Planet of the Apes Review

by Max Messier (messier AT filmcritic DOT com)
July 27th, 2001
PLANET OF THE APES
A film review by Max Messier
Copyright 2001 filmcritic.com

Tim Burton has now completed his evolution from the brilliant director
of macabre stories about outcast individuals yearning for acceptance,
and into a studio monkey whose name is used as part of multi-tiered
marketing materials for crap movies. And here he hits rock bottom, with
Planet of the Apes.

I didn't expect much from this latest "interpretation" of Pierre
Boulle's classic novel Planet of the Apes. I mean, how could you top
the force and impact of the original film, intelligently co-scripted by
Rod Serling (of Twilight Zone fame) combined with the overbearing Chuck
Heston growling and yelling at those "damn dirty apes," in one of his
best roles of his career? Sadly, I sat down to watch Burton's version
of Planet of the Apes and within the first 20 minutes, I was checking my
watch and my girlfriend (a big fan of the original film) started to nod
off.

This time around, the story plays out like a cross between Enemy Mine,
Braveheart, and Project X. Marky Mark Wahlberg, who was enjoyable in
Boogie Nights and The Corrupter, plays Leo Davidson, a hot shot U.S. Air
Force pilot. Leo and his crew are in search of some mysterious magnetic
storms (no real explanation given in the film) and Leo sends one of his
genetically altered "smart" chimps into the storms to collect data. Leo
and his crew lose communication with the chimp, Leo hops in another ship
to find the monkey, and then he's thrown through some type of time-space
wormhole which crashes lands on the Twentieth Century Fox studio
backlot, all mocked up to look like the Amazon jungle.

Leo ends up getting captured by a group of talking apes and is sold to a
slave trader named Limbo (Paul Giamatti) who in turn sells Leo to a
chimpanzee named Ari (Helena Bonham Carter). The kind Ari then helps
Leo and his fellow humans escape to the mountains to find Leo's ship.
Along the way, monkeys played by Tim Roth (overacting his role of a
vicious general named Thade) and Michael Clarke Duncan (who further
enhances his career by playing another heavy in a bad action movie)
strive out to hunt down Leo and his band of human savages, just like
Battlefield Earth! In the end, it all culminates into another
Braveheart rip-off human versus ape battle scene.

While Rick Baker's makeup work is amazing, the script is a pathetic
hodgepodge (courtesy of three writers), the acting is horrible, and the
"surprise" ending feels like a swing from a ball-peen hammer into the
temple. Wahlberg does not have the physical or mental presence of a
Chuck Heston to carry the film or any of its action sequences.

This remake, or re-interpretation, as Tim Burton has proclaimed it, is
an insult to the intelligence and wit of the original film. The ethical
arguments about the equality of species, fascism, and military buildup
have been replaced by tremendous amounts of ridiculous dialogue, an
unimaginative narrative structure, and a romance between a monkey and a
human. Even Chuck Heston's anti-gun tirade (in the de rigeur cameo)
seems shallow and jokey.

But the main element missing from this Tim Burton Film is Tim Burton.
Even though his name is plastered across every billboard in America,
John Badham could have directed this film. Even Joel Schumacher could
have directed this film. He probably should have. Burton's predominant
themes of rejection, isolation, and the search for one's place in the
universe, as seen in Ed Wood, Edward Scissorshands, and Pee-Wee's Big
Adventure, are completely absent in this Planet. I suppose that's what
happen when a great director gets sucked through a wormhole.

RATING: * [LOWEST RATING]

|------------------------------|
\ ***** Perfection \
\ **** Good, memorable film \
    \ *** Average, hits and misses \
    \ ** Sub-par on many levels \
    \ * Unquestionably awful \
    |------------------------------|

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Director: Tim Burton
Producer: Richard Zanuck, Ralph Winter
Writer: William Broyles, Jr., Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Estella Warren, Helen Bonham Carter,
Kris Kristofferson, Michael Clarke Duncan, Paul Giamatti, Cary-Hiroyuki
Tagawa, David Warner

http://www.planetoftheapes.com/

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