The Funniest Family Guy Moments

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Silverstein
post the funniest family guy quotations/moments you can remember! big grin

stewie: "during a 28 day time period, it is normal for a future yonug woman to- OH GOD THATS DISGUSTING!!!"

adam west: "who keeps stealing my water?!"

dragon milly
"Just me, Stewie. Just bein' myself."

Stewie said this when he was trying to increase the size of his uhmmm, before a date.
laughing out loud

nick1811
Lois: you know peter, youre just a child!
Peter: well, if im a child, you know what that makes you? a, a pedophile!

nick1811
(Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration)
Peter Griffin: Uh... my name is...(he sees a pea)
Peter Griffin: Pea...
(he sees a woman crying)
Peter Griffin: ... tear...
(he sees a Griffin fly by)
Peter Griffin: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin

LepperFace15
family guy, family guy, family guy. how is this show so funny? thats all i hear about from kids at school, most of them having no maturaty at all . . . what is the point of the show?

LepperFace15

CrazyEyes
Peter is visting Willy Wonka's chocolate factory]
Willy Wonka: I'll ask you one more time - are you sure you didn't eat anything in my factory?

Peter Griffin: No.
Willy Wonka: I'm just asking...
Peter Griffin: What? Are you calling me a liar?
Willy Wonka: No, I'm just saying...
Peter Griffin: Hey, shut up, Wonka!

Darth Macabre
When Peter sas something like "He hasnt been this happy since he learned how to be potty trained." They pan to a picture of a young peter sitting on the can. Then they pan out to and ADULT Peter walking out of the Bathroom.

Peter:"Hey Lois i did it"

Koala MeatPie
-Chris: Hey Birthday Boy, Want some IceCream?
-Stewie: Yes, but No Sparkles. For Every Sparkle I Find, I Kill You.


and for *Moment*

The return of the fighting Chicken.

Jack O'Neil
(Flash back at a museum)
Peter: Why come all the dinosaurs died out?
Museum Guy: Because you touch yourself at night.

powerfulone1987
This has already been done, it's either on this page or the second or third, but it's done.

is it comprehensible.....

JacopeX
Originally posted by LepperFace15
family guy, family guy, family guy. how is this show so funny? thats all i hear about from kids at school, most of them having no maturaty at all . . . what is the point of the show?

LepperFace15

Shut up!

CodeLyokoFan
Originally posted by JacopeX
Shut up! yeah tell him

stunna1773
(owl hits the owl house while peter is taking a crap)
peter-o god its all over the place. it in my racoon scratches o god

Inspectah Deck
I think da funniest moment was when he did that eletric company scene
"F". "At" "Fat, alright slow down now" laughing out loud

stunna1773
that one wuz great

sinbad
yeah theyre all good, but what about when stewie sung rocketman. Also when peter fought the giant chicken for about five minutes. oh and when peter's tiny grandfather was in a cockfight, and was the same size as the rooster

PeaveyROcker
Brian: you you listen to your self talk?
Peter: i fade in and out.

Parodia
Peter: Brian, there's a message in my Alpha-Bits. It says "oooooo!"

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
-------------------------------------------------------

Peter: Don't worry, I read a book about this once.

Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't...NOTHING?

MC_GG
Peter: "Helican's Reef, then that's where I'll go cuz I'm not afraid of a challenge. Like that time I outfarted Michael Moore.

(Flashes Back To the time Peter Outfarted Michael Moore)
Peter: "Hi there."
Michael Moore: "How You Doin'?"

(Starts a farting competition)

I was lmao when i saw that.

darthvader_fan
what about the time they were all pueking

fruits
when peter gets hit in the shin and he sits on the ground for like, 5 minutes just holding his shin.

Inspectah Deck
http://thatvideosite.com/view/246.html

Tekno Boy
When Peter sharpens all his pencils in his office and then he stands up, unzips his flies and they cut to his secretary outside his office and you hear Peter scream.

Mišt
laughing out loud

I love the part where Stewie starts doing that high pitched voice about Brian's novel, then Brian belts him over the head with a book or something laughing


And Jo: Is it a problem if your penis and your vagina touch each other?

laughing

JONNY
TESTICLES....



that is all no expression

Tekno Boy
Originally posted by JONNY
TESTICLES....



that is all no expression

What's that supposed to mean?

Ok. How about this one from Season 3, Episode 2

Peter: We're going to Hollywood, where the people are sexy and they always say something clever right before the commercial break.
(Pause)(Pause)(Fade to black)

steverules
(Brians mum has died and brian goes into the supermarket to ask for directions leaving Stewie with his mum who has been stuffed).

STEWIE: (to brians dead mum) Come on darling stiff up a lip. (laughs) Oh I'm writing that one down.

There are more still to come. In the mean time you can watch Stewie dance.

Tekno Boy
Peter: First I tried Art class (Am I...am I supposed to draw the penis?)
Then I tried sculpting (Am I...am I supposed to sculpt the penis?)
Then I tried music class (Am I..am I supposed to conduct with my penis?)

DarkWizard
Stewie: "WHERE'S MY MONEY?! Don't ...make me a fool man!!!"

powerfulone1987
*money in the middle of the floor, Stuey, Meg, and Brother have hand on it*

Stuey: "Raise your hand if you want the dollar?"

*nobody raises hand off of dollar*

Stuey: "Oh, well done, well done, give yourselves a round of applause."

*nobody takes hand off of dollar to applause*

(End clip)

is it comprehensible.....

Tekno Boy
Stewie says to Lois' Mother, "I smell death on you".

xxs-
PETER; look my alphabets has a message it says 'ooooo'
BRIAN; peter those are cheerios

Lord Evolution
LOL this has to be the greatest...

when Peter started breast feeding Stewie, and stewie wakes up and realzes what he was sucking...from tht point on was just priceless.

kmurphy62
Lois: Peter, you're drunk again!
Peter: No I'm not. I'm just exhausted cause I've been up all night drinking.

"Is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, I bet it runs just like you, very homosexually."

(Chris is sitting on the diving board)
Pool guy: "Excuse me, sir. You can't park your van on the diving board."
Lois: "This is my son!"
Pool guy: "Oh, my apologies. Hey, Tom! He's not a van, he's just a fat kid!"

Peter: A boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat! You know how much we wanted one of those!

ANd my favourite part is when peter narrates his life

Ultraman Baltan
The best scenes are the Peter vs. Chicken fights. Always have been, always will be.

ariwin
This show is pretty funny!! Just out of whack hysterical.
Has anyone else heard about a game that they are coming out with based on the show?

Ultraman Baltan
I win.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ4Lcp6YkHE

Ya Krunk'd Floo
I just love all the bits with Stewie in.

KingAdRock
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
Lois: Oh No!
Peter: Oh no!
Koolaid man who bashes through the wall: Oh Yeah! (then slowly steps outside)

joelstewart2
I cant believe no one has mentioned this one:

peters sitting down next to lois on the sofa

Peter : BUTT SCRATCHER !?!?!?!?

LOL

vivando-loca
*singing*
Brian: "We're quite a pair of partners, just like Thelma and Louise. Cept you're not six feet tall,"
Stewie: "Yes, and your breasts don't reach your knees!"
Brian: *quickly* "Give it time"

---

Peter: "Look, I may be an idiot, but if there's one thing I'm not, it's an idiot."

---

Peter: *singing to the tune of 'Little Drummer Boy'* "I have a gift for you there up in my bum."

---

Gumachi
When Stewie was beating the Hell out of Brian asking him "WHERE MY MONEY!"

Raoul
stewie's 'mom' rant...

Gumachi
When Stewie wanted to suck on Lois' ****. And when Stewie was playing that tuba behind that fat guy and he just fell.

Darth Exodus
Crippletron. Down right hillarious. But the funniest bit is when Stewie covers Joe's eyes and the whole thing starts to stumble around. Lol what!? And then Peter,'Go to hell you mutant baby of comedy people!'

Raoul
cNkp4QF3we8

Barker
There's a point in the movie where Peter is behind the anchors on the today show yelling for Katie Couric, and she ignores him.

So he throws a mailbox and shatters the glass and yells again.

So she yells "What!?" at him in a very rude way.

And he gets offended and says "Oh, well then nevermind!" and walks off.

And then I lol.

Lycanthrope
Stewie at the baseball game. Where he catches the ball and the kid next to him asked if he could trade his bat for the ball .Stewie trades him ,Hits him with the bat and takes the ball and said
"Now what did you learn"

When Peter finds out he is retarded and is walking through the Bathroom stalls opening them.

Girl in 1st stall: EEEEckkk
Peter: Sorry ,Retarded

Girl in next stall: EEEkkk get out of here.
Peter: Sorry, Retarded

Girl in next stall: Hey!!
Peter: Sorry, Retarded
Girl in the Stall: Aww well your just curious . Come here and let me show you how it works.

OH the Best One.

Quagmire comes into his room after porkin the social worker and she said...
"Glenn I have a question for you. What are you doing tomorrow?
Quagmire: I got a question for you. Why are you still here? OOHH!

BillyJeans28
Originally posted by Darth Exodus
Crippletron. Down right hillarious. But the funniest bit is when Stewie covers Joe's eyes and the whole thing starts to stumble around. Lol what!? And then Peter,'Go to hell you mutant baby of comedy people!'


this one is my favorite...i hella laugh every time i see it

gazzar
*peter and the chicken burst through cool aids wall*
Cool Aid:"wow from this side that's really annoying"

*quagmire is packing up to go on his all American country road trip and Brian and Stewie are there*
Brian:"hey, isn't country spelt with an o?"
Quagmire:" heh, nope!"

tvshow4you
Check this one youtu.be/GZcNXPLaREo

the ninjak
When Stewie is about to kill the doctor who delivered him.

And before he pulls the trigger he says "It's a Boy" BAM!

lukewmacca
*The family go to the dog track to watch Lois' parent's dog race. Brian has sexual feelings for the dog at this time. He chases after her. Tackles her.*

Lois- What's Brian doing?
Lois' Dad- He's violating Seabreeze!
Peter- No he's not he's just positioning hi- now he's violating seabreeze.
Meg- Oh My God!
Stewie- Bow chicka wow, bow chicka wow chi wow.

lukewmacca
*Quagmire drunk calls Peter*

Peter- Eh. Hello?
Quagmire- Hey. What are you doing?
Peter- Quagmire its 2am im sleeping.
Quagmire- Oh yeah cool. Im just hanging out with Joe. So what, what are you doing?
Peter- I just told you.
Quagmire- Oh yeah i just, i just asked that yeah (mumbles). Hey, hey! This song reminds me of you check it out (Rock song plays) Isn't that awesome?
Joe- (In background) I thought you said you weren't gonna call him!
Quagmire- It's not him you big bully! (Whispers) Joe, joe told me not to call you. (Talks normally again) So, so umm, what are you doing?

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