J.R.R *Insert name*

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Darth Sauron
I thought this would be funny, to write out lines or scenes of lotr if they were written by sombody else, or directed by sombody else.

Im looking forward to the J.R.R Tarantino version eek!

Nazgulinthedark
J.R.R Rushing

The ringwraiths ran after Frodo. Then they killed him. Then Sam cryed. Then he ringwraiths killed Sam. All was good.

Darth Sauron
Screw it, i cant wait for tarantino

J.R.R Tarantino

Elrond: This Is Aragorn, when you absolutely have to take out every mother****er in the room, accept no other.

__________________________________________________
_

*gollum is captured, while being tortured an orc taunts him*

Orc: What does Sauron look like?
Gollum: whatssses?
Orc: Common tongue mother****er, what country you from
Gollum: What?
Orc: I aint heard of no country called what, do they speak english in what?
Gollum: What?
Orc: *puts sword to gollum* Say 'what' one more damn time, i dare you! now, what does Sauron look like?
Golum: Hes....metal
Orc: Does he look like a *****?
Gollum: What?
Orc: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A *****!?
Gollum: No!
Orc: Then why did you try to **** him like a *****?
Gollum: I didntss
Orc: yes you did gollum, yes you did

__________________________________________________


*sauron and gil galad battle*

Sauron: you ever read the ring inscription gil? well theres this...passage i got memorised,

One ring, to rule them all!
One Ring To Find Them!
One Ring to Bring Them All!
And In The Darkness....
Bind Them! *kills gil galad*

Mandos
confused
Sig is classic....laughing

roundisfunny
J.R.R. Seuss:

A hobbit named Frodo went through the land/
A magical ring upon his hand

What's this? A Gollum, all pasty and bent/
Who followed our hero wherever he went

To steal the precious and make it his own/
Was his foul intent, his heart was of stone

But Frodo's fat friend, a hobbit named Sam/
Who worked out too little, and ate too much ham

Protected his buddy from that crazy insane-o/
And helped him dispose of them both...in a volcano.

Laskharis
James R. R. Joyce

Riverrun the hobbits ringby plantony frostwhen erewhich.
-seek ye venterthrone calmbits?
-nonplurvy, arm the arm unwhat flestonis.
Brekekekekekek, coax, coax. The Fall, aaaaaaaarrrrrghasjhaiufafahefjb!

Merry Lover
J.R.R Rowling

*Orks torturing Gollum*

"Tell us where the ring is!"
"NO!"
"You asked for it... CRUCIO!"
*Gollum writhes in pain... That curse beats the thumbscrew! big grin *

*Battle where Boromir dies*

Random Uruk-hai: "Look, theres the Stewards son!"
Uruk that kills him in the movie: *Whips out wand* "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Merry Lover
Another JRR Rowling:

Boromir: "Give me the ring!"
Frodo: "No!"
Boromir: "IMPERIO! Now give me the ring!"
*Frodo hands it over*

Nazgul lord
LMAO thats classic

Nazgul lord
JRR Peterson:

Boromirr: it will be mine, it should be mine give it to me!
Frodo: i have seen this moment in my dreams!
Boromirr:hwoarrr!
Frodo: puts on the ring!
*spears and sting flying around*
*boromirr falls to his knees*

~DaPirateFreak~
These are hillarious laughing

drunk_nazgul
J.R.R. Pixar's The Lord of the Nemo


Merry & Pippin at Bilbo's party.

Merry: "Dude..."
Pippin: "Totally..."
*firecracker dragon explodes*
Both: "Radical!"

~Freak-N-Crazy~
LOL laughing

ash23
I love the Dr S one, very funny laughing out loud

Captain REX
J.R.R. Ambrose (guy who wrote Band o' Brothers)

Sam: Frodo! *fires M1 Garand into a crowd of Nazi Orcs*
Frodo: Sam! I've got the Ring! *pulls pin out of a grenade and puts it on, then dashes across field as little bullets marked with white hands fly everywhere*
Sam: Here, Mr. Frodo, throw it in! *pulls Frodo over to a mortar*
Gollum: Nein! *jumps out sporting a red arm band and a Hitleresque mustache, firing Lugers* Mein vaunts mein precious, Juden Schwein!
Boromir: No, I want the Ring, comrade! *jumps in carrying a rifle and bashes Hitler-Gollum, wearing a brown uniform and carrying a shield with a sicke-and-hammer on it*
Frodo: Stay back! It's mine!
Orcs: AAAAAAAAAAARGH! *fires Machine Gun at the group*

Captain REX
J.R.R. Strangelove

*Gollum waves a ten gallon hat and the Ring around as he rides an atom bomb into Mount Doom*

Londonboy7
J.R.R Moore

Frodo set out on his jorrney to free the land from the evil PResident bush who was the cousins roommates siter of sauron.

Spooony
J.R.R Bush

Boromir: Frodo give me the New-clear weapons (nuclear)

Frodo: we will not negotiate with terrorists,

Gollum: Hmmmm.. Precious oil

Shadowskill
Isn't that the truth? gunsmilie

Spooony
yse, yes it is

Londonboy7
JRR Bush
Boromir: Give ME THE RING
Pippen: I dont have the ring, (gets searched)
Boromir: I dont belive you (stabs Pippen)

ZephroCarnelian
JRR Pratchett

Gandalf faces the fiery Balrog, barrings it's path across the chasm,

His staff shining bright with a mystical power and his voice booming with an authority that rings throughout that chasm like peals of distant thunder, he screams:

"Go back to the shadow! The dark fire shall not avail you, o' Flam of Udun!!! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!"

HELLO

"He passed, didn't he....?"

OH YES

"What do I do now?"

USUALLY WE JUST FADE TO WHITE AND THAT'S THAT. HOWEVER, I DO BELIEVE IN THIS CASE THERE MAY BE A RESSURECTION INVOLVED AT SOME LATER STAGE.

"Oh good."

ZephroCarnelian
Duoble post, lol. Sorry.

embarrasment

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