Transformers Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)July 2nd, 2007
TRANSFORMERS
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2007 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): **
For boys raised on a steady entertainment diet of action figures and Power Rangers episodes, TRANSFORMERS is just the movie for them. Adults, on the other hand, will find its ridiculously hokey dialog and its loud and repetitive structure likely to induce a migraine headache.
Basically one long commercial for General Motors -- Don't forget, "What's good for GM is good for America" -- and transformer toys, the movie interrupts its commercial messages briefly for some parts that are funny.
Shia LaBeouf (DISTURBIA), the young star of the moment now in Hollywood, is the best part of the picture. His everyman portrayal of Sam Witwicky is believable and funny. Most of the rest of the cast, most especially Jon Voight as Secretary of Defense Keller, are pretty awful. As Sam's love interest, Megan Fox (CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN) is likable enough in her part.
Twice during the movie, we are given a detailed explanation of what the story is all about. It involves "Project Iceman," a secret so sensitive that even the Secretary of Defense knows nothing about it. It involves a group of mechanical Godzillas who are on earth fighting for a cube in order to determine the destiny of the entire universe. And more, I think. The preposterous explanation is so full of techno mush that only a hard core video gamer could love it.
And speaking of video games, the movie, which is way, way, way too long, has a concluding part that goes on for about an hour and consists of non-stop battles between the mechanical beasts. Watching -- nay, enduring it -- is like being trapped watching a video game that won't end. Better bring ear plugs.
The secret to getting any pleasure out of the film, if you're not a boy between the ages of 10 and 15, is to view it as an action comedy. When Sam first gets his junker Camaro, he doesn't realize that this is a like the car out of "Knight Rider" and more. The car chooses just the right music for Sam to woo his girl and transforms into an action figure three stories tall in order to protect him when necessary. Sam's parents, like all parents in the movies in situations like this, are completely oblivious of what is happening. They suspect that Sam has the door closed to his room because he is masturbating, not because one-hundred feet tall action figures are gathered outside his bedroom window.
But just as soon as you try to go with the flow and enjoy some of LaBeouf's acting, the mechanical beasts start spouting lines like, "Humans don't deserve to live!" This brings us back down to earth and reminds us just how bad this movie is. It gets worse. The ending sets up for a TRANSFORMERS 2, which, I would guess, will be at every multiplex in the summer of 2009. Ugh.
If you love playing with action figures, TRANSFORMERS is made for you. Otherwise, this loud and ridiculous film is more likely to be painful than enjoyable.
TRANSFORMERS runs a butt-numbingly long 2:24. It is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, brief sexual humor, and language" and would be acceptable for kids around 12 and up.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Tuesday, July 3, 2007. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and the Camera Cinemas.
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Email: Steve.Rhodes@InternetReviews.com
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Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
