Things SW characters will NEVER say...

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dgeniu
Chewie: Hello!

Well, my inspiration`s on holiday.... stick out tongue

Anyone got any better ideas?

Lord Caltor
oops i chipped a nail...

honny i sabered the kids

hey han lets go to the GAY BAR GAY BAR GAY BAR!!!

Dont try this at home kids

umm i kinda blew myself up

Atlantis001
Marka Ragnos : Now, I want everyone to be happy !

dgeniu
Kreia: Peace, man, peace! Don`t cry, lil kid, let me give you a hug!

Fishy
Luke: Mesa horny, mesa wanna... eat cookie

dgeniu
Jar Jar: E=mc2. Elemental, my dear Jedi. (puffs his pipe)
Yoda(with fitting hairdo): Punk`s not dead!!

chubbychipmunk
r2d2: yo, wut's up??

c3po: i swear to god i want to kill that mother f****r

ob1:screw this job, hey, bar tender! pass a whiskey! beer

anakin:i hate you padme

yoda:damn it!!!! y do I always get the wimpy, short light saber!! JESUS CHRIST!!

darth: I LOVE EVERYONE!! YYYYYYYYYAYYYY!!!!!

El_NINO
Luke: FOR THE LAST F**KIN TIME... I WILL NOT JOIN THE DARK SIDE SO STOP ASKIN!!!

Anikin: (flips over Obi Wan while his legs and arm get cut off) oh crap!!!

chubbychipmunk
oh i got another one....


anakin: (after padme tells him she's pregenant)............oh ****. what are we going to do???!!! damn it, i knew we shouldn't of gone to the bar!!!

anakin: (after sidious talks n' stuff) "i knew it was you!! *flips off emporer* u can just shove that saber up your evil a**

Darth_Rankkor
anakin (when sidious reveals himself): I knew it was you all the time pops but I've ot a better one for you old fa*t .... (drumrole) ... I am Plagueis you back stabbing son of a B*AT*H

Tulak Hord
I got one.

Tulak Hord: You beat me in a saber duel!

SithHappens
Qui-Gon - We must obey the Council

Emperor Revan
Jar Jar: Palpatine, I know yousa is thesa sith lord! *whips out a blaster and blows a hole through Palpy's face*

Fishy
Yoda: Fight later we will, need to take a shit, I do.

Emperor Revan
Sidious: hey Yoda, you're lookin hot!
Yoda: That's it! I wasn't gonna kill you but that would be worth turning to the dark side!
*Yoda fries Sidious with Force lightning and goes off to conquer the Republic*

((The_Anomaly))
han: "im sure luke wasnet on that thing when it blew"
Leia: "no, he wasent, i can feel it"
han: "you love him dont you"
leia: "yes of course......."
han: "ok, ok! ill leave you 2 alone then"
Leia: "ohh no, its not like that......hes my brother"
han: "your brother!!??"
leia: "yes...my brother....i love him, hes a far better kisser then you han.."

han: ".................................." What the f**k?

Darth_Rankkor
Originally posted by ((The_Anomaly))
han: "im sure luke wasnet on that thing when it blew"
Leia: "no, he wasent, i can feel it"
han: "you love him dont you"
leia: "yes of course......."
han: "ok, ok! ill leave you 2 alone then"
Leia: "ohh no, its not like that......hes my brother"
han: "your brother!!??"
leia: "yes...my brother....i love him, hes a far better kisser then you han.."

han: ".................................." What the f**k?

continuing

leia: Don't worry han, we can do a threesome

HAHAHAHAHA laughing laughing laughing

Protector
Originally posted by Darth_Rankkor
continuing

leia: Don't worry han, we can do a threesome

HAHAHAHAHA laughing laughing laughing

Countinuing

Han: I know

Illustrious
Anakin : Damn, so much for contraception.

Windu : Hey, old buddy, want to go buy some death sticks?
Obi-Wan: Did I hear deathsticks?

Sidious : Arrgh, I knew I shoulda used Energizer.

chubbychipmunk
poop no expression

Tulak Hord
Vader: Luke, I am not your father.

Darth_Rankkor
Originally posted by Tulak Hord
Vader: Luke, I am not your father.

Emperor: Yeah, that's right. That would be me. I AM your father, luke

(stormtrooper enters the room) No, no. I am your father

(luke opens his eyes almost losing them out of their sockets) Jaba the hut enters NO NO, I'm not dead AND I AM your true father

Luke sabers himself to death

El_NINO
Sidious: Execute order 66!!!
Cody: Yes Sir
..............................

(Cody looks to his left at another clone trooper)
Cody: WTF's order 66!!

Tulak Hord
Anakin: I will listen to your undying wisdom, master.

Darth_Rankkor
Originally posted by El_NINO
Sidious: Execute order 66!!!
Cody: Yes Sir
..............................

(Cody looks to his left at another clone trooper)
Cody: WTF's order 66!!

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing

kamikz
Yoda: Hello, I'm talking like a normal person.

Darth_Rankkor
Originally posted by kamikz
Yoda: Hello, I'm talking like a normal person.


Ben: talking like you, now I am, f*c*king green midget

jerlark386
Obi-Wan looks down on severed Vader, clutching to the rocks for his life.

Obi-Wan:"Paybacks a ***** ain't it!!"


Obi-Wan pauses thoughtfully.
Obi-Wan:"You know I never did like you, even as little boy."
Obi-Wan:"..always a whiny mother****er."

Anakin/Vader starts to burn.

Obi-Wan laughs.
Obi-Wan:"Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!"
Obi-Wan chuckles at his own humor.
Obi-Wan:"Come on baby light my fire" "Try to set the night on fire!!!"

Obi-Wan:"Wait, wait, I got another one."
Obi-Wan:"It getting hot in herrre."
Obi-Wan starts to dance.

Obi-Wan doubles over in laughter.
Obi-Wan:"I'm too much, really I know."

Anakin: "I hate you."

Obi-Wan(sarcastically):"Well I love you too Anakin."

Anakin crawls farther up the hill.

Obi-Wan put his hand under chin, pauses to recollect.

Obi-Wan:"Now if I remember correctly, I owned you, no in fact I raped you. Soo..."
Obi-Wan:"why are you still moving?"

Anakin groans.
Obi-Wan shrugs.
Obi-Wan: "Well in anycase, your ****ed."

Obi-Wan forces pushes Anakin into the lava.

Obi-Wan makes a gesture as if to dust of his shoulder.

As he walks away he sings to himself
"Its getting hot in herrre. I am getting so hot I want to take my clothes off."

Obi-Wan:"Shit, it really is hot in here. Damn these hot-ass robes."

Emperor Revan
Obi watches as Anakin catches fire.

Obi pulls out a cigar and lights it off of Anakin's flaming head.

Obi: I told you not to try it, but no, you wouldn't listen.

Obi starts roasting marshmallows from Anakin's head.

Obi: Some prophecy, I wish Qui-Gon were here so I could tell him what a fat head he is for making me waste 13 long years of my life, training your sorry ass. Oh, and by the way, you're not the father of Padme's baby, I AM.

Obi pours gasoline on Anakin and walks off muttering what a worthless apprentice Anakin was...

jerlark386
nice one, revan.


another one

Anakin and Padme are in bed.

Padme giggles.

Padme:"Oh stop using the force. I know you're not THAT big!"

Emperor Revan
Lol, wonder how she got pregnant?



*Vader walks along his deck and trips over one of the people he recently choked to death.*

Stupid bodies! I need some assistants to come and drag these guys away and load them into our cannons once they're dead!

MAKASHIMAN
Han to Luke;Teach me the ways of the force.

Black Waltz #3
Uncle owen: I suppose your etiquette and protocol
C-3PO: yes sir it is my primary function
Uncle Owen:I have no need for a protocol droid
C-3PO: are you looking for a fight sir (then beats uncle owen to death with a jawa)

Tulak Hord
HK-47: I don't want to fight right now.

((The_Anomaly))
Originally posted by Black Waltz #3
Uncle owen: I suppose your etiquette and protocol
C-3PO: yes sir it is my primary function
Uncle Owen:I have no need for a protocol droid
C-3PO: are you looking for a fight sir (then beats uncle owen to death with a jawa)

LOL!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAAHHA

that was good...haha

ahhhhhhhhh

Great Vengeance
Yoda:Come anakin a secret I must tell
Anakin:what master?
Yoda slices anakin limb from limb
Anakin:How could you do this! Im the chosen one!
Yoda:No you whiny little bastard..I was the chosen one all along! LOLOLOLOLOL *blows anakins head off*

Tulak Hord
Han: You were right, I was wrong.

Gen. Grevious
*emperor Palpatine is on the death star walking past the stormtroopers
one stormtrooper whispers to another* "the emperor has a saggy bum chin" the other starts laughing. emperor palpatine:i heard that! *blasts them with sith lightning...

Gen. Grevious
Jedi Youngling: Master Skywalker! There are too many troops! What should we do?

Jedi Youngling: Why are you igniting your lightsaber Master Skywalker? what are you gonna do?
Anakin: Um.....im going to.......um...give you a haircut...yes thats a convincing lie....

dflood
chubbychipmunk:::::i hate anakin stick out tongue

Darth_Rankkor
The younglings beat the crap out of ani and he shows up near the clone commander seeking help with one yongling still grabed to his hair:

Anakin: Please, help me aaaaaaaaaah!

Clone to Cmd: Oh christ! Why do we have to hang with this loser!?

Cmdr: Emperor's orders ... sighs.... Kill him, I won't tell. We'll say that he fell in battle. We'll have our 65464861565645616546546164 brothers to back up our lie

Emperor Revan
Anakin jumps off of speeder towards Zam's speeder and misses.

Anakin: ****, oh well, my master will come and rescue me.

Anakin looks up to see Obi's speeder going in the completely opposite direction.

Anakin: D*** Darth Maul! if he hadn't killed Qui-Gon...

JLRTENJAC
Darth Vader: You have insulted me... so I will promote you to admeral.
Stormtrooper: WHAT! I DON'T WANT TO BE ADMERAL!

Darth-Yareal
Yoda to Mace; Master Windu, the use of rogaine against the jedi code it is not.

Darth_Rankkor
Sidious: Execute order 66
Cody: WHAT?! YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND OLD BAG. NOW THAT WE'RE WINNING??!!! FORGET IT PAL. IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. I'M GONNA TELL

Tulak Hord
Originally posted by Darth-Yareal
Yoda to Mace; Master Windu, the use of rogaine against the jedi code it is not.

eek! laughing out loud You don't miss a beat, do you? laughing

Darth_Rankkor
younglings beat the crap off the clones

Emperor Revan
Palpatine: Execute order 66!

Cody: Yeah right, maybe if you had told me BEFORE I gave him back his lightsaber. You do it yourself fat head.

Two clones on Kashyyk: Against Master Yoda? Do you think we're retards or something? Maybe if we had the death star or something...

Nai Fohl

Darth_Rankkor
LOLOLOLOLLOLOL

Qui gon: Republic credits will do
Watto: stop wavering that f*ck*n hand and stick up yer a*se

Sidious: Rise
Vader: Not now. I'm a bit tired I'll stay here if you don't mind.

C3P0. beebpepej
R2D2: WTF are you talkin about?!

Han: so, you and luke...
Leia: Are you mad. Luke's just a kid. I shagged chewie
Han: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Emperor Revan
lol, nice ones Nai Fohl.

Yoda reflects lightning back at Dooku, nearly killing him.
Dooku: Holy s***! I'm outta here!

Maul kills Qui-Gon.
Obi: YEEESSSS!!!!! You have no idea how annoying that guy's preaching would get. (whiny imitative voice) I don't sense anything! Be mindful of the living force and not of the future! Anakin is the chosen One! This gungan may be of help! (stops imitating). Quick, kill him before he makes me promise to train that whiny brat or something!

Darth_Rankkor
jar jar: whatas that ani?
Ani (young age): It's my lighsaber. I've built it when I was still in my mothers belly
jar jar : show tosa me (jar jar grabs the saber and ignites it directly in the face
ani: Holy shit, now that's pod racing

Emperor Revan
*TPM Anakin is coming out of the trade federation ship in his naboo starfighter stupidly cheering when he's not even out of the blast radius. He gets blown up.*
Nabo Pilots: Good riddance. That d*** 9 year old made us look bad by accidentally being forced into the ship, accidentally landing in perfect firing radius of the core, and accidentally firing proton torpedoes right at the core.

Obi: Use the Force luke! Let go Luke!
*Luke shoots a proton torpedo at the Death Star... and misses.*
Luke: Thanks Ben, I knew I could count on you to talk me out of using a perfectly good targeting computer that can fire stuff within a hair's breath of the target, and make me look bad by NOT destroying this moon sized battle station and letting the Rebel Alliance and only hope of freedom die because you...
*Millenium Falcon blasts Luke's X-Wing into oblivion before going into hyperspace.*
Han: he's worse than the princess! Just won't shut up...

ESB Yoda (talking to Obi's spirit about Luke): Much whininess I sense in him. like his father.

Darth Rankkor: I loved your last quotes about Sidious and Vader, then about Han and Leia. LMAO.

MAKASHIMAN
Qui-gonn to Watto; Republic credits will do fine. Watto to Qui-gonn; Okey dokey.

Tulak Hord
Chewie: Rar Raaawar rar rer wraaaaaaaaa argh ag raaaaa rah ah ah raaaaaaaaargh.

Nai Fohl
Beginning of ROTS:

OBI-WAN: Artoo, locate the Chancellor.
ANAKIN: Tap into the ship's computers.
ARTOO: Screw you !

OBI-WAN: I sense a trap.
ANAKIN: Next move?
OBI-WAN: Take that vibrator out of my ...

Obi-Wan leaving Padmes bedroom:
OBI-WAN: You still have much to learn, Anakin.

Battle droids trying to arrest Anakin and Obi-Wan:
DROID 1: Hands up, Jedi! Don't move.
DROID 2: Roger, roger.
DROID 3: Siegfried, Siegfried.
DROID 4: Roy, Roy.

Anakin facing Dooku:
ANAKIN: My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count. I am twice as powerful. Two times. 200 %. Can you count, Count ?

Anakin standing in a big puddle:
ANAKIN: ... I couldn't stop myself.

Padme talking to Anakin:
PADME: Annie, I want to have our baby back home on Naboo. We could go to the lake country where no one would know . . . where we would be safe. Where we can do it like rabbits. Where you can **** me like an animal...

After Anakins nightmare/vision about Padme dying:
PADME: Annie are you ok ? Annie are you ok ? Are you ok, Annie ?

Obi-Wan talking to Padme:
OBI-WAN: Anakin is the father, isn't he?
PADME: You won't get away without paying alimonies.

MAKASHIMAN
Sidious in his office after Yoda walks in;did you bring the hieniken? beer beer

MAKASHIMAN
Mace Windu; Have a taste of my new beer Samuel Jackson, MMMM,MMMM be--octh

Tulak Hord
eek! Nai Fohl should do stand up!

Emperor Revan
LMAO!!! That was awesome Nai Fohl!

Anakin: I see through your lies Palpatine, I know you're lying to me and trying to get me to turn to the dark side so I will try and kill my best friend, kill my wife, kill all the Jedi, save your life, and do all of your work for you. What do you think I am? A nitwit?
Palpatine: uh...

DARTH BARAKA
yoda:smoke weed against the jedi code is not
yoda:huff:huff:come general grevase weed we smoke
greves:yes :huff:huff:
yoda: and bring stash u must! :huff:huff:

Nai Fohl
Ah...well. Thank you for the applause. wink

I just go on...

Beginning of TPM:
CAPTAIN : With all due respect for the Trade Federation, the Ambassodors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately.
NUTE GUNRAY: Yes, yes, of coarse...ahhh...as you know, our blockade is perfectly legal, except that great amount of dope, crack, heroin, porn movies, hookers and stuff like that lying around here. Well...wait a second until we cleaned the place.

OBI-WAN : I have a bad feeling about this.
QUI-GON : I don't sense anything.
OBI-WAN : Of course you do not, you stupid old fool. I guess just because of your stupidity the Sith will return for the single reason to kick your senile a$$ over the place.

Destroyer droids movin in:
OBI-WAN : They have shield generators!
QUI-GON : Oh ? Yes ? I nearly didn't see that ****ing balls of blue energy surrounding them, you ****ing genious !

Qui-Gon meeting Jar Jar:
QUI-GON : Are you brainless? You almost got us killed!
JAR JAR : I spake.
QUI-GON: Yeah, right. Try that again after having me kicked the goddamn teeth out of your mouth.

Qui-Gon and Jar Jar meeting Obi-Wan:
QUI-GON : You hear that?
JAR JAR shakes his head yes.
QUI-GON : That's the sound of a thousand terrible things heading
this way...
OBI-WAN : And can you see that ?
OBI-WAN makes a fist holding it in front of Jar Jars eyes.
OBI-WAN : That's the look of the thing that will crush you, grind you into little pieces and blast you into oblivion !

Talking to Boss Nass:
OBI-WAN : You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to noe of you will affect the other. You must understand this.
BOSS NASS : Wesa wish no nutten in yousa tings, outlaunder, and wesa no care-n about da Naboo except da Naboos girls we woulda like ta **** with.

Sidious introducing Darth Maul:
DARTH SIDIOUS : ...Viceroy, this is my apprentice. Lord Maul. Lord MAUL ! M - A - U - L ! Did you get that you bad excuses for intelligent life forms. Just to check it...what is his name ?
NUTE GUNRAY: Erm...erm...Mmm...Mmmm....Mmmmaaaa...Mmmaaa....Mmmaaaauuu...Maaaaauuul ?
DARTH SIDIOUS: Great. A smart one... He will find your lost ship.
NUTE GUNRAY: What ship ?
DARTH SIDIOUS: This day is getting looooooooong...


Entering Wattos shop on Tatooine:
WATTO : (subtitled) Hi chuba da naga? (What do you want?)
QUI-GON : I don't speak your ****ing language but since I don't care about what you say you can just give me some parts for a J-type 327 Nubian, idiot !

ANAKIN : Are you an angel ?
PADME : Are you on drugs ?

ANAKIN : I am a person! My name is Anakin.
PADME : Yeah...just keep telling that to yourself until you believe it, you wise guy.

ANAKIN showing C3-PO to PADME:
ANAKIN : Isn't he great?! He's not finished yet.
PADME : He's wonderful!
ANAKIN : Watch ! He is just lying on a bed ! A B-E-D ! Do you know what I think ?
PADME: That's discusting.
ANAKIN: Come on, hot mama !
PADME: Ohhhh....this terrible headache...too bad...sorry Annie.

Maul reporting to Sidious:
DARTH MAUL : Tatooine is sparsely populated. If the trace was correct, I will find them quickly, Master.
DARTH SIDIOUS: Now stop joking, idiot. You can't even find snow on the planet Hoth.

Qui-Gon talking to Anakin:
ANAKIN: You have a lightsaber !
QUI-GON : Perhaps I killed a Jedi and stole it from him.
ANAKIN : I don't think so... No one can kill a Jedi Knight.
QUI-GON : Do you want to bet on that thing ? I'm getting killed in less than 60 minutes !

Looking at the stars:
ANAKIN : There are so many! Do they all have a system of planets?
QUI-GON : Most of them.
ANAKIN : I want to destroy them all. Trillions of dead people. Genocide. Gnihihihihi.
QUI-GON: STFU, punk !


QUI-GON : Make an analysis of this blood sample I'm sending you.
OBI-WAN : Wait a minute...You can't send a ****ing blood sample through a comlink !
QUI-GON : Of course I can...I'm the master here.
OBI-WAN : All right. I've got it.

Gen. Grevious
Qui gon: republic credits will do fine *waves hand*
Watto: no they wont! im a toyderian mind tricks dont work on me...only lightsabers..
Qui Gon: well in that case *ignites lightsaber*
Watto: oh....shit!

Darth_Rankkor
hahahaha

Well, here goes nothing:

Jabba: If you say sorry I'll kill fast. If you don't that sh*thole down there will eat you for 35436156161658168461656468468468 years

Han: Okey

====

Yoda: for 900 years jedis I've trained
Luke: haha! ... get outta here you senile f@rt

====

Leia: Han...
Han: Yes? (brow raised)
Leia: I also shagged the little bear while lost in the woods
Han: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

====

Rancor Beast: Are you mad you f*ckin worm sh1t? He's a jedi. I'll be dead in less than a minute with that spiked gate falling in me head. Ya want him dead? Come kill yer self ya worthless piece of sh1t

====

Anakin: I'm twice more powerful than the last time we met, count
Dooku: so?
anakin: means this time I'll kill you
Dooku: so?
anakin: FOR F*CK SAKE. I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS. HE'S SENILE GL
Dooku: so?


stick out tongue

MAKASHIMAN
Owen; Luke get your a$$ uot here right now, quit monkeying around with that damn landspeeder, whera are thore two droide I asked you to clean boy?!...did you clean your room?!

Black Waltz #3
Ep1 C-3PO: why am I the only one to do a nude scene in this movie

Darth_Frobo
Anakin:I should think before I act

Darth_Rankkor
bi 1: I wish I could be like anakin

Emperor Revan
Originally posted by Black Waltz #3
Ep1 C-3PO: why am I the only one to do a nude scene in this movie

Padme: Why is C-3PO the only one to do a nude scene in this movie?

Gen. Grevious
lol
Owen: I wanna do a nude scene in this movie

Gen. Grevious
Originally posted by Gen. Grevious
lol
Shmi: I wanna do a nude scene in this movie

General Zodiac
Empire Strikes Back
Vader: Luke, Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!!
Vader: No. I am your father.
Luke: WHAT!? (Holds up his arm with the missing hand) You don't know this right now but I'm flicking you off!!

Tangible God
(Anakin to Padme after telling him she's pregnant)

Anakin: I have AIDS.

Padme: Oh boy.

Fishy
Yoda: Good relations with the Wookies, I have. In more ways then one.

Tulak Hord
Originally posted by Tulak Hord
Chewie: Rar Raaawar rar rer wraaaaaaaaa argh ag raaaaa rah ah ah raaaaaaaaargh.

I still cannot see Chewie ever saying that. That goes against who he is. He has more self-respect then that.

Darth_Rankkor
Originally posted by Gen. Grevious
lol
Owen: I wanna do a nude scene in this movie

Jedi Council: WE ALL WANNA DO A NUDE SCENE IN THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!! (background cheering) Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance WOOHOO

Tangible God
Yoda: The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun, the Clone Wars, have.

(Long Silence)

Mace Windu: Better get that colonoscopy while I still can.

Darth Kronos
TPM Mace: He will not be trained...

Anakin: (Force persuade) if u train me i will pay u to shag my mom..

Mace: puts hand on chins and rubs...

Anakin: think about it nigga u get laid and paid

Mace I'll Do it!!! big grinbig grinbig grin
big grin

MAKASHIMAN
Palpatine and Gunray; why can't we do nude scenes?!

Tulak Hord
UGH, NOO, NIGHTMARES! YOU SICK! JEEZ MAN! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Nactous
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

supernovadragon
Boba fett, bossk, IG-88, Dengar, zukuss and 4-LOM: we want to do a nude scene too

supernovadragon
Dexter: i wanna do a nude scence too

LordSorgo
Yoda: Do or do not, there is no try.
Luke: If there is no try, you're gonna have a hard time trying to take my foot out of your ass!
---
Obi Wan jumps behind Grievous and a bunch of droids....
Obi Wan: Well hello there.
Grievous: WHAT THE @#$%? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR @#$$%%ING MIND?
Obi Wan: Uh....
Grievous: YOU @#$$ING STUPID @$%$!
---
Anakin: My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count.
Dooku: You cocky little shit!
---

Anakin: Well, with all my hard years of training as a Jedi, i have decided to join the darkside because of a less than fifteen second dream sequence where my wife is dying.
Sidious: Cool. I'll show you some dope ass powers.
---
Anakin: Is is possible to learn this power?
Palpatine: Not from a Jedi.
Anakin: How f*cking convienient.
---
Anakin Skywalker: What? How can you do this? This is outrageous, it's unfair. I'm more powerful than any of you. How can you be on the council and not be a master?
Mace Windu: MAN, SHUT THE F*CK UP!
---
Anakin Skywalker: I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire.
Obi-Wan: Dumb prick...
Anakin: What?
Obi Wan: Nothin'...
---
The Emperor: This is the end of the Jedi!
Yoda: No shit, eh?
---
Jedi Youngling: Master Skywalker! There are too many troops! What should we do?

Anakin: Here, bite this big blue glowing candy!
---
The Emperor: Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda! Now you will experience the full power of the Dark Side!

Sidious: Um.... Cut!
---
Obi-Wan: Not even the younglings survived!

Youngling: Oh, REALLLLY?
---
Count Dooku: That was brave, boy, but foolish. I would have thought you'd have learned your lesson.
Anakin: I'm a slow learner.
Count Dooku: F*ckin' retard.

supernovadragon
lol hahaha

LordSorgo
C-3PO: I've had the most peculiar dream.
R2D2: Stupid Shithead.
C-3PO: YOU SPEAK?
R2D2: It's just as stupid as you having a dream, MORON!
---
Obi-Wan: Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?
Anakin: Um....Er.....Uh.....HEY LOOK, A RANCOR!
---
Anakin: You're going to pay for all the Jedi that you killed today, Dooku.
Obi-Wan: We'll take him together. You go in slowly on the left...
Anakin: No, I'm taking him NOW.
Obi-Wan: F*ck, suits me.
---
Count Dooku: Brave, but, foolish, my old Jedi friend. You are impossibly outnumbered.
Mace Windu: That doesn't matter because i am black.
Count Dooku: Damn... I keep on forgetting that!
---
Count Dooku: I have become more powerful than any Jedi. Even you.
Yoda: WTF?
---

Anakin: Not again. Obi-Wan's going to kill me.

Obi: NO, I'LL JUST TAKE OFF THREE OF LIMBS AND LEAVE YOU TO DIE....

Anakin: Someone has GOT to take his crack away.
---
Yoda: Powerful you have become Dooku, the dark side I sense in you.
Count Dooku: No Shit, Shorty.
---
Count Dooku: Join me, and together we can destroy the Sith.
Obi-Wan: Sure! Where do i sig..... Wait a minute!
Count Dooku: Hehehe.... Idiot!
---
Jango Fett: Don't move, Jedi. Take him away!
Anakin: Don't get ahead of yourself while i am gone! HAHAHAHA!
---
Queen Amidala: You're a slave?
Anakin: One that is gonna f*ck you in the future, hun!
---
Jar-Jar Binks: Ooh moi moi I love you!
Qui-Gon Jinn: You almost got us killed! Are you brainless?
Qui-Gon Jinn: Wait....Yes you are...
---

El_NINO
Obi Wan: AFFLACK!!!!

muserke
Originally posted by LordSorgo
C-3PO: I've had the most peculiar dream.
R2D2: Stupid Shithead.
C-3PO: YOU SPEAK?
R2D2: It's just as stupid as you having a dream, MORON!
---
Obi-Wan: Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?
Anakin: Um....Er.....Uh.....HEY LOOK, A RANCOR!
---
Anakin: You're going to pay for all the Jedi that you killed today, Dooku.
Obi-Wan: We'll take him together. You go in slowly on the left...
Anakin: No, I'm taking him NOW.
Obi-Wan: F*ck, suits me.
---
Count Dooku: Brave, but, foolish, my old Jedi friend. You are impossibly outnumbered.
Mace Windu: That doesn't matter because i am black.
Count Dooku: Damn... I keep on forgetting that!
---
Count Dooku: I have become more powerful than any Jedi. Even you.
Yoda: WTF?
---

Anakin: Not again. Obi-Wan's going to kill me.

Obi: NO, I'LL JUST TAKE OFF THREE OF LIMBS AND LEAVE YOU TO DIE....

Anakin: Someone has GOT to take his crack away.
---
Yoda: Powerful you have become Dooku, the dark side I sense in you.
Count Dooku: No Shit, Shorty.
---
Count Dooku: Join me, and together we can destroy the Sith.
Obi-Wan: Sure! Where do i sig..... Wait a minute!
Count Dooku: Hehehe.... Idiot!
---
Jango Fett: Don't move, Jedi. Take him away!
Anakin: Don't get ahead of yourself while i am gone! HAHAHAHA!
---
Queen Amidala: You're a slave?
Anakin: One that is gonna f*ck you in the future, hun!
---
Jar-Jar Binks: Ooh moi moi I love you!
Qui-Gon Jinn: You almost got us killed! Are you brainless?
Qui-Gon Jinn: Wait....Yes you are...
---

LMAO!!! laughing

Emperor Revan
Anakin: LIAR! You're with him!
Padme: You know, you're really pissing me off twerp. *Force chokes Anakin to death.*
Obi-Wan: Damn you, whiny boy was mine!

MAKASHIMAN
Anakin to Padme; Liar you were with him!!

Obi-Wan; Thats right Anakin, all night long! smokin' (Obi-Wan makes a pelvic thrust)

Tangible God
(Mace is deflecting Palpatine's lightning at him.)

Mace: "The Sith threat ends here!"

Palpatine: "Mace, you can join me, you'll have all the power of the Dark Side!"

Mace: "Nothing you offer will make me turn to the Dark Side!"

Palpatine: "How about a Royale with Cheese?"

Mace: Hmmm....

JLRTENJAC
Boba fatt when he sees Jango die: "Good riddance."

Luke when the emperor dies: "What! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Leia: "Luke, I am your mother."

Han when chewie died: "HA HA HA HA HA HA, Wookie got splattered."

Padm'e to to anakin (before anakin turns to the Dark side): "I want a divorce!"

Darth Maul: we will not reveal our selves to the Jedi, We will not have revenge.

Jar Jar Binks: Hellow, my name Is Jar Jar binks, a sophisticated Gungan loved by every one.

JLRTENJAC
Yoda: I CAN put Verb before subject.

Leia: Han I am your sister.
Han: WHAT! I'LL KILL YOU
Leia: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Arbiter
Han: Chewie what's the problem?
Chewbacca: Rooooooar! (I say go sir. We have an oil lick and it's almost tea time. Whatever shall we do old chap?)
Han: You're right. The power must be out.
Chewbacca: Roaar! (Do you even listen to me dear boy?)
Han: I'll check the generator and you do whatever wookies go.
Chewbacca: Rooooooooooooooooar! (We have ducussions over the political problems of the Senate and how we can make it so mistakes like those will never happen again good sir.)
Han: Yeah yeah yeah. Go play with the droids.

Tangible God
Emperor: Fullfil your destiny, and take your father's place at my side!

Luke: OK, you've got plenty of Lube right?

Darth_Rankkor
Luke: Han, I'm your father
Han: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
---------

Leia: Luke, I'm your grandfather.
Luke: My grandfather? A transvesti? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
----------

Palpatine: Yoda, I'm your brother
Yoda: My brother a sith lord is? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
----------
Jango: Bobba, I'm your sister
Bobba: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

MAKASHIMAN
Yarael Poof talking with Yoda in the Jedi tepmle; So, how's the weather down there shorty?

Mas Ammeda; Why can't I do a nude scene?!

Admiral Akbar
Dooku vs Anakin. Lightsabers swining and locking.
Sids: Strike him down use all your anger
Sidsbig grinont be afraid of what you fear, use it.
Dooku:WTf u *** i thought you were on my side.
Anakin and Dooku continue finally anakin say's
Anakinbig grinooku wait dude stop man wait! time out!
Dooku:What?
Anakin:Can i get a 2min break man im tired man.
Sids: Jesus christ! Just kill the old man

MAKASHIMAN
Sids; Use your anger Anakin

Dooku then stab Anakin in the heart; Hahahahahahahahahahaha beotch!

Sids; Oh! you uh.............you beat him well uh...............good I guess.

Dooku; Don't think I didn't know your little plan to kill me you old fart! (Force chokes Sids and electrocutes him with Lightning)

Dooku; Now i'm gonna help the Jedi.........................BEOTCH!!!!!!!!

dgeniu
Yoda: "Fear leads to hate; hate leads to anger; anger leads to suffering..."
Kid Annie: "Cool!"

"May I introduce Supreme Chancellour Valorum."
Padme:"No!"

Kid Annie: "I don`t wanna pod race! You can`t make me! Nooo!"

Jar Jar in AOTC: "Obi? Annie? Messa feel so good to see you!"
*Anakin punches him out cold*

Obi-Wan in ATOTC when tracing Zam: "She`s a Shifter!"
Anakin: "Oh, man, not the shape-shifting cliche!"
Obi-Wan: "As long as this story doesn`t turn into a sissy romance about forbidden love, there is still hope!"
Anakin: "Then, Master, I guess we`re lucky this is Star Wars!"
Obi-Wan: "There is no such thing as luck!"

Darth_Rankkor
Originally posted by dgeniu
Yoda: "Fear leads to hate; hate leads to anger; anger leads to suffering..."
Kid Annie: "Cool!"

"May I introduce Supreme Chancellour Valorum."
Padme:"No!"

Kid Annie: "I don`t wanna pod race! You can`t make me! Nooo!"

Jar Jar in AOTC: "Obi? Annie? Messa feel so good to see you!"
*Anakin punches him out cold*

Obi-Wan in ATOTC when tracing Zam: "She`s a Shifter!"
Anakin: "Oh, man, not the shape-shifting cliche!"
Obi-Wan: "As long as this story doesn`t turn into a sissy romance about forbidden love, there is still hope!"
Anakin: "Then, Master, I guess we`re lucky this is Star Wars!"
Obi-Wan: "There is no such thing as luck!"

LMAO laughing

Tangible God
Sidious: Come to the Dark Side Anakin!

Anakin: Never!

Sisious: I've got taco's and boritos.

Anakin: F*ck the Jedi.

JLRTENJAC
----------------------------------
Leia: I love you Drew Carrey!
Drew: YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS... uh I mean NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
----------------------------------
Han: IT'S A SMALL GALAXY AFTER ALL...
----------------------------------
Luke: You've won you'r highness I am a sith.
Palpatine: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
----------------------------------
Obi-Wan: Padme' Leave that Anakin and come with me...
Padme': You know?
Obiwan: Yes... come with me and we can rule the bed as husband and wife.
Padme': NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
----------------------------------
Palpatine: Now young skywalker you will DIE!... Oh and by the way I am your grandfather!
Luke and Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tangible God
Originally posted by JLRTENJAC
----------------------------------
Leia: I love you Drew Carrey!
Drew: YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS... uh I mean NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
----------------------------------
Han: IT'S A SMALL GALAXY AFTER ALL...
----------------------------------
Luke: You've won you'r highness I am a sith.
Palpatine: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
----------------------------------
Obi-Wan: Padme' Leave that Anakin and come with me...
Padme': You know?
Obiwan: Yes... come with me and we can rule the bed as husband and wife.
Padme': NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
----------------------------------
Palpatine: Now young skywalker you will DIE!... Oh and by the way I am your grandfather!
Luke and Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO That NO thing is getting really old.

JLRTENJAC
That was the point.


Yoda: Strong you are.
Dooku: Yes... Yes I am.
Anakin: Master Yoda! DON'T KILL HIM... [get's up and hack's Yoda's head off.
Obi-wan: GOOD ANAKIN, NOW TO KILL PADME!

(To be continued)

Tangible God
Originally posted by JLRTENJAC
That was the point.


Yoda: Strong you are.
Dooku: Yes... Yes I am.
Anakin: Master Yoda! DON'T KILL HIM... My God man, that one's been said already.

JLRTENJAC
Yea I moved it. and what is you'r avatar anyways?

Tangible God
And yet, despite the move from the NEVER DO section, it still isn't that funny.

JLRTENJAC
Yea I know... but I won't stop trying. And you never told mw what your Avater was supposed to be.

snake_eyes616
"I have a GOOD feeling about this."

JLRTENJAC
HA! laughing I love the kitty sniper sig, snake! laughing

Lord-Nihilus
Darth-Nihilus: Ha ha! look at me i can speak Galactic Basic!

HK-47: The Civilian Requires medical treatment master...

T3-M4-You know what? you can fix the fu**ing ship yourself!

JLRTENJAC
HA!

I got one:

Darth Vader: I SAID I WANTED A WHITE SUIT, NOT BLACK, WHITE!

snake_eyes616
Originally posted by JLRTENJAC
HA! laughing I love the kitty sniper sig, snake! laughing

thanks

Emperor Revan
Maul: WTF! I wanted a black and pink tattoo, not a black and red one!

JLRTENJAC
Vader: Luke you must kill me NOW!
Luke: how?
Vader: Here beat me to death with this stick.
--------------------------------------------------

Yoda: AAH Sh*** I have to live here till I die? DA****

Dark Thor
Mace" Padme, will you marry?

They end up having sexand got a black baby whom Anakin killed

JLRTENJAC
bored

Emperor Revan
Dooku: I've become more powerful than any Jedi. Even You!
Yoda: Really? Wish I'd known that sooner, I do. I thought I could beat you until just now when you proved that more powerful than me, you are....

Lord-Nihilus
Luke: I did not, have sexual relations with my sister...

El_NINO
Mace Windu: You know what they say about a black guy..... once you go black you never go back!!!

Darth Hawkeye
Obi-wan; Luke dont relive your fathers past.

Luke: You pussy wanna kill old farts liek you

Tangible God
Originally posted by JLRTENJAC
Yea I know... but I won't stop trying. And you never told mw what your Avater was supposed to be. Oh, right, I didn't read your entire post. Watch LOTR 'cause I dunno what it is. A banana, a scotch, a Stiff Assed Brit, a ring around a finger, who knows?

Darth Hawkeye
Tangible i just noticed what that was LMAO

JLRTENJAC
Originally posted by Tangible God
Oh, right, I didn't read your entire post. Watch LOTR 'cause I dunno what it is. A banana, a scotch, a Stiff Assed Brit, a ring around a finger, who knows?

Oh... So it was a banana... laughing

JLRTENJAC
Atton: Say, Kreia, how OLD are you any ways.
Kreia: I'm 300 you little censored.
Atton: Wow you don't look a day under 4,000
Kreia: censored YOU, YOU LITTLE censoredcensoredcensoredcensored

Tangible God
Originally posted by JLRTENJAC
Oh... So it was a banana... laughing Or a kiwi. I dunno.

Darth Mantis
*Mace Windu contacts Yoda through com link*

Windu: Master Yoda there is an overwhelming darkside aura surrounding Korribans surface. I'm planning to check it out now.

Yoda: Travel alone you do not... May the force be with you...

Windu: Thank you master Yoda... So, what are you wearing?

JLRTENJAC
*On Hoth when Han cuts his taun taun open*

Han: I knows is stinks buddy but it'll keep us warm...
Luke: Ben... Ben... Yoda... Degobah!
Han: What the censored2 are you talking about?
Luke: Ben... Yoda... Degobah.
Han: YOU SHUT THE censored UP YOU censoredIN LITTLE censored!

Nai Fohl
Mace entering Sidious office
Mace:"Palpatine, you're under arrest for being a manipulative motherf*cker."
Sidious:"I got a threshold, Jedi. I got a threshold for the abuse I'll take. And right now I'm a race car and you got me in the red. I'm just saying that it's f*ckin' dangerous to have a racecar in the f*ckin' red. It could blow.
Mace:"Oh, you're gettin' ready to blow?"
Sidious:"I could blow."
Mace:"Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherf***er, motherf***er! Every time my fingers touch my lightsaber I'm Superfly TNT. I'm the Guns of Navarone."

Anakin (coming to Mace after Sidious revealed being the Dark Lord)
Anakin:"Master Windu , I rented the original Star Wars trilogy from Blockbuster. I'm pretty sure Palpatine is a Sith Lord."


Sidious:"Execute order 66."
Clone Trooper:"Kill all shrieking CGI creatures. Alright men, shoot down the giant Iguana."
Sidious:"Oh, and order 67."
Clone Trooper:"Jedi, too. Got it."

End of the duel on Mustafar

Obi-Wan:"It's over, Anakin. I've got the high ground, just like Darth Maul did in TPM right before I killed him successfully. Ignoring that, if you jump over to me, I will cut your legs off."
Anakin: "You underestimate my power to decide not to jump to the low ground in front of you where I will be able to safely continue duelling, but to instead try to jump all the way over you and get my legs cut off!"

Padme gave birth to Luke and Leia
Droid:"She's dying. She has given up the will to live."
Obi-Wan:"Given up the will to live? She does know she has two brand new babies to live for, doesn't she? F*** her !"

DarkAge
Obi-Wan: I've got a good feeling about this.

Tangible God
Originally posted by Nai Fohl
Mace entering Sidious office
Mace:"Palpatine, you're under arrest for being a manipulative motherf*cker."
Sidious:"I got a threshold, Jedi. I got a threshold for the abuse I'll take. And right now I'm a race car and you got me in the red. I'm just saying that it's f*ckin' dangerous to have a racecar in the f*ckin' red. It could blow.
Mace:"Oh, you're gettin' ready to blow?"
Sidious:"I could blow."
Mace:"Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherf***er, motherf***er! Every time my fingers touch my lightsaber I'm Superfly TNT. I'm the Guns of Navarone."

Anakin (coming to Mace after Sidious revealed being the Dark Lord)
Anakin:"Master Windu , I rented the original Star Wars trilogy from Blockbuster. I'm pretty sure Palpatine is a Sith Lord."


Sidious:"Execute order 66."
Clone Trooper:"Kill all shrieking CGI creatures. Alright men, shoot down the giant Iguana."
Sidious:"Oh, and order 67."
Clone Trooper:"Jedi, too. Got it."

End of the duel on Mustafar

Obi-Wan:"It's over, Anakin. I've got the high ground, just like Darth Maul did in TPM right before I killed him successfully. Ignoring that, if you jump over to me, I will cut your legs off."
Anakin: "You underestimate my power to decide not to jump to the low ground in front of you where I will be able to safely continue duelling, but to instead try to jump all the way over you and get my legs cut off!"

Padme gave birth to Luke and Leia
Droid:"She's dying. She has given up the will to live."
Obi-Wan:"Given up the will to live? She does know she has two brand new babies to live for, doesn't she? F*** her !" LMAO! rolling on floor laughing laughing out loud

JLRTENJAC
Conversations between sidious and vader.



Sidious: Lord Vader.
Vader: Yes Master.
Sidious: Go rent episodes 4, 5, and 6... I want to see how my Glorious empire rises to stomp all in it's path!
--------------------------------------

Darth_Rankkor
Sidious: Anakin, you must do the right thing and join your brother Mace, so together you can kill me and eradicate the sith.
Anakin: But What about the power you've promised me?
Sidious: I was fooling around
Anakin: OH, ok.

(Mace and Anakin kill Sidious and send him out through the windu)

JLRTENJAC
Originally posted by Darth_Rankkor
Sidious: Anakin, you must do the right thing and join your brother Mace, so together you can kill me and eradicate the sith.
Anakin: But What about the power you've promised me?
Sidious: I was fooling around
Anakin: OH, ok.

(Mace and Anakin kill Sidious and send him out through the windu)

no expression

Tangible God
(Sidious phones up Vader who has a hangover.)

Sidious: H-h-hello Lord Vader?

Vader: (groans) Yes, my master?

Sidious: My lightsabre's still stuck.

Vader: Can't get it out yet?

Sidious: No, it's jammed in good.

Vader: (sighs heavily)...........Did you try laxative's?

Sidious: I ran out of chocolate flavoured ones.

Vader: Alright...umm...want me to pick you up a box?

Sidious: Yeah...head over to Mustafar, I think Gunray's still got some.

Vader: (sighs again) Alright.

Sidious: Thanks honey. (hangs up)

Lord-Nihilus
lol. thats hilarious!

Darth Hawkeye
You guys gotta make more im niot any good at this yet.

JLRTENJAC
Originally posted by Tangible God
(Sidious phones up Vader who has a hangover.)

Sidious: H-h-hello Lord Vader?

Vader: (groans) Yes, my master?

Sidious: My lightsabre's still stuck.

Vader: Can't get it out yet?

Sidious: No, it's jammed in good.

Vader: (sighs heavily)...........Did you try laxative's?

Sidious: I ran out of chocolate flavoured ones.

Vader: Alright...umm...want me to pick you up a box?

Sidious: Yeah...head over to Mustafar, I think Gunray's still got some.

Vader: (sighs again) Alright.

Sidious: Thanks honey. (hangs up)

laughing laughing

Ogami Itto
Lukemessedomethings not right here

Luke: i feel cold

Yoda:THE ****ING TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!

JLRTENJAC
confused hmmm something not right... cold... tree... I'don'get'it...

Lord-Nihilus
Me neither

Ogami Itto
oops! no more drugs for this man

JLRTENJAC
*sigh* *YAWN* no expression no expression

Ogami Itto
tired??

JLRTENJAC
wow yea... your lame jokes are putting me to sleep. *YAAAAAAAAAWN!*

Ogami Itto
lame JOKE!

JLRTENJAC
Yup!

Ogami Itto
you said jokes. i only told one stick out tongue

JLRTENJAC
I'm not telling you to stop telling them I need a good nap.

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