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Hey peeps.. Wasn't sure if this was 'general' enough to be in that section so I stashed it here . I've been writing this fic for a while; Dan is the only character you'll recognise, the rest are my creations. It gets a little more adult (R/NC17) once it's started and I'm not sure how tolerant this site is? I'll find out about that one before I get there. Please help me out with constructive feedback and I'll be posting regularly . On with the story...

Dorkus


Chapter One

The new dawn light filtered through the blinds, awakening me with its blanket of warmth. I stumbled blindly out of bed, and stared blearily out the window.

The hot beads of water streamed down and washed away last nights sleep. I soaped up the loofah and slid it over my hot skin, massaging all over my body, every toned muscle and aching joint. There was a knock at the door, "Dan! You're going to be late!"
I grabbed my towel and walked, dripping, into my bedroom.

Downstairs in yesterdays jeans and a new tee, I grabbed two muffins and was on my way out the door.

Nothing's really happened around here lately. Same old school, same old people and places. Every afternoon the boys and I meet up after school to play footy and then I'm back home again. Things have been this way for so long that I'm starting to wonder whether a little change would be good. But I'm not about to start looking.

Jai met me at the front gate, he was grinning; probably a new girlfriend.

"Guess who I'm going out with?"

I groaned inwardly. Jai had been out with everyone at least twice, he rekoned it was his charming personality but I'm not sure he even has one. He had sort of scruffy brown hair, light eyes and a permanent grin which guaranteed he was up to something. I guess girls like that sort of thing.

"... And so now we're together, I expect this one to last a lot longer then Mel cause I like her heaps."

I yawned and patted him on the back. "Sure Jai."

In English I stared blankly at my page of scribbles. I think I'd used all my 'free writing thoughts'. If nothing new ever happened where was I supposed to get my imagination? A note landed on my desk.

I'm bored. you coming this arvo? It was from Jess. We've been friends since year five, and she's become a real guys-girl. Today she was wearing baggy shorts, a jersey, and her dark hair was pulled roughly back into a ponytail, loosely hanging over her eager, brown eyes. She was one of the few people Jai hadn't been with, which made me appreciate her more. We were supposed to be going over her place after school so she could kick our butts at any sport she picked. I nodded to her and she passed another note.

Dave's bringing his cousin, here from New Zealand for a few weeks, hope he likes footy.

I smiled at her then went back to my work, feeling Ms Emmersons glare at my side. There's someone else I should have mentioned, pretty much my best friend, that's Mitch. He's the kinda guy who doesn't go outta his way to meet people, I can't even remember how we became friends, it was that long ago.

"Hey Mitch." I grinned at him as I climbed in and shut the car door, punching him lightly on the arm. He'd just gotten his licence last week and had driven me just about everywhere.

"Looks like we'll be inside this arvo." He motioned out the window. Thick clouds now glared down at us, and a chilly wind had picked up.

"Ah well, we always think of something. What's been happenin'?"

"Mum and Col are going on holidays next week, I was thinking of having a gathering or something."

I glanced at him, amused. "A party? At your place?"

He looked sheepish. His mum would kill him. "Well yeah, sort of like a welcome thing for Dave's cousin if mum asks. Have you met the guy yet?" He backed into Jess's driveway.

"Nah not yet."

Jess swung open the door with such force, that even under her mane of hair we could tell something was up.

"Is Dave here yet?" Mitch questioned.

"Yes" she barked plainly, "they're in the back room."

Mitch smirked at me. "I take it you and his cousin aren't very acquainted, is he cool?"

If Jess didn't like a guy, which was unusual, then I imagined some sort of chess-nerd.

She stalked ahead. "Why don't you ask her yourself?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

umm u gonna post more? its nice..

Sure babe I was waiting to see if anyone was reading first

Chapter Two

'So you're from New Zealand right?'

'Actually I was born in London but my family travels a lot, my dad's a pilot you see..'

Dan's eyes glazed over as Shauna trailed off, listing some places she'd been to excitedly. Flickers of light glistened off the pieces of blonde through her lengthly brown hair which showered down her back. He transfixed his eyes on her lips as she spoke, a deep red contrasting with her pearly teeth, then occasionally glanced upward towards her playful, puppy brown eyes.
She had stopped speaking, anticipating an answer from him. He gushed, 'well it'll be nice to finally have someone bring some culture around here.'

She smiled warmly at him while Dave was heard protesting in the background, feigning hurt. 'I'm cultured! I had chinese for dinner and sometimes I even go outside.'

There was a mixture of laughter and groans echoing around the room.

'Did you want a drink? I was just going to grab one,' Dan questioned as he got up.

'Sure just water thanks Daniel'.

Dan was cornered by Jess in the kitchen. 'So you like her ey?'

He screwed up his face in thought, not wanting to lie to Jess, or disappoint her either. 'She's.......interesting,' he muttered, turning his attention back to the fridge.

'Oh, you mean cultured, ' Jess retorted teasingly. 'Just remember she isn't staying forever so don't get too cosy.'

Dan spun quickly and squeezed Jess tightly, attempting to smother her. 'Aww, are you getting jealous Jessy? we wouldn't want that now would we?'

She pulled away, pretending to be disgusted at his show of affection.

'Save your energy for Shauna, I reakon she likes you as well.'
She smiled back at his surprised face as she skipped of down the hallway.

Shauna sipped her drink, not taking her eyes off Dan. 'Mitch tells me you play guitar?'
'Yup!' Dan beamed and looked sideways at Mitch across the room. 'A shiny red one.'

Shauna giggled at his childish theatrics. 'You'll have to play for me sometime, or teach me even.' She shifted closer, flickering her eyes up at his flirtatiously.

'Do you play in a band?'

Dan snorted, 'I tried to start one with this bunch, but they're so musically retarded, I gave up.'

This brought further protests from Dave who ran off to finding a tambourine to prove his worth.

'Danny I'm heading off, did you need a lift?' Mitch jangled his keys and approached the sofa.

'Be there in a sec,' he said, meeting Shauna's miserable eyes.

'Sorry I've gotta go, will you be here tomorrow?' he asked hopefully.

'Will you miss me if I'm not?' she whispered, smiling. She suddenly shook his hand formally, taking him off guard as she pressed a piece of paper into his palm, winking.

'Ah, well, bye then.'

'Bye Daniel'.

Jess nudged him playfully on the way out, 'tell Jai I hate him for not coming.'

Back home Dan stared at Shauna's cell number. He wondered how soon was too soon to call.

Shauna laid back on her bed, exhausted. The flight that day had been a little over 14 hours and she hadn't slept. Her phone beeped, indicating a message and startling her from her sleepy haze. She didn't recognize the number, but grinned as she realised who sent it.

'Lessons start thursday, my place. and call me Dan xx'

Accompanying the text was a picture of a shiny red guitar.




I have a heap of chapters lined up (It's been in the writing process a while) so as soon as you want more, lemme know.

mwah xx

nice..

well i said nice cause i was being nice its a good story so far...am i the won who is really reading this? and umm u should move this maybe to the General Fiction area cause this place is for harry potter fictions stories..

Its good! i wasnt reading to make you happy im reading it cause i like the story..its good keep going

I wanna read the whole thing! can u give me the link???

i wanna read the whole thing too..

Well it's not letting me post the link.. but it's at globalboards(.com) and you go to the very last forum (Fan Fiction) and you know the title already. My nic there is tAmMi-LoU.
My second story is called 'Bedsheets'. You can check it out if you want, i just started.

If you have trouble, remmeber i can keep posting it here for you. xox

plzzzzzzzzzz finish

wow, its really good, please finish it!!!

ok then.. as long as i have readers i will finish

finish...... finish........finish.....finish......finish

yah, u came back and just after i went to the global boards thing to!!! oh well at least i didnt read the whole story

so i'll keep posting here? or are you reading on global?

no keep posting here
i am only going on global because it is not here
so if you dont mind post here

wow. it was great
keep posting

This is really, really good! Post soon!

Really, really great!! Plzzzzzz post soon!

WOW, its great
post soon plez

WOW, that was cool
POST SOON PLEZ, its great

awwwww this is sooo sad
but GREAT at the same time
keep on postin plz

WOW, its absoulutly fabulously fab

love it

FOURTEEN

Shauna tentively slipped through Dan's front door.

'knock knock!' Her voice echoed brightly off the walls.

She heard clanging in the kitchen and Daniels mum emerged, mess of hair and awkwardly holding a baking tray.

'How are you sweetie? Come on in, Dan's upstairs.'

'I think it's about time Mr Radcliffe gave you a hand in the kitchen' she hinted.

A grumble and shuffle of newspapers were heard from the lounge and Marcia rolled her eyes and disappeared.

Shauna chuckled, dropped her things on the table and headed upstairs.
Dan lay edgeways, hanging over the side of his bed flicking at his guitar strings, wearing only a pair of jeans.

He rolled off his bed as she entered and smothered her in an eager embrace.

'Where'd you go today? I was looking for you everywhere.' She tried to keep a stern tone but he brushed it off, 'Did you try the airport?'

She shoved him playfully, 'Dan...'

'Alright! Don't shoot! Me and mitch needed to sought out a few things. i was a right ass to him today and he knocked some sense into me.'

'He hit you?'

'No! we just chatted. everythign is good now, we always work it out.'

'And the baby...'

'Not his'

'oh?' Shauna lay back and pulled a cushion to her chest absentmindedly. 'Deidre's that bad huh?'

Dan shrugged and snuggled her close. 'I don't want to think about that right now.'

She ran her hands roughly through his hair, 'You have some good friends you know that? I wouldn't of let you off so easily today.' She grinned at him, but his expression turned sombre. 'You're right Shauna. let me know if i ever take you or any of my friends for granted.'

She leaned forward and pecked his nose. 'Let me know when you're going to kiss me 'cause I've been hanging out all day..'

He laughed lightly and leaned forward to her mouth, whispering softly, 'Make-out session, take-two', as he turned off his phone and wrapped his arms around her.


Melissa lay on Deidre's bed flicking through pages of her photo album, consisting mostly of bikini-laden girls hanging off guys.

'Oh that one just has pictures of me and the girls. it's a little out of date.'

Melissa nodded, not paying much attention, her mind on other things. 'What did your parents say about the baby?'

Deidre shrugged as she slipped out of her uniform and stalked across the room in her underwear, in search of an outfit. 'Dad's a little pissed (angry) about it but he was always telling my mum we had it coming.'

Mel tried to hide her disgust. 'You planned this?'

'No. not planned per-se, but..oh well, i never really thought about it.' she turned to face Melissa and slipped on an oversized shirt which was probably what Deidre considered a dress. 'What's the big deal anyway? It's only a baby.'

Melissa reddened at her accusation, reaching for a new album as a distraction. 'Just seems like a fair bit of hassle for ten minutes of pleasure.'

Deidre giggled and collapsed beside her. 'Who said it was ten minutes? You have underestimated me Melly.'

Melissa cringed at the use of her and Shauna's nickname. 'How's your head?'

Deidre rubbed the back of her head in search of a lump. 'I don't think i fell that hard actually. I can't believe i fainted. It was my only way out of that lunchroom I swear. I'm never going back.'

Melissa protested, 'But i was looking forward to spending my last year of school with you girls..'

'There's still the others.' Deidre flicked at her hair. 'And what about Shauna?'

Mel looked uneasy, 'I guess. But she has a boyfriend now, I'm just a third wheel.'

'And I have a baby. what's the dif? Get a boyfriend. there's plenty of eligible guys around here. Depends what you want from them of course. I'm sure a few could offer that ten minutes you're after.' Deidre smiled to herself, amused as Melissa turned scarlet.

'As long as you don't talk to my sister. we're on non-speaking terms. She started all this you know?' As if on cue Danika stepped hautily into the bedrrom and dumped her things down. Without speaking to either of them she changed and grabbed a handbag. Her cell sounded and she answered cheerfully, Melissa and Deidre trying unsuccessfuly to ignore her.

'Hey Jai...yup. You can pick me up in about fifteen minutes.I want you to bring your parents' car.' She hushed her tone, but was still fairly audible, 'I'm wearing the red one you gave me.' She giggled, glanced over her shoulder at the girls and slipped out, firmly shutting the door.
Melissa couldn't believe how shallow people were, and she thought she'd met them all in the modelling industry.

She looked up to Deidre who was sitting silently on the corner of her bed, the colour drained from her face.

So am I not continuing here anymore??

NO don't quit! Keep going!

Well i need feedback!!

FIFTEEN

Marcia sat down heavily at the dining table while waiting for the vegetables to boil.

She flickered mindlessly with one of Shauna folders on the table that had caught her attention. It appeared to be an art folder with 'Miracles' emblazed across the cover, in the midst of photos artfully captured from cities around the world.

Out of mere curiosity, she opened it up and various sketches and pictures spilled out onto the table.

The first was a black-and-white photo, intricately angled, capturing half a smile, which appeared to be Daniel's, and lips pressed against his cheek. Marcia smiled to herself as she flipped through them. Another showed sunlight filtering through a splintered picket fence, the bugs crawling there, frozen in there tracks.

Each shot had been carefully arranged and taken with explicit care and she found herself marvelled with each new one.

'Mum something's burning.'

Daniel has come downstairs and eyed his mum accusingly while screwing up his face at the smell of burnt carrots.

'Oh geez i got side-tracked. Shauna will you be eating with us?'

Shauna slipped her artwork back into the folder and shook her head. 'Um, actually mum is expecting me back home.'

She picked up her bag ready to leave, when Mrs Radcliffe interrupted, 'Sorry dear i didn't mean to pry, but you have some amazing work there. did you take all those yourself?'

Shauna blushed, remembering the random snaps of Dan she'd stashed in there. 'Yeah i had to develop most of them too. Part of my course.'

Dan's mum leaned over the counter and eyed Shauna thoughtfully. 'I was wondering, well i know you're busy, but i thought perhaps you'd like to help me out. You see i own a photography place downtown. Portraits, developing, decorating, photoshop; that sort of thing. Right now i have a couple of unremarkable staff members there who've taken over because i'm too busy, maybe you could teach them a few things.'

Shauna bit her lip, hiding her excitement. 'You're giving me a job?'

Marcia smiled. 'Only if you're up to it. You can start whenever you like. flexible hours i promise.'

Dan cleared his throat. 'You would think your only child would have preferance wouldn't you?'

His mother threw a tea-towel at him. 'I said the staff were unremarkable, not hopeless. From what i've learnt Daniel, you couldn't develop a polaroid shot.'

Shauna broke into hysterics, it wasn't often that she'd heard a joke excape Dan's mum. 'Just for that, Mrs Radcliffe, i'll take the job.'

Dan feigned misery as he gave Shauna a quick kiss goodbye.

~~~~

'What's up Dede?'

Deidre had gone from looking like her world had fallen down around her, to looking like she wanted to destroy one.

'Of ALL people...'

Melissa sat up now, getting distraught. 'Your sister did something....?'

Deidre glared at Melissa as if she was stupid. 'Obviously! That B***h knows I like Jai and she's purposely gone out of her way to get him. For her sake, i hope i'm asleep when she gets back.'

Melissa rolled her eyes. 'You're not thinking of dating while you're pregnant are you?'

'That's not the point. I thought you understood me. No one understands me. I'd like you to leave.'

Melissa opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it. Instead, she shut the door a little harder than neccessary to get her revenge, and politely waved to the twins parents as she left.

She looked back at their beautiful home as she took long strides down the street, and wondered how long it would take their family to fall apart from being so self-absorbed.

~~~~

Jess sat at home, yet again on her own. She had Daniel's number pressed into her cell but hadn't called it. It hadn't been that long since she had called him every night and talked for hours. And she missed the nights she had turned up at his house spontaneously and had dinner with the family adn stayed till after midnight, Alan carrying her to the car and taking her home. She thought at least Marcia would have asked Dan why she hadn't been around in a while.

She threw her phone across the room and swore loudly as it landed, till intact on the wooden floor, picked up her football and went outside to play with her brother.

~~~

I like your story, please keep posting here cause the global thing has so many comments that it takes forever to get to the next entry. But great job!

LOL fair enough.. ta babe..

SIXTEEN

Danika buttoned her blouse and searched the woolly car-seat cover for a lighter, cigarette readily in her mouth. Jai nipped gratefully at her neck while she lit up, not paying him the least bit of attention.

'Want a smoke?'

'nah it's fine.'

He watched her intently and she turned her head towards the window in discomfort.

'Must you?'

'What?'

'Stare at me like that! It makes me sick'

Jai shifted closer and slid a cool hand up her shirt onto her naked chest. 'I can't help it, you're beautiful.'

Danika laughed, stubbed out her smoke on the side of the car and turned back to him with a smirk. 'You can cut it out, we've ****ed now.'

Jai ignored her, now focussing on her still-bare thighs. 'I know...but'
She gripped his hand firmly, 'You might be feeling generous, but I'm not. I just needed to get out of the house okay?'

He gave her a sultry smile as she struggled with her jeans.

'That's why I liked you in the first place, you're such a *****.'

'You're too kind.'

He chose to ignore her request, running a his hand down her back and gently lifting the material at the bottom. 'I mean it though. Most girls are so clingy after sex, but at the party.....afterward, you just, didn't want to know me. It was so hot.'

Danika froze and stopped fighting with her zipper, looking him dead in the eyes, first with fear, and then disgust. 'But we never-' She shoved him as hard as she could and climbed forward into the front seat. 'Take me home.'

'But babe..'

'No! just ****ing take me home now, you disgust me!'


Shauna awoke to a light tickling on her face. She moaned sleepily and shoved the distraction away. Dan giggled and kissed her closed eye-lids.

'Wakey-wakey.'

She mumbled something incoherent before peeling her eyes open. 'Dan...it's only-'

'Almost eight. Now get up.'
She stumbled out of bed and looked back at him, perched comfortably, smiling at her in his uniform. She suppressed a laugh. 'Where'd you come from?'

'Well, mum left early this morning and dropped me off so I've sat here watching you sleep and mumble about me for the last half hour or so and decided to wake you up.'
Shauna stared at him in horror 'I didn't..'

'Unfortunately yes. And as cute as you look in that shirt...' He picked her up and carried her to the bathroom, setting her in the shower and turning the water on full blast, '...much better.'

She squealed in protest and attempted to adjust the freezing water.
Dan watched her step into the room ten minutes later, shivering and glaring at him.

'That was cruel.'

'Just my way of thanking you for stealing my job.'

Shauna face dropped and she approached him sympathetically. 'Danny I don't want it if you're going to be mad.' She hugged him tightly and he laughed.

'I'm happy for you, really. That way you can develop this.' He snatched her camera off the bedside table and snapped a photo of her, towel and all.

She shoved him onto the bed and kissed him heavily. 'You're going to get it Daniel Radcliffe. You better not sleep tonight.'

Melissa had gotten to school early that morning. She had two reasons, one of them being to piss off the Headmistress my acing her subjects, the second was Daniel. Showing up that morning and forcing her out of the house after a couple of minutes of awkward conversation. She couldn't wait until her parents had bought a house here so she could finally get her own space.

She scanned the deserted art studio, vaguely admiring pieces on the wall, cursing Shauna at the same time for picking art, and kicking herself for making Mrs Corban put them in the same subjects. Her artistic talents consisted of cutting and pasting and that wasn't going to get her a pass, let alone anything substantial.

The room echoed with the creaking of a door and she turned around to see a student struggling with an easel. He shakily set it down and heaved his bag up onto a bench, scanning the room for other student. Melissa gave a small smile as he looked in her direction.

'You failing this crap as well?' He asked her, jokingly, piling paints and utensils down on the counter.

Melissa laughed and glanced down at her book. 'You have no idea.'

'Can I have a peak?' he approached cautiously, Melissa flushing slightly at her amateur sketches and scrawl.

'Go ahead. feel free to laugh at any of my ideas.' She pushed the notebook across the table as he took a seat.

He gave a small nod as he scanned the page. 'This is pretty good.'
Mel snorted and looked down as she tapped her pencil. 'You don't have to say that.'
'Nah it could really work.'

She looked back over her shoulder at his painting. 'What've you got there?'

'Just an fail in progress, not much.'

She smiled, 'I'm Melissa by the way.'

He stood and began walking back over to his piece, 'pleasure. I'm Adrian.'

That was really great!!! Post soon!

Yeah, please post more!

I love it, keep goin'.

Please keep posting!!!

Keep going please!!!

I love it, please keep it up.

TWENTY (slight adult content)

Shauna rushed past a line of people as she hurried into the studio. The photography shop was filled with the scent of developing solution and she tossed Alex a sympathetic look as she struggled to pose a screaming baby in the folds of a mink blanket.

Marcia gave Shauna a desperate glance between customers, and Mica, with a low-stress tolerance had tears brimming her eyes behind an armful of lenses, tripods and rolls of film.

Shauna draped an apron over her neck and collapsed against the door of the dark room. She liked coming in here, clouding herself in red silence and spending tedious hours gazing as images magically appeared in the liquid, then gently hanging them to dry.

Knowing there was no time to shut off the world today, she threaded a film strip carefully through the machine works and listened as it gave a contented click and did the rest of the work.

She collected a labelled pile of shots and began sorting them into packages. Usually she just checked for blank sheets and over-exposures; the results of incompetent photographers, but the first shot caught her eye. It was taken as someone walked away- the back of their head. The ones that followed were equally as strange, and Shauna felt a surge of recognition as she flicked through photos of arms, legs and partial faces. Her pulse began to race as she neared the bottom and found a photo of Daniel, his arm draped lazily around Shauna as they walked home. A fear, and sense of violation arose in her chest and throat as she came upon the very last one. Her own smiling face. The eerie feeling accelerated as she flicked on the light and saw it had been obstructed. It was a double-exposure, overlapping with a very familiar looking front garden.

She left the photos in the room and raced out to the reception area with an overwhelming need to be surrounded by other people. Marcia smiled graciously as she took up her position and forced a smile on the awaiting customers.

Later that evening, when it had died down, she quietly entered the storage room and slipped the envelope into her bag, along with the customer information.
'Shauna honey?'

Marcia startled her. 'Did you want to come home with me for dinner? Dan said he's seen very little of you, I thought it might be nice.'
Shauna hid her guilt with a smile. 'Sure. I'll just finish up here.'
Marcia jangled her keys as she slipped out to the car.

Daniel was half asleep when Shauna entered his dimly lit room. He stirred slightly as she squirmed in next to him and gently caressed the side of his face. He groaned sleepily and looked up at her.

'Hey babe. I missed you.'

'Did you dream about me?'

'I think so.'

She laughed at his bleary confusion. 'Your mum made us dinner, I'll bring it up?'
He sat up groggily and nodded.

Daniel watched Shauna coyly as she finished eating, and she pretended not to notice.

'How was work? Any more interesting customers?'

Shauna remembered the photos in her bag, and stared at her empty plate thoughtfully, not wanting to meet his eye.

'Not really. It was busy though, your mum really keeps it all together.'

He nodded, 'Yeah she's like that at home as well, you've probably noticed.'

'Her and Jen should have coffee.'

Dan mused at her cute suggestion. 'I remember my dream actually.'

Shauna put her plate aside, and slipping off her shoes, snuggled backwards into him, wrapping his naked arms around her frame as she found a comfortable position between his legs.

'Tell me everything.'

He looked down at her suggestively and Shauna felt the heat creep up her neck inside the shirt collar.

'Started a bit like this actually.'

There was a heavy silence and Daniel forbid himself to say anymore, letting the comment linger.

To his surprise, Shauna pressed herself back into him, grinding against his crotch and smiled up at him slyly.

'Go on...'

Dan breathed in sharply and scanned her eyes, hinting a sense of mischief.
'and then...'

He leaned in to her parted lips and inhaled deeply, slipping a hand between the buttons of her blouse and gently grazing her silk-concealed breast. Her hand came up to meet his, pressing his fingers desperately into her flesh, her other hand gripping his thigh firmly. His moist lips found their way to the bare, creamy skin of her neck, kissing the nape in a painstakingly slow manner.

Shauna's head drooped helplessly onto his shoulder but she didn't loosen her grip on his upper thigh. Familiar waves of warmth coated her skin as she relaxed into him and lost track of thought.

'knock-knock'

Jess smiled cheerily as she entered, before they could utter a word. Shauna immediately covered herself as Jess pounced on the end of the bed and shot Daniel a bright grin. If she'd noticed anything, she wasn't letting on.

'Jess.....it's late'

Dan eyed his blanket uncomfortably, urging the intense feeling that had consumed him moments earlier, to disappear as quickly as it had come.

Jess sighed heavily, her smile not wavering.

'I know but I was bored and couldn't see you spontaneously coming over my place, so here I am. Just like old times.'

Daniel grit his teeth. 'It's hardly old times anymore Jess, you need to remember that. I need privacy now.'

Jess was now circling the room, barely listening. 'Oh you mean cause of Shauna? Well I wouldn't let that get in the way of our friendship. Wouldn't want to end up like you and Mitch. How long since you've seen him now? A month?'

Dan's level of uncomfort rose and he felt guilt enter his system as he uttered his next words.

'I don't want to talk about this now Jess. Just leave okay, I'll call you later. You need to stop being so clingy, your not going to lose my friendship in a matter of hours.'

This seemed to aggravate Jess and she lost her chirpy tone. 'Clingy am I? Well it might interest you to know that while you're getting concerned about me visiting, Re-anne is packing her bags to leave town for the fifth time while she battles with cancer. Your best friend is sitting home in pieces with only his dying mother to comfort because his friend is to preoccupied with himself to see how he's doing. He's vulnerable Daniel, and he's ashamed. Maybe you should learn to be a bit more clingy.'

Within seconds of her slamming the door the tears came. I'm awful, Jess thought. I didn't want to tell him that way, now he'll hate me.

When Jess got home she collapsed, still sobbing. She cried mainly for herself then for Daniel's sake, consumed with the hurt of rejection, for the second time.

After Jess left, Shauna immediately gathered her things to leave. She barely knew Mitchell's mother, but the conversation reminded her of the secret she had in her bag, and eager to get home, she held Daniel for a moment before leaving and slipped out the door.


I'm pretty sure the next one is sorta explicit... or the one after.. anyway

xxx

It's okay - keep going.

TWENTY-ONE

A single scrawled initial.

Shauna couldn't even make out the two letters. No contact number, date of submission. Nothing.

Shauna's eyes brimmed with watery frustration. The photos lay beside her in almost ruins from constant shuffling. She cursed Alex over and over in her mind for not filling out the form properly. It would have taken her a couple more seconds to do her job properly, and Shauna would have felt safe, or at least reassured. But she somehow doubted these particular shots were up for collection. 'They just wanted me to see them,' she realised.

Instead of flicking off her bedside light, Shauna slipped under the covers and shuddered under it's glow, eventually falling into a disjointed sleep.
...

Daniel barely slept at all. He was awake when the streetlights flickered out, when the noises outside ceased. He lay rigid when the birds awoke before dawn and his exhausted eyes watched the sun coming up under his blinds the next morning.

Not that there was much of a sun to speak of. A light rain began tinkering during the night and had developed into a rushing storm by day break. Lightening lit up the gloomy sky as Daniel changed and headed out the door to Mitch's house.
...

Mitch had become used to the idea of restless nights. A happy thought hadn't entertained his mind for an unhealthy period of time and he'd become content with his disconnection to everything outside these walls.

He didn't look so bad though. He moved away from his packed suitcase for a moment to scrutinise his reflection. A drawl, distant face looked on. Sure his eyes were a little darker but he was still himself. Sure his hair needed trimming and he hadn't shaved, but the recognition was uncanny. He was Mitch.

He smiled at his mundane and quiet thoughts and returned to his familiar packing.
...
Daniel was drowned and shaking as he reached for the doorbell. As his finger coincided with the buzzer, the front door opened.

Mitch looked terrible.

His face was sunken and his eyes were overshadowed by the circles that surrounded them. His frame had shrunk and he looked almost starved.

Dan forced a smile and stepped forward, but his friend's eyes returned a blank stare, and Mitch didn't move to let him in.

'Look Mitch..'

'Don't.' Mitch voice was stern and emotionless.

'If my mother is the only reason you're here then you can turn back the way you came.'

Dan shook his head, startled. Water poured in his eyes and ears as thunder shook the sky around him.

'I came to apologize actually.' Dan shivered with every word, but Mitch, obviously not feeling very hospitable, watched on with disinterest.

'I haven't meant to shun you mate, it's been busy for both of us.'

'Busy with what.' Mitch snapped, holding a stern expression.
Dan racked his mind for an explanation that would get through to him.

'Look I've been a selfish ass okay? Is that what you want to hear? I've put my life before everyone else right now and I'm sorry.'
Mitch's mouth twitched into a lopsided smile, and he continued watching on with empty eyes.

Rain sprayed off Daniel's lips as he began speaking again, ignoring the condescending gaze.

'But I really think you need someone at the moment, so if you'd just let me in..'
'F**k your sympathy Daniel. Screw your problems, your girlfriend and screw your perfect family.'

Daniel took a step back as Mitch approached him and pointed menacingly.

'Sympathy doesn't fix the least of my troubles. I have to take drugs to get to sleep at night, but refuse to take them. Instead I sit outside my mother's door at night and listen to her breath since that's pretty much all she can do right now. And I'm thankful for at least that.'

Mitch was now clenching his fists and began to raise his voice, the storm hiding his tears.
'I just want you to remember one thing next time you decide to come round here.'
With that, Mitch slammed his closed fist into Daniel's face.

He stumbled backward in searing pain, tripping over the gutter and sprawling to the ground. The gravel gripped his skin as it collected his body, tearing his flesh and drawing blood from the immediate wounds. Dan lay back on the road as burning pain consumed him momentarily. Mud and rain soaked into the gaping wounds on his arms and shoulders and the pelting water brought blood to the surface of his face and washed it back into his eyes.

When he eventually sat up, the front door was shut and Mitch was nowhere in sight. Mustering his strength and dignity, he peeled himself from the road and dragged his defeated body home.


Can you tell me WHAT you like this time? Like.. something constructive? You don't always have to tell me to 'keep going', I promise I will

xxx

Well, I suppose when I say I like it, I mean that I like the whole thing. You are an amazing writer. I like how you describe things in vivid detail and it's a really good story line. You also foreshadow very well. The fact that you used Daniel is pretty cool too. I wouldn't have thought to make a story about a actor from a show.
Great Job!

okay, well i think it is an excellent story, your discription of everthing is excellent and very powerful!!!

Thanks babes Helps me quite nicely... yeah i used daniel so i could put it onto Dan sites and get more readers (ingenius, i know)

This chapter contains graphic romance (this first of, but not the last)

enjoy

TWENTY-TWO

As frantic as Marcia sounded when she called, Shauna wasn't able to make it around to Daniel's until late Sunday. His mum needed to rush out, and with Alan away in conference, her poor little boy was left to fend for himself.
Shauna's breath caught in her throat and her eyes burned with sympathy when she caught sight of him.

'It's not that bad, really!' Dan desperately tried to deny her first impression.

'You know what mum is like...' He blushed a little and watched her tensely for a response.

Daniel lay propped up in bed, patches masking his shoulders and upper back. His eye remained very bruised, but had been attended to carefully and he was able to see out of it already. His ruined shirt lay discarded on the floor, and his closed-in room still held the smell of rain and a mix of cologne.

Shauna approached tentatively and perched on the edge of the bed, running her shaking fingers down his bare arms and letting the tears fall.

'Your best friend..' She whispered, 'I'm so sorry baby..'

She pressed her lips to his face lightly enough to feel the warmth of his skin, pulling away to find his eyes shining with emotion as well.

He pulled her to him gently and shivered as icy hands came in contact with his back. Shauna felt him laugh light heartedly.

'What's funny?'
Dan wiped a stray tear and shook his head. 'Nothing. We're both crying, It's stupid. And I love you.'

Shauna heard herself laugh softly in response as she leaned in to his open mouth.
'Make it better.' He mumbled between kisses, as she pressed herself to him more firmly and deepened the their light kiss into a devouring expression of sympathy and passion.
Her fingers lingered at the tip of his pants and slid back and forth across the sensitive skin there. Daniel moved over her, her legs dangling down the side of the bed. He broke the kiss for a moment to stand and examine her.

Shauna's fingers lay shyly at her top button, and her breaths came in deeply as she delicately removed her blouse, Dan watching on, transfixed. Her hands moved to the straps on her shoulders and she hesitated a moment, throwing him a small smile as she slipped her bra off her shoulders.

He inhaled sharply, his hands finding one of her swollen breasts and running two fingers over her stiffened nipple. He brought his mouth forward, consuming her heated skin as she arched beneath him.

Shauna felt his arousal pressing into her thigh and bit her lip tightly as he slipped a hand up the inside of her skirt and began to rub her in a slow, steady rhythm. He moved his arm away a moment as Shauna tugged her skirt and panties down her legs, forgotten for the moment.

She felt Daniel's fingers slide inside of her, bringing a small cry from her lips as his mouth made it's way from her heaving chest, up her neck and to her flushing face.
Shauna fumbled, almost frustrated, with the front of his pants, and his hands met hers, awkwardly easing them down to reveal his well-endowed lower torso.
Shauna flickered her gaze to meet Daniel's, feeling as though she shouldn't be looking. He carefully propped her up the top of the bed, placing her head lightly on the pillow and marvelling at the naked, sweat-glistening body before him. Instead of feeling ashamed, Shauna was oddly comfortable and a screaming urge pulsated inside her for him to continue.

Daniel leaned forward, his skin gripping hers, and nuzzle her neck breathlessly.

'Shauna..'

'No Daniel. I want to. Undo me.' Her reply came softly but with persistence.
Dan took her mouth in once again and lightly parted her thighs with his. Shauna's eyes closed as he glided inside her for the first time.

After the initial burning, Shauna's body relaxed and joined in the gentle cadence, gripping his arms and feeling his muscles pulse with every thrust, bringing them closer to a summit of ecstasy.

Liquid heat slid down her face as ripples of intensity arose from his gyrations. Daniel pressed himself to her as he quickened the pace and rhythm, ignoring his aching wounds and bringing light moans and sharp breaths to his ear.

He saw black as he melted inside Shauna, and slowed to a halt. She continued skimming his back softly, as Daniel's hands reached out to her face, pushing back her dishevelled locks and bringing his cheek to hers with his last ounce of energy.
The beat slowed in Shauna's chest after a few moments and they lay still.

'Daniel?'

'mmm?'

'I love you too.'

Are you gonna post more?

I am always going to post more. But I like comments. Like, proper reviews. I'm up to chapter 33 everywhere else but I think I'll wait for comments here now.

its great, i like it a lot
as i said before you have a greart way of describing the scenes

I love it and you know that. You are amazing!

aiight thanks guys I never want to hear "Are you gonna post more" again

TWENTY-THREE

Melissa's eyes drifted over Adrian's features lazily as she intertwined their fingers. They sat idly on her thick lounge room rug, assignments at their side, listening to the hum of the ceiling fan.

She couldn't have been more content with the last few days. Apart from successfully suppressing the urge to call Shauna, and overcoming the disappointment from her lack of calls, Melissa had, in addition managed to be summoned to the Headmistress's office a total of three times that week. She'd left smiling every time.

Much to the women's disgrace, Mel had proved to be a model student and although the Headmistress hadn't been able to prove otherwise, she had pulled Melissa up for 'being inappropriate' with Adrian in the school building, and was now banned from using classrooms before hours. This was, in Mel's opinion, a pathetic but direct sabotage of her grades, as Melissa had needed all the time she could get in the Art room to keep up.

She sighed and leaned into Adrian, breathing in his scent of masculinity.

'Got anything?'

'Nup'

They were supposed to be preparing their final Major piece of the year, and Mel was feeling less stupid knowing that he didn't have any ideas either.

'Let's not do anything'

'k'

Melissa smiled to herself, musing at their lack of communication, but all the same, loving their connection. Every time she was with him, although it hadn't been much more than a week, she had almost wished Shauna was there to see them, just to return the inadequate feeling that Mel had held whenever she was with Shauna and Daniel.
Skimming the numerous photos of herself that coated the walls, she began to wonder whether Adrian would interest her anymore if her and her friend made up, but decided that it didn't matter, as long as she was content at the moment.

'I've got twelve minutes' Deidre thought, anxiously wiping her stained eyes.
It had become part of her schedule the past few days. Coming home from school, crying silently in the bathroom and then practising her smile for a full five minutes before Danika got home from track.

Jai refused to speak to her, look at her, or acknowledge her in anyway, and when she came home, her family held a disapproving air towards her. Deidre was used to this attention, but things seemed to be affecting her more drastically than usual. She hugged her stomach in desperation.

Eventually, it began to get dark and Deidre let her once-secret tears fall as she fixated her eyes on the bedroom wall, in realisation that her sister wouldn't be home to catch her.

The front door slammed shut, shaking the walls around her and angry mumbles echoed down the extensive hall. Deidre wiped her eyes with a start and tentatively peered out of her partially open door, startled.

She made her way into the kitchen area, approaching her father who was turned away from her, still mumbling.

'Hey Pa'

Her father turned around from the breakfast bar with a start, narrowing his eyes on her with interest. His eyes were bloodshot and Rum fumes attacked Deidre's senses with his every exhale.

'Take a seat'

Deidre pulled out a dining chair, a little taken-aback by her parent's formality.

'Um, how was work'

'Shit. As usual. Why all the questions?'

Deidre caught sight of her dishevelled reflection in the kitchen window, and directed her gaze to her clenched hands.

'You're drunk.'

'Of course I'm ****ing drunk. It's a work night, I'm a grown man and I have plenty to be drinking about.'

Instead of meeting his eyes, Deidre thought it would be safer to stow away in her room at least until her mother was home. She slipped out of her chair, and just as she approached the archway, her father spoke again, just audibly.

'My daughter's a whore'

His words were followed by a chuckle, as if he shared a private joke with himself. Deidre heard his chair scrape back and her skin tightened as she turned to face him.

'Look at you' He sneered at her, swaggering closer and pausing before her, unfocused from the drink.

'What?' Deidre clutched herself protectively, eyes watering again.

'We gave you everything. And look what a good family makes you turn out as. A whore.'

Deidre's eyes narrowed, offended, but she took a step back all the same.

'How dare you-?'

Her fathers hand reached out to her face before she had a chance to move. The blow to her head resulted in a collapse to the cold, hard wooden floor. Deidre shuffled away in an attempt to escape, his second blow connecting with her ribs, a poor aim, from what Deidre guessed was supposed to get her stomach. She screamed out when the breath returned to her body, but her father had already left to his room in a drunken solitude.

Less than half an hour later, a shaking, bruised and pregnant sixteen year old arrived at the doorstep of her last resort laden with a hastily packed bag.

The door opened and the occupant was met with her pleading eyes.

so are you gonna post more?????? JOKIN,LOL

Heh, has Diedre's dad ever abused her before?
It's kinda sad that he does that...

Aw, that's cute! I wonder what it would be like if they were together... But I like Shauna and Dan together - they make a really good couple!

WOW, that was cool

i for some odd reason like jess 2!! i fell sorry 4 her, i mean nobody gives her the time of day! but i dont want her and daniel to get together Shauna and him are perfect

That's so creepy! STALKER! lol. Jei is kind of a mystery isn't he?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo creepy stalker

Dun - dun - dun --- Ladies and Gentleman we have a stalker.

What will Mel do? I hope she helps Shauna and they become friends again. That would be cute.

The Thot Plickens..

TWENTY-SEVEN

Joylene entered the kitchen timidly where Deidre was attempting to wash dishes.

'Um.. sweetie?'

Deidre was startled, Joy usually held such a strong sense of character.

'There's someone at the door for you.'

Deidre felt her first bout of morning sickness come on as she slipped off the apron and approached the front entry.

'Dede! I was so worried.' Her mother hugged her close. 'We want you and the baby back home. Just get your things and I'll be in the car.'

Deidre would have been appalled by her mother's ignorance, had it not been hereditary. 'Who's we?'

He mother turned, fiddling with the keys, looking bewildered. 'Why, your father and I. We miss you! All will be forgotten, I understand it's just your hormones going a little off track.' Her mother perked up, 'Happened to me as well.'

Deidre listened on, agape. 'Do you know why I'm here? He hit me mum, and he tried to kill my baby!'

The woman studied her daughter in contemplation. 'Nonsense Deidre. That's a horrible thing to say. He's a good man and he doesn't need accusations when he's taking care of-' She gestured to Deidre's stomach, '-of this.'

The girl stared at her, unblinking, anger watering in her eyes and threatening to spill. Silently she lifted up her shirt, the welt above her stomach almost throbbing, purples and blues intermixed in a painful mark of violence.

Her mother instinctively brought her hand to her mouth.

Deidre stepped back into the house, gripping the door. 'I hope he keeps you warm at night.' The glass panes shook as she shut her mother out and calmly returned to the dishes.

Six Fifty-Nine.

Shauna had been watching the clock since midnight. IT clicked to seven o'clock and Melissa's hand reached out instinctively and ceased the beeping.

The skirt was a little long and the shirt was small but Melissa's uniform fitted. Shauna eyed her dark eyes, unkempt mess of hair, colourless face, and instead of picking up a hairbrush or make-up bag, promptly left the bathroom for breakfast.

The long night had given was to a promisingly long day at school, and as a precaution, Shauna had called Marcia, telling her she couldn't make it to work for the first time since she'd graciously accepted the job.


Daniel fell through the crowd trying to get to her. 'Shauna!' But everyone was moving off to class, blocking his way, and his heavy bag was slowing him down. A hand firmly gripped his arm and he turned to a cheery looking Jess.

He groaned. 'It's too early Jess'

'For what?'

'For.. I don't know! If you see Shauna, tell her I was looking okay?'

With that he rushed off, not staying long enough to see her pout as she headed off in the other direction, deliberately forgetting his request.


Shauna struggled to lift her canvas to the bench top. After a short but frantic search she located the pieces to her Major and set to work. She could hear Melissa's shrill squeals across the room and turned to see Adrian chasing her with a paint brush. She had noticed they had been a lot more affectionate towards each other that day, since the tension between her and Mel had broken.

She smiled, thinking of Daniel whom she'd been avoiding the past few days, and had an overwhelming feeling of instant guilt. Busying herself, she moved her sketches to the side to locate her masterpiece that she'd been working on for over a month, and her breath fell short.

She bit her lip, drawing blood and shaking her head to herself in impossible frustration. A large portion had been torn off the bottom, ruining the entire picture and her delirious hours of work. She began to shake, picking up her books, leaving her work splayed out on the desk and rushing out of the classroom.

She stopped at her locker, fiddling with the lock and slamming it open, letting everything fall to the ground. She shoved all her books inside and took out her spare house keys; her mother wouldn't be home until later. She closed it carefully, leaning down to pick up her schoolbag and some stray fallen papers.

A particular piece caught her eye, and she unfolded it, astonished to find her missing art piece, torn roughly from it's main picture. She studied it in confusion before turning it over, feeling dizzy at the writing on the other side.

I hope you liked my message- I knew it was something only you would appreciate. I meant it Shauna. Let me know what's happening with us, leave me a note in your locker, I'm sure I'll be able to get it just fine. xox

Shauna's legs trembled as she quickly hid the note; Daniel rushing towards her looking agitated.

Holy cow! Now I really want to know who it is!! It can't be Daniel can it? That would be so strange... But I'm not sure it could be him because of the pictures... Ug, I'm so confused!!!

Aww... poor Shauna

I am completely in Love with your story. Do you have any tips for beginning writers?

this is so sad.... *tear tear*!!!!

o and i meant to ask u, if you are having trouble getting into globalboards, because it's telling me that the address no longer exsists!!!

Oh my gosh... that is so sad... (Mitch's part)

So Jai is gonna help Deidre raise the child? That's pretty sweet.


I'm attempting to write a Harry Potter fanfic about Regulus - but I don't think I have the "talent" needed. But that's okay, because I like reading everyone else's fanfics!

Wow, that's really creepy... Adrian - I never would have guessed!

speechless!!

Wow, you continue to amaze me!

Next Chap contains graphic romance. Just a warning

It's okay - as long as it is astounding! (as always)

ya it's a tad more detailed then the first i believe. VV long chapter..

It's nice. Shauna seems to be in TOO good a mood though... It's not natural! Heh, just kidding.
I just have to say again, you are an amazing writer!! Are you or have you written any other stories? Or is this the only one?

No I'm writing 4. One is yet to be released- I'm working really hard on it, it need research. Bedsheets (my personal fav)is on the other forum and I'm writing a spoof as well with a friend.

xxx

Oh, okay! I'll have to check them out.

I know you don't want to hear this... -- but are you going to post more?

P.s. SLMN officially ends in 7 chapters .

Great Job yet again! I can wait a week... I think... Yeah, it'll be fine.

Only 7 more chapters!?! Wow.

wow I think this is the best story ever written so far it is cool!!!!

This is an awesome story hope it soon becomes a true novel Id buy it seriously!!!!!

heya sorry havent beeen here in a loooooooooooong tym

the story absoulutly GREAT.........................well done!
so how was your prom?

OOOhhh, I can't wait to find out what happens.

I'm so glad you are back!! I missed reading your story...

Did you have a fun week though?

dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnn..............................

Very good! You impress me more and more everytime. I can't believe it's going to end! I'm so sad...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :happybday:

have a fabulous day

the post was great!!!

Dun dun dun...

???

tis a great post

lol, it's good!

EWWW!!! That's so creepy! I thought she liked Daniel! Holy cow, that took me for surprise...

YUCK........................nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ewwwwwww ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww YUCK YUCK gross jesse ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

lol i guess this forum isn't as open minded. More later.

I'm pretty open minded, I suppose it just took me by surprise...

Great post by the way.

I'm so sad it's going to end! Do you mind if I print it out? (Don't worry, I wont' steal it) I want my friends to read it! They say they are too lazy to go to this site... Those bums... But I'm just asking for your permission.

Yeah that's okay. As long as I don't find it all over the internet


xxx

Okay! Thanks! (don't worry, you won't)

it was great o the open minded thing..... well i am open minded but very mellow dramatic

I figured that much

Yay! You posted more! I'll check out your other story too.

This is great! My first time to this forum and I finished your story. It's really vivid. But I can't wait until you post the other chapters. And that thing with Jess? that was weird!

Thanks... I guess. Not sure if I'm posting the last few chaps, which is kinda sad. Run on over to 'Bedsheets' for a brief explanation.

You aren't finishing here either?

AAHHH! You are my hero! I love you!! GAH! I've been wondering about this thread. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

btw - It's amazing! I think you are one of my favorite writers on this site. You get me really into the story and i love that.

I am lucky to have you... otherwise I wouldn't have come back

<3 xx

Your post is so sad too! It made me tear up... And there are only a few chapters to sum it all up! I'm on the edge of my seat--

Omg i took me forever to read this story and i love it so much and i know i haven't posted here before but i love it so much and ic ould post of my stupid computer.

lol thanks babe that's perfectly ok.. I'm working on the next chap..

Hey i was wondering i just recently started my own peice its harry/ginny hermione/ron. JW if you could check it out. Cant wait till post more

I'll take a look

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! It almost made me cry. It was so...... beautiful!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH!!!

OMFG i love it so so so so so so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I luv the part about Deidre and Jai.I think its sweet. TWINS OMG i luv your writing so much!!!

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 I LUV YOUR STORY THAT WAT THE HEARTS ARE FOR!<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

lol ok! Thankyou dear

your are very welcome

Well, I actually just finished reading it. *Blush*
I know, it was finished a while ago, but I've been doing so much crap for school that I just got to it! So I'm sorry I'm late.
But, I do have some words to say:
I thoroughly enjoyed your story, every word of it. It's genius and the writing style helps bring out the characters, the tone, and everything. You use vivid detail and it helps me get into the story like I am right there watching what is going on. It is an excellent story and I don't think you should ever stop writing.
Now I need to go get caught up on Bedsheets! I haven't read that one for a long time either.
Thank you for your story - I loved it!

~Brunette Angel

OMG I just read this whole story and it is amazing. I have never read anything like this. You are an excelent writer.