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Somebody sent this to me, and I HAD to post it.

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK


1. I can see your point, but I still think you are full of shit.
2. I do not know what your problem is, but I will bet it is hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you have set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I am really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I will try being nicer if you will try being smarter.
7. I am out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I do not work here. I am a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I cannot understand a damn word you are saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just do not give a damn.
14. I am already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you
16. Thank you. We are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you does not mean you are an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I am not being rude. You are just insignificant.
21. It is a thankless job, but I have a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This is not an office. It is Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what is behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? <- My personal fav.
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

Thats a good list

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

I was told that when i was working at this resturant

I once asked a manager at work "who lit the fuse on your tampon." I strongly advise you Do Not do that

What I would like to say - "You are a worthless piece os sh*t who is only ill because you cant be ar*sed to look after yourself! Your flat stinks of sh*t and maybe if you cleaned up or opened a window once in a while you might be a little healthier but no instead you call us out at 2am because you cant sleep!"

Instead I have to say - "Ok sir, well, I dont have anything to give you that will help and the hospital wont give you sleeping tablets if your having trouble getting to sleep. You really need to see your general practitioner who may prescribe you something if you need it"

The usualy reply - "Thats ****ing bo**ocks! What the f*ck do you know! I pay you to take me to f*ckin' osbickle!"

What I would like to say back - "Oh dont mind me I've only been a paramedic 6 years what the hell do I know? And as for you paying my wages you've never had a f*cking job in your life! So its me thats paying for your wages on the f*ucking social!"

Instead I have to say - "Ok sir, but I must warn you, you will be waiting a long time!"

So thats a typlical scenario where I work...

I liked to say to the other members of staff.......F*** off you F***ing load of old cronies, how the hell am I supposed to learn anything if you always F***ing judge and never show me!

......But obviously I wont.......not yet!

I'd like to say "I won the Lottery last night. I now own this place and you're all fkn sacked"

I'd like to say "You're fired", to my Boss.

lol! That's a good list.

Here is what I want to say to one of my many supervisors...

"Levina, I hate your ****ing guts, everyone here thinks you are a dictating slavedriver. Because of that I have named you Joseph Stalin...go to hell b!tch!"

you're not happy with your room? i could really give a shit. now go take a piss.

You told me to do that twice and I have told you twice I have already done it! If it isn't clean enough then get the f*** over it and do it yourself! You lazy b@stard