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Why is it that of all the forms of media such as anime/manga,tv,movies,music american comic books have the least fanfiction?

I mean seriously comics fans write the fewest fan stories. Why?


Are Superhero fans less creative? Is it simply a fact that females(the majority of fanfic authors) make up such a small group of comic fans?


Or is it that comics just don't have as large a fanbase as say anime?


I would love to read some good fanfics about my favorite comics but for the life of me I can't seem to find more than a handfull. And out of those only a few are even readable.

So whear are all the comic fanfics? Why are there so few?

I do fan fics! i started a Scarecrow origin to fit in with BB on http://www.fanfiction.net/ and... oh, yeah. these are NOT by me but are v. good "Ultimate DC" fanfics!

http://www.ultimatedc.org/

I've done dozens of comic fan fics in the past, but they're all so terrible, I can't stand to read them anymore.

Comic fan-fics are usually unliked because they suck compared to the actual stories. Also the continuity is usually a difficult thing to write with.

I have recently found a good Superman/Ultimates crossover though.

Originally posted by grey fox
Comic fan-fics are usually unliked because they suck compared to the actual stories. Also the continuity is usually a difficult thing to write with.

I have recently found a good Superman/Ultimates crossover though.

I disagree. I've seen fan-fics that are better than the ones that are published by professionals.

Comic fan-fiction can be just as good as any other fan-fiction.

Originally posted by H. S. 6
I disagree. I've seen fan-fics that are better than the ones that are published by professionals.

Comic fan-fiction can be just as good as any other fan-fiction.

Probably because they don't jobber....

Check out the link to the story vs thread below my sig some people on these forums have done some great short stories

I remember a great Carnage fan-fic where Cletus decided to celebrate thanksgiving and steamed a baby.

I don't write fanfiction, but I DO write scripts for comics.

I particularly use old, old, incredibly old characters who are public domain.

Like Doc savage ?

Actually, yes. He made a brief apperance in one of my comics, as an old man.

What ff do you write ?

I do a small range .....

It's kinda embarrassing actually.

I do Hellsing , Kim Possible , Teen Titans (I got sucked in ok !!) , Occasionally a Buffy one shut (Man i feel like scum writing that...) and enjoy crossovers . Like my Hellsing/WOTW crossover....

I generally don't do anything specific. Sometimes friends ask me to write stories about certain things, so I do.

I'm currently wrapped up in a big story which, under the text, is about how I feel about stories, using characters from older media such as Atoman from Spark Publications, Tod Holton,Super Green Beret from Lightning Comics and Rainbow Boy, with a few others, to portray how different stories can be, and what makes them good or bad.

Originally posted by Private Pion
I generally don't do anything specific. Sometimes friends ask me to write stories about certain things, so I do.

I'm currently wrapped up in a big story which, under the text, is about how I feel about stories, using characters from older media such as Atoman from Spark Publications, Tod Holton,Super Green Beret from Lightning Comics and Rainbow Boy, with a few others, to portray how different stories can be, and what makes them good or bad.

Super green berret makes me laugh so damn much.....

Originally posted by grey fox
Super green berret makes me laugh so damn much.....

Me too-Which is why I chose him.

You see, all the characters in the script have escaped comic book limbo. and are aware they are fictional. They know the only way they can stay out is if they become important, so they go about it trying to do it in different ways, except for Rainbow Boy, who decides to just have as much fun as he can before he goes back, and Tod (Super Green Beret) who understands his fictionality the best, decides that his existance can never be important-He's so silly a concept, no one will ever care about him. Throughout, I make Tod seem the most human of the characters, the most real and most relatable-Because I feel that a silly concept doesn't have to be stupid in practice.

So kind of like a self insert...but backwards ?

I like the term 'embodiment.' He emodies my idea of a story that is compelling for its characters.

What does everyone think of my Batman script?

Originally posted by H. S. 6
I disagree. I've seen fan-fics that are better than the ones that are published by professionals.

Comic fan-fiction can be just as good as any other fan-fiction.
For every single good story there's 9000 Superman/Batman love stories.

Originally posted by Scarecrow756
What does everyone think of my Batman script?
its long!

Originally posted by Swanky-Tuna
For every single good story there's 9000 Superman/Batman love stories.

You think thats bad....

I was once tracing through an ok 'Carnage takes over Mary Jane' story and found a Wolverine/Spidey Yaoi .


My BRAIN turned to mush.

Originally posted by jumpmann
its long!

I might be turning it into a low buget film.

Originally posted by grey fox
You think thats bad....

I was once tracing through an ok 'Carnage takes over Mary Jane' story and found a Wolverine/Spidey Yaoi .


My BRAIN turned to mush.

....*BANG. Head explodes.*

From what I've seen alot of comic fanfiction doesn't seem to be purely fanfic.

Alot of it is written with the idea that it could be somthing grander like a movie or a real comic book.


This is the worst type of fanfiction in my opinion because its not really fanfiction. Not that their is anything wrong with making your own movies or comics.

In fact I would love to see more comic fan movies and fan comics but it makes for awfull fanfics.

Like when they write the whole thing in screenplay format. Yuck. Thats not a fanfic. They should be written like a novel or a short story.


I read fanfiction for around ten years so I know what I'm talking about.

It's not like thier is any shortage of ideas if you look at the message boards comic fans are extremly creative.

But for the life of me if they seem scared to death of writting a harmless little story.

For you guys that are writing even if you suck thank you.

Originally posted by littleredhat
From what I've seen alot of comic fanfiction doesn't seem to be purely fanfic.

Alot of it is written with the idea that it could be somthing grander like a movie or a real comic book.


This is the worst type of fanfiction in my opinion because its not really fanfiction. Not that their is anything wrong with making your own movies or comics.

In fact I would love to see more comic fan movies and fan comics but it makes for awfull fanfics.

Like when they write the whole thing in screenplay format. Yuck. Thats not a fanfic. They should be written like a novel or a short story.


I read fanfiction for around ten years so I know what I'm talking about.

It's not like thier is any shortage of ideas if you look at the message boards comic fans are extremly creative.

But for the life of me if they seem scared to death of writting a harmless little story.

For you guys that are writing even if you suck thank you.

Do you mean people are obsessed with writing seven chapter stories , instead of one shots ?

Personally, I enjoy writing original stories about my own characters much more than writing about someone else's stuff.

Originally posted by Mindship
Personally, I enjoy writing original stories about my own characters much more than writing about someone else's stuff.

Mary sue ?

Originally posted by grey fox
Mary sue ?
Who?

It's a term used on various fan-fiction sites it means...well it's kinda difficult to explain ...

Here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue

Originally posted by grey fox
It's a term used on various fan-fiction sites it means...well it's kinda difficult to explain ...

Here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue

Oh...

Thanks for the clarification.
Yeah, what I used to call "ego ideals." That was how I wrote when I first started, but these days (and many rejection slips + 1 acceptance letter later) I strive for more thought-provoking stuff, characters with flaws and unsettled issues. I think one of the secrets to making an interesting character is, give him/her something which makes readers feel unsettled, so that they will read on to put that feeling to rest.

What do mean by Unsettling ?

Characters whom rape, murder and steal ?

Or are just generaly insane ?

Originally posted by grey fox
What do mean by Unsettling ?
Characters whom rape, murder and steal ?
Or are just generaly insane ?

Those could be examples, sure, especially if you're writing about an antihero (which, personally, I do find more interesting). Done right, they can be very effective (eg, Alex, from the movie "Clockwork Orange".

You want the reader to think, "Well, now, how is this gonna be resolved?" Part of the reader wants closure, which the character may never get (especially a continuing-series character). You Don't want a sense of, "Well, everything's just right; the character is set to go about and have adventures, without really changing or being affected by anything cuz he/she is perfect as is. A 'mary sue'.

Batman is a perfect example of what can truly be a compelling character. As a child, he saw his parents murdered! GodDAMN! So what does Bruce do: he spends the rest of his life trying to compensate for this unimaginable loss...something he will probably never completely come to terms with (heck, he even dresses up like a bat!). Add the element of, "Is he gonna kill this guy?" everytime he beats up on a bad guy, and you get a situation where the reader just doesn't know what's gonna happen.

Superman, on the other hand, deals with more abstract, existential issues: "What does it mean that I'm here, with all this power?" Interesting in its own right, but not as traumatic or compelling. It's not something the average reader may generally identify with.

I hope this is clear. I've learned through A LOT of trial and error that making a character seem real is no easy task, at least not for me.

Wow. You've taken this to whole new levels of thinking. (That was a compliment). Me? I've written few comic fan-fics, but I'll mostly do scifi/fantasy. Here is one of the stories I've done lately.
http://www.gamingsteve.com/blab/index.php?topic=4589.msg153964#msg153964

Anyone else have links to theirs?

I've done some at www.avengersreborn.alteredvisions.org and www.omegacen.com (which is the front page for a few different fanfic pages, Marvel Omega being the oldest, and headliner).

I agree, I dislike the script format. If you're going to write fanfiction, do it in a prose format, or grab a penciler and do an online comic takeoff. Scripts should be for movies or other similar productions.

DarkCrawler, did you ever have any luck with Avengers Reborn? The EiC went through a boatload of trouble with his ISP and computer, you may, if you're still interested, want to hit the message board up again and shoot him an e-mail or something. If you're still interested that is.

Generally regarding fanfiction, I try and use some obscure or older characters so that I can take their template and perhaps breathe a little more life into them. We all know who Peter Parker is, he has been defined by numerous writers and storytellers, there is little new direction anyone could really take him in without it being too radical and trite--which is not to say that's bad, I love Spider-Man, but Peter Parker has an established personality and history, which is good, some people work wonders with him as he is, I'd rather go for someone more obscure and use their few appearances as a template to flesh the characters so that I may have some influence upon who they are.

Also, few writers ever try and mix up their styles. Many writers, from title to title have the same voice, which I can't say is bad, much of my stuff reads relatively the same, though I am working on that, the whole business has been if nothing else, a great learning experience towards writing and the effort behind making a cohesive interesting story.

I'm currently working on some upcoming Liberty Legion issues that should be in the form of something resembling the set-up of an epic poem: blank verse iambic pentameter. It'll probably be somewhat rough, as lots of that poetic style depends on the length of different syllables, something that despite four years of Latin and much work with dactyllic hexameter and the great poets of antiquity, I still find to be a quite a ***** to work out. My ear simply doesn't hear it, though I've been told my recitations are enjoyable.

Sometimes though, fanfiction writers don't take it seriously, which is a mistake, yes it is for fun, but never dare craft anything without putting effort into the craft. I find many works to be poorly written, unedited and worst of all...bland. There is more to writing than putting words into sentences and sentences into paragraphs. Words need an order to them, so as to effect the reader. But this is departing from the topic at hand and aside form that I am far from a literary master.

Meh , my work sucks in my opinion (compared to some others)

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/589806/

Read the top one , Marvelous it is one of my newer pieces ....

Originally posted by ScarletSpider


DarkCrawler, did you ever have any luck with Avengers Reborn? The EiC went through a boatload of trouble with his ISP and computer, you may, if you're still interested, want to hit the message board up again and shoot him an e-mail or something. If you're still interested that is.


Ahh, that was the reason he never answered me then. I'll probably try some day.

Maybe I'll get something with Namor.

Probably, Namor's would be an open title, or you could probably take over the Alternate imprint Avengers, or make an X-Verse Namor title.

Originally posted by ScarletSpider
Probably, Namor's would be an open title, or you could probably take over the Alternate imprint Avengers, or make an X-Verse Namor title.

Now seeing Namor interact within the X-men...

I used to write cross-over stories between superheros. Then I did a few Batman short stories...lately I just have pretty much abandoned the fan fics...concentrated more on improving my drawings...

Haha, you could if you wanted, but X-Verse is a full imprint, X-Men was just the first title in that imprint and Gary didn't know what to call that line of continuity. For instance, I write Avengers in that line and it's completely self contained from the X-Men.

Originally posted by ScarletSpider
Haha, you could if you wanted, but X-Verse is a full imprint, X-Men was just the first title in that imprint and Gary didn't know what to call that line of continuity. For instance, I write Avengers in that line and it's completely self contained from the X-Men.

Oh kinda like X-men evolution where theirs no other superheroes ?

Or do you mean your story only focuses on the avengers and doesn't mention any other hero's ?

My stories focus on the Avengers, and I use other heroes and villains but I keep it seperate from X (mostly, I have Angel as an Avenger). That line of continuity is called X-Verse because the EiC didn't know what else to call it, and the starting point for that continuity hinged on an X-Men storyline.

http://www.avengersreborn.alteredvisions.org/xverse.htm

Check it out. Fantastic Four and Spider-Man are open titles, and you can submit ideas for any other character you wish, even just do a couple one shots, Gary, the EiC is a bit shy sometimes, he doesn't know how to drum up support or new writers, so anyone can really come in and with a good idea he'll give you the greenlight. No strings attached, you could simply say "I want to do a Spider-Man one shot, or a So-and-So oneshot" if you wanted.

My Avengers are really weird. I started off with a huge lineup and pared it down. Currently, I have the Human Torch (Jim Hammond), James Rhodes using the Dr. Spectrum crystal, Warbird, Vision, Darkstar, Angel and Black Cat. It starts off after Avengers #25 volume 3 (Busiek) more or less. The regular roster went on vacation or everyone had other business, and some strange shit happened.

Angel and Black Cat had been offered membership before in volume 1 at certain points and had been notable associates so they aren't much of a stretch. Rhodes was given the Spectrum crystal by a Thor stand in (Red Norvell) and I'll be getting into the Spectrum business later. Right now they're fighting the Mandarin and a load of other badguys and Jack Frost has just returned under the Mandarin's thrall. So it's fun stuff, I hope.

I would urge everyone to stop on by and visit the message board and whatnot. We have three lines of continuity:

World Without Heroes: this happens after Onslaught, all the heroes that were lost have stayed lost and the world is trying to cope with that. Check out the SHIELD series.

X-Verse: I've spoken about this above, it currently has my Avengers and a couple issues of X-Men and has loads of open characters.

Alternate: This houses stuff like Exiles, Guardians of the Universe and whatnot. It also has more traditional titles like a second Avengers, Fantastic Four, Excalibur, Ultimates and whatnot. You can basically tell whatever stories you want here, taking off from What If realities, or future stuff, or if there's just no place in any of the other imprints for it.

Originally posted by ScarletSpider
My stories focus on the Avengers, and I use other heroes and villains but I keep it seperate from X (mostly, I have Angel as an Avenger). That line of continuity is called X-Verse because the EiC didn't know what else to call it, and the starting point for that continuity hinged on an X-Men storyline.

http://www.avengersreborn.alteredvisions.org/xverse.htm

Check it out. Fantastic Four and Spider-Man are open titles, and you can submit ideas for any other character you wish, even just do a couple one shots, Gary, the EiC is a bit shy sometimes, he doesn't know how to drum up support or new writers, so anyone can really come in and with a good idea he'll give you the greenlight. No strings attached, you could simply say "I want to do a Spider-Man one shot, or a So-and-So oneshot" if you wanted.

My Avengers are really weird. I started off with a huge lineup and pared it down. Currently, I have the Human Torch (Jim Hammond), James Rhodes using the Dr. Spectrum crystal, Warbird, Vision, Darkstar, Angel and Black Cat. It starts off after Avengers #25 volume 3 (Busiek) more or less. The regular roster went on vacation or everyone had other business, and some strange shit happened.

Angel and Black Cat had been offered membership before in volume 1 at certain points and had been notable associates so they aren't much of a stretch. Rhodes was given the Spectrum crystal by a Thor stand in (Red Norvell) and I'll be getting into the Spectrum business later. Right now they're fighting the Mandarin and a load of other badguys and Jack Frost has just returned under the Mandarin's thrall. So it's fun stuff, I hope.

I would urge everyone to stop on by and visit the message board and whatnot. We have three lines of continuity:

World Without Heroes: this happens after Onslaught, all the heroes that were lost have stayed lost and the world is trying to cope with that. Check out the SHIELD series.

X-Verse: I've spoken about this above, it currently has my Avengers and a couple issues of X-Men and has loads of open characters.

Alternate: This houses stuff like Exiles, Guardians of the Universe and whatnot. It also has more traditional titles like a second Avengers, Fantastic Four, Excalibur, Ultimates and whatnot. You can basically tell whatever stories you want here, taking off from What If realities, or future stuff, or if there's just no place in any of the other imprints for it.

Hmmm .. i may check it out Although I do write on FF net)

Yeah, I'm not a big FF.net fan, it's just too broad. There's everything and anything. I wouldn't consider AvengersReborn restrictive, it just provides a community and set up. It's a different atmosphere than FF.net to be certain, but I've enjoyed it.

Originally posted by ScarletSpider
Yeah, I'm not a big FF.net fan, it's just too broad. There's everything and anything. I wouldn't consider AvengersReborn restrictive, it just provides a community and set up. It's a different atmosphere than FF.net to be certain, but I've enjoyed it.

I understand what you mean , also the Yaoi fangirls their are ridiculous....

Yeah, I don't know why Moses bothered with the Ten Plagues of Egypt when he could have just let loose Yaoi fangirls upon the Pharaoh.

So anyone else have ruminations on the art of fanfiction?

Well i enjoy writing drabbles....

As the Bard said "Brevity is the soul of wit."

Originally posted by ScarletSpider
Probably, Namor's would be an open title, or you could probably take over the Alternate imprint Avengers, or make an X-Verse Namor title. Cool.

I'll probably try in a week.

Would it be possible to write some kind of Defenders?

Defenders is an open title in all three imprints. There was an ongoing series, but the guy ran out of steam and just had it pulled since he was only a couple issues into it.

There's already a logo and stuff set up in the World Without Heroes imprint. I think a Defenders of Champions series would be sweet if they used all copycat heroes. The Avengers are gone, so we get the also-rans. With a team like:

U.S.Agent and/or Battlestar
Goliath (Bill Foster)
Ant-Man (Scott Lang) and/or Yellowjacket (Rita de Mara)
War Machine or some other armored hero
Red Norvell or some other Thor stand in, Dargo Ktor might make an interesting story, I just don't think Beta Ray Bill would fit though. Same powers and all, but his personality and origin is just too cosmic.

Originally posted by ScarletSpider
Defenders is an open title in all three imprints. There was an ongoing series, but the guy ran out of steam and just had it pulled since he was only a couple issues into it.

There's already a logo and stuff set up in the World Without Heroes imprint. I think a Defenders of Champions series would be sweet if they used all copycat heroes. The Avengers are gone, so we get the also-rans. With a team like:

U.S.Agent and/or Battlestar
Goliath (Bill Foster)
Ant-Man (Scott Lang) and/or Yellowjacket (Rita de Mara)
War Machine or some other armored hero
Red Norvell or some other Thor stand in, Dargo Ktor might make an interesting story, I just don't think Beta Ray Bill would fit though. Same powers and all, but his personality and origin is just too cosmic.

Your right their , Bill isn't Thor lite....He's Thor eXtreme .

Haha, I love Bill, can't wait for his new ongoing. But he just doesn't fit into the same kind of stories that Thor can. Dargo would offer a more fantastical element, but is still a bit more grounded. Red Norvell would be sweet, I wish they did more with him in the actual comics. He was a cameraman doing a piece on Asgard, Loki tricked him into trying on Thor's belt and gloves, transformed him into a Thor-form, later Odin adopted Norvell when Thor fell out of favor.

Originally posted by littleredhat
Why is it that of all the forms of media such as anime/manga,tv,movies,music american comic books have the least fanfiction?

I mean seriously comics fans write the fewest fan stories. Why?


Are Superhero fans less creative? Is it simply a fact that females(the majority of fanfic authors) make up such a small group of comic fans?


Or is it that comics just don't have as large a fanbase as say anime?


I would love to read some good fanfics about my favorite comics but for the life of me I can't seem to find more than a handfull. And out of those only a few are even readable.

So whear are all the comic fanfics? Why are there so few?

My story, which is in my sig, contains many movies and comic book characters and other things. People say its funny.

I wrote one a little while ago in an AU about a marvel version of Task Force X...

So, uh...bump.

Sent a submission e-mail to the site owner in Avengers Reborn.

Cool. I have an issue to submit today, I'll make sure to tack a note onto it about you.

What did you submit?

And anyone else hereabouts, if you have ideas, give it a try, please!

I submitted an Defenders idea. X-Verse Imprint, and the characters being the Big 4 (Strange, Namor, Hulk, Surfer).

Originally posted by grey fox
I understand what you mean , also the Yaoi fangirls their are ridiculous....

Oh, like that yuri/lesbian stuff is any better?

Any fights or story lines anyone wants to post on the KMC forums are welcome to use the story vs thread link below my sig

Sick, I'm pretty much the only one in the X-Verse Imprint, so I need some company.

I just used Llyron in a story, but haven't touched any of those characters, so they should be set.


He didn't say it was any better, but as a straight guy, I would say he, and I too, would be naturally more annoyed with Yaoi. The Lesbian stuff is annoying too, it's not writing, it's demented pornography.

Yeah, read your story with Llyron. Nice portrayal.

Thank you. He's definately underutilized. I want to bring him back later.

Yup. He's very powerful and very ruthless, and has a nice history. Great character.

By the way, how long does it usually get to have your submission answered? Just want to make sure that my e-mail got to him.

It depends, I'm sure he got it, I sent him an e-mail last night with a new issue of Avengers. He has to work and stuff, like us all, so when he gets free time he checks it, but he's usually fairly prompt with it. Hitting up the message board too is always a good bet.

If you have any friends or know people online from other message boards who might be interested, tell them too. It's a very open site, like I'm sure you've noticed. Lots of titles open and Gary's open to a submission for just about any title you could think up.

He answered.

Sweet, all is a go, I hope.

He asked just a bit more details, but it looks like that.

Glad to hear it.

bump

Anyone working on anything?

Originally posted by ScarletSpider
bump

Anyone working on anything?

Meh , I had a pretty sweet idea for a Ultimate Thunder strike/Ultimate living Laser...but I can't really write it out. I'm better at shorter pieces of work.

Edited out due to inappropriate content

It felt as if I was reading carver and rage of olympus co-writing a Hulk/Thor story.

Beautiful.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

That would have been my story for the writing tourney, although it's condensed and without a lot of stuff I would have included...

Shame no one else will get to see it most likely.

I got a story I just started working on a couple hours ago (well, long time ago due to edit). I feel it should be canon to 616 characters as it fits.

I tried my best to get the characters down right to the way they act and speak.

All feedback welcome.


Enjoy

Warning: Weird weird stuff happens here, you have been warned

When Gamma and Thunder Become One

Hulk and his equally powerful ally Thor battle fiercely to seal Void inside a dimensional rift opened by Reed Richards. Thor and Hulk were the only ones left capable of battling the beast on equal footing, and Richards was needed to seal the portal lest all life on Earth perish.

After seemingly hours, they managed to drive the beast to the edge of the portal. Thor and Hulk both realized that one more attack would surely send him careening into the portal, and they told Richards to seal the portal. Richards abliged, and soon afterwards a combination of a thunder clap and a hammer throw forced Void uncontrollably into it... but not before he managed to grab the two exhausted warriors and bring them with him to an empty dimension where they would surely meet death. The portal soon closed afterwards behind them.

Reed had tried to open his portal, but it would need repairs as it was only meant to be used once. His friends would need to fend for themselves as he worked on a way to open the portal again.

---

Inside the portal Thor and Hulk both quickly realized that nothing was around and there was no reason to hold back anymore. While quickly tiring evermore, they shook the dimension with pure power and hatred of this black fiend. However, Void would not go quietly as he fought tooth and nail against the duo.

He was of course no match for them as they began to quickly start dismantling him piece by piece. For every limb he regrew, the duo would tear off 2. Even his superhuman ability to reform was being pushed to its brink, but he wasn't the only one. The Green Giant, and the Mulleted Blonde were being tasked by this as well, and they needed to end it fast, and it's a good thing Thor felt like showing off at that moment.

Thor had summoned up the biggest storm he could muster and unleashed storms upon the black being that had Hulk shaking in his aesthetically pleasing purple pants. When it was all over, the Void was no more.

Thor went to thank his companion for his help when they caught each other's eye longer than two heterosexual males should ever eyeball each other. The gaze was ended however when Thor noticed that the Hulk had staged his own fury in the form of a raging erection.

Thor being the nobleman he is told Hulk to "Say nothing" as he reached for Hulk's green giant.

"Hulk confused" the Hulk exclaimed. But this only ended with Thor roughly putting Hulk in a more advantageous position for his... hammer.

The ever seeing eyes of one would take notice...

This was only the beginning.

---

For a week straight the duo had made love with enough force rivaling... nay surpassing their battle of the Void. The heavens shook as gamma, lightning and other fluids covered the field.

It was pure ecstasy for two bitter rivals such as these. But even these good times would not last as even Gods and Monsters have to rest.

Thor would wake first, and he wasted no time trying to subdue the Hulk one more time. As he tickled Hulk's feet to wake him up, a portal opened with prying eyes taking notice.

Reed had fixed his machine at a time when Thor and Hulk's clothes were nowhere in site. The entire Avengers, and Fantastic Four roster were standing in disgust. Thor, not noticing at first was initially saddened of being rescued, but had to act happy when he realized what it looked like.

Thor quickly told them of their clothes not being able to withstand the Void's fury, and how they were more worried about being rescued.

Reed and the others taking notice of what looked like fully intact armor and pants chose instead to "buy" Thor's story.

Thor not wanting to talk anymore about told them a celebration was in order. And that was most certainly the end of Thor and Hulk's venture into caverns best left unexplored... certainly!

---

Later that night at the Avengers tower Thor called Hulk into the basement. He had planned to discuss with Hulk about how this could never get out.

"But Hulk think Hulk love you"

"I think I love thee too Hulk, and in a different Midgard, would even want to marry you. However, thine father would never allow this. No, stay thine tongue Hulk, please."

Hulk looked him in the eyes, and a tear came down his cheek. Thor not wanting to hurt Hulk all at once, had one more idea on his mind...

"But one more time face deep in thine anus shant hurt any."

Hulk was visibly happy.

And the eyes took notice again...

---

"SACRILEGE!"

A scream was heard while Hulk was bareback on Thor, before a lightning bolt shot out of the sky that soon followed Odin.

"I thought Heimdall was yanking my penis when he exclaimed my soon to be bastard son was engaging in gay penis sex with this green moron!"

"Odin, just as you loved wenches and things with vaginas and boobs, I love this man and his powerful worldbreaker. Deep down I always knew. Why do you think mine hammer handle as always smelled of the dark caverns?"

"Enough! I will not have my son frolicking with men! You will come to Asgard this instant, and never return to this Hel hole!"

"And if not?"

"Then I will strike you down where you stand, and end Midgard!"

"...Aye, I will come, but know you have destroyed your son this day without using your powerful spear."

And in a flash of light, they were gone.

Hulk was once again alone.

---

Many years had passed since Hulk's heart was broken. He went on to have his Banner aspect arise again. He went on never telling his friends how Thor really disappeared or how he really felt about it. No one would ever really know, except him, and the bottling of his emotions had almost driven him insane more than once.

One night in one of his nightly poetry, crying, and cutting sessions he had seen a flash of lightning strike a nearby abandoned construction site, along with the sounds he thought he heard of "Cum to me".

Could this be the love of his life returning to him? Could Thor really be here again? He would think of these questions as he jumped to the site.

Once there he found a man in a trenchcoat and no one else. He had thought he sorrow would continue to haunt him, but the man started to speak.

"Cum here you green bastard and give the God who made you scream louder than the thunder a hug!"

Hulk's heart skipped a beat, and he ran to Thor in pure joy with tears flowing out of his eyes and scooped him up kissing him all over.

"We don't have much time before my father finds out, and I want to test something on you."

But they were not quick enough.

---

A blast of lightning shortly followed a scream as Odin found his son doing unspeakable things with Mjolnir and Hulk's rump.

"I'll have to burn that hammer" he thought to himself

"If you want to stay here with this green fairy and this backwards world, then you can burn with them!"

Odin readied a blast aimed at Thor while Thor stood firm ready to take it with no defense. Hulk noticed this and pulled Mjolnir out of himself and leapt in front of the way saving Thor.

Thor was in shock that his love would do this. He knelt down to the unconscious Hulk and kissed him on the forehead. He then asked for the power to do what needs to be done while wiggling Hulk's weiner. Then he exploded... in anger!

He charged at Odin with all his might after picking up his hammer, and Hulk awoke to see his furious attack in action.

"You one eyed bastard!" Thor screamed in a high pitched kid scream.

The resulting clash was so bright it looked like a second sun in the middle of the night across the entire world. Hulk watched as two charred husks fell from the sky. He rushed over to the one he recognized as Thor. With Thor's dying breath he stated:

"Hulk... know... that I'll always... be with you... in your heart..."

Hulk sobbed like a fat kid at this point in time, for it seems he was always destined to be alone.

---

Many hours passed before Hulk stopped weeping. After he gathered some composure he looked over at Mjolnir and remembered that he was able to pick it out of his nether regions. He tried once again to pick it up, and he found that not only was he worthy of Thor's lustful eye, that he was worthy to pick up his hammer!

A flash of lightning came down on Hulk as he found himself newly dressed in hot pink spandex, and a leather jacket and leather biker hat.

But he vowed that he wouldn't be the God of Thunder... no, he would be the God of Understanding and Free Will that only one God before him knew of.

He would carry the memory of Thor around the globe without violence, only sassy arguments. He would put evil dooers in their place with a wrist slap.

He would change the world one bi-curious soul at a time.

A truly touching tale, if ever there was one.

Originally posted by Branlor Swift
"But one more time face deep in thine anus shant hurt any."

Hulk was visibly happy.



You inspire me.

Originally posted by Branlor Swift
I got a story I just started working on a couple hours ago (well, long time ago due to edit). I feel it should be canon to 616 characters as it fits.

I tried my best to get the characters down right to the way they act and speak.

All feedback welcome.


Enjoy

Warning: Weird weird stuff happens here, you have been warned

When Gamma and Thunder Become One

Hulk and his equally powerful ally Thor battle fiercely to seal Void inside a dimensional rift opened by Reed Richards. Thor and Hulk were the only ones left capable of battling the beast on equal footing, and Richards was needed to seal the portal lest all life on Earth perish.

After seemingly hours, they managed to drive the beast to the edge of the portal. Thor and Hulk both realized that one more attack would surely send him careening into the portal, and they told Richards to seal the portal. Richards abliged, and soon afterwards a combination of a thunder clap and a hammer throw forced Void uncontrollably into it... but not before he managed to grab the two exhausted warriors and bring them with him to an empty dimension where they would surely meet death. The portal soon closed afterwards behind them.

Reed had tried to open his portal, but it would need repairs as it was only meant to be used once. His friends would need to fend for themselves as he worked on a way to open the portal again.

---

Inside the portal Thor and Hulk both quickly realized that nothing was around and there was no reason to hold back anymore. While quickly tiring evermore, they shook the dimension with pure power and hatred of this black fiend. However, Void would not go quietly as he fought tooth and nail against the duo.

He was of course no match for them as they began to quickly start dismantling him piece by piece. For every limb he regrew, the duo would tear off 2. Even his superhuman ability to reform was being pushed to its brink, but he wasn't the only one. The Green Giant, and the Mulleted Blonde were being tasked by this as well, and they needed to end it fast, and it's a good thing Thor felt like showing off at that moment.

Thor had summoned up the biggest storm he could muster and unleashed storms upon the black being that had Hulk shaking in his aesthetically pleasing purple pants. When it was all over, the Void was no more.

Thor went to thank his companion for his help when they caught each other's eye longer than two heterosexual males should ever eyeball each other. The gaze was ended however when Thor noticed that the Hulk had staged his own fury in the form of a raging erection.

Thor being the nobleman he is told Hulk to "Say nothing" as he reached for Hulk's green giant.

"Hulk confused" the Hulk exclaimed. But this only ended with Thor roughly putting Hulk in a more advantageous position for his... hammer.

The ever seeing eyes of one would take notice...

This was only the beginning.

---

For a week straight the duo had made love with enough force rivaling... nay surpassing their battle of the Void. The heavens shook as gamma, lightning and other fluids covered the field.

It was pure ecstasy for two bitter rivals such as these. But even these good times would not last as even Gods and Monsters have to rest.

Thor would wake first, and he wasted no time trying to subdue the Hulk one more time. As he tickled Hulk's feet to wake him up, a portal opened with prying eyes taking notice.

Reed had fixed his machine at a time when Thor and Hulk's clothes were nowhere in site. The entire Avengers, and Fantastic Four roster were standing in disgust. Thor, not noticing at first was initially saddened of being rescued, but had to act happy when he realized what it looked like.

Thor quickly told them of their clothes not being able to withstand the Void's fury, and how they were more worried about being rescued.

Reed and the others taking notice of what looked like fully intact armor and pants chose instead to "buy" Thor's story.

Thor not wanting to talk anymore about told them a celebration was in order. And that was most certainly the end of Thor and Hulk's venture into caverns best left unexplored... certainly!

---

Later that night at the Avengers tower Thor called Hulk into the basement. He had planned to discuss with Hulk about how this could never get out.

"But Hulk think Hulk love you"

"I think I love thee too Hulk, and in a different Midgard, would even want to marry you. However, thine father would never allow this. No, stay thine tongue Hulk, please."

Hulk looked him in the eyes, and a tear came down his cheek. Thor not wanting to hurt Hulk all at once, had one more idea on his mind...

"But one more time face deep in thine anus shant hurt any."

Hulk was visibly happy.

And the eyes took notice again...

---

"SACRILEGE!"

A scream was heard while Hulk was bareback on Thor, before a lightning bolt shot out of the sky that soon followed Odin.

"I thought Heimdall was yanking my penis when he exclaimed my soon to be bastard son was engaging in gay penis sex with this green moron!"

"Odin, just as you loved wenches and things with vaginas and boobs, I love this man and his powerful worldbreaker. Deep down I always knew. Why do you think mine hammer handle as always smelled of the dark caverns?"

"Enough! I will not have my son frolicking with men! You will come to Asgard this instant, and never return to this Hel hole!"

"And if not?"

"Then I will strike you down where you stand, and end Midgard!"

"...Aye, I will come, but know you have destroyed your son this day without using your powerful spear."

And in a flash of light, they were gone.

Hulk was once again alone.

---

Many years had passed since Hulk's heart was broken. He went on to have his Banner aspect arise again. He went on never telling his friends how Thor really disappeared or how he really felt about it. No one would ever really know, except him, and the bottling of his emotions had almost driven him insane more than once.

One night in one of his nightly poetry, crying, and cutting sessions he had seen a flash of lightning strike a nearby abandoned construction site, along with the sounds he thought he heard of "Cum to me".

Could this be the love of his life returning to him? Could Thor really be here again? He would think of these questions as he jumped to the site.

Once there he found a man in a trenchcoat and no one else. He had thought he sorrow would continue to haunt him, but the man started to speak.

"Cum here you green bastard and give the God who made you scream louder than the thunder a hug!"

Hulk's heart skipped a beat, and he ran to Thor in pure joy with tears flowing out of his eyes and scooped him up kissing him all over.

"We don't have much time before my father finds out, and I want to test something on you."

But they were not quick enough.

---

A blast of lightning shortly followed a scream as Odin found his son doing unspeakable things with Mjolnir and Hulk's rump.

"I'll have to burn that hammer" he thought to himself

"If you want to stay here with this green fairy and this backwards world, then you can burn with them!"

Odin readied a blast aimed at Thor while Thor stood firm ready to take it with no defense. Hulk noticed this and pulled Mjolnir out of himself and leapt in front of the way saving Thor.

Thor was in shock that his love would do this. He knelt down to the unconscious Hulk and kissed him on the forehead. He then asked for the power to do what needs to be done while wiggling Hulk's weiner. Then he exploded... in anger!

He charged at Odin with all his might after picking up his hammer, and Hulk awoke to see his furious attack in action.

"You one eyed bastard!" Thor screamed in a high pitched kid scream.

The resulting clash was so bright it looked like a second sun in the middle of the night across the entire world. Hulk watched as two charred husks fell from the sky. He rushed over to the one he recognized as Thor. With Thor's dying breath he stated:

"Hulk... know... that I'll always... be with you... in your heart..."

Hulk sobbed like a fat kid at this point in time, for it seems he was always destined to be alone.

---

Many hours passed before Hulk stopped weeping. After he gathered some composure he looked over at Mjolnir and remembered that he was able to pick it out of his nether regions. He tried once again to pick it up, and he found that not only was he worthy of Thor's lustful eye, that he was worthy to pick up his hammer!

A flash of lightning came down on Hulk as he found himself newly dressed in hot pink spandex, and a leather jacket and leather biker hat.

But he vowed that he wouldn't be the God of Thunder... no, he would be the God of Understanding and Free Will that only one God before him knew of.

He would carry the memory of Thor around the globe without violence, only sassy arguments. He would put evil dooers in their place with a wrist slap.

He would change the world one bi-curious soul at a time.


I literally laughed out loud.

My favourite aspect of it was how at the start it just felt like a normal vs fan fiction, before doing a very sharp turn in to something else.

Originally posted by Branlor Swift
I got a story I just started working on a couple hours ago (well, long time ago due to edit). I feel it should be canon to 616 characters as it fits.

I tried my best to get the characters down right to the way they act and speak.

All feedback welcome.


Enjoy

Warning: Weird weird stuff happens here, you have been warned

When Gamma and Thunder Become One

Hulk and his equally powerful ally Thor battle fiercely to seal Void inside a dimensional rift opened by Reed Richards. Thor and Hulk were the only ones left capable of battling the beast on equal footing, and Richards was needed to seal the portal lest all life on Earth perish.

After seemingly hours, they managed to drive the beast to the edge of the portal. Thor and Hulk both realized that one more attack would surely send him careening into the portal, and they told Richards to seal the portal. Richards abliged, and soon afterwards a combination of a thunder clap and a hammer throw forced Void uncontrollably into it... but not before he managed to grab the two exhausted warriors and bring them with him to an empty dimension where they would surely meet death. The portal soon closed afterwards behind them.

Reed had tried to open his portal, but it would need repairs as it was only meant to be used once. His friends would need to fend for themselves as he worked on a way to open the portal again.

---

Inside the portal Thor and Hulk both quickly realized that nothing was around and there was no reason to hold back anymore. While quickly tiring evermore, they shook the dimension with pure power and hatred of this black fiend. However, Void would not go quietly as he fought tooth and nail against the duo.

He was of course no match for them as they began to quickly start dismantling him piece by piece. For every limb he regrew, the duo would tear off 2. Even his superhuman ability to reform was being pushed to its brink, but he wasn't the only one. The Green Giant, and the Mulleted Blonde were being tasked by this as well, and they needed to end it fast, and it's a good thing Thor felt like showing off at that moment.

Thor had summoned up the biggest storm he could muster and unleashed storms upon the black being that had Hulk shaking in his aesthetically pleasing purple pants. When it was all over, the Void was no more.

Thor went to thank his companion for his help when they caught each other's eye longer than two heterosexual males should ever eyeball each other. The gaze was ended however when Thor noticed that the Hulk had staged his own fury in the form of a raging erection.

Thor being the nobleman he is told Hulk to "Say nothing" as he reached for Hulk's green giant.

"Hulk confused" the Hulk exclaimed. But this only ended with Thor roughly putting Hulk in a more advantageous position for his... hammer.

The ever seeing eyes of one would take notice...

This was only the beginning.

---

For a week straight the duo had made love with enough force rivaling... nay surpassing their battle of the Void. The heavens shook as gamma, lightning and other fluids covered the field.

It was pure ecstasy for two bitter rivals such as these. But even these good times would not last as even Gods and Monsters have to rest.

Thor would wake first, and he wasted no time trying to subdue the Hulk one more time. As he tickled Hulk's feet to wake him up, a portal opened with prying eyes taking notice.

Reed had fixed his machine at a time when Thor and Hulk's clothes were nowhere in site. The entire Avengers, and Fantastic Four roster were standing in disgust. Thor, not noticing at first was initially saddened of being rescued, but had to act happy when he realized what it looked like.

Thor quickly told them of their clothes not being able to withstand the Void's fury, and how they were more worried about being rescued.

Reed and the others taking notice of what looked like fully intact armor and pants chose instead to "buy" Thor's story.

Thor not wanting to talk anymore about told them a celebration was in order. And that was most certainly the end of Thor and Hulk's venture into caverns best left unexplored... certainly!

---

Later that night at the Avengers tower Thor called Hulk into the basement. He had planned to discuss with Hulk about how this could never get out.

"But Hulk think Hulk love you"

"I think I love thee too Hulk, and in a different Midgard, would even want to marry you. However, thine father would never allow this. No, stay thine tongue Hulk, please."

Hulk looked him in the eyes, and a tear came down his cheek. Thor not wanting to hurt Hulk all at once, had one more idea on his mind...

"But one more time face deep in thine anus shant hurt any."

Hulk was visibly happy.

And the eyes took notice again...

---

"SACRILEGE!"

A scream was heard while Hulk was bareback on Thor, before a lightning bolt shot out of the sky that soon followed Odin.

"I thought Heimdall was yanking my penis when he exclaimed my soon to be bastard son was engaging in gay penis sex with this green moron!"

"Odin, just as you loved wenches and things with vaginas and boobs, I love this man and his powerful worldbreaker. Deep down I always knew. Why do you think mine hammer handle as always smelled of the dark caverns?"

"Enough! I will not have my son frolicking with men! You will come to Asgard this instant, and never return to this Hel hole!"

"And if not?"

"Then I will strike you down where you stand, and end Midgard!"

"...Aye, I will come, but know you have destroyed your son this day without using your powerful spear."

And in a flash of light, they were gone.

Hulk was once again alone.

---

Many years had passed since Hulk's heart was broken. He went on to have his Banner aspect arise again. He went on never telling his friends how Thor really disappeared or how he really felt about it. No one would ever really know, except him, and the bottling of his emotions had almost driven him insane more than once.

One night in one of his nightly poetry, crying, and cutting sessions he had seen a flash of lightning strike a nearby abandoned construction site, along with the sounds he thought he heard of "Cum to me".

Could this be the love of his life returning to him? Could Thor really be here again? He would think of these questions as he jumped to the site.

Once there he found a man in a trenchcoat and no one else. He had thought he sorrow would continue to haunt him, but the man started to speak.

"Cum here you green bastard and give the God who made you scream louder than the thunder a hug!"

Hulk's heart skipped a beat, and he ran to Thor in pure joy with tears flowing out of his eyes and scooped him up kissing him all over.

"We don't have much time before my father finds out, and I want to test something on you."

But they were not quick enough.

---

A blast of lightning shortly followed a scream as Odin found his son doing unspeakable things with Mjolnir and Hulk's rump.

"I'll have to burn that hammer" he thought to himself

"If you want to stay here with this green fairy and this backwards world, then you can burn with them!"

Odin readied a blast aimed at Thor while Thor stood firm ready to take it with no defense. Hulk noticed this and pulled Mjolnir out of himself and leapt in front of the way saving Thor.

Thor was in shock that his love would do this. He knelt down to the unconscious Hulk and kissed him on the forehead. He then asked for the power to do what needs to be done while wiggling Hulk's weiner. Then he exploded... in anger!

He charged at Odin with all his might after picking up his hammer, and Hulk awoke to see his furious attack in action.

"You one eyed bastard!" Thor screamed in a high pitched kid scream.

The resulting clash was so bright it looked like a second sun in the middle of the night across the entire world. Hulk watched as two charred husks fell from the sky. He rushed over to the one he recognized as Thor. With Thor's dying breath he stated:

"Hulk... know... that I'll always... be with you... in your heart..."

Hulk sobbed like a fat kid at this point in time, for it seems he was always destined to be alone.

---

Many hours passed before Hulk stopped weeping. After he gathered some composure he looked over at Mjolnir and remembered that he was able to pick it out of his nether regions. He tried once again to pick it up, and he found that not only was he worthy of Thor's lustful eye, that he was worthy to pick up his hammer!

A flash of lightning came down on Hulk as he found himself newly dressed in hot pink spandex, and a leather jacket and leather biker hat.

But he vowed that he wouldn't be the God of Thunder... no, he would be the God of Understanding and Free Will that only one God before him knew of.

He would carry the memory of Thor around the globe without violence, only sassy arguments. He would put evil dooers in their place with a wrist slap.

He would change the world one bi-curious soul at a time. I give this story a 8/10

Originally posted by Branlor Swift
I got a story I just started working on a couple hours ago (well, long time ago due to edit). I feel it should be canon to 616 characters as it fits.

I tried my best to get the characters down right to the way they act and speak.

All feedback welcome.


Enjoy

Warning: Weird weird stuff happens here, you have been warned

When Gamma and Thunder Become One

Hulk and his equally powerful ally Thor battle fiercely to seal Void inside a dimensional rift opened by Reed Richards. Thor and Hulk were the only ones left capable of battling the beast on equal footing, and Richards was needed to seal the portal lest all life on Earth perish.

After seemingly hours, they managed to drive the beast to the edge of the portal. Thor and Hulk both realized that one more attack would surely send him careening into the portal, and they told Richards to seal the portal. Richards abliged, and soon afterwards a combination of a thunder clap and a hammer throw forced Void uncontrollably into it... but not before he managed to grab the two exhausted warriors and bring them with him to an empty dimension where they would surely meet death. The portal soon closed afterwards behind them.

Reed had tried to open his portal, but it would need repairs as it was only meant to be used once. His friends would need to fend for themselves as he worked on a way to open the portal again.

---

Inside the portal Thor and Hulk both quickly realized that nothing was around and there was no reason to hold back anymore. While quickly tiring evermore, they shook the dimension with pure power and hatred of this black fiend. However, Void would not go quietly as he fought tooth and nail against the duo.

He was of course no match for them as they began to quickly start dismantling him piece by piece. For every limb he regrew, the duo would tear off 2. Even his superhuman ability to reform was being pushed to its brink, but he wasn't the only one. The Green Giant, and the Mulleted Blonde were being tasked by this as well, and they needed to end it fast, and it's a good thing Thor felt like showing off at that moment.

Thor had summoned up the biggest storm he could muster and unleashed storms upon the black being that had Hulk shaking in his aesthetically pleasing purple pants. When it was all over, the Void was no more.

Thor went to thank his companion for his help when they caught each other's eye longer than two heterosexual males should ever eyeball each other. The gaze was ended however when Thor noticed that the Hulk had staged his own fury in the form of a raging erection.

Thor being the nobleman he is told Hulk to "Say nothing" as he reached for Hulk's green giant.

"Hulk confused" the Hulk exclaimed. But this only ended with Thor roughly putting Hulk in a more advantageous position for his... hammer.

The ever seeing eyes of one would take notice...

This was only the beginning.

---

For a week straight the duo had made love with enough force rivaling... nay surpassing their battle of the Void. The heavens shook as gamma, lightning and other fluids covered the field.

It was pure ecstasy for two bitter rivals such as these. But even these good times would not last as even Gods and Monsters have to rest.

Thor would wake first, and he wasted no time trying to subdue the Hulk one more time. As he tickled Hulk's feet to wake him up, a portal opened with prying eyes taking notice.

Reed had fixed his machine at a time when Thor and Hulk's clothes were nowhere in site. The entire Avengers, and Fantastic Four roster were standing in disgust. Thor, not noticing at first was initially saddened of being rescued, but had to act happy when he realized what it looked like.

Thor quickly told them of their clothes not being able to withstand the Void's fury, and how they were more worried about being rescued.

Reed and the others taking notice of what looked like fully intact armor and pants chose instead to "buy" Thor's story.

Thor not wanting to talk anymore about told them a celebration was in order. And that was most certainly the end of Thor and Hulk's venture into caverns best left unexplored... certainly!

---

Later that night at the Avengers tower Thor called Hulk into the basement. He had planned to discuss with Hulk about how this could never get out.

"But Hulk think Hulk love you"

"I think I love thee too Hulk, and in a different Midgard, would even want to marry you. However, thine father would never allow this. No, stay thine tongue Hulk, please."

Hulk looked him in the eyes, and a tear came down his cheek. Thor not wanting to hurt Hulk all at once, had one more idea on his mind...

"But one more time face deep in thine anus shant hurt any."

Hulk was visibly happy.

And the eyes took notice again...

---

"SACRILEGE!"

A scream was heard while Hulk was bareback on Thor, before a lightning bolt shot out of the sky that soon followed Odin.

"I thought Heimdall was yanking my penis when he exclaimed my soon to be bastard son was engaging in gay penis sex with this green moron!"

"Odin, just as you loved wenches and things with vaginas and boobs, I love this man and his powerful worldbreaker. Deep down I always knew. Why do you think mine hammer handle as always smelled of the dark caverns?"

"Enough! I will not have my son frolicking with men! You will come to Asgard this instant, and never return to this Hel hole!"

"And if not?"

"Then I will strike you down where you stand, and end Midgard!"

"...Aye, I will come, but know you have destroyed your son this day without using your powerful spear."

And in a flash of light, they were gone.

Hulk was once again alone.

---

Many years had passed since Hulk's heart was broken. He went on to have his Banner aspect arise again. He went on never telling his friends how Thor really disappeared or how he really felt about it. No one would ever really know, except him, and the bottling of his emotions had almost driven him insane more than once.

One night in one of his nightly poetry, crying, and cutting sessions he had seen a flash of lightning strike a nearby abandoned construction site, along with the sounds he thought he heard of "Cum to me".

Could this be the love of his life returning to him? Could Thor really be here again? He would think of these questions as he jumped to the site.

Once there he found a man in a trenchcoat and no one else. He had thought he sorrow would continue to haunt him, but the man started to speak.

"Cum here you green bastard and give the God who made you scream louder than the thunder a hug!"

Hulk's heart skipped a beat, and he ran to Thor in pure joy with tears flowing out of his eyes and scooped him up kissing him all over.

"We don't have much time before my father finds out, and I want to test something on you."

But they were not quick enough.

---

A blast of lightning shortly followed a scream as Odin found his son doing unspeakable things with Mjolnir and Hulk's rump.

"I'll have to burn that hammer" he thought to himself

"If you want to stay here with this green fairy and this backwards world, then you can burn with them!"

Odin readied a blast aimed at Thor while Thor stood firm ready to take it with no defense. Hulk noticed this and pulled Mjolnir out of himself and leapt in front of the way saving Thor.

Thor was in shock that his love would do this. He knelt down to the unconscious Hulk and kissed him on the forehead. He then asked for the power to do what needs to be done while wiggling Hulk's weiner. Then he exploded... in anger!

He charged at Odin with all his might after picking up his hammer, and Hulk awoke to see his furious attack in action.

"You one eyed bastard!" Thor screamed in a high pitched kid scream.

The resulting clash was so bright it looked like a second sun in the middle of the night across the entire world. Hulk watched as two charred husks fell from the sky. He rushed over to the one he recognized as Thor. With Thor's dying breath he stated:

"Hulk... know... that I'll always... be with you... in your heart..."

Hulk sobbed like a fat kid at this point in time, for it seems he was always destined to be alone.

---

Many hours passed before Hulk stopped weeping. After he gathered some composure he looked over at Mjolnir and remembered that he was able to pick it out of his nether regions. He tried once again to pick it up, and he found that not only was he worthy of Thor's lustful eye, that he was worthy to pick up his hammer!

A flash of lightning came down on Hulk as he found himself newly dressed in hot pink spandex, and a leather jacket and leather biker hat.

But he vowed that he wouldn't be the God of Thunder... no, he would be the God of Understanding and Free Will that only one God before him knew of.

He would carry the memory of Thor around the globe without violence, only sassy arguments. He would put evil dooers in their place with a wrist slap.

He would change the world one bi-curious soul at a time.
*claps*

You deserve to get hired by Marvel.

"Cum here you green bastard and give the God who made you scream louder than the thunder a hug!"


There's just so much win

So, since my first one was a life changer to some, I've decided to make a new one that took two hours due to an inability to sleep. This one is far less gay, and far more Batty... if you will.

Again, I based this entirely off of the main universe of DC (before the reboot), so everything is to power, and character.

For the purposes of this story, which will soon become clear, Batman has a beard.


Batman gone Rogue


"Nooo!"

Batman yelled as Zealot's Creation Blades sliced Commissioner Gordon's face clean off.

"You smelly girl who takes a lot of penis! I'll accidentally kill you for that!"

Batman entered into a state akin to some sort of berserker rage... nay, a sirserker rage, and engaged Zealot in a fierce battle that shifted nearby newspapers that are always on the ground, slightly to the left.

Zealot soon found herself being whelmed, so she like many women in a similar situation aimed for Bruce's batjewels.

"You'll die like your traitor* commissioner!"

*For the purposes of this story, Gordon was selling angel dust to local teenagers, and one of the teenagers stabbed Zealot's latest love interest to death with something sharp

With Batman down, Zealot readied her blades to cut Batman to death, and she would have, if not for an inner monologue between Bruce and Batman.

"Look up and punch her in the face."
"I will."

Then Batman looked up, and intercepted the blades that were inches from his face with a punch.

"Kiiiii-Yah!"

Said Batman as his fist soared straight through her blades and knocked her into the air about 2 feet. And that would have been the end of it had a shattered piece of her blade not came crashing down into her face.

And like magic, the Justice League finally arrived.


"What did you do Bruce!!?"

Said Superman while crying.

"Justice"



---



Now on the Watchtower facing ridicule and stern talk from his fellow heroes Batman uses a rock solid defense.

"She caused misjustice, and then justice came down crashing through her brain"

"Bruce, your direct actions were the cause of Zealot dying (to death), and quite frankly, I disapprove."

Wonder Woman's harsh words had pierced the exterior of Bruce's soul and even he was taken back.

"I would have never did this had I not thought it was necessary. You of all people should understand the lengths we heroes take to preserve justice. I may not have super strength, or powers of any kind, but I have a super sense of right and wrong. And Zealot sucked and she deserved to face justice."

"You've made your case Bruce. But we will decide in this completely other room what your fate will be. Now, Firestorm will watch you while me, Superman, Hal, Flash, Kyle, Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, and Guy Gardner decide what to do with you and the mess you made."

"OK."

Said Batman. But he said it in a sort of cold way that sent shivers down the Leagues spines.


---


"I think we should kick him out. He's been a big problem recently, and quite frankly, he scares the guff out of me."

- Superman's vote

"Honestly, Bruce did make a pretty good point about Zealot sucking. Plus I did the same thing before when you tried to brutally murder me Clark, but then I slit your throat and snapped Max's neck. Batman stays."

- WW

"Batman has the means to defeat all of us, and I'd imagine he'd go ROGUE if he was kicked out of the League. Keep your friends close, and your Batmen closer I always say."

- Hal

"Batman made a quick decision in the heat of battle, and it was a hasty one. We can't keep such quick tempered people on the League if they can't choose the right decision speedy fast!"

- Flash

"Batman should leave. I wouldn't want him murdering one of us just because we killed some random human."

- MM

"This reminds me of the only iconic thing about myself, and that was when I found my girlfriend in the fridge. The horror! Batman should stay away because he's mean and scary."

- Kyle

"Meh see, Batman's a bad egg see. The copper died cuz he was crooked see. Batman thinks he's calling shots, but he's not ya hear? Batman's a rough roller, but he's not crackin down on this geese. I want him outta this town ya hear?"

- Guy

"I don't even know why I'm in space."

- Aquaman


And so, with the votes so in favor of kicking Batman out of the League, they went to confront him.


---


As the League was approaching, Batman sensed his Bat Senses tingling. Something was amidst and it was in this very room. So Batman looked over at Firestorm, who was staring at him unblinkingly for the better part of 10 minutes with the dumbest smile on his face ever, and Batman being the detective he is, deduced that something was wrong. Not because of the dumb smile, or the stares. But because Firestorm kept mumbling things like "Kill all humans" and "Eat the remains" for the entire time, and Batman started to grow suspicious.

So Batman put his best detective skills to the test and punched a hole in Firestorm's chest cavity just as the League was walking in.

"That was my beau you hurt there boy. You're in for a world of paintown courtesy of my fists and maybe my feet."

Superman had been dating Firestorm for months and was largely supported by the League for his finally coming out of the closet, and this was his tipping point. He exploded at Batman with all his anger and the League was right behind him.

The initial rush was enough to knock Batman through the spacestation and onto the moon. But he soon recovered and punched Superman off his feet while simultaneously kicking Kyle and Hal and headbutting Wonder Woman. The force was so great that they flew at least 2 feet, and were severely dazed by his assault. The four recovered and tried to engage Batman again.

But Batman was too slick, too battle trained for these warriors. He dodged lightspeed punches, he rolled with high powered kicks, he parried swords and tridents, and shattered shields and MM's goo hands. The League realized they'd need a different strategy if they wished to destroyed their traitorous ex League mate. So MM's mental powers formulated a plan with the League, and Batman soon found what they were thinking.

They used everything in their power to finally get a hold of Batman and threw him into the planet below.


---


"Is he dead?"

"No, a force like that could never kill Batman. He's too wily."

"Flash, we're going to send you to where Batman landed, and we'll be back, oh we'll be back muhahahahaha!"

"Be back in a jiffy see, and then we'll settle the beef with this duke! Yous give him the biznez, the old one two ya see and we'll be back to make him sleep with da fishes."

So after Hal gracefully carried Flash to his location, the League left on their task.

Flash, while having doubts of this plan, knew he had to hold Batman here or their plan was ruined. And he knew to accomplish this, he had to cut loose. So like a good boy, Flash tapped into the deepest reaches of his Speed Force and used it to blitz Batman.

While momentarily being overwhelmed by this assault, Batman gained some composure and fought back tooth and wing.

Batman may not have been able to move like Flash, but he could at least match his every move with his peak human reflexes. And Flash didn't like this one bit because that was his whole thing, being fast and shit.

So he called out his ultimate attack, the Infinity Mass Punch. Now, I don't need to tell you how much of a large ballsack moment this is, because we all saw that one scan where he hits that dude. But yeah, this shit is happened. Sit back and flick off.

So Flash starts landing IMP after IMP on Batman, and Batman's like "batdicks!" as he flies entire continents with each hit. So after about a thousand IMP's, Batman rolls with the last one as he winks at Flash through his cowl.

"Got your timing down Speed Lad"

And with those words Batman rolled backwards while his foot came up to an overextended Flash's jaw. WHATAHIT! Flash must have flew at least 4 feet with that shot, and he was out cold.

Suddenly the sky turned dark coincidentally as he just finished his kick of bat. He looked up in the sky and saw another planet. For the love of Bat, this was happening.


---


Mars lay poised to collide with the planet, and behind this, was one very angry scorned man who's lover had just been punched in the chest and died as a result of being punched in the chest. Along with the rest of the League who were also helping just as much, but we should attribute this feat entirely to Superman because his name starts with Super, and ends with Man, and Wonder Woman's doesn't. Although it does end in Man... confusing I know.

"Get ready Batman you gloomy dick and get ready to face your ass thoroughly getting handed to you by a planet."

Said Hal, who really had a way with words, while Kyle, flew down and saved Flash however before the collision.


And the League launched the planet directly at Bats. There was no escaping this one.

And then the unthinkable happened... Batman simply jumped out of the way and safely got away from the two planets exploding. However, the sirserker rage became upon his being again, and he snapped. In a fury, and covered by the League all slapping skins and butt pumping and other shit, Batman leaped straight at Kyle, tearing him completely in half.

*Gasp*

The League all said at the same time. And then Superman snapped again since Kyle was his backup who Superman was sneaking around with for weeks, and Superman headed straight for the sun.

Martian Manhunter and WW attacked Batman with the lasso and telepathy respectively. Martian Manhunter however was quickly turned into a puddle of Martian Manhunter when Batman's mind proved too strong, and WW's lasso was snapped.
Then Batman turned his attention to WW and shattered her Aegis bands before punching her out, and the resulting kablooey from her bands blowing up knocked out Guy.

This caused Aquaman to run back to the space station and hide under some bedsheets.

Hal was the last one left, but wait, holy shit, you thought I forgot about Superman, but I didn't. So anyway, Superman comes flying in and tackles Batman near the space station. Batman replies in kind with a kick to the stomach that knocks the wind out of Superman, and causes his super breath to blows Batman's beard around. This happens in seemingly slow motion for everyone as Batman's head sways from side to side.

Superman however, still has enough in him to lock up with Batman in a contest of strengths.

"I may not be able to move planets like you. Hell, I doubt I could even move a car. But what you'll never beat me in, is the strength of the human spirit!"

And with those words ringing in the cold void of space, Batman delivered a swift kick to Superman's leg, and popped him out cold with a jab to the jaw.

Hal squares up with Batman, and instead of engaging in a battle with the completely human opponent, he decides to instead talk to him.

"Why'd you do it Bats?" Why'd you kill Firestorm?"

"I could tell you, but instead, let me show you what I sensed.

...

You're going to have to fly me there, because I have no powers at all."

And they flew!!!!!


---


While at the table where Batman killed Firestorm, they investigated the body and found a small chip in his neck.

"Why golly jeeze, I guess we misjudged you Bruce. It turns out Firestorm was being mind controlled this entire time. And I bet Zealot was too! Boy, what a mixup!"

"Yes, misjustice was had, but now justice has set it right. Let's go collect the League and tell them our findings."

Soon afterwards, the League gathered around and had a good chuckle about the whole ordeal.

"Well, I guess we have no other option but to reinstate you. Hell, we should probably promote you for your bravery to stand up for what you believe in."

Said Superman flustered.

"This tech looks like Brainiac tech. But let's deal with that another day. I have to rebuild the entire world with a schematic I dreamed up while we were fighting."

And Batman did. And everyone lived happily ever after except Kyle, Firestorm, and the entire population since he only rebuilt the world.

The End... ? IDK.

Certainly not as good as the Thor/Hulk though.

Prologue: Adrift in the Dark

He floated in darkness. He shivered from the cold. There was supposed to be no sound in space, but he could hear the screams of pain - the pleas for help. He was a hero. He knew that. He was supposed to help - but his body wouldn't respond. It was as if he was asleep - but at the same time not asleep - caught somehow in a dream where he moved in slow motion and everything around him - fleeting sounds and images - moved at near lightspeed. He tried to move - struggled - it was as if his limbs were too heavy to lift. He laughed - how could his limbs be too heavy to lift when he could control gravitons? With a mighty effort he forced his eyes open - blinking to clear the blurred images flooding his brain. He floated in debris, slowly spinning head over heels. His head hurt. Around him was a cloud of red frozen particles - his own blood seeping through his phasic shielding as the nanites from his uniform and within his body cleaned him, healed him, and discarded residue and waste products. The excruciating searing pain from his face and head began to make him nauseous. Combined with the spinning of his body, it was too much to bear. He heaved - but there was nothing to expunge. He could hear a voice at the edge of his consciousness. He didn't like the voice. It annoyed him. Leave me alone dammit! Can't you see I'm sick? The voice was insistent - demanding attention - telling him to do something. He strained to hear the voice. He didn't understand it - couldn't understand what it wanted him to do. His eyes fluttered and he slipped into the dream again. He didn't notice the Xandarian scout shuttlecraft as it pulled up beside him.


Annihilation: The Guerilla War

Serial 1

Echoes of the Past - Portents of the Future



Chapter One: Rescue

Drax placed Richard Rider on the emergency medical scanning table located in the aft area of the Xandarian scout shuttlecraft. Rider had a deep cut across his face and looked pale; as if he had lost a lot of blood. Rider had regained consciousness briefly upon being brought aboard ship - just long enough to ask Drax to help him learn to fight the Annihilation Wave. Drax held little hope that Rider would survive the next hour - much less be able to fight again.

The nanobots making up Riders uniform shifted slightly and a portion of them broke loose and floated up to eye level with Drax as they reconfigured into a mini-bot holographic projection system. The avatar of the Xandarian Worldmind formed around the mini-bot and stood before Drax. "There is no need to utilize the ship's emergency medical services. I am monitoring Richard. During his and Quasar's fight with Annihilus, he sustained a deep tissue injury to his face, a fractured zygomatic arch, a basilar skull fracture, a sub-arachnoid hemorrhage over the occipital area of his brain, contusions to the frontal and temporal lobes of his brain, fractures of C-6 and C-7 cervical vertebrae, and various chest and abdominal internal injuries. I have placed him in a coma and have ordered the nanobots permeating his body to begin accelerated healing. He will be unconscious for several hours; but I expect a complete recovery."

Drax had never liked AI's and he was finding it increasingly difficult to tolerate the one standing before him. "How nice of you to go about your unilateral decision making while we're all running for our lives together. In case you haven't noticed, we have Annihilus' entire battle fleet to evade. We need Rider conscious to form stargates in case we need to make a quick escape."

If the Worldmind noticed Drax's sarcasm, it did not acknowledge it. "I am well aware of our situation. I am monitoring the Annihilation fleet as we speak. They are unaware of our presence due to the cloaking technology on this scout ship. We will remain undetectable as long as we utilize the ship's warp drive. If we start opening stargates, we will give our position away to the enemy. Furthermore, Richard's medical condition renders him unable to fight effectively at this time. I am in the process of restoring him to battle readiness. In the unlikely event that the enemy should overtake us, I can form a stargate for a quick escape without need of involving Richard."

Drax stared at the Worldmind avatar before finally sardonically saying, "So tell me then O wise machine, where you think we should go to escape the Annihilation fleet?"

As always, the Worldmind had an answer. "Please set course for the Tauron system. The Tauron are Xandar's strongest ally and they have not yet been attacked by the Annihilation fleet. I have already been in contact with the Tauron government. They have mobilized their military and sent an escort to meet us."

Drax was angry. "So again you made an important decision without consulting me. I have no intention of going to the Tauron system. The Tauron Syndicate has a price on my head."

The Worldmind was prepared for Drax's reaction. "I am aware of the price on your head. Please recall that you were in my custody before I ordered your release due to lack of evidence against you. I have persuaded the Tauron Syndicate to accept my ruling and drop charges against you. It really is the safest destination for all of us at this juncture."

Drax's posture became stiff and defiant as he faced the Worldmind avatar. "What I ought to do is throw both of you out the airlock and take this ship wherever I please."

The Worldmind refused to respond in kind. "Remember, you were subdued and detained by the Nova Corps. You are currently in a ship owned by me, the Xandarian government. Even though Richard may be unavailable, I hold all the power of the Nova Force and I am far from defenseless."

Drax smirked and relaxed. His respect for the Worldmind had increased slightly when it had not allowed him to push it around. He would never let the Worldmind know that though. Deciding to choose his battles, he merely replied, "I really hate prissy, know-it-all AI's; but our choices do seem restricted and beggars can't be choosers can they? The Tauron system it is then; but I give you fair warning - Nova Force or no Nova Force - if the Tauron try to take me prisoner, I will hold you directly accountable and nothing will stop me from exacting my revenge against you."

The Worldmind nodded. "Understood."

As Drax went to the cockpit to adjust course, the Worldmind turned its analytic attention to Richard. His life-signs were erratic and he looked uncomfortable. He was rather restless and was mumbling something incomprehensible. A scan of his cognitive functioning indicated that he was experiencing a troubling recollection from his personal history.

I only write comic-themed erotica =-[

Originally posted by Branlor Swift

Warning: Weird weird stuff happens here, you have been warned

When Gamma and Thunder Become One

Hulk and his equally powerful ally Thor battle fiercely to seal Void inside a dimensional rift opened by Reed Richards. Thor and Hulk were the only ones left capable of battling the beast on equal footing, and Richards was needed to seal the portal lest all life on Earth perish.

After seemingly hours, they managed to drive the beast to the edge of the portal. Thor and Hulk both realized that one more attack would surely send him careening into the portal, and they told Richards to seal the portal. Richards abliged, and soon afterwards a combination of a thunder clap and a hammer throw forced Void uncontrollably into it... but not before he managed to grab the two exhausted warriors and bring them with him to an empty dimension where they would surely meet death. The portal soon closed afterwards behind them.

Reed had tried to open his portal, but it would need repairs as it was only meant to be used once. His friends would need to fend for themselves as he worked on a way to open the portal again.

---

Inside the portal Thor and Hulk both quickly realized that nothing was around and there was no reason to hold back anymore. While quickly tiring evermore, they shook the dimension with pure power and hatred of this black fiend. However, Void would not go quietly as he fought tooth and nail against the duo.

He was of course no match for them as they began to quickly start dismantling him piece by piece. For every limb he regrew, the duo would tear off 2. Even his superhuman ability to reform was being pushed to its brink, but he wasn't the only one. The Green Giant, and the Mulleted Blonde were being tasked by this as well, and they needed to end it fast, and it's a good thing Thor felt like showing off at that moment.

Thor had summoned up the biggest storm he could muster and unleashed storms upon the black being that had Hulk shaking in his aesthetically pleasing purple pants. When it was all over, the Void was no more.

Thor went to thank his companion for his help when they caught each other's eye longer than two heterosexual males should ever eyeball each other. The gaze was ended however when Thor noticed that the Hulk had staged his own fury in the form of a raging erection.

Thor being the nobleman he is told Hulk to "Say nothing" as he reached for Hulk's green giant.

"Hulk confused" the Hulk exclaimed. But this only ended with Thor roughly putting Hulk in a more advantageous position for his... hammer.

The ever seeing eyes of one would take notice...

This was only the beginning.

---

For a week straight the duo had made love with enough force rivaling... nay surpassing their battle of the Void. The heavens shook as gamma, lightning and other fluids covered the field.

It was pure ecstasy for two bitter rivals such as these. But even these good times would not last as even Gods and Monsters have to rest.

Thor would wake first, and he wasted no time trying to subdue the Hulk one more time. As he tickled Hulk's feet to wake him up, a portal opened with prying eyes taking notice.

Reed had fixed his machine at a time when Thor and Hulk's clothes were nowhere in site. The entire Avengers, and Fantastic Four roster were standing in disgust. Thor, not noticing at first was initially saddened of being rescued, but had to act happy when he realized what it looked like.

Thor quickly told them of their clothes not being able to withstand the Void's fury, and how they were more worried about being rescued.

Reed and the others taking notice of what looked like fully intact armor and pants chose instead to "buy" Thor's story.

Thor not wanting to talk anymore about told them a celebration was in order. And that was most certainly the end of Thor and Hulk's venture into caverns best left unexplored... certainly!

---

Later that night at the Avengers tower Thor called Hulk into the basement. He had planned to discuss with Hulk about how this could never get out.

"But Hulk think Hulk love you"

"I think I love thee too Hulk, and in a different Midgard, would even want to marry you. However, thine father would never allow this. No, stay thine tongue Hulk, please."

Hulk looked him in the eyes, and a tear came down his cheek. Thor not wanting to hurt Hulk all at once, had one more idea on his mind...

"But one more time face deep in thine anus shant hurt any."

Hulk was visibly happy.

And the eyes took notice again...

---

"SACRILEGE!"

A scream was heard while Hulk was bareback on Thor, before a lightning bolt shot out of the sky that soon followed Odin.

"I thought Heimdall was yanking my penis when he exclaimed my soon to be bastard son was engaging in gay penis sex with this green moron!"

"Odin, just as you loved wenches and things with vaginas and boobs, I love this man and his powerful worldbreaker. Deep down I always knew. Why do you think mine hammer handle as always smelled of the dark caverns?"

"Enough! I will not have my son frolicking with men! You will come to Asgard this instant, and never return to this Hel hole!"

"And if not?"

"Then I will strike you down where you stand, and end Midgard!"

"...Aye, I will come, but know you have destroyed your son this day without using your powerful spear."

And in a flash of light, they were gone.

Hulk was once again alone.

---

Many years had passed since Hulk's heart was broken. He went on to have his Banner aspect arise again. He went on never telling his friends how Thor really disappeared or how he really felt about it. No one would ever really know, except him, and the bottling of his emotions had almost driven him insane more than once.

One night in one of his nightly poetry, crying, and cutting sessions he had seen a flash of lightning strike a nearby abandoned construction site, along with the sounds he thought he heard of "Cum to me".

Could this be the love of his life returning to him? Could Thor really be here again? He would think of these questions as he jumped to the site.

Once there he found a man in a trenchcoat and no one else. He had thought he sorrow would continue to haunt him, but the man started to speak.

"Cum here you green bastard and give the God who made you scream louder than the thunder a hug!"

Hulk's heart skipped a beat, and he ran to Thor in pure joy with tears flowing out of his eyes and scooped him up kissing him all over.

"We don't have much time before my father finds out, and I want to test something on you."

But they were not quick enough.

---

A blast of lightning shortly followed a scream as Odin found his son doing unspeakable things with Mjolnir and Hulk's rump.

"I'll have to burn that hammer" he thought to himself

"If you want to stay here with this green fairy and this backwards world, then you can burn with them!"

Odin readied a blast aimed at Thor while Thor stood firm ready to take it with no defense. Hulk noticed this and pulled Mjolnir out of himself and leapt in front of the way saving Thor.

Thor was in shock that his love would do this. He knelt down to the unconscious Hulk and kissed him on the forehead. He then asked for the power to do what needs to be done while wiggling Hulk's weiner. Then he exploded... in anger!

He charged at Odin with all his might after picking up his hammer, and Hulk awoke to see his furious attack in action.

"You one eyed bastard!" Thor screamed in a high pitched kid scream.

The resulting clash was so bright it looked like a second sun in the middle of the night across the entire world. Hulk watched as two charred husks fell from the sky. He rushed over to the one he recognized as Thor. With Thor's dying breath he stated:

"Hulk... know... that I'll always... be with you... in your heart..."

Hulk sobbed like a fat kid at this point in time, for it seems he was always destined to be alone.

---

Many hours passed before Hulk stopped weeping. After he gathered some composure he looked over at Mjolnir and remembered that he was able to pick it out of his nether regions. He tried once again to pick it up, and he found that not only was he worthy of Thor's lustful eye, that hue was worthy to pick up his hammer!

A flash of lightning came down on Hulk as he found himself newly dressed in hot pink spandex, and a leather jacket and leather biker hat.

But he vowed that he wouldn't be the God of Thunder... no, he would be the God of Understanding and Free Will that only one God before him knew of.

He would carry the memory of Thor around the globe without violence, only sassy arguments. He would put evil dooers in their place with a wrist slap.

He would change the world one bi-curious soul at a time.

And then...