I tend to think that the people who fear false allegations, (some, but not all) do so because subconsciously they know their approach to sex/relationships is questionable.
__________________ Then lets head down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch
__________________ posted by Badabing
I don't know why some of you are going on about being right and winning. Rob and Impediment were in on this gag because I PMed them. Silent and Rao PMed me and figured I changed the post. I highly doubt anybody thought Quan made the post, but simply played along just for the lulz.
I already addressed this point of yours. Your kind of thinking is dangerous for men. This is not about men's rights, at all. This is about staying out of trouble and keeping your job.
I guess your wording also leaves you plenty of linguistic space to play word games but my approach with the opposite sex has never been questionable.
But I do see the types that fear women in the workplace as victims of abuse, however. Every person I have met in real life that fear interactions with women are normal men who are even kinder than normal. They got wound up in some stupid controversy where they did absolutely nothing wrong. The fact that I've witnessed this BS, first hand, is also part of my perspective. But I also witnessed inappropriate behavior from a man at work to his female coworker, too.
Talk to the men at work. Ask them, sincerely, if they were falsely accused or were falsely implied to have sexually harassed a woman at work. If you get a yes. Listen to their story. Then ask them if they fear interacting with women at work.
I work in a high turnover industry so I guess I have that as a safety blanket should I ever be accused falsely, my attitude would be, 'Sorry she feels that way, I'll leave.' I'd get another job a few days later and I could spend those days chilling. I guess it helps knowing your audience somewhat, what might be hilarious flirting for one person, might be uncomfortable territory for another and I've unfortunately met a lot of men who could do with some schooling on that. I've even had 'sexual harassment at work day' where I suggested to a couple of female coworkers we all sexually harass each other for the shift, we had a great laugh, but I definitely wouldn't suggest it with just any female coworker I had.
__________________ Then lets head down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch
A lot of places are toxic to the extreme, and everyone hates everyone else. In that kind of environment, men, women, non binary', and probably the damned microwave and coffee machines are trying to undermine everyone they can. Because advancement, or just because they hate you.
As a tactic, if tactic it becomes, harassment is one more likely to be used successfully by a woman, then by a man, simply because women are protected classes who are taken seriously in their claims, while men are not.
__________________ What CDTM believes;
Never let anyone else define you. Don't be a jerk just to be a jerk, but if you are expressing your true inner feelings and beliefs, or at least trying to express that inner child, and everyone gets pissed off about it, never NEVER apologize for it. Let them think what they want, let them define you in their narrow little minds while they suppress every last piece of them just to keep a friend that never liked them for themselves in the first place.
__________________ Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man you're a Chicken Boo.
A cousin had a sweet job at Yale. Then he was let go, for "stealing."
The thing he stole, was broken tools, that a supervisor assumed were being thrown out, and gave his permission to take them.
The really sad thing, is I know from first hand experienced that some bosses could care less what another supervisor does. In my case, I was told not to come in on a certain day. I didn't, she forgot to fix the schedual, and her boss took it out on me. My excuse of "But my immediate supervisor" was met with "This may sound harsh, but if you had something worked out with her, it's NOT MY PROBLEM".
So yeah, "false" sexual harassment claims are something I'd file under a long laundry list of things that could get you fired.
And while I'm 100% certain false claims are not the norm, I'm still a cynic of my fellow man/woman having my best interest at heart, by experience..
__________________ What CDTM believes;
Never let anyone else define you. Don't be a jerk just to be a jerk, but if you are expressing your true inner feelings and beliefs, or at least trying to express that inner child, and everyone gets pissed off about it, never NEVER apologize for it. Let them think what they want, let them define you in their narrow little minds while they suppress every last piece of them just to keep a friend that never liked them for themselves in the first place.
Theres one woman you have to be really careful around in the workplace. She's the one who punches you. Shoulder charges you (you know you're standing maybe lost in thought and she'll say hi or something and bump her shoulder against yours) she's a very tactile person... she throws punches / you know the type friendly punches.
Don't ever do the same to her or let anyone see you doing the same don't block any of them step aside if you can.
The last thing you need is some person keeping a beady eye on you going Aha! Would you believe it he raised his hand against little miss cutie'
I knew one lady like this who took this up to 11. She would be punching this guy in a higher pay grade she was with full force. There was a little workplace romance thing going on. She threw something at me once it was some soft harmless thing. I threw something her direction... yep you guessed it... I was sitting down with the big boss explaining just what I thought I was doing.
Well I explained and the whole thing was dismissed. I caught up with her a few years later and said.... - you were cray zay back then. And she smiled and said... yes, I was. we laughed.
This other girl - she wanted me to -- her - -- I was like, uh -- anywhoo --
She moved onto some one in a higher pay grade. Long story short. cassanova handed in his resignation before he was... you can probably guess.
Some one who didn't like him put the report in.
Theres one lady who was a puncher she made some bet with some guy lost it and failed to honor the debt. The guy said but... she made the boxers feint, shrug of the shoulder slight arm movement, the guy flexed just the same. They faced off. That was it. Within a couple of days he was fired. I went to the lady (we're friends) and said -- you better tell them the truth of what happened) she wasn't malicious, it was all joking but some one reported it in.
Management were looking for a reason anyway... and that for them was it for the guy.
Makes you wonder what these bosses are really thinking.
I mean, I'm sure they aren't idiots. They know things happen, that aren't intentionally bad.
I'd imagine it's mostly they're more obsessed with covering their rears, then they are being fair to you. Another part wonders if that's an excuse, and they WANT to chop your head off, if given an opportunity.
__________________ What CDTM believes;
Never let anyone else define you. Don't be a jerk just to be a jerk, but if you are expressing your true inner feelings and beliefs, or at least trying to express that inner child, and everyone gets pissed off about it, never NEVER apologize for it. Let them think what they want, let them define you in their narrow little minds while they suppress every last piece of them just to keep a friend that never liked them for themselves in the first place.
I posted somewhere in the thread that all it takes is one false claim and it can bring down a medium size company (where annual revenue is tens to low hundreds of millions).
Just 1 bad person can destroy hundreds to thousands of jobs.
I think the term 'sexual harassment' is a bit too broad, it can range anywhere from (assuming the claim isn't bogus) unwanted compliments to unwanted physical contact and it seems a bit unfair to lump it all in as sexual harassment. I could imagine if I were ever disciplined for sexual harassment, (again assuming the claim isn't bogus) I'd be heavily reluctant to inform even close friends for fear they'd conjure up images of me waiting in bathroom stalls wearing crotchless pants.
Perhaps they could add degrees to it like they do with murder, scaling it accordingly. 3rd degree sexual harassment carrying leaner consequences and less social stigma than 1st degree, which would likely involve witnesses and/or video evidence and generally proof of malicious intent.
__________________ Then lets head down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch
Which makes it a viable tactic, to bring down competitors.
I am NOT saying that's what happens. I'm saying this "all's fair in love and war" mentality is a real thing, and it's bad for everybody. Ideally, you have a common social fabric that self enforces morality.
But today, you don't. So everything is fair game.
__________________ What CDTM believes;
Never let anyone else define you. Don't be a jerk just to be a jerk, but if you are expressing your true inner feelings and beliefs, or at least trying to express that inner child, and everyone gets pissed off about it, never NEVER apologize for it. Let them think what they want, let them define you in their narrow little minds while they suppress every last piece of them just to keep a friend that never liked them for themselves in the first place.
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Dec 6th, 2018 01:35 AM
