What POTC characters would NEVER say...
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JaehSkywalker
Last thread of my day...
Norrington: Jack, I really look forward to being with you.. >.<
dun really know if this has been done already...
dhong
Barbossa: Miss Turner would you like to swab my deck.
Will: Where the hell is my bow and arrow.
Jack the Monkey: WHAT!!! you guys didn't know i can talk?
JaehSkywalker

Will's bow and arrow!
JAck: leave the hat...
oh wait, he said that..

diddly-dum
Elizabethy: I've noted my wrong ways and decided to marry Norrington.
katelovespirate
hahaha this is a great thread! so funny.
Jack: I confess. I'm a eunuch.
Will: I confess. I'm a eunuch.
Barbossa: Jack, I feel bad for all the trouble I've caused you. I'm giving the Pearl back to you.
Jack: Will Turner is my best friend.
Elizabeth: Will, Jack, stop arguing. There's plenty of me to go around.
diddly-dum
ya this thread is cool!
Jack(monkey): ee ooo ee oeoeoeo(I'll be nice to Jack from now on)
willofthewisp
Giselle and Scarlett: We're presidents of the Jack Sparrow fan club! Look there he is! Jack! Sign our boobs!
Jack: Wonder what I'd look like without me dreds? (starts undoing his hair)
Will: Yar! (pirate grunt)
willofthewisp
(after Jack proposes to Liz on the Pearl)
Liz: why? Do you want kids?
Jack: I think I'd rather have just a puppy.
Liz: We can adopt Will!
Jack: Now there's an idea!
CaptinJackLover
HAHAHAHAHAHA! thats hilarious!

diddly-dum
THAT WAS FUNNY!!!
willofthewisp
Will: Just once, I want to do something bad. Something naughty. (steals Jack's hat)
jessigem
OMG
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i'm laughing so hard im almost crying right now

i love that song. have you seen the kitty cat dance? it's almost as funny as that.
Jack of Blades
no is it Youtube?
Jack of Blades
Originally posted by Jack of Blades
no is it Youtube?
O and i had a beter version of the song on my computer but my hardrive messed up so i lost it
jessigem
no it's at funnyjunk.com i think.
just search google for "the kitty cat dance" it should pop up.
it's a black and white cat and it's uses a section of that song but it sounds different.
ivebeendepped43
ugh! i HATE warcraft with a burning passion!!!
ivebeendepped43
Originally posted by willofthewisp
(after Jack proposes to Liz on the Pearl)
Liz: why? Do you want kids?
Jack: I think I'd rather have just a puppy.
Liz: We can adopt Will!
Jack: Now there's an idea! i love that! hilarious! that is the best one! "We can adopt Will! Now theres an idea!" i LOVE it!
Jack of Blades
Hmm didnt notice that ROCK ON
Jack of Blades
I just love this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZePJ0gC_yc
ivebeendepped43
didnt notice wat?
Jack of Blades
umm that Dialoge about odapting will
ivebeendepped43
wow, ur not very fast r u?
jessigem
hehe i like that song. it's the song i do the best on when i play DDR.
and i like that lemur's accent. and Madagasgar. awesome movie.
ivebeendepped43
what ddr games do u have?
jessigem
i only have one

i think it's DDR extreme or something like that. i want to get the original one for PS1 but i can't find it. my friend has it though so it's all good.

ivebeendepped43
i have DDR maxx, DDR Maxx2, DDR Extreme,and DDR Extreme 2. yup! i LOVE DDR!
jessigem
THAT"S THE ONE!!!
DDR Max.
i remember now because in the beginning it says DDR MAX...max...max...max like an echo.
ok back on topic. something a character wouldn't say.
Gibbs: Does anybody know the hamster dance?
ivebeendepped43
uummmm let me try one...
Jack: so, which way to the showers?
Jack of Blades
Gibss:Who has my pants?
ivebeendepped43
lol
Elizabeth:Personal hygiene is ove
jessigem
ove?
Jack: Can you make me a sandwich?
Will: make your own damn sandwich.
ivebeendepped43
no, i think that WOULD be said. theres lots of tension btween Jack and will at this point i think considering "The Kiss!"
Jack of Blades
Hmm now this one they woud certainly not say:I love Johny Depp.They woud not say that thats for sure
ivebeendepped43
hahaha! im laughing my head off really! and i meant to say overrated
jessigem
Gibbs: Who wants bacon?
^^[leane]
norrington: i feel like eatin ice cream
willofthewisp
hahahaha, sandwich.
Jack: What are you doing, Mr. Gibbs?
Gibbs: The bacons fryin' on me chest, captain, while I lay here sunbathin'!
Jack: mmmmmm, bacon.
CaptinJackLover
mmm bacon haha luv it!
tia dalma
Will: what mark did you leave on Beckett
Jack: You don't want to know, mate
Jack looks down at Will's......
jessigem
hey willofthewisp used my bacon idea....
oh well.
monkey: *lands on jack's shoulder"
jack: "'ello mate. how've you been?"
Jack of Blades
Jack:Will go to your room you are grounded
Will:O Jack no fair it wasent my fault the MONKEY DRANK YOUR RUM''Sadly walks to his room''
jessigem
so much laughing....
jessigem
yeah it wasn't that funny....
Jack of Blades
ok so now that everybody soped laughing we shoud countine posting these lines''thining about guns''
jessigem
JoB you're supposed to use the ** instead of the "" when you say you're thinking something
with the "" it looks like you're saying it
but i have no ideas
ivebeendepped43
me niether
Jack of Blades
hmm this one well aint that funny but il post it anyways.
i say this on one of the clips from wow
ok so will take it like this
Will:Am i sexy?
Lizz':yes
Will:Im not too sexy am i?
Lizz:No no but he is''Points to Jack''
Jack'

tars singing im to sexy for my shirt so sexy yea it hurts''
jessigem

that's pretty funny.
especially since i can imagine it
willofthewisp
"hey willofthewisp used my bacon idea....
oh well."-------jessigem
I'm sorry. I meant it as an add-on to yours. I saw the bacon bit and thought it was great and gave it a sequel. I apologize.
jessigem
....i wasn't really being serious.....but thanks for apologizing anyways

but yours was better yes
willofthewisp

I think a lot of people on this board are more creative than they give themselves credit for. Yourself included, jessi.
So on a completely different note.....
Jack: (sigh) Not the pirate again, love. I know that's your favorite fantasy and all but....
Liz: You want me to play a different person?
Jack: It would be nice. You're a pirate every day. You shouldn't bring your work home with you, Lizzie.
Liz: Hmmmm, I see your point (comes back in a doctor's outfit)
Jack: What the...
Liz: You want to tell Dr. Liz where it hurts?
Jack: mmmmmmm

jessigem
eek2

i was trying not to laugh but i can't help it

evilm0nki3
hahahhahahahaha Dr. Liz...thats hilarious

jessigem
"you shouldn't bring your work home w/you lizzie."

willofthewisp
Liz: So tell me where it hurts
Jack: Are we being serious because.... (Liz kisses him)
Jack: It hurts everywhere, love.
Liz: Then I should examine you.
Jack: (playing) I don't know....I'm in a lot of pain
Liz: Trust me. I'm a doctor
Gibbs (listening): This is so hot.
CaptinJackLover
hahahahaha luv it!
choosewisely
Will: hey jack, my ipod's totally broken
Jack : oh dear god! we better set sail to the tortuga apple store
jessigem
hysterical
what a tragedy. i feel his pain though

sailorleo
Will: You cheated...
Liz: Pirate.....(couldn't help it)
T.Maria
Elizabeth: "Curiosity killed the cat, Jack..."
Jack: "Yeah well...the cat was a pussy..."
Bad attempt I know .... lol
jessigem
at least it was an attempt....can't say the same for myself

willofthewisp
Pussycat, pussycat, I love you (singing)
Oh yeah, things the characters would never say.
Uh........
Jack: Are you sure about everything you've just said? How do you know so much?
Tia Dalma: Well, I attended Harvard Business school, after which I traveled to several countries, absorbing numerous languages, but alas I could not master the semantics and syntax and therefore entered Juliard late in life as a mezzo soprano. After that I served with the British Royal Air Force shooting down Nazis during the war...
Jack: Wouldn't you rather just take the monkey?
jessigem

thats the huh face

i was laughing at the song
katelovespirate
Originally posted by willofthewisp
Liz: So tell me where it hurts
Jack: Are we being serious because.... (Liz kisses him)
Jack: It hurts everywhere, love.
Liz: Then I should examine you.
Jack: (playing) I don't know....I'm in a lot of pain
Liz: Trust me. I'm a doctor
Gibbs (listening): This is so hot.
LMAO ina HUGE WAY> this is the best thing ever. willofawisp, you are my favorite thing ever. YOU ARE BRILLIANT>>!
Bwa Ha Ha
Argh, it still get's the point across!!!vampire
katelovespirate
awe we need to keep this thread alive. its so funny.
jessigem
yeah but im out of ideas i think.....it'll take me a minute......
ok maybe longer than a minute. ill have one tomorrow i promise

dhong
jack: Look... *shoots* an undead monkey.
jack the monkey: ..................................................
jack: hmmm, guess not. Right i'll find you another one then.
jessigem
but poor monkey!
diddly-dum
lol
Norri: Elizabeth, I hate you and would never want to marry you
Liz:well that's a pity,.. I LOVE you!
stupid,.. but w/e
jessigem
im in the process of coming up with one. i promised KLP
diddly-dum
Gov Swann(drunk and singing): Give me a pirate Daugh-ter, Give me a pirate so-n.Oh a pirates life I want.
i can't think of anything fuuny
choosewisely

Jack the monky : Bark
dhong
Gibbs: Hey Cap'n what do you think would be cooler. A pegged Leg or A hook for a hand?
Jack: It Depends mate.... Tell me how do you wipe your down under?
Gibbs: ...... Pegged legs it is.
willofthewisp
wow, dhong. Crude, bawdy, gross, and hysterical.
*jcd*gmc*
Davey Jones: I'll let you slide just this once Jack, but next time, YOU'RE KRAKEN FOOD!!
Jack: I'm giving the Pearl back to Barbossa.
Will: Tia Dalma is so much hotter then you, Liz
dhong
Davy Jones: I love sushi.
jessigem

sushi
JaehSkywalker
Jack: welcome to my chocolate factory!

jessigem

even better!!
oh no i promised to have something by today......and i dont.

JaehSkywalker
susheeeee!
jessigem
oh no wait!! you gave me an idea jaeh!!
jack: (to the cannibals)just so you know, cannibalism is frowned upon in most countries.
cannibals: *look at each other, then back at jack* maleeky reeky
jack: *shakes head* that means you can't eat me
i know. it sucks. but its late and im tired

JaehSkywalker
that's funny!
didn't really say but do.. i'd like to see him do this...
Jack: dance
dhong
Davy Jones: Commodore Norrington finally i have found you.
Norrington: What is it that you want.
Davy Jones: I need you to hear this
*sings*
" don't break my heart,
My achy breaky heart,
I just don't think he'd understand.
And if you break my heart,
My achy breaky heart,
He might blow up and kill this man. whooo"
katelovespirate
Originally posted by dhong
Davy Jones: Commodore Norrington finally i have found you.
Norrington: What is it that you want.
Davy Jones: I need you to hear this
*sings*
" don't break my heart,
My achy breaky heart,
I just don't think he'd understand.
And if you break my heart,
My achy breaky heart,
He might blow up and kill this man. whooo"
hilarious... just hilarious. i can SO picture him doing that.
willofthewisp
That's great! A montage of heart songs sung by Davy
Davy: Don't go breakin' my heart
Tia: I won't go breakin' your heart.
jessigem

i think dhong's the best at this stuff

Bwa Ha Ha
Kraken

while being chopped into tiny bits with axes) I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!
dhong
Barbossa: Now remember jack... An apple a day keeps the kraken away.
diddly-dum
Liz: Jack you bring a compass??
Jack:yup!*holds up math compass*
Liz:*smacks her hand on her head*How in the world are we gonna get outta the jungle with that???
Kairiminé
Jack: Have all my rum..i do not need it any more
sailorleo
kraken: (to jones) You know what! I've had it up to HERE mister! I'm not your beyatch!! You know what? I QUIT!!!!! (goes on strike)
Kairiminé
Jack: Barbossa..do me a favor and kiss me just once
dhong
Originally posted by sailorleo
kraken: (to jones) You know what! I've had it up to HERE mister! I'm not your beyatch!! You know what? I QUIT!!!!! (goes on strike)
Davy Jones: All right then. You win You win. From now on when i'll call you i won't be shoutin "SUMMON THE KRAKEN". instead i'll play "Eye of the Tiger" for your intro just as you like. Then shout
'In this corner weighing a million tons and hailing from the darkest abyss of the caribbean. KRAKEN McKRAKEN."
Kairiminé
Originally posted by dhong
Davy Jones: All right then. You win You win. From now on when i'll call you i won't be shoutin "SUMMON THE KRAKEN". instead i'll play "Eye of the Tiger" for your intro just as you like. Then shout
'In this corner weighing a million tons and hailing from the darkest abyss of the caribbean. KRAKEN McKRAKEN."
lol1
................................................
Captain Jack Sparrow-it's a world of laughter a world of tears
Elizabeth-a world of hopes, And a world of fears.
captain Jack sparrow- There's so much that we share,
That it's time we're aware,
elizabeth and jack sparrow both- It's a small world after all
jack sparrow- It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all.
It's a small, small world
Elizabeth-There is just one moon,
And one golden sun.
And a smile means,
Friendship to every one.
Though the mountains divide,
And the oceans are wide,
It's a small world after all.
jack sparrow- i love this song. when we get the ship back we will teach it to the whole crew
elizabeth- what crew?
Chiki Mina
Elizabeth: Im not gonna choose Will or Jack..im gonna choose Tia
Maple Sugar
Jack Sparrow-(to elizabeth) Bite me!
Elizabeth- okay
Jack Sparrow-No No i didn't mean it
* elizabeth bites him*
Jack Sparrow- Ouch that hurt
ivebeendepped43
jack is so ssexxi!!!!!
airemaye
Elizabeth: Where's the rum? I NEED SOME RUM.
Jack: I burned it. Ghastly stuff. I've discovered something much better... *holds up glass of water*
Pirates of the Ghetto: Curse of the Bad Weed.
Will: Yo, what up dawg?
Jack: Chillin' homie, you?
Will: Just chillin' out.
Elizabeth: What the **** are you dudes doin'?
Will: Just gettin' high, you know.
Jack: My homie G Davy Jones got us some free weed.
*everyone dies*
Davy Jones: Screw this ruling the ocean ****. I'm gonna start up an EMO band...Bootstrap, can you play bass guitar?
Jack: You can just call me "Mr. Sparrow."
Will: Lizzie...I'm sorry...
Elizabeth: What?
Will: I'm gay.
Elizabeth:...
Jack: I so totally called that. Wanna have a threesome?
JaehSkywalker
Jack: from now on I'm leaving the title 'captain'.
Jack: I'm sticking to juice! rum tastes bad.
Liz: Are you sure?
Jack: I'm always sure...
Ok. i dun have anything good. >.<
Maple Sugar
Jack-Will,I love you
Will-Well that is good since i am a eunich after all
katelovespirate
Originally posted by airemaye
Elizabeth: Where's the rum? I NEED SOME RUM.
Jack: I burned it. Ghastly stuff. I've discovered something much better... *holds up glass of water*
Pirates of the Ghetto: Curse of the Bad Weed.
Will: Yo, what up dawg?
Jack: Chillin' homie, you?
Will: Just chillin' out.
Elizabeth: What the **** are you dudes doin'?
Will: Just gettin' high, you know.
Jack: My homie G Davy Jones got us some free weed.
*everyone dies*
Davy Jones: Screw this ruling the ocean ****. I'm gonna start up an EMO band...Bootstrap, can you play bass guitar?
Jack: You can just call me "Mr. Sparrow."
Will: Lizzie...I'm sorry...
Elizabeth: What?
Will: I'm gay.
Elizabeth:...
Jack: I so totally called that. Wanna have a threesome?
those are HILARIOUS. seriously. curse of the bad weed.... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! i smell a spoof...
Chiki Mina
Elizabeth: corsets rocks!
sailorleo
Liz: (after the kiss) Yes sir you are welcome (bill engvall fans would get it)
jessigem
Originally posted by Maple Sugar
lol1
................................................
Captain Jack Sparrow-it's a world of laughter a world of tears
Elizabeth-a world of hopes, And a world of fears.
captain Jack sparrow- There's so much that we share,
That it's time we're aware,
elizabeth and jack sparrow both- It's a small world after all
jack sparrow- It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all.
It's a small, small world
Elizabeth-There is just one moon,
And one golden sun.
And a smile means,
Friendship to every one.
Though the mountains divide,
And the oceans are wide,
It's a small world after all.
jack sparrow- i love this song. when we get the ship back we will teach it to the whole crew
elizabeth- what crew?
omg i HATE that friggin song!! but it's funny when they sing it

JaehSkywalker
Chiki Mina, your sig's weird..

jessigem
what, the "killed the pirate" line?
it's true though

willofthewisp
Back to what characters would never say.
Will: Here they come, more pirates.
Jack: Drive by
Will: What?
Jack: After we do the drive by, we'll pimp this ride and it'll be the shiznit.
Gibbs: Tru dat
(they shoot a bunch of cannons at a passing ship)
Will: So that's a drive by
Jack: Fo shizzle
JaehSkywalker
Jack: *singing karaoke* I'm doing it myyyyyy waaaayyyyyyy....
>.<
lol willofthewisp
CaptinJackLover
willofthewisp your hilarious!
jessigem
fo shizzle
Jack of Blades
Jack:I hate rum and i will never drink it again
ivebeendepped43
lol Jack would NEVER say that! good one JoB!
Jack of Blades
I know he woudnt thats why i posted it.Thank you
ivebeendepped43
hhmmm i cant think of one!
Jack of Blades
Ok then i can
Liz:Im sorry Will but the sea is my true love(I have never heard this line from a girl so that woud be someting new)
JaehSkywalker
Will: liz, i need space. lets break up...
diddly-dum
Will: Wheres the rum??
katelovespirate
Originally posted by diddly-dum
Will: Wheres the rum??
actually, i can see him saying this in 3. he might turn into an alcoholic, ya never know.

diddly-dum
oh you popped my bubble
Jack of Blades
Jack:You Never Heard of The Milenium Falcon?
Jack of Blades
jack:Mr Gibss Never Told you what happened to your father
Will:He told me enaugh,he told me you kiled him
jack:No will i am your father
Will:Noooooooo wait say what your not my father
jack

sorry wrong movie(Looks in to hes script)
Jack of Blades
umm hmm cant think of anything new.anybody else?
katelovespirate
A day in the life of Jack, with his own personal translator...
Jack wakes up next to a random wench.
Jack: I had a wonderful time last night.
Translator: Who the hell are you?
Jack is met by Mr. Gibbs
Gibbs: Captain, where have you been?
Jack: Complications arose, ensued and were overcome..
Translator: I had to sleep with a few people to escape.
Jack sees Elizabeth and walks over to her.
Elizabeth: Jack, we need to talk.
Translator: Jack, I'm pregnant.
Jack of Blades
Coutinue of the one above
Jack:WHAT!?
Tranlator:Yes jack
jack:Umm who is the Father?
Tranlator:How shoud i know this isnt the Twenty First Century you know
katelovespirate
Jack: Have you thought through all the possibilities?
Translation: Have you talked to Will lately?
A different day. Will and Liz are talking.
Liz: It's not you, it's me
Translation: Its not me, its you.
Liz: I think we should see other people
Translation: I have already been seeing other people.
lol
willofthewisp
Will: But how could you kiss Jack?
Translation: How could you NOT kiss Jack, especially when I'm such a puss?
Liz: It was to save us all
Translation: Because if I didn't, I would have killed everyone on here to get rid of that energy.
Will: And do you regret it?
Liz: Some
Translation: Yeah, regretting I didn't do it soon enough.
katelovespirate
Originally posted by willofthewisp
Will: But how could you kiss Jack?
Translation: How could you NOT kiss Jack, especially when I'm such a puss?
Liz: It was to save us all
Translation: Because if I didn't, I would have killed everyone on here to get rid of that energy.
Will: And do you regret it?
Liz: Some
Translation: Yeah, regretting I didn't do it soon enough.
i just had the biggest giggle of my life from this.
that is HILARIOUS.
keep going with it!

katelovespirate
Jack: I was mildly surprised when you chained me up.
Translation: I never realized you were so kinky.
Liz: It was a tough decision
Translation: I knew we didnt have time to go to the cabin.
Jack: Did the compass help you decide in the end?
Translation: Did your screaming hormones and raging emotions finally get through to you?
Liz: Oh Jack...
Translation: Shut up and kiss me.
willofthewisp
From the actual movie (paraphrased of course. I'm lazy)
Jack: You'll come over to my side. I know it.
Translation: And then from my side into the cabin
Liz: You seem very certain
Translation: And hot, don't forget hot.
Jack: One word, love, curiosity.
Translation: I'm undressing you with my eyes even as we speak.
(some dialogue, cuts down to her not being able to resist)
Liz: Why doesn't your compass work?
Translation: How much do you want me?
Jack: My compass works fine.
Translation: You won't win that easily....yet

katelovespirate
HAHAHAHA this thread is so fun. you are so funny LOL...
Liz: I just thought i'd be married by now. I'm so ready to be married.
Translation: The lingerie i was going to wear was stunning. i'm so ready to get laid.
Jack: You know Lizzie, I am the captain of a ship, and being so, i can perform a marriage right here, right on this deck, right now.
translation: You know sexy woman i cant get out of my head, i am pretty experienced in that area, and the deck of the ship would make the perfect area for us to explore that together.
Liz: no thank you
translation: there are people around.
Jack: why not? we are very much alike you and I... I and you... US...
translation: they wouldnt mind- we both look hott naked.
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