back row raises his hand and says, "His brother was worse."
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Jan 9th, 2018 01:03 PM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
Polar Bear cub goes to his mother and asks her “mom, am I 100% polar bear?”
She says, “Yes, your father and I are both pure polar bears, so you are too.”
Cub asks “You sure I’m not part grizzly or black bear? Maybe even panda?”
Mother bear says, “Yes, I’m positive. Why do you keep asking?”
Cub says “Because I’m really, really cold!”
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Jan 9th, 2018 01:05 PM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
Why aren't there any mexicans on star trek?
Because they don't get jobs in the future either
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Jan 9th, 2018 01:05 PM |
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riv6672
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
(please log in to view the image)
__________________
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Jan 9th, 2018 10:45 PM |
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riv6672
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
(please log in to view the image)
__________________
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Jan 10th, 2018 10:38 AM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant
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Jan 11th, 2018 03:44 PM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
Why didn't the life guard save the hippy? Cause he was too far out man.
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Jan 11th, 2018 03:44 PM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
__________________
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Jan 11th, 2018 03:45 PM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
I still remember what my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket
“Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
__________________
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Jan 11th, 2018 03:45 PM |
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riv6672
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
(please log in to view the image)
__________________
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Jan 12th, 2018 09:39 PM |
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Freedon Nadd
Senior Member
 Gender: Male
Location: Romania |
Your joke is incestous.
__________________
RealistRacism: "Sheevites, much like the Banites, were meant to increase in power with each member. From Lightsnake to Gideon to Azronger, this was supposed to be the case. However, knowledge must've been lost in some kind of Gravid-like incident, as Az turned out to be a mid-tier debater with a sub-par track record, sh!itting all over Tempest's legacy. Sad."
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Jan 12th, 2018 11:40 PM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
obvious troll is obvious
__________________
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Jan 13th, 2018 12:27 AM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
How do you say brassiere or bra in German?
Stoppen-frum-floppen
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Jan 14th, 2018 04:11 AM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
A snake walks into a bar.
Bartender says "How did you do that?!"
__________________
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Jan 14th, 2018 04:12 AM |
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Nuke Nixon
One Shot, One Kill
Gender: Unspecified
Location: Great Northwest |
There is a whorehouse in the mountains.
The guy going in?
He's Russian
The guy leaving?
He's Finnish
The guy inside?
Himalayan
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Jan 14th, 2018 04:13 AM |
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