Battle.Net Experience(A written script)

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Those who have and Blizzard games should know what I'm talking about.It's a parody of multiplayer Starcraft.

The Characters:

ChoboDeath853-Purple Zerg
XtremeGosu-Red Terran
killah1017-Yellow Protoss
(Someguy who i refer to as FlySwatter)

(Game starts...Big Game Hunters map)

killah1017: laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag
XtremeGosu: shuttup ***!
killah1017: fcuk you!!!!
XtremeGosu: learn to type dumbass
ChoboDeath853: lol
ChoboDeath853: quiet you two the games startin
killah1017: i will
killah1017: after i do your mom
XtremeGosu: your sick
(everyone starts mining except for XtremeGosu)
XtremeGosu: worker rush meet in middle
(SCV's go to middle)
killah1017: worker rush is gay
XtremeGosu: cmon my economy is flucked if you dont
killah1017: too bad for you
ChoboDeath853: sory man...i prefer to actually build.
XtremeGosu: DAMM YOU
(returns to base)
ChoboDeath853: AV all.
killah1017: what is AV?
ChoboDeath853: ...
ChoboDeath853: allie vision.

BackFire people are the lowest forms of life on earth. Reading that made me dumber.

Good.....that was the original purpose smile

( 15 minutes later )

ChoboDeath853: yellow why are you mining with two probes
XtremeGosu:yeah use all xept one
ChoboDeath853: yellow?
XtremeGosu: killah why arent you listening
killah1017: because your talking to yellow
killah1017: and i'm green.
XtremeGosu: ...
ChoboDeath853: ...
XtremeGosu: you green in map, yellow in game!!!
killah1017: o i c.
(killah starts mining with all probes except one)


i've seen that too laughing out loud omg, that's hilarious

"Go carriers! Maphack on!"

*beep* Killah1017 has been dropped laughing out loud

lol...shhh yer'givin the plot away.

ChoboDeath853: You know what that wun lef over does yellow
killah1017: uuhhhh sick leave? i dunno
XtremeGosu: its supposed to build you idiot
killah1017: o i c
(starts building with one last probe)
ChoboDeath853: we gots ourselves a newbie, u think?
XtremeGosu: definitely
killah1017: stfu
killah1017: hey wats wit dese minerals
killah1017: dey not stacked! in da other wuns dey got 2000000 or mor
XtremeGosu: boy ill say.
ChoboDeath853: this aint Zero Clutter idiot

(10 minutes later)
(everyone, even yellow, has a moderate base.)
XtremeGosu: killah go scout the map
killah1017: sure i wil...
killah1017: afta i do ur mom
XtremeGosu: ...
ChoboDeath853: what is it with you and other ppl's mom!
killah1017: they hot
XtremeGosu: dude your such a ****tard.
<MaDAzN13 has joined the game.>
MaDAzN13: hey YALL
(white terran structures float up)
MaDAzN13: Got room for another HOMEY? I gots MAD skillz!
ChoboDeath853: ...
XtremeGosu: ...
(a short time later)
(chobodeath and xtreme are destroying white base)
<MaDAzN13 has left the game.>
XtremeGosu: and stay the f*** out fruitcake!!!

I think diablo 2 chat rooms are funnier.. they go from politics to doing peoples mom in less than a few seconds

I just hear people asking for set items, hacks, whatnot. Nothing funny.

killah1017: im going to mass carrierz!
killah1017: from my one stargate!
ChoboDeath853: oooookay...
XtremeGosu: do what you want
ChoboDeath853: lol
XtremeGosu: im attacking! back me up chobo.
ChoboDeath853: ...
ChoboDeath853: wut did u just call me?!
(a short while later)
(Chobodeath is attacking xtreme, while xtreme is feebly counterattacking on chobo's base)
ChoboDeath853: TAKE IT BACK *******!!!!
XtremeGosu: what the hell man!
XtremeGosu: ur buildings arent taking any damage u hacker
ChoboDeath853: neither r urs idiot
XtremeGosu: fine i turn it off if u do
ChoboDeath853: fine this could go on for hours n e ways
(both turn off invincibility hack)
XtremeGosu: lol...
XtremeGosu: joo call down the thunder?
ChoboDeath853: wtf is that supposed to mean?
(Nuclear launch detected.)
ChoboDeath853: CANCEL IT MAN!!!
XtremeGosu: then u'll reap the whirlwind...
ChoboDeath853: YOU IDIOT
XtremeGosu: lol
(nukes land, blow both Gosu's base, and chobo's base up.)
<ChoboDeath853 has left the game.>
<XtremeGosu has left the game.>
killah1017: all rite! dey gone! time to own this game wit ma carrierz!
(he has 12 carriers)
killah1017: go carrierz! map hack on!
<killah1017 was dropped from the game.>
(killah's former carriers stop dead in mid-air.)
FlySwatter: all rite guys im back!
FlySwatter: you rdy to kick some major @$$?
FlySwatter: guys?
<FlySwatter has left the game.>
----------THE END---------------

<MaDAzN13 has joined the game.>

and whats all this 'joining' mid-game? isnt that impossible?

It's put in to make it funnier.

Man you guys are nuts-nothing like a real game because the noob would've been screwed from rushes.

Invinsibility hack?

starcraft is basically on the verge of being abandonware.. so I wouldnt doubt that it exists..

I'll probably put one in later. Of one of my own games. Saved the replay.

The Map===Zero Clutter(3v3)

Here are their names as best as I can remember...
Top Team
dark1365---orange zerg(me!)
dark3102---red terran(best friend)
MaDRaBbIt--yellow terran

Bottom Team
chad1118---white protoss
ImpKnight12---purple terran
dark6481---blue terran(other best friend)

(game starts)
dark3102: top
chad1118: b
dark3102: t
MaDRaBbIt: t
dark6481: bottom.
dark6481: dammit david i'm never wit u and graham.
dark1365: o well...maybe next time brad
chad1118: ya brad
dark6481: you stay out of this man
dark6481: and only my real friends get to use my name!!!
chad1118: okay okay sry
dark3102: ally up evry1
(everyone allies)
dark6481: Imp
dark6481: ally me n chad
chad1118: only MY real friends get to use MY real name!!!
dark6481: omg you idiot its in your dam screen name
chad1118: oh ya
dark6481: such an idiot.
chad1118: stfu
chad1118: anyways ally us Imp
dark6481: IMP!!!!!!!!
dark6481: (friend message) david, graham has Imp allied you or something?
dark3102: (friend message) yea
dark1365: (friend message) ya i dunno why.. he bottom, we're top


absolute genious! keep going!

dark1365: (friend talk) should i tell him to ally you n chad?
dark6481: (friend talk) ya u should
dark6481: (friend talk) wait i changed my mind.
dark3102: (friend talk) y?
dark6481: (friend talk) u'll find out l8r.
dark1365: (friend whisper to graham) i think he wants to backstab him
dark3102: ya i know
dark3102: damn i said that out loud
dark6481: you know.. what ?
dark1365: i was just telling him that thiessen's thinking of dumping paige.
dark6481: i aint suprised.
dark6481: now just keep the stupid domestic issues out of dis game.
dark6481: and just for the record, theissen's a dickhead.
dark3102: (whispers to 1365) good 1
dark1365: (whispers back) ya i am SOO smart aint i
dark3102: (whispers back) remember homer? s-m-r-t...
dark1365: (whispers back) ya that was a good episode.
dark3102: allied talk every1
MaDRaBbIt: oooh whos paige?
MaDRaBbIt: and is thiessen hot
dark1365: NO!!!!!!!!!!!
dark3102: never in a million years
dark3102: y r u intereseted in guys? u a homo?
MaDRaBbIt: no im a girl
dark3102: (friend message) hey brad, we got a chick on r team!!
dark6481: (friend mess..) oh she hot?
dark6481: (friend message) david ask if she's hot
dark1365: (friend message) WHY ME
dark3102: (friend mess..) cmon david turn on the ol' charm.
dark1365: (friend message) what charm?!

dark6481: (friend mess..) do it or i tell every1 that yer scared of girls.
dark1365: (friend mess..) youll do it any way, oh well.
dark1365: (whispers to rabbit) hey are you hot?
dark3102: (friend mess..) oh ask if she's available 2
dark1365: (whispers to rabbit) and available?
MaDRaBbIt: (whispers back) no, and yes
MaDRabBit: (whispers back) y r u?
dark1365: (whispers back) no, and yes.
dark3102: (friend talk)hey how's it going david
dark6481: (friend talk) ya how is she
dark1365: (friend talk) you remember emma?
dark6481: (friend talk) which one
dark1365: (friend talk) that one in 9-18.
dark6481: (friend talk) uuuuuggghh
dark3102: (friend talk) eww.
dark1365: (friend talk) yup.
dark1365: (friend talk)how 'bout lets get on with the game.
dark3102: (friend talk) amen to that.
dark6481: (friend talk) oh btw i gonna backstab Imp.
dark3102: (friend talk) ya we'll join in..we gotta to kil him anyway.

Yah man thats awsome! amazing you remember some of the crazy stuff we did... and what a clan we, if you reading this, its dark3102... clan chieftain! we had 16 members!!! wooo... big for a sc thing... devil
so remember kids... go assassinate those presidents... they are really... ****ing, annoying!

clans stick out tongue bah

Good to see you, Graham. Should we show this to Paige? Think she'd like it?

chad1118: i'm massing scouts!
dark6481: scouts kinda suck.
chad1118: no they dont assh***
dark6481: (friend talk) ok NOW he's asking for it
dark3102: (friend talk) wut now?
dark6481: (friend talk) he just called me an asshol*!!!!!
dark3102: (friend talk) and ur gonna take that from him?
dark6481: (friend talk) hell no!!!!!!!! i'm backstabbing him to. back me up l8er.
dark1365: (friend talk) go get 'em tiger.
dark1365: (whispers to graham) brad's short of temper these days
dark3102: (whispers back) he was ALWAYS short of temper.
dark1365: (whispers back) no i meant more than usual.
dark3102: (whispers back) how the hell can it get any worse than it atucally is?
dark3102: (friend talk) wut r u 2 massing
dark1365: (friend talk) hydras n mutas
dark6481: (friend talk) BC's.
(MaDRaBbIt attacks dark1365 with a couple of marines and a firebat)
dark1365: wtf rabbit!!!!!!
MaDRaBbIt: hahahahahahahahah die idiot
dark1365: (friend talk) great. the chick's biting me!!!
dark3102: (friend talk) lol
dark6481: (friend talk) lol david's getting whipped by a girl.
dark1365: (friend talk) SHUTTUP!!!!!!
(many eggs suddenly appear next to the many hatcheries.)
dark1365: you wanna BACKSTAB b****??!?! I'll SHOW YOU how to BACKSTAB!!!!!!
(many hydras appear.)
(hydras destroy marines and firebat, and head in general direction of rabbit's base.)

MaDRabBit: no wait, i take it back darky!
dark1365: (friend talk) hey, who else used to call me darky?
dark3102: (friend talk) wasn't it silver?
dark1365: (friend talk) oh yah...
(hydras stop moving)
dark1365: okay, what's your real name, rabbit?
MaDRabBit: jen
dark1365: (friend talk) what was silver's real name agin?
dark3102: (friend talk) thought it was jenny.
dark1365: okay, rabbit, where do you live?
MaDRabBit: texas, why?
dark1365: (friend talk) where did silver live
dark3102: (friend talk) colorado.
(hydras start moving toward rabbit's base)
MaDRabBit: wtf, dark!
dark1365: you passed all the tests, xept 1.
MaDRabBit: what tests?!
(Hydras are attacking rabbits base fiercely)
dark1365: uuhhh...nm.
dark6481: (friend talk) what was that about?
dark1365: (friend talk) thought rabit was silver.
dark6481: (friend talk) total bs! if she was, then she woulda told us that by now!!
dark1365: (friend talk) oh ya i never thought of that
dark6481: (friend talk) youre stupid, david.
dark1365: (friend talk) ah shutup.

dark3102: (friend talk) david, leave rabbit alone, and get your hydras outta there.
dark1365: (friend talk) awwwww y!?
dark3102: (friend talk) just do it!
dark1365: (friend talk) ok, fine.
(hydras stop attacking and move back to dark1365's base)
MaDRabBit: huh?
dark1365: (friend talk) gee graham y'd you make me stop
dark3102: (friend talk) juuuuust trust me.
dark1365: (friend talk) youre not bs'ing me, right?
dark3102: (friend talk) course not.
(red cloaked ghosts move to rabbit's base)
(Nuclear launch detected.)
MaDRabBiT: no, wait! turn it off!
dark3102: (friend talk) ahh....if only if i was playing fanfare right now.
dark1365: (friend talk) lol
(nukes land.)
<MaDRabBit has left the game.>
(On other team's point of view...)
chad1118: wow
chad1118: no we only have to kill the other two darks, eh?
dark6481: yeah
dark6481: sure.
dark6481: but after we bs Imp.
chad1118: oooooh fun.
dark6481: (friend talk) now, the fun thing about BNET is that you cant really detect sarcasm.
dark1365: (friend talk) okay brad, what happened now?
dark3102: (friend talk) did you diss chad yet again?
dark6481: (friend talk) no he's helping us backstab Imp.
dark1365: (friend talk) awesome, and then HE get's backstabbed. irony is cooool.
dark3102: (friend talk) yah, watever. brad, tell him to mass goliaths, and have NO detectors.
dark6481: (friend talk) you're nuking him , arent you?
dark3102: (friend talk) oh yes. very much so.
dark6481: okay, chad, just mass golaiths. i'll cover the detectors.
chad1118: sure can do!
dark6481: (friend talk) chad is a really good example of natural stupidity.
dark3102: (friend talk) what was it matthew used to say?
dark1365: (friend talk) artificial intelligience is no match for natural stupidity.

dark6481: (friend talk) yah, and chad sure has a helluva lotta artificial intelligence.
(5 min later)
dark6481: (friend talk) everyone rdy?
dark3102: (friend talk) i'm hanging back on this one. save the nukes.
dark1365: (friend talk) me got lotsa mutas!
dark6481: (friend talk) that's nice.
dark6481: chad, you rdy?
(chad has two dozen goliaths, 6481 has two dozen BattleCruisers's)
chad1118: yah shure
dark6481: (friend talk) the idiot doesn't even know how to spell.
dark6481: attack!!!!
dark6481: (friend talk) attack!!!!! david.
dark1365: (friend talk) yaaaay
(goliaths and mutas move toward yellow's base.)
chad1118: waiiiit a minute.
chad1118: how come 1365's attacking at the same time?
dark6481: oh gee, look at that.
dark6481: a RARE coincidence...
chad1118: well, i'm bugging out after yellow's killed.
dark6481: fine wit me. (battlecruisers move sluggishly, and finally engages.)
dark6481: oh hell.
dark1365: (friend talk) wut
chad1118: wut
dark6481: they have arbiters and scouts!
dark1365: (friend talk) i try and take out arbiters.
(takes out arbiters, but all mutas die in process.)
(by now, brad's lost 6 BC's.)
dark3102: ta daaaaaaaa
(3102 has many cloaked wraiths, who come and attack scouts)
dark6481: graham, your a lifesaver.
dark3102: (friend talk) thanks.
dark3102: (friend talk) you realize you just said that out loud?
dark6481: (friend talk) uh oh.
chad1118: wait a minute. whos graham?
dark6481: my, uh, friend. who is currently standing, looking over my shoulder right now. i just made the mistake of typing it over the internet, than saying it to him out loud.
dark3102: (friend talk) lol
dark1365: (friend talk) lol
dark6481: and he is currently laughing at me.
chad1118: oh. say hi to him for me.
dark6481: (friend talk) chad says hi.
chad1118: how come he saved your life?
dark6481: well, i was dying of thirst, and he bought me a coke.
cahd1118: wow you have cool friends.
dark6481: (friend talk) thanks for saving my butt, graham. when we et out of dis, i owe you a coke.
dark3102: (friend talk) lol ok...

so sweet man, just like a real game, lol brad thought i was one!!! hilarious... i like my stuff its sweet
cant wait to see some more!!!

ImpKnight: no, wait. mercy!!!
dark6481: no, dumass. you had your chance, and you didn't ally.
ImpKnight: ill ally now.
dark6481: too late.
dark1365: yay! i got lotsa more hydras!
(Battlecruisers bombard Imp's base with Yamato, chad's Goliaths and 3102's Wraiths are kicking butt.)
(Imp is utterly destroyed!)
<ImpKnight has left the game.>
dark1365: yay!
dark3102: i'm getting my wriaths back to base.
chad1118: wait a minute.
chad1118: y didn't he attack me when he had the advantage?
dark6481: cause he took pity on you.
dark6481: he values fair gaming
chad1118: oh wow
chad1118: wish i could be more like him
dark6481: (friend talk) hey, graham. chad wants to be like you when he grows more intelligient.
dark3102: (friend talk) thats nice
dark6481: hey, he says that if you want to be like him...
dark6481: you gotta not use deodorant, and take a shower only once a week.
dark3102: (friend talk) no i didnt
dark1365: (friend talk) shhh graham this is funny
chad1118: gf won't like it but okay.
dark6481: (friend talk) omg the idiot has a girlfriend.
dark1365: (friend talk) youre kidding.
dark6481: (friend talk) no i aint.
dark6481: (friend talk) he's like, "Okay but my gf won't like it"
dark3102: (friend talk) dumass.

chad1118: alllright now we only gotta kill 1365 and 3102!!!!!!
chad1118: yaaaaaay
dark6481: of course we do! yay!
dark6481: (friend talk) can you guys be ready in 5 min? i wanna kill this idiot.
dark1365: (friend talk) of course.
(many eggs appear)
dark3102: (friend talk) shure nukes are alrdy done. im bored.
(3102 starts attacking 1365 with cloaked ghosts)
dark1365: wth graham
dark1365: graham!!!!!!!!!
dark1365: okay cut it out or i start calling you "Griff".
dark1365: you asked for it griff.
(Hydras appear and kill Ghosts, with Overlord as detector)
dark3102: well SORRY, i was bored.
dark1365: and you take it out on me.
dark3102: yah why not!
dark1365: take it out on the tard
dark3102: say who?
dark1365: brads so-called ally.
dark3102: nm 5 min almost up anyways.
(2 min later)
dark1365: (friend talk)AL RIGHT!!! I GOT LOTSA ULTRAS! ME RDY!!
dark6481: (friend talk)yah shutup david. just attack, until he lifts off all his buildings.
dark6481: (friend talk) do dey have speed upgrade?
dark1365: (friend talk) yah
dark6481: good.
chad1118: what is?
dark6481: The Mummy Returns is on soon.
chad1118: good movie.
dark6481: yes. yes it is.
dark3102: (friend talk) another excuse, brad?
dark6481: (friend talk) of course it is.

you should get some war3 convo's

Yeah, my friends suggested that. What do you think of this one?

dark3102: sic him, david! fo boy!
dark1365: okay, but don't put it like that next time!
(ultras start moving toward chad.)
chad1118: AHH!
chad1118: brad, help me!!
dark6481: i told you not to use my real name!!!!!!!!!!!
chad1118: uh oh.
chad1118: but i thought it was okay, since we were friends.
dark6481: ...
dark6481: okay you asked for it, idiot
dark6481: graham bring on the nukes.
chad1118: what!!!!
chad1118: ooh....i thought we were friends.
dark6481: (friend talk) the stupid stupid idiot thought i was his friend.
dark6481: (friend talk) those nukes rdy, graham?
dark3102: oh yes. very much so.
dark3102: better get those ultras outte there david.
dark1365: nah leave em there. the buildings cant float anywhere.
dark3102: uh actually they can.
dark1365: damn!
(ultras go back to zerg base)
(Nuclear launch detect-ed-ed.)
(Nuclear l-l-launch detect-ed-ed.)
chad1118: THAT many nukes!!!?!?!
chad1118: what the hell man!
dark1365: i salute you chad.
dark1365: and save the replay guys.
dark3102: will do!
dark6481: of course.
dark6481: hey chad.
dark6481: see you in hell!
chad1118: ohh.......damn.
(nukes land)
dark6481: good riddance to the dickface.
dark3102: yay. i guess.
(chad1118 has left the game.)
(the end!)

He hasn't played WC much yet, so i think it depends on how much he'll be writing. We have some great stuff to use so Imma gonna bug to write a warcraft one.

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