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I decided to create this thread to start to show my liking for some poetry..I'm not an expert, more of a beginner..

I call this one, Life


When life appears,
It shows us the way..
When life disappears,
It brings us dismay..
But when life,
Just takes it's first steps,
Like a baby learning to walk,
It becomes the beginning of a new nature.

When life brings happiness,
Things will live on..
When life brings suffering,
All things will disappear.
The flowers will wither and die,
And the dust in the sand will gather up,
Until nothing can hold it.

Then we will travel into another realm,
And be gathered up again,
As life takes it's first steps into reality.

Life..it's all a dream..



~As you all probably noticed, not alot of it rhymes. As I said, I am a beginner and am always accepting advice and compliments so i can learn to forge even more of what I want to do. Thank you for taking the time to even take a peek at this. It really means alot..~

Well poetry isn't all about rhyming hun. I myself write many of my poems in free verse so don't worry about that

Not bad

Thanks..

I'm thinking up a new poem and will be posting it soon..

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Thanks..

I'm thinking up a new poem and will be posting it soon..
I'll be looking forward to reading it

Alright..

This is another one about Life, but it's more influenced..

~When life looks at you,
what do you see?
Hatred? Hope?
Love or Despair?
Iron bars hold life in,
Like a hound held back by a chain.

City walls can't hide life's mistakes.
When life is brought,
There is also destruction.
Since life has no meaning,
We stand looking dull.

When you think you're alone,
Someone will show you,
How to be,
The last one standing.
They will teach you what's wrong,
And what's right.
In return,
All they ask,
Is for life.~

Gimmie a rating on what you think..

That was good 8/10

Puddin says somthing about u makin her a song sometime....can u post that? She said it was good..if you still have it.

Originally posted by Tillie
That was good 8/10

Puddin says somthing about u makin her a song sometime....can u post that? She said it was good..if you still have it. ..I did? Hmm..lemme check and see, I don't really remember

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
..I did? Hmm..lemme check and see, I don't really remember
I don't know if you did, she told me ask u to post it..confused it's okay if you dont find it. It's not that important.

Nope, nothing..

I would say bout 8/10 too

Thankies everyone

New one comin soon..

Pretty good shock

Originally posted by Ritoshi
Pretty good shock Damn right shock

I had no idea you write!

Awesome stuff!

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Thankies everyone

New one comin soon..
yay can't wait hehe

Originally posted by Ladyluck
I had no idea you write!

Awesome stuff! It's just my thing, hun..

Here we go..

The Death of Me


I'l die alone,
But not for you.
The aches I feel,
In every bone,
Is bringing me down.
Everytime,
You look at me,
I say to you,
"You'll be the Death of Me".

I feel,
My heart explode,
It bends my life,
And I can't take it.
I don't want to see you waiting,
I've already gone too far away.
I don't need a friend,
Like you to heal me,
I need to mend,
Far away from here.

I'm wasting my time again,
Sitting here by the phone,
Waiting for someone to call.
Let's just take it all,
And end it sooner,
So I can say
"You'll be the Death of Me".




I'm still thinking up ideas and the next one I will post sometime within the week. Hope you like this one, but it's not much..

That's really good. It would make a great song.

Thanks Lea..

I thought it was good too However, one area slightly confused me:

I'll die alone,
But not for you.
The aches I feel,
In every bone,
Is bringing me down.

Should it not be

"The ache I feel,
In every bone,
Is bringing me down."

or

"The aches I feel,
In every bone,
Are bringing me down." ??

Originally posted by Coldfire
I thought it was good too However, one area slightly confused me:

I'll die alone,
But not for you.
The aches I feel,
In every bone,
Is bringing me down.

Should it not be

"The ache I feel,
In every bone,
Is bringing me down."

or

"The aches I feel,
In every bone,
Are bringing me down." ?? The answer is simple, my lady..

The main point is, the aches he feels in every bone from his suffering or torcher are weakening him of energy, thus it being hard to stay up, and thus it should've been the second one. Mearly a typo. As I said, it's not much, and school work is knocking me off concentration..

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
The answer is simple, my lady..

The main point is, the aches he feels in every bone from his suffering or torcher are weakening him of energy, thus it being hard to stay up, and thus it should've been the second one. Mearly a typo. As I said, it's not much, and school work is knocking me off concentration..
Sorry for getting all in your face about it I thought it was the second one, but I just wanted to be sure... I shouldn't talk, considering I do that myself all the time...

Originally posted by Coldfire
Sorry for getting all in your face about it I thought it was the second one, but I just wanted to be sure... I shouldn't talk, considering I do that myself all the time... Ha, don't worry about it..

Alright..here's my new one..

Walk Away

If you could walk away,
What would I would do?
Stand there and weep,
Or follow your path?
I can't keep up,
With everything changing,
In my life.

With everything I say,
You despise and defuse me.
If I could turn back the years,
Of my life,
I would learn from my mistakes,
And make them all better.

So think of these words,
As I speak them to you.
If you could walk away,
What would I do?
For now I am,
The mess you made,
And left for me,
To clean up myself.

And when we meet for the finale
We could conquer our fears,
And take that final stretch,
Into humanity.
So learn to forgive me,
So I can remember,
The reason you left me,
And turn it around.

If you could walk away....
What would I do?

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Ha, don't worry about it..
lol alrighty

Nice

Originally posted by Coldfire
lol alrighty

Nice Thanks

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Thanks
More??

Yep, more will be posted soon..

I'm almost finished one..It took awhile for me to find the right words and such form this poem..

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Yep, more will be posted soon..

I'm almost finished one..It took awhile for me to find the right words and such form this poem..
Oh I know exactly what you mean... I'm in the process of finding the right words for a poem myself... it's not working so great so far haha. Hopefully yours is going much better

Well, I think I'm ready to post this one..

Beautiful Flower

My Beautiful Flower,
You sprout out into the world,
Like a seedling from the soil,
In the wake of the harsh weather,
The sun cannot find it's way through to you.

Withering and dieing before the Earth,
Nothing in the world shows respect,
For a harmless creature like you.
No one will hold you,
When you cry out for help,
Only I will be there for you,
When others bring you down.

When I try to pull out,
You pull me back in,
Though my life comes to an end,
I wonder if I'll see you again.

Beautiful Flower,
You show me the strength,
To stay alive.

My Beautiful Flower

There it is..It probably woulda been better if I wasn't studying so much for my exams, but, I hope you like it..

That one's so good. I love it! Good job

I really enjoyed making this one, It gave me some more ideas for a next Poem..

I can't wait for your next one.

Well, It'l take a little bit, I'm still thinking of what my next flavor will be..

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Well, I think I'm ready to post this one..

Beautiful Flower

My Beautiful Flower,
You sprout out into the world,
Like a seedling from the soil,
In the wake of the harsh weather,
The sun cannot find it's way through to you.

Withering and dieing before the Earth,
Nothing in the world shows respect,
For a harmless creature like you.
No one will hold you,
When you cry out for help,
Only I will be there for you,
When others bring you down.

When I try to pull out,
You pull me back in,
Though my life comes to an end,
I wonder if I'll see you again.

Beautiful Flower,
You show me the strength,
To stay alive.

My Beautiful Flower

There it is..It probably woulda been better if I wasn't studying so much for my exams, but, I hope you like it..
I like it
Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Well, It'l take a little bit, I'm still thinking of what my next flavor will be..
hehe well hurry it up then!

I'm trying..GAAH..

I'm sorry to announce that my poetry will be delayed for awhile..

I will be in New York for a week, but I should be back to writing poetry soon..

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
I'm trying..GAAH..
aww lol hug
Originally posted by Spawn_Master
I'm sorry to announce that my poetry will be delayed for awhile..

I will be in New York for a week, but I should be back to writing poetry soon..
You'd better get back to it soon!!! lol. Have fun hun

It will be back once I return.

I'm not leaving until the 21st, but I'm packing now and planning out my schedule..

1. Jazz Cafe's droolio

2. Not decided yet

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
It will be back once I return.

I'm not leaving until the 21st, but I'm packing now and planning out my schedule..

1. Jazz Cafe's droolio

2. Not decided yet
haha nice

I'm back

I've already begun on a new poem.

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
I'm back

I've already begun on a new poem.
Welcome back hug

Sweet!

Well, this one took awhile but I finally got it..

Hidden

Why do you stay hidden?
I've already found you.
There's no use hiding,
Everyone knows your there.

Your secrets out,
Out in the open,
It can't be hidden,
Just like you.

Nothing is hidden from my eyes.






It's short, I know, but it's cool.

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Well, this one took awhile but I finally got it..

Hidden

Why do you stay hidden?
I've already found you.
There's no use hiding,
Everyone knows your there.

Your secrets out,
Out in the open,
It can't be hidden,
Just like you.

Nothing is hidden from my eyes.






It's short, I know, but it's cool.
Short, yes, but good, also yes. Although in the part "Everyone knows your there." It should be a 'you're' not a 'your'

Originally posted by Coldfire
Short, yes, but good, also yes. Although in the part "Everyone knows your there." It should be a 'you're' not a 'your' Yes, I noticed that, but I couldn't edit at the time. Thanks for pointing that out though

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Yes, I noticed that, but I couldn't edit at the time. Thanks for pointing that out though
Yeah I hate that lol. You're welcome

This one reminded me of an opening theme to a show I watch, Ghost in the Shell. Don't worry, I didn't copy the words, that would just be plain wrong in a poem. I just thought of the plot of the show and it gave me some ideas

Silent Bullet.

Marching in a row,
We walk to our deaths,
As the Silent Bullet stretches out,
And touches the skin of the living.

Taking our positions,
We scramble to defend,
Only to find our numbers dwindle,
To one Silent Bullet.

When the day's end comes,
We've breached his forces,
And this one Silent Bullet,
Has turned the tide of battle.