its a complex issue. first thing that comes to mind is that people are getting married much later in life, and these traditions are rooted in a time where courtship for marriage really did commonly begin in adolescence.
so yeah, "can i marry your 18 year old daughter?" seems like a reasonable question that a suiter should ask her parents, imo. however if you ever confront a gf's father who insists you ask "may i please marry your 32 year old daugther", not only would that be ridiculous, but i also suggest you just run from the whole situation. fast.
__________________
Your Lord knows very well what is in your heart. Your soul suffices this day as a reckoner against you. I need no witnesses. You do not listen to your soul, but listen instead to your anger and your rage.
So Cosmo, when a father "gives away" his daughter by walking her down the aisle...is that sexist?
As for asking the dad if you can marry the daughter, eh. If the girl you want to marry gets upset you did that then she is doing you a favor by giving you a sign she isn't marriage material.
On top of that, I have seen it said it is about "respect". Okay, but it seems most of the time it is pointless. Most of the time if the dad says "no you can't marry her" the guy doesn't just go "okay" and cut her out of his life. And yet if it was truly about respect....the guy would respect the wishes of the father if told no.
EDIT: Imagine that wedding night though lol. The groom is about to slip off the brides dress and she whispers "Daddy said this is okay".
__________________ Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man you're a Chicken Boo.
Last edited by Surtur on Sep 1st, 2017 at 01:56 PM
The tradition is from the time when women were chattel, and marriage was a transaction transferring the property of one man to another. So yeah, it is sexist.
__________________ Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man you're a Chicken Boo.
__________________ Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man you're a Chicken Boo.
I asked the parents, AND the grandfather (grandmother passed away), and I presented gifts (dowry if you want to call it that). So it's sexist for following tradition of old people? Why? Who cares? So what if your social justice warrior bullshit ideas makes you offended. Fu*k you, of course. I don't care about your feelings. You're not the one marrying into this family, I am. They want the respect of the man who is going to take their daughter away and they want to see if he is going to respect their daughter enough to take care of her. If he puts the effort in to follow the old tradition, he's probably going to try a bit harder in the marriage, too. They want to see what type of person I am going to be so getting their blessing and approval is absolutely necessary if I want to bring our families together.
Contrary to popular social justice warrior belief, almost all men can beat the shit out of almost all women. So it can be scary to give your daughter away to a man you barely know. So they set up these old traditions to help protect their daughter and give themselves a bit more assurance than nothing. Also, name-reputation was on the line and arranged marriages were often between CHILDREN, not an old man and a young woman (I'm thinking of the Elizabethan Period and marriage traditions among royalty and nobles...where these traditions come from).
But what if the parent does not agree? Aren't you glad you asked before you went and caused huge problems? Perhaps you can resolve the concern OR start planning your wedding to not include the in-laws.
Here's the deal: this is subtle sexism. Or, as I like to call it, subversive sexism. This poor little women need your social justice warriors to intervene on their behalves because they are soooo so very weak and dumb and cannot decide for themselves if they want a traditional process with a respectful husband who wants to put in effort to prove he cherishes the love of his life. It's romantic. Some women love it.
Here's a thought!!!!! How about asking the women themselves what they want? Gasp! Who would have thought that a woman could think for herself without a social justice warrior telling her how she should think. Shocking to even entertain the idea that women may think for themselves, I know. (Hint: SJWs just cannot STAND the notion that a woman my chose to be a stay at home mom or desire traditional family values and customs.)
__________________ Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man you're a Chicken Boo.
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Sep 1st, 2017 05:01 AM
