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This is the thread where you take scenes from the movie and translate them into what the characters were implying with what they said. Its all about connotation, dearies. We already started in another thread, so I'll post what Willofthewisp and I got here (all the good stuff is Willofthewisp):

From the scene where Liz finds Jack in Tortuga in front of the Pearl:

Jack: Elizabeth? You know these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin...
Translation: Did my fantasy come to life? Oh, but in my fantasy you wouldn't be wearing anything. I wonder how vulnerable you are right now...

Liz: Jack, I know Will came to find you, where is he?
Translation: Damn, why do you have to be so charming? I'm trying to focus on Will here.

Jack: Darling, i hate to tell you this, but through an entirely unforseeable set of circumstances that have nothing whatsoever to do with me, poor Will has been press-ganged into Davy Jones' crew.
Translation: I arranged the whole affair to my pleasure. Will is a wimp who can't protect himself, much less you.

Jack: Davy Jones?
Translation: You don't have to make up such outrageous stories. If you want to seduce me, just do it.

Norrington: Oh please. Captain of the Flying Dutchman.
Translation: How can Jack use Davy Jones as a pick-up line?! Why does everything he says sound so sexy? Why can't i be more like that?

Elizabeth: All i want is to find Will.
translation: All I want is to find Will so I can dump him and move on to YOU.

Jack: Is that really what you want?
Translation: Can you possibly resist me?

Liz: Of course.
Translation: Uh, I'm trying my hardest to resist you...

Jack: Because I would think you would want to find a way to save Will from his grim fate.
Translation: It's impossible to resist me. If we go on a meaningless side journey to save whats-his-face, I'll prove it to you.

Liz: And you would have a way of doing that?
Translation: Does this involve you and me in your cabin?

Jack: With my compass (opens it and closes it quickly)
Translation: Give her some slack, then reel her in

Norrington: Oh please, a compass that's broken and doesn't point north?
Translation: I'll talk them into having a threesome yet.

Jack: It doesn't point north.
Translation: I do love to entice you

Liz: Where does it point?
Translation: SOMETHING had better be pointing at me right now

Jack: It points to what you want most in this world.
Translation: Something is definitely pointing at you, my dear

Liz: Jack. Are you telling the truth?
Translation: And is it giving me a standing ovation?

Jack: Every word, love
Translation: Not only a standing ovation, it's demanding an encore

Jack: So what you want is to find the chest.
Translation: Because I can't very well make sweet love to you dead

Liz: To save Will!
Translation: Oh yeah.....Will...

Jack: By finding the chest
Translation: Yeah, let's pretend it's about Will right now.



From the Curiosity Scene:

Liz: I just thought i'd be married by now. I'm so ready to be married.
Translation: The lingerie i was going to wear was stunning. i'm so ready to get laid.

Jack: You know Lizzie, I am the captain of a ship, and being so, i can perform a marriage right here, right on this deck, right now.
translation: You know sexy woman i cant get out of my head, i am pretty experienced in that area, and the deck of the ship would make the perfect area for us to explore that together.

Liz: no thank you
translation: there are people around.

Jack: why not? we are very much alike you and I... I and you... US...
translation: they wouldnt mind- we both look hott naked.

Jack: We're very much alike, you and I, I and you. Us.
Translation: You want me and you know it.

Liz: Except for a sense of decency and honor, and a moral center, and personal hygeine.
Translation: I'm not taking you right here right now on the ship.

Jack: Trifles
Translations: Even if I dare you to?

Jack: You'll come over to my side. I know it.
Translation: And then from my side into the cabin

Liz: You seem very certain
Translation: And hot, don't forget hot.

Jack: One word, love, curiosity.
Translation: I'm undressing you with my eyes even as we speak.

(some dialogue, cuts down to her not being able to resist)

Liz: Why doesn't your compass work?
Translation: How much do you want me?

Jack: My compass works fine.
Translation: You won't win that easily....yet

From the scene right after they blow up the kraken, partly.

Jack: Abandon ship.
Translation: I've made my decision. No turning back.

Gibbs: Jack! The pearl!
Translation: We're all going to be out of a job if we live through this.

Jack: She's only a ship mate.
Translation: She's not as hott as Lizzie.

Liz: He's right. We have to head for land.
Translation: Cause I'm not risking a love scene on a sinking ship.

Pintel/Ragetti: Thats a lot of open water.
Translation: You two can't keep away from each other. You really think you'll be able to restrain yourselves all the way to land?

Will: We have to try. We can get away as it takes down the Pearl.
Translation: I get the feeling there is something going on that I'm not aware of on this ship.

Gibbs: Abandon Ship. Abandon ship or abandon hope.
Translation: Crap. this means going back to HER...


Liz: Thank you Jack.
Translation: You are my hero. You win this round.

Jack: We're not free yet love.
Translation: Will is 10 feet away, and he has a weapon.

Liz: You came back. I always knew you were a good man.
Translation: Even without lingerie, I got you.

Long sexy kiss.

Liz: It's after you not the ship. It's not us. This is the only way don't you see? I'm not sorry.
Translation: How far are you willing to go for me? Can you believe I am as kinky as you? I'll probably kill myself if you don't escape. How much time do we have left? Could he undress me one-handed?

Jack: Pirate.
Translation: Marry me.

Katelovespirates, this is so funny...it had me laughing tears....they should get you to do the commentary on the DVD when it comes out....BRAVO

like i said, all the good parts are willofthewisp. LOL.

this makes me laugh as well. people need to keep it up. your turn!

From the scene where Jack, Liz and Norrie go onto Isle Cruses to find the chest.

Liz: This compass doesn't work. and it certainly doesn't show you what you want most.
Translation: Its a shame this compass works perfectly, cause if Jack sees it he will know I have no more excuses.

Jack: Yes it does. You're sitting on it.
Translation: I really hope the chest is there, cause otherwise I will have no more excuses...

Liz: Beg your pardon?
Translation: Woah- did he just come out and say he wants me most?

Jack: Move.
Translation: How am I supposed to concentrate on anything when you are in front of me???

They dig up the chest.

Liz: It's real.
Translation: Oh darn... i guess his compass wasn't pointing to me.

Norrie: You were actually telling the truth.
Translation: So this wasn't all about seducing Lizzie.

Jack: I do that quite a lot. You people are always surprised.
Translation: I was killing two birds with one stone. Why cant you accept that I'm Brilliant AND sexy?

Will: And with good reason.
Translation: Get away from my girl.

Liz: Will! I came to find you!
Translation: Well this is awkward. I was looking for you... um... in a hole...

Will: After Jack tricked me and left me on the flying dutchman, i was reunited with my father.
Translation: After I acted really dumb and got stuck on the dutchman, I decided to blame it on Jack. Luckily, he's found the chest for me.

Liz: Everything you said to me was a lie?
Translation: The flirting was real, right?!?!

Jack: Yeah pretty much. Time and tide, love.
Translation: How dare you kiss that runt? Well fine. No more Jack loving.

From the scene after Jack, Will, and the crew escape from the cannibal island.

Will: What we need to do is set sail with all haste for Port Royal. Elizabeth is in danger.
Translation: I hate to admit it but I cant save her without your help.

Jack: Have you considered keeping a more watchful eye on her? Maybe locking her up somewhere?
Translation: If you were a real man, you wouldn't be having this problem. And Lizzie would look hott tied up.

Will: She is locked up, in a prison bound to hang for helping you.
Translation: You consistently ruin my life Jack.

Jack: There comes a time where you have to pay for your mistakes.
Translation: I just hope I get to make a few mistakes with Lizzie.

WIll: I need that compass, Jack.
Translation: Stop making so much sense.

Jack: Will, I will trade to you the compass, if you'll help me find this...
Translation: I'll give you the compass, as long as I get Lizzie.

LOLOLOLOL.. this is pricelessness! "How dare you kiss that runt?? Well fine, no more Jack loving!!" hahahahah

Practically everything you said was DEAD ON!!

Seriously, you should start writing for POTC!!

So much to read so litle time

from the first movie...

Pintel: You'll be dining with the captain, and he requests you wear this.
Translation: Be prepared for seduction, Barbossa-style.

Liz: You may tell the captain that i am disinclined to aquiese to his request.
Translation: He's ugly.

Pintel: He said you'd say that. He also said if that be the case, you'll be dining with the crew, and you'll be naked.
Translation: Prepare for seduction, MY style...

Liz: (grabs dress)
Translation: If I were dining with the rightful owner of this ship, captain sparrow, i would have no problem with that...

awe, where did willofthewisp go? i need more laughs...

I'm trying to think of a scene, lol.


(Will and Liz get back on the Pearl)

Gibbs: Boy, where be Jack?
Translation: Finally, a chance to be captain.

Liz: Jack? Jack Sparrow?!
Translation: Wow, Will's in over his head and I'm getting a little hot.

Will: He fell behind.
Translation: I never felt more alive! Taking out that sorry drunk with one hit! I want to hit something else!!!!

HAHAHAHA that was great... keep going!!!!

do the persuade me scene!!!!

uh, wow. Should really memorize the movie.

Maid: It's been a trying day for you, miss.
Translation: Man, what I'd give to have a trying day with Jack Sparrow.

Liz: Well, I didn't think Commodore Norrington would have proposed today.
Translation: Honestly, I thought he was gay. There's a reason why navy men's pants button in the back.

Maid: I mean you getting threatened by that pirate. Must have been terrifying.
Translation: And HOT!!!!!!!! Nothing ever happens to me.

Liz: Oh? Yes, it was terrifying.
Translation: Heart-racing anyway

Maid: But Commodore Norrington proposed? That is a smart match, miss.
Translation: But you and smart don't usually go together. Give me Jack!

Liz: Yes. The man any woman would hope to marry.
Translation: Which is why I'm going to go be a pirate. Kiss my ass, 1600s society!

Maid: Will Turner is a fine man, too.
Translation: I can't believe I said it with a straight face.

Liz: That is too bold
Translation: And too untrue.

what are we doing?

It's what the characters are really thinking or trying to say when they say their lines.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Im running out of words like brilliant and amazing to express my appreciation for the glory of this humor. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

thats fabulous.

I;m still waiting for the "persuade me" scene...

Originally posted by willofthewisp
It's what the characters are really thinking or trying to say when they say their lines.

I'm still clueless

haha,.. no

no what?

I just laughed obscenely hard and woke people up. that was HILARIOUS and completely SCANDALOUS....

OMFG LMAO!! great stuff!

Liz: Jack's compass? What does Beckett want with that?
Translation: Jack gets more interesting everytime i hear about him.

Will: I don't know.
Translation: Why do you sound so interested in him?!

Liz: Where will you find him?
Translation: Cause maybe I will get out of here and find him first...

Will: I'll start in Tortuga and won't stop till I find him.
Translation: I'm so glad you aren't coming on this trip, cause Tortuga isn't exactly the spot for couples.

Gov Swann: No. We must find our own way to secure your freedom. Just because you would risk your life for Jack Sparrow does not mean he would do the same for you.
Translation: If this whelp hurts my daughter, I'll pop him one. And Elizabeth is sounding way too interested in this Sparrow.

Liz: I have faith in you. Both of you.
Translation: You're hott. Jack's hotter.

Will: I intend to return and marry you.
Translation: If I dont make this happen soon, you're going to slip away from me.

Liz: Properly?
Translation: Just in case we need a fast annullment...

Will: Legally if you'll still have me...
Translation: Luckily in 1600s, a legal marriage means you are my property.

Liz: If it weren't for these bars I'd have you already.
Translation: All that talk about Jack put me in the mood.

Will: Keep a weather eye on the horizon...
Translation: Stay here and knit while I try to be manly...

Sorry if someone has said this already:

Jack: My compass is unique
Translation: I'm the best **** out there Liz..

LMAO nice one!
ooh i love reading these!

From movie 1, when Jack just put his handcuffs around Lizzie's neck...

Jack: I knew you'd warm up to me. Commodore Norrington my effects please. And my hat. Commodore!
Translation: I just needed to get her a little closer so she could get the full effect. Norrie, I am closer to your love than you'll ever be! Nah-nah-nah-nah!

Norrie: (hands the stuff to Lizzie)
Translation: If it's the last thing I do, I'll kill this man.

Jack: So its Elizabeth is it?
Translation: If it's the last thing I do, I'll seduce this woman.

Liz: It's Ms. Swann.
Translation: If it's the last thing I do, I'll seduce this man.

Jack: Ms. Swann, if you'll be very kind. Come come dear we don't have all day.
Translation: Maybe I could sneak a kiss or two. Gee, i bet we don't have time for any real fun.

Jack: Easy on the goods darling.
Translation: Be careful where you put those hands. Once you get a taste of me, no other man will measure up.

Liz: You're despicable.
Translation: How can someone look so sexy wet and dirty?

Jack: Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine. we're square.
Translation: Oh, yes talk dirty. I think we should trade favors more often.


Someone needs to do the deleted scene from 1 where Jack is showing lizzie his scars...

we are going to have to rate our translation. its pretty riske. LOL.

LOL! who cares ! iys hilairous!

i agree...no complaints here, and im prolly 1a the youngest ppl on this sight

ditto!

"Gibbs: Beckett wants the Compass. Only one reason for that.
Translation: He's lost his own..."-----T. Maria. Brilliant! Loved it. Hmm. What hasn't been done?


First movie
Liz: But you were marooned on this island before!
Translation: That means you know the best place for our romp.

Jack keeps retracing his steps
Translation: I know I left that condom somewhere.

Liz: So we can escape the same way you did!
Translation: Although I don't know why I'm in such a hurry.

Jack: To what point and purpose, young miss. Unless you have (stuff) hidden in that bodice.
Translation: Man, I wish there was jello in that bodice. J-E-L-L-O

Liz: But you're Captain Jack Sparrow! You (did all these great things). How did you escape last time?
Translation: And feel free to take as long telling it as you want.

Jack: Last time I was here a grand total of 3 days, all right? The rum runners used this island for their hold and I bartered passage off. It seems they abandoned it since. You probably have your friend Norrington to thank for that.
Translation: Wouldn't you rather just get naked now?

Liz: So that's it then? That's the secret? You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum?
Translation: That is so hot! Seduce me more.

Jack: Welcome to the Caribbean, love
Translation: Once you go Jack, you don't go back.

HAHAHAHA once you go jack... thats HILARIOUS.... YAYAYAYY!!!

Btw, im on the edge of my seat for ch. 5 of the fan fic...lol

keep going with the translations!!!!

HAHA luv it! J-E-L-L-O!!! haha thats how im saying jello now! im onna spell it out!

i love the "Oh, suits you sir!" thing under your pic, T.Maria. that vid was lmbo funny!!!! i was like rofl literally!!"Stop! Will you just build me a f***in' suit!"

Originally posted by ivebeendepped43
i love the "Oh, suits you sir!" thing under your pic, T.Maria. that vid was lmbo funny!!!! i was like rofl literally!!"Stop! Will you just build me a f***in' suit!"


lmao!!!

In the words of Captain Jack Sparrow;

I couldn't resist, Mate...

He must have really had some fun shooting that little sketch



POTC1:

Gibbs: Leverage says you....I think i feel a change in the wind says I....
Translation: Speaking of wind......

When Will is going on to the dutchman:


Jack Sparrow: So what's your plan?
Translation:I'm hoping you don't have one...

Will Turner: I row over, search the ship until I find your bloody key.
Translation: Because as usual, i follow through every plan you tell me to even though i know full well that they only end up getting me into more bloody trouble!

Jack Sparrow: And if there are crewmen?
Translation: Please let there be crewmen...please let their be crewmen...

Will Turner: I cut down anyone in my path.
Translation: Because I laugh in the face of danger!...and then i hide until it goes away...

Jack Sparrow: I like it. Simple, easy to remember.
Translation: He's gonna die...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that one was great!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!

From the scene where Jack, Will, and some of the crew visit Tia Dalma for the 1st time...

Jack: Tia Dalma!
Translation: I was hoping you wouldn't be at home.

Tia: Jack Sparrow. I always knew one day the wind would blow ye back to me.
Translation: I always knew you would want to see me in nothing but whipped cream again.

Jack: (smiles uncomfortably)
Translation: I really hope she doesn't get out the whipped cream...

Tia: You! You have a touch of destiny about you William Turner.
Translation: Who is this hottie with a body? How can I get him in bed?

Will: You know me?
Translation: I hope you're not the one from the last time i got really drunk...

Tia: You want to know me...
Translation: Unless you already have, which is entirely possible. I'm so forgetful of faces.

Jack: There'll be no knowing here. We've come for help and we're not leaving with out it.
Translation: Definately no whipped cream tonight. The sooner we figure out what Tia is trying to say through that accent, the sooner we can leave.

Tia: WHat is it you need? You know I demand payment.
Translation: Stop looking at my black teeth. I might get you into the sack yet.

Jack: I brought payment. Look. An undead monkey. Top that.
Translation: No Jack in the sack this time, lady. Have a monkey instead.

Tia: The payment is fair.
Translation: Oh crap. I guess that means no Jack in the sack this time. Boo.

Will: We're looking for this...
Translation: For some reason, Jack needs this, and we are all pretty much his slaves helping him find it.

Tia: The compass ye barter from me... it cannot take you to this?
Translation: Did you break my compass, Jack? Or did the warranty run out??

Jack: Maybe. WHy?
Translation: Crap. Caught.

Tia: Ah! Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants. Or do you know, but are loathe to claim it as your own?
Translation: He SO wants me. Or maybe he wants that **** from the vision- Will's girl. Haha, now he will know what it feels like to SUFFER...

Originally posted by willofthewisp
"Gibbs: Beckett wants the Compass. Only one reason for that.
Translation: He's lost his own..."-----T. Maria. Brilliant! Loved it. Hmm. What hasn't been done?


First movie
Liz: But you were marooned on this island before!
Translation: That means you know the best place for our romp.

Jack keeps retracing his steps
Translation: I know I left that condom somewhere.

Liz: So we can escape the same way you did!
Translation: Although I don't know why I'm in such a hurry.

Jack: To what point and purpose, young miss. Unless you have (stuff) hidden in that bodice.
Translation: Man, I wish there was jello in that bodice. J-E-L-L-O

Liz: But you're Captain Jack Sparrow! You (did all these great things). How did you escape last time?
Translation: And feel free to take as long telling it as you want.

Jack: Last time I was here a grand total of 3 days, all right? The rum runners used this island for their hold and I bartered passage off. It seems they abandoned it since. You probably have your friend Norrington to thank for that.
Translation: Wouldn't you rather just get naked now?

Liz: So that's it then? That's the secret? You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum?
Translation: That is so hot! Seduce me more.

Jack: Welcome to the Caribbean, love
Translation: Once you go Jack, you don't go back.


I LOOOVVVVEEEE THIS "ONCE YOU GO JACK, YOU WON'T GO BACK" GOSH, THAT'S SO TRUE....

Originally posted by T.Maria
When Will is going on to the dutchman:


Jack Sparrow: So what's your plan?
Translation:I'm hoping you don't have one...

Will Turner: I row over, search the ship until I find your bloody key.
Translation: Because as usual, i follow through every plan you tell me to even though i know full well that they only end up getting me into more bloody trouble!

Jack Sparrow: And if there are crewmen?
Translation: Please let there be crewmen...please let their be crewmen...

Will Turner: I cut down anyone in my path.
Translation: Because I laugh in the face of danger!...and then i hide until it goes away...

Jack Sparrow: I like it. Simple, easy to remember.
Translation: He's gonna die...

OR...
Jack....I like it. Simple, easy to remeber.
Translation: Gosh, Will is Bloody stupid....it was easier to get rid of him than I thought...now where is Elizabeth....

Jack: I like it. Simple, easy to remember
Translation: Nice knowing you, Will.

Originally posted by willofthewisp
Jack: I like it. Simple, easy to remember
Translation: Nice knowing you, Will.

funny....there are many different translations for this line...

Jack: I like it. Simple, easy to remeber.
Translation: Will really is stupid, see you later, chump. He fell for that "key" line hook, line and sinker.

Yoho that was FABULOUS!!!!!! Nice job. keep going with it! that was fabulous!!! YAYAYAYAY!

everyone in this forum is so talented and funny, its amazing. lol.

From the scene with Beckett and Liz in 2...

Beckett: Perhaps you've realized that loyalty is no longer the currency of the realm, as your father believes.
Translation: Seduce me or no deal.

Liz: Then what is?
Translation: If you make one out of place innuedno, i will shoot you.

Beckett: I'm afraid currency is the currency of the realm.
Translation: I'm afraid its all sex and politics, darling.

Liz: Then I'm hear to negotiate.
TranslatioN: I love being sneaky and dangerous. Good thing I wore my sexy underwear.

Beckett: Im listening.
Translation: Show me the money, honey.

Liz: (pulls out pistol)
Translation: Bet you weren't expecting that one.

Beckett: I'm listening intently.
Translation: If I were straight, I would completely turned on right now.

Liz: These letters, they are signed by the king?
Translation: Can you please look me in the EYES when I'm speaking to you?

Beckett: Yes and they're not valid until they bear my signature.
Translation: I could actually possibly turn straight for this one.

Liz: Or else I would not still be here.
Translation: I would be on the other side of the caribbean, in a lot less clothing, with Jack.

(bit of conversation)

Liz: Consider into your calculations you robbed me of my wedding night.
Translation: DO you have any idea how painful the bikini wax was? All for nothing...

Beckett: A marriage interupted... oft fate intervenes... You're making great efforts to ensure Captain Sparrow's freedom?
Translation: Its hilarious that even your enemies can see the lack of attraction between you and dartanian-face. Don't tell me you've also fallen for the famous Jack?

Liz: These letters aren't going to Jack, they're for Will.
Translation: Oh please- when i get through with Jack, he'll be chained to me. Will on the other hand can be your privateer or whatever-- that will get him out of the way.

Beckett: I'll still want that compass. Consider that into your calculations.
Translation: Jack took mine, someone better get his.

How do you know all that? Is the movie out, or are you just good at memorizing? I've only seen the movie once and not all the scenes are on youtube.

Originally posted by willofthewisp
How do you know all that? Is the movie out, or are you just good at memorizing? I've only seen the movie once and not all the scenes are on youtube.

You can find the script on line...just type in POTC DMC script - it's IMBD page....

keep it up people!!! these are brilliant!!!!!!!!

..we'll be running out of script soon!!!


Jack and Gibbs on the deck of the black pearl:


Jack Sparrow: On deck all hands! Make fast the bunt gasket! On deck! Scurry! Scurry, I want movement!
Translation: I have no idea what i'm saying..but it sounds domineering...


Translation: Jack actually knows words that are more than two syllables long?

Jack Sparrow: *I want movement!*
Translation: The 'ockey-cokey' will do...but i'm not too fussed....

Gibbs: Lift the skin up!
Translation: ...'you put your left leg in...'

Jack Sparrow: All on deck! Run! And keep running! Run as if the devil himself and itself is upon us!
Translation: ...'You put your left leg out...'

Gibbs: Do we have a heading?
Translation: '..Do the ockey-cockey and you turn around...'

Jack Sparrow: Ah! Ooh! Run! Land.
Translation: Anywhere that has a female body near by...preferably an elizabeth shaped female body....


Translation: Stalker...


Jack Sparrow: Oh! Euh!
Translation: If i didn't know any better, i'd say you were becomming quite attached to me, Gibbs...too attached, you might say...

Gibbs: Which port?
Translation: Port, Whiskey, rum..its all the same when your desperate...

Jack Sparrow: Didn't say port. I said land. Any land.
Translation: Your scaring me...


Translation: OOh...the sexual chemistry is too much i tell you! it's to much!


Jack Sparrow: Agh!
Translation: Awwww! Its a monkey! How cute is that little monkey!! I wanna pet the monkey...and then put him in a stew!


Translation: You know what they say...'Monkey see, monkey do'...


Translation: That'll teach jack sparrow for takin' the p**s out of me!


Gibbs: Jack's hat! Bring 'er about!
Translation: He looks almost naked without that hat...hang on a minute...forget i said to bring the boat about!

Jack Sparrow: No no! Leave it! Run!
Translation: I'd rather run naked than go back and have to dive in the water after it! I had a bath last year, thankyou very much!

Gibbs: Back to your stations! The lot o' ya!
Translation: I love playing captain...it makes them long lonely nights worth while...especially as i have no one to share a bunk with...besides Pintel....*shudders*


Translation: Maybe if i stand here long enough, i'll start to blend in...


Translation: Ooh you sexy beast...hiding behind the steps like some predator of the night...ready to pounce on your next victim...i hope its me....

Gibbs: Jack?
Translation: He's starting to look awfully like those steps....

Jack Sparrow: Shhh!
Translation: Can you not see I'm pretending to be a chameleon?!

Gibbs: For the love of mother and child, Jack, what's coming after us?
Translation: And should i make it a 'welcome' sign?

Jack Sparrow: Nothing.
Translation: Because if i pretend to be a chameleon for long enough, it will realise that it can't find me and swim away....


Not very good but i tried lol

what that was great!!!!! hilarious. i loved the "i had a bath last year" bit...

i didnt know the script was online! gosh i feel like a dunce. i was just doing my best to remember lines, but i probably forgot a ton. now i can go check them!!!! lol.

hey guys ive got a question to ask;

Ive written a fanfiction on adultfanfiction.net (but theres no sex in it or anything...just mild swearing every now and again....) and i was wondering if i should post it on here?

Its only because ive basically took actual scenes from DMC and made them into Jack/Elizabeth moments...

Basically the fic tells the story of what was happening OFF SCREEN with jack/elizabeth (for example, when the scenes were davy/will) that made them have so much chemistry when they were ON SCREEN with eachother...

They kind of have a mini adventure of their own while they are not on screen....sounds weird, i know lmao.

Basically all the scenes that we love with jack/elizabeth are in there for DMC (and ive written them in the way that tells the audience what the characters were thinking etc...)

But i was just wondering if it was a good idea to make it into a new topic and add it chapter by chapter and everyone could read it if they wanted to?

But i just need to know if it is a good idea or not lol

yeah...go for it! you've got my vote

thanks sailorleo

ill put it up 2moz when i know i have more time lol

hmm, short but simple.

Jack: Before we go on, just how far are you willing to go for this girl?
Translation: I just want to know if you're gay or not.

Will: I'd die for her.
Translation: I'll play the hero for her and look great at the same time.

Jack: Good. No worries then.
Translation: Not gay, but you'll learn.

that one was ESPECIALLY good.

its amazing how kiera is more masculine than orlando. woah did i just say that out loud? oops. sorry will fans.

i just saw The Illusionist and it put me in the flipping BEST mood. go see it, people!!!! you'll love it.


From the deleted scene on the island in 1.


Jack is cleaning/ preparing his gun.
Translation: do i really have to translate this for you?

Liz: If you're going to shoot me, please do so without delay.
Translation: Do we HAVE to wait till it gets dark???

Jack: Is there a problem with us, Ms. Swann?
Translation: Why are you still wearing clothes? Do you realize how hard I had to work to get us marooned here together?

Liz: You were going to trade Will in for a ship.
Translation: Why do you constantly pick on the nerds?

Jack: We could use a ship. The fact is I was going to NOT trade bloody Will in for the ship, because as long as Barbossa didn't know about him, I had something to bargain with. Which now, no one has, thanks to bloody stupid Will.
Translation: We're wasting time.

Liz: Oh.
Translation: I didn't catch any of that, I was fantasizing about that mouth...



Someone PLEASE do the scene where Jack shows Liz the scars, after she walks around the island...

"Jack: Is there a problem with us, Ms. Swann?
Translation: Why are you still wearing clothes? Do you realize how hard I had to work to get us marooned here together?"---------Kate

That was great!

Originally posted by willofthewisp
hmm, short but simple.

Jack: Before we go on, just how far are you willing to go for this girl?
Translation: I just want to know if you're gay or not.

Will: I'd die for her.
Translation: I'll play the hero for her and look great at the same time.

Jack: Good. No worries then.
Translation: Not gay, but you'll learn.


LMFFAO!!!

Im sat here in an empty house p***ing myself laughing here!


"Not gay, but you'll learn" - - - LOVE IT!!!!

this thread might be the funniest one we've made. its soooooo brilliant. you guys are genius, pure and simple. drinks all around.

Liz: We should return to the dauntless.
Translation: Before I run over and make hott passionate love to the pirate delving through the treasure.

Jack: (delving through treasure)
Translation: I wish i was delving into a different sort of treasure right now...

Jack: Your fiance will be wanting to know you are safe.
Translation: I really need a bath before we think about getting closer.

Liz: (nods, turns away)
Translation: I hope Jack takes the hint and follows me before Will stops moping...

Jack: If you were waiting for the oppurtune moment, that was it.
Translation: You poor screw-up. I was giving you a chance to woo her and everything. Do you really think i was interested in this tacky gold jewelry?

hahaha this thread is GREAT! I really liked the deleted scene on the island! hahaha

Here's one I'll try....opening scene from DMC (the wedding interrupted or FATE intervenes)


ELIZABETH SWANN
Why is this happening?
Translation: Oh goody, now I don't have to marry Bloody stupid Will, and I can get out of here and go in search of that Sexy Pirate.

WILL TURNER
I don't know. You look beautiful.
Translation: I wish Jack were here, he could give me a few pointers on how to woo Elizabeth....he's very savvy when it comes to women.

ELIZABETH SWANN
I think it's bad luck for the groom
to see the bride before the wedding.
Translation: I'm so glad fate has intervened...now I can find that Sexy Pirate and I can get out of this silly dress, in front of him, and toss it into the ocean and watch it sink.....

Okay, I'll try the scar scene from the first movie.

Liz: So is there truth to any of the stories then?
Translation: Or am I just stuck here with a gay cracker?

Jack: Truth?
Translation: Psh, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. You can't handle me.

(shows her his sparrow tattoo)
Translation: Notice the muscle on the forearms there, love

(shows her his pirate brand)
Translation: I bet gay crackers don't wind up with THESE

(shows her the scars on his chest)
Translation: But all are still working parts, I assure you

(Liz reacts to them)
Translation: I've got some working parts, too

Jack: No truth at all
Translation: Now that I meet your criteria, what say we do it in the ocean, huh?

YAYAYAYAY!!!!! that was so great.

Lovethemtigers, i also loved the line about lizzie wanting to throw the wedding dress into the ocean and watch it sink. LOL.

From the first scene in 2:

Beckett: Governor Weatherby Swann, it's been too long.
Translation: You look terrible. You don't age well at ALL.

Swann: Cutler Beckett?
Translation: That eunuch with the bad wig? When did he turn into Napoleon?

Beckett: It's Lord now, actually.
Translation: I slept my way to the top, and I'm proud of it.

Swann: You have no authority arresting this man!
Translation: Just because you get a crush on a cute guy doesn't mean you can just arrest him and lock him up for your pleasure.

Beckett: Oh in fact I do. Mister Mercer, the warrent for the arrest of Mr William Turner.
Translation: See this guy Mercer? He used to run the Italian mafia. Any more questions?

Swann: This warrent is for the arrest of Elizabeth Swann.
Translation: Is this supposed to mean you're straight?

Beckett: Oh that's annoying. My mistake. Arrest her.
Translation: Not quite straight, but she is absolutely falling out of that dress in the front. And she needs some hair tips.

Liz: On what charges??!
Translation: I am NOT watching queer eye with you.

WIll: No!
Translation: And I thought Jack was short... I could step on this man, if I weren't wearing this table-cloth jacket.

Beckett: Ah-ha! Here's the one for William Turner. And I have another for a Mr. James Norrington. Is he present?
Translation: I am having the hardest time keeping a straight face while he wears that table-cloth jacket. When did turqouise come back? And I could have sworn I smelled Norrington's overpowering cologne...

Liz: What are the charges?!
Translation: Is this about that anti-gay protest I attended?

Swann: Commodore Norrington resigned his commission some months ago.
Translation: I had to fire him for drinking on the job.

Beckett: I don't believe that was the answer to the question I asked...
Translation: Oh my gosh, I think Liz was the girl at that anti-gay protest. That's it, she's going down.

Will: Lord Beckett, in the category of questions not answered...
Translation: Oh my gosh, I think he was the guy at that gay bar last week.

Liz: We are under the jurisdiction of the Governor of Port Royal and You will tell us what we are charged with.
Translation: Daddy, save me from the ugly short man!

Gov. Swann reads the charge (which i dont remember lol)

Beckett: For which the punishment, regrettably, is also death.
Translation: Am I making it too obvious that I'm a sadist?

Beckett: perhaps you remember a certain pirate called Jack Sparrow.
Translation: Cause I dream of him every night...

Will and Liz: Captain!
Translation: Captain Sexy Sparrow!

Liz: Captain Jack Sparrow!
Translation: Captain Sexy beast come to me Sparrow!

Beckett: Yes I thought you might...
Translation: Oh they've definately had a threesome.

Jack: Gentlemen, what do keys do?
Translation: When a man and woman love each other very much...

Pirate: Keys unlock things?
Translation: Uh, does this have to do with the stork?

Gibbs: And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuble. So we're setting out to find what this key unlocks!
Translation: Why do I get the feeling Jack is after a girl? Why doesnt the crew ever get girls? I actually clean up nicely.

Jack: NO. If we don't have the key, we cant open whatever it is we dont have that it unlocks. So why would we find whatever it is it unlocks, which we dont have, without first finding the key what unlocks it?
Translation: It usually goes like this. Locate girl. Tie her up. Dance around her with fruit on my head. Break out the castinets. Girl falls hard. We have a bit of fun. Girl gets left at Tortuga.

Gibbs: So we're going after this key?
Translation: Is it wrong that I sometimes get turned on when he is confusing?

Jack: You're not making any sense at all. Any more questions?
Translation: It's hard being the sexiest pirate in the Caribbean. I hate breaking the hearts of those around me...

Short pirate: So, do we have a heading?
Translation: I wish my hair looked like Jacks. Oh wait...

Jack: Ah! Set sail in a general... uh... that way direction...
Translation: Take me to Elizabeth ASAP. Oh bugger- i mean, take me far away from her...

hee hee, Kate you are dirty.

(sword fight in first movie)

Jack: Who makes all these?
Translation: ha ha, distract him and gut him and hang him on my wall

Will: I do, and I practice with them 3 hours a day!
Translation: It's G-rated masterbation!

Jack: You need to get yourself a girl, mate
Translation: Don't think I don't know what you're compensating for

Jack: Or maybe you already do
Translation: As long as it's not the hot chick I saved.

(later in jail)

Will: They've taken Ms. Swann!
Translation: And I'm hungry! and thirsty! Change me!

Jack (thinking): damn, it is the hot chick from before.

HAHAHAHA that was FABULOUS. Yay!

Originally posted by willofthewisp
hee hee, Kate you are dirty.

(sword fight in first movie)

Jack: Who makes all these?
Translation: ha ha, distract him and gut him and hang him on my wall

Will: I do, and I practice with them 3 hours a day!
Translation: It's G-rated masterbation!

Jack: You need to get yourself a girl, mate
Translation: Don't think I don't know what you're compensating for

Jack: Or maybe you already do
Translation: As long as it's not the hot chick I saved.

(later in jail)

Will: They've taken Ms. Swann!
Translation: And I'm hungry! and thirsty! Change me!

Jack (thinking): damn, it is the hot chick from before.


Lmao...G-rated masturbation....


What scenes are left??

the one, after jack saved her from drowning, or?

Will: Why is Jack afraid of the open ocean?
Translation: What is Jack's weakness? I'll need to know that eventually.

Gibbs: Well, if you believe such things, there's a beast that does the bidding of Davy Jones. A fearsome creature with giant tentacles that will suction your face clean off, and drag an entire ship down to the crushing darkness. The kraken!
Translation: Well, if you believe such things, there's a creature that completely confounds and confuses Jack... a fearsome creature with secret weapons, scary body parts, that can keep a man captive for the rest of his life. A woman!


(Gibbs says something else about the Kraken)

Will: And the key will spare him that?
Translation: Jack is afraid of marriage? Hahaha... that's pathetic.

Gibbs: Well that's the very question Jack wants answered. Bad enough to visit HER.
Translation: He's seeing a counselor about it. He's trying to work through those commitment issues.

Will: Her?
Translation: Woah, where did my British accent just go?

Gibbs: Aye her.
Translation: That was quite a hard "R" for a british chap.

Jack: No worries mate. Tia Dalma and I go way back. Thick as thieves. Nigh inseperable we are... were... have been... before...
Translation: Okay guys, I'm going to be honest with you. This woman might kill us all. I left her in the middle of a naked twister game- and took all her favorite jewelry.

Gibbs: I'll watch your back.
Translation: I'm scared. You go first.

Jack: It's me front I'm worried about. Mind the boat.
Translation: my back? a true friend stabs you in the front. Just make sure the getaway car is ready for a quick exit.

Scene 4: (The daring rescue and escape)

Jack : ?and then they made me their chief.
Translation: Oh no wait! ... thats the second movie, sorry lads...

Norrington: Elizabeth ? Elizabeth ! My God.
Translation: Oooh what a dilemma! To get the wig wet; or not to get the wig wet...what a kufuffel!

Gillette : The rocks! Sir, it?s a miracle she missed them.
Translation: Shes a lucky son of a b***h!

Jack : Will you be saving her then?
Translation: Because i can't be assed

Mullroy: I can't swim.
Translation: I left my water wings at home....

Jack : Pride of the King?s Navy you are. Do not lose these.
Translation: I had better get something rewarding out of this!

Murtogg: What was that?
Translation: ...I give me the wiggins....

Mullroy: Ooh, I got her. She's not breathing!
Translation: I've ALWAYS wanted to do mouth-to-mouth when they taught us first aid!!

Jack : Move!
Translation:I never thought she would be that easy...

Mullroy: Never would've thought of that.
Translation: Whoa..he just gets right down to it, doesnt he? ..Maybe i should try it....I might actually get laid...

Jack : Clearly you've never been to Singapore .
Translation: .... Yeah...lets not go there....

Jack: Where did you get that?
Translation: You might think im looking at the medallion...but at the moment im more intregued by your mosquito bites....(no offence meant!)

Norrington: On your feet.
Translation: One day those mosquito bites will be Juicy, juicy mango's! You just watch!

Governor Swann : Elizabeth . Are you alright?
Translation: Pay no attention to those dirty minded Perverts...but i did try to help with the courset!

Elizabeth : Yes, I'm fine.
Translation: And they're more like speed bumps that mango's, thankyou very much!

Governor Swann : Shoot him!
Translation: undressing my daughter infront of her soon-to-be fiancee! ... can you not see how turned on he is?!

Elizabeth : Father! Commodore, do you really intend to kill my rescuer?
Translation: ...but he looks so good when he's wet...

Norrington: I believe thanks are in order.
Translation: Yeah...thanks...for rescuing my son-to-be-fiancee and making me look like a tosser for getting there first!

Norrington:
Translation: Right...let me think....A is for Anarchist...B is for Bigamist...C if for Cu-
AH! got it!

Norrington: Had a brush with the East India Trading company, did we, pirate?
Translation: ...I hope to god ive got it right...

Governor Swann : Hang him.
Translation: Or whatever...I don't care alsong as the smell is taken from my presence...

Norrington: Keep your guns on him, men. Gillette , fetch some irons.
Translation: Oooh...Bondage...


Norrington:
Translation: Is it a bird?...Is it a plane??...No its-

Norrington: Jack Sparrow , isn?t it?
Translation: I'm gonna look so stupid if this is wrong...

Jack : Captain Jack Sparrow , if you please, sir.
Translation:God your wig is ridiculous...

Norrington: Well, I don't see your ship? Captain.
Translation: And even if i did i wouldnt tell you! Ner-ner!

Jack : I'm in the market as it were.
Translation: Im also in the market for a lovely half-naked woman ...its better when they're half naked....it takes half the time to get them undressed....

Murtogg: He said he'd come to commandeer one.
Translation: He can commandeer me any time...

Mullroy: Told ya he was telling the truth. These are his, sir.
Translation: Thats it...im out of a job now until the end of the movie...

Norrington: No additional shots nor powder.
Translation: ..Hes shooting blanks...

Norrington:A compass that doesn't point north.
Translation: I'm just thankful it isnt pointing at me...

Norrington: And I half expected it to be made of wood.
Translation: Yes...thats what i need...a nice bit of wood...

Norrington:You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Translation:...but you are rather dashing...

Jack : But you have heard of me.
Translation: Oooh! Star status!!!!

Elizabeth : Commodore, I really must protest.
Translation: My clothes are becomming more see-through and my nipples may start showing!

Norrington: Carefully, Lieutenant.
Translation: dont look at her nipples!...it'll be the death of any man!

Elizabeth : Pirate or not this man saved my life.
Translation: Pirate...bad ass, sexy, tanned and exciting pirate...oooh, i have to stop thinking like that or my nipples WILL start showing!

Norrington: One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.
Translation: Well...it is, but after the way YOU just pointed your nipples in his general direction, im going to have to kill him!

Jack : Though it seems enough to condemn him.
Translation: Nipples?

Norrington: Indeed.
Translation: Yes...nipples!

Jack : Finally.
Translation: A chance to see those nipples thathave been talked about so much!

Governor Swann : No, don't shoot!
Translation: And STOP talking about nipples!

Jack : I knew you'd warm up to me.
Translation: ...Like puttie in my hands....

Jack:Commodore Norrington, my effects, please, and my hat. Commodore! Elizabeth . It is Elizabeth isn?t it?
Translation: just making sure... Its not the first time i've said the wrong name when in a passionate moment....

Elizabeth : It's Miss Swann .
Translation: Or minx, kitten, love bug...whatever! Just take me!

Jack : Miss Swann , if you'd be so kind. Come, come, dear. We don?t have all day.
Translation: Well..usually we would but this time we'll have to skip the foreplay, im afraid...

Jack: Now if you'd be very kind. Easy on the goods, darling.
Translation: And no...that is NOT my 'wooden' sword poking you...

Elizabeth : You're despicable.
Translation: Just take me!

Jack : Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you save mine, we're square.
Translation: Your place or mine?

Jack:Gentlemen, m'lady, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!
Translation: ...You'll have other days, but this isnt a good one for me...things to see, people to do...

omg ....it's great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love it!!!!!!!!!!

T. Maria.

I dont know what to say.

I am HONESTLY getting laugh wrinkles on my face.

I am speechless.

it was like, beyond funny. beyond hilarious. sort of Iconic humor. the kind of thing that will have me laughing the rest of my life. I will now no longer be able to hear the word nipples. you are flipping genius. slightly scandalous, but terribly funny.

i LOVED the minx, kitten, love-bug line.

i LOVED all of it. i seriously dont even know what to say.

why dont you just continue????

Originally posted by katelovespirate
T. Maria.

I dont know what to say.

I am HONESTLY getting laugh wrinkles on my face.

I am speechless.

it was like, beyond funny. beyond hilarious. sort of Iconic humor. the kind of thing that will have me laughing the rest of my life. I will now no longer be able to hear the word nipples. you are flipping genius. slightly scandalous, but terribly funny.

i LOVED the minx, kitten, love-bug line.

i LOVED all of it. i seriously dont even know what to say.

why dont you just continue????


Awww shucks !!

everyone is doing a brilliant job with this!

Kate, yours are HILARIOUS!

"Jack: No worries mate. Tia Dalma and I go way back. Thick as thieves. Nigh inseperable we are... were... have been... before...
Translation: Okay guys, I'm going to be honest with you. This woman might kill us all. I left her in the middle of a naked twister game- and took all her favorite jewelry.

Gibbs: I'll watch your back.
Translation: I'm scared. You go first.

Jack: It's me front I'm worried about. Mind the boat.
Translation: my back? a true friend stabs you in the front. Just make sure the getaway car is ready for a quick exit."


^^^^ i was literally P***ING myself with laughter there!! you have the kind of comedy that makes me do one of them irritating laughs that people want to hit me for lol

We need to send this to Terry and ted!!!


Whats next??

Tia: Jack Sparrow!
Translation: Not this guy again. He robs me blind.

Jack: Tia Dalma!
Translation: Act charming, that's it......EYEBALL JAR! Stay calm.

Tia: I always knew the wind would blow you back to my door (something like that)
Translation: And you brought the crew....orgy!

Tia: (to Will) You. You have a touch of destiny, William Turner
Translation: ha ha, everyone analyzes this line, but it's only because I screwed your dad and you're the spitting image of him. Deducing...

Will: You know me?
Translation: Oh man, those teeth.

Tia: You want to know me?
Translation: Your dad certainly did.

Jack: There'll be no knowing anyone. We came for help and we're not leaving without it. I thought I knew you.
Translation: We don't have time for this....did she just say she prefers the welp over me?

hahahahahahaha willofthewisp you are soo good at these!

Beckett: Yes I thought you might...
Translation: Oh they've definately had a threesome.


^HILARIOUS! I love this thread, it's great!

T Maria, that's just too, too good!!! You ROCK!!! That nipples part just about killed me, hahahaha.

This is such a great thread. I laugh my ass off every time. Let's see.....


(Jack runs into his old crew during the first movie right after Will and Liz have made off)

Pintel: Well look who it is
Translation: We're all screwed now

(point their weapons at him)

Jack: Par.....snip, par-sley, par, rum (nonsense talk)
Translation: Maybe this is the cleverness, maybe this is a concussion from the oar. I hate Will

Ragetti: Parley?
Translation: I just want someone to listen to me.

Jack: That's it!
Translation: Cleverness wins out over concussion every time.

Ragetti: Parley? I hate whoever came up with parley
Translation: No, I'm really meaning what I say right now.

Jack: That would be the French
Translation: Man, nothing like a fat French girl waitress, blowing raspberries on her fat rolls.......wait! Stop thinking.

(in a few seconds)

Jack: The girl's blood didn't work, did it?
Translation: But I bet some of her works. Ka-ching!

Barbosa: You know whose blood we need?
Translation: Because I'm o-positive and it just didn't work out when I tried it.

Jack: Aye, I know whose blood you need.
Translation: Psh, am I seriously the smartest person in these movies? Put me in a movie with MENSA next time.

I love this thread...it makes me smile...laugh...Awesome....I'll never be able to look at the Pirate movies in the same light...hysterical...can we re-do scenes already done????

HAHAHAHAHAHAH mensa, that was HILARIOUS. thats so funny.

This isn't very good...i'm not as funny as you guys...but I gave it a try...


WILL TURNER
Jack? Jack Sparrow! I can honestly say
I'm glad to see you!
Translation: I know I haven't seen Jack in a while..but his looks sure have changed....looks hot dressed like that...glad Miss Swann is not here to see this...why is this man so irresistable....it's not fair....I want to be more like him. I'm so happy to see this Pirate I could kiss him..did I just think that....

Translation: (Jack thinking) Oh no..not Bloody Stupid Will what is he doing here...where's the hot chick I left him with....




WILL TURNER
Jack! It's me! Will Turner!
Translation: Come on, Jack...you have to remember me...the boy from Port Royal...Bootstrap Bill's son, the eunich....Please, Jack

JACK SPARROW
?: Wa-say kohn.
Translation: How in the world did he find me....what did i just say, I have no idea..he looks bloody ridiculous hanging upside down, such as he is....

?
Een dah-lah. Eeseepi.
Translation: When I see your chick...I'm going to seduce her from right under your stupid bloody nose....THIs is fun

CANNIBAL CROWD
Eeseepi.

WILL TURNER
Tell 'em to let me down.
Translation: Come on, Jack. You can make fun of me all you want...please help me....my head hurts, my hands and feet hurt, gosh, I'm such a whimp

JACK SPARROW
Kay-lay lam. Lam piki-piki. Lam eensy
weensy. Lam say-say... eunuchy. Snip-snip.
Translation: I don't know what I'm saying, but the cannibals understand, this is fun...I can say whatever I want....Will is a eunich, Will is a Eunich...nananabooboo...it's so much fun to make fun of that stupid bloody boy...it will be so easy to seduce his chick...


CANNIBAL CROWD
Ahhh... eunuchy!
Translation: bring this one to the cages, no thing-a-my-bob - no good...



WILL TURNER
Jack! The Compass! That's all I need,
Elizabeth is in danger. We were arrested
for trying to help *you*. She faces
the gallows!


Translation: come on Jack give me that stupid compass that doesn't even work...some ugly little man with a wig wants it and I need it to get Elizabeth back...i'm not very good at rescueing her on my own...I always need your help, darnit.

JACK SPARROW
Say-say lam shoop-shoop sha smalay-lama
shoo-koo. Savvy? Ball licky-licky.
Translation: Ah-ah....if I get out of this mess...I will run off to Port Royal and break the chick out of jail since this stupid bloody boy can't seem to handle that wild adventurous creature...she needs a real man, like me...did I just say ball licky-licky...yep, that's what I'm hoping What's Her Name will do for me when I see her again


Ball licky-licky!

CANNIBAL CROWD
Ball licky-licky!
Translation: all this talk of ball licky-licky is making us want an orgy....can we all jump on our new chief...he sure looks scrumptous....delicious...the Gods were really watching over us when they sent us this hunk of meat to feast on.....



CANNIBAL CROWD
?Boom-shoo-boom, ?boom-shoo-boom, ?boom-shoo-boom...


JACK SPARROW
Save me!
Translation: Okay, i'll admit, I'm in a pickle....get real, jack, do you really think the stupid bloody eunich is going to save you...he can't save himself or What's Her Name...they always need ME...because I'm the greatest Pirate of all time....sometimes I'm not so sure it's wise to be the Greatest Person ever...look at what being so good-looking has gotten me into now...these cannibals want to eat me...

WILL TURNER
Jack, what did you tell them? No! What
about Elizabeth? *Jack...!*
Translation: Jack...I know you want my woman...I'll use you to help me rescue her....Jack.....help...once I get out of this I'm going to kill that Pirate, as I should have done when I had the chance.

HAHAHAHAHA the line about the pirate crowd wanting an orgy was hilarious..... LOL.... Great stuff!

lol hilarious!

that orgy line sure was scrumptious

Jack: No worries mate. Tia Dalma and I go way back. Thick as thieves. Nigh inseperable we are... were... have been... before...
Translation: Okay guys, I'm going to be honest with you. This woman might kill us all. I left her in the middle of a naked twister game- and took all her favorite jewelry.
^genius!!!!

So was the thing about MENSA!
This thread is absolutely amazing!

Liz: Not more pirates...
Translation: Pirates, lots of them! All my fantasies keep coming to life...

Gibbs: Welcome aboard Ms. Elizabeth.
Translation: How can she look so good wet and dirty? Oh yeah, this is a movie...

Liz: Mr. Gibbs?
Translation: Mr. Badger?

Gibbs: Hey boy, where be Jack?
Translation: Where a pretty lady is, Jack must be close behind...

Liz: Jack? Jack Sparrow?
Translation: Oh, when I get my hands on that man... well, it won't be pretty. and the clothes won't stay on long.

Will: He fell behind.
Translation: Dont look at me like that. I'm not bringing him onto this ship with Elizabeth-- do you really think i was going to try to compete with him?!

Gibbs: Keep to the code!
Translation: Dont go ANYWHERE. We are NOT leaving without Jack.

Elizabeth (walking away with Will)
Translation: Damn right we aren't.

From the ship battle in one:

Jack: That's not very nice.
Translation: Touch her and I'll kill you. What would possess you to attack someone so Hott?!

Liz: (whacks other pirate)
Translation: How obvious do I have to make this physical tension?

Jack: Where is the medallion?
Translation: Don't panic, I'm going to have to reach into your dress.

Liz: Wretch!
Translation: Why dont you just look for it in my dress?

Jack: (grabs her hand)
Translation: Pshaw woman, I'm a good man, remember?

Jack: Ah, where is dear William?
Translation: Where's your annoying bodyguard?

Liz: Will...
Translation: Oh yeah, him. Dont know, dont care.

See...Elizabeth has called Jack dispicable and a wretch...I do think the lady protest too much...that's what makes romance novels so exciting...how the two lead characters continually fight their feelings for each other, even so far as to pretend they hate each other...and then when the tensions build up they explode into hot romance...can't wait.

Okay, I will see if I can find another scene to translate...off to read the scripts.

YAYAYAY!!!! I cant wait....

its so true. tension=much hotter relationship when it happens...

oohhh yeah!!!

Hmm, we need more scenes to work with!

Will: My father was not a pirate!
Translation: You're just jealous because there is no union for pirates, whereas the blacksmith one....

Jack: Put it away, son
Translation: He thinks he's scary

(does that thing with the mast and knocks him down)

Jack: Now, there are only two things that matter, what a man can do and what a man can't do.
Translation: Like I can get your girlfriend all hot under the collar and you can't.

Jack: I can just let you drown, but I can't sail this ship to Tortuga all by me onesy, savvy?
Translation (singing): All by myself....

Jack: Either you can accept your father was a pirate and a good man, or you can't.
Translation: It's like choosing tom-ay-to, or tom-ah-to. Pick.

lol tom-ay-to or tom-ah-to!

or pot-ay-to, pot-ah-to. I just thought Jack would prefer tomatoes.

lol y?

I don't usually like tomatoes

i dont like them either. potatoes are WAY better

agreed

nice. and i swear if u say "whats nice" i am going to lose it and knock u into next tuesday!

why tuesday

cuz tuesdays suk

what about mondays

they suk too, but Tuesday is.......................just shut up,alright!

you used dots.......

i am about TO LOOSE IT!!!!! too late!!! gah! *lunges at Bwa ha ha

*dodges and tries to lunge back but is tripped by Jaken(my siggy) and begins to torcher the little fool*

Wow! It's a little long, but this will be fun.

GIBBS: Let's put some distance between us and this island, and head out to open sea.
TRANSLATION: Because nothing can get you out in open sea.

JACK: Yes to the first, yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible.
TRANSLATION: Some rum sounds really good.....hint hint.
GIBBS: Uh, that seems a bit contradictory, Captain.
TRANSLATION: That was my big word for the day and I wasted it.

JACK: I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Master Gibbs, now where is that monkey? I want to shoot something.
TRANSLATION: And I can't very well shoot Will.

WILL: Jack
TRANSLATION: I just like saying it.

JACK: Ah.
TRANSLATION: Don't tempt me to shoot you. I'm cold and thirsty and mad.

WILL: Elizabeth is in danger.
TRANSLATION: I caught her thinking for herself yesterday!

JACK: Have you considered keeping a more watchful eye on 'er? Maybe just lock her up somewhere.
TRANSLATION: Cuz if she were mine, not saying I haven't fantasized about it....

WILL: She *is* locked up, in a prison, bound to hang for helping *you*!
TRANSLATION: Dun dun DUN!

JACK: There comes a time when one must take responsibility for one's mistakes.
TRANSLATION: And part of taking responsibility means spanking, so if I were you, and man, I wish I was, I would go home now and spank her.

WILL: I need that Compass of yours, Jack. I must trade it for her freedom.
TRANSLATION: So she can be locked up by me instead.

JACK: Mr. Gibbs! We need to travel up river.
TRANSLATION: I promised you Playboys and rum.

GIBBS: By need, d'you mean a... trifling need, ?uh/?a... fleeting, as in say in a passing fancy?
TRANSLATION: Are we talking about fancy call girls here, or just hookers?

JACK: No, a... resolute and unyielding need.
TRANSLATION: It's time for some lucky hooker to let me pretend she's Elizabeth Swann for a few hours.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my goodness it just keeps getting better.

"I cant very well shoot Will..."

and the spanking bit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my mouth hurts from laughing.....

ouch!

JACK: No, a... resolute and unyielding need.
TRANSLATION: It's time for some lucky hooker to let me pretend she's Elizabeth Swann for a few hours.

hahahaha great!

lol

Barbossa: And ye'll not lay a hand on those under the protection of parley...
Translation: What is my number one rule? Captain gets first pick of wenches.

Bosun: Aye, sir.
Translation: Watch me flex my pecs!

Barbossa: My apologies, Miss.
Translation: Kidnapped in your nightgown? That's slightly cliche.

Liz: Captain Barbossa, I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilies against Port Royal.
Translation: All that training at the UN came in handy after all.

Barbossa: There were a lot of long words in that miss, and we're not but humble pirates. What is it you want?
Translation: If you're going to show off your language skills, you may as well show off your persuasion skills too.

Liz: I want you to leave and never come back.
Translation: I want you to take me away from this life if drudgery.

Barbossa: I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means no.
Translation: If Jack gets to be a in a movie with MENSA, so do I.

Liz: Very well. I'll drop it.
Translation: I'm actually the one who will eventually host the Boston Tea Party.

Barbossa: My holds are bursting with swag. That bit of shine matters to us why?
Translation: We've all had our share of lovely ladies. Do you have some special talent we should know about?

Liz: Its what you've been searching for. I recognize this ship, I saw it eight years ago on the crossing from England.
Translation: As you will soon find out, everyone in this series goes through a phase where they fall in love with me.

Barbossa: Did ye now?
Translation: Even your dad? That would be slightly off color for a Disney movie.

Liz: Fine. Well I suppose if it is worthless then there's no point to me keeping it.
Translation: Ha ha, very funny. Gee, it's actually kind of tacky now that I look at it. Just keep in mind that if i drop this, you'll all have to go skinny dipping.

Barbossa: No!
Translation: Do you know how bad the nightmares would be after skinny dipping with this crew?!

Liz: (smiles cooly)
Translation: I have a camera in my pocket. Those pictures would hit the internet in seconds.

Barbossa: You have a name, missy?
Translation: Cause we'll need to know what to put on your tombstone.

Liz: Elizabeth... Turner. I'm a maid in the governors household.
Translation: Does this mean I get to act dumb and irritating for the rest of the film?

Barbossa: Ms. Turner!
Translation: Is it kinky that I had an affair with your father AND I'm attracted to you?

Barbossa: And how does a maid come to own a trinket such as this... family heirloom perhaps?
Translation: Somehow I didn't think the daughter of Bootstrap would be able to afford platinum highlights.

Liz: I didn't steal it if thats what you mean.
Translation: I totally stole it, if that's what you mean. Or I could just say it was a lucky hand of poker.

Barbossa: Very well. Ye hand it over and we'll put your town to our rudder and ne'r return.
Translation: pass the bling or your old man'll look like swiss cheese.

Liz: (hands over the necklace)
Translation: To be honest, its the ugliest f-ing necklace I've ever seen. I'm going Channel shopping tomorrow.

hahaha too funny,....i love this thread!

me too. its hilarious. whenever i need a laugh i just stop by. LOL. everyone is so talented and funny.

i know! i love all the people here! its so great reading all their stories and thoeries and stuff! we are all like one big happy POTC family! lol

haha nice work willofwisp and kate.

Master Gibbs, now where is that monkey? I want to shoot something.
TRANSLATION: And I can't very well shoot Will.


Barbossa: No!
Translation: Do you know how bad the nightmares would be after skinny dipping with this crew?!

Liz: (hands over the necklace)
Translation: To be honest, its the ugliest f-ing necklace I've ever seen. I'm going Channel shopping tomorrow.

__________________

Hilarious! This thread is the greatest fun ever.

lol funny~

I don't know: have we done the scene after jack returns in the cave, after norri brings him there, when barbossa says: that's not possible and jack replies: not probable??

I don't think we have! That'd be a good one. Oh and when Jack goes on about 'It's the honest one's you have to look out for, because you'll never know when they'll do something incredibly... stupid." I don't think anyone's done that entire Cave Scene... Or Commodore's Promotion Ceremony from the beginning.

i wanna try, but im afraid ill do a sucky job

Barbossa: So you intend to leave me standing on a beach somewhere watching you sail away on my ship with naught but a name and your word its the one i need?
Translation: This is only going to work if you leave me the whelp to torture and a hot chick to be distracted by.

Jack: No, I plan to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name, watching me sail away on MY ship, and then I'll shout the name back to you.
Translation: You can have the whelp, and I'll provide you with weapons of mass destruction to use against him. But Lizzie's all mine.

Barbossa: But that still leaves us with the problem of me standing on some beach with naught but a name and your word its the one I need.
Translation: Jack, I'm going to be honest with you. You are way hotter than me and deserve the girl. But this beach had better be in Miami, close to a pub.

Jack: Between the two of us, I am the only one who hasn't committed mutiny, so its my word we'll be trusting. Although, if you hadn't marooned me and left me to die, I would have an equal share in that curse same as you. Funny how that works, eh?
Translation: You're right mate, I'm way hotter. But if it weren't for all this, I never would have gotten to see Elizabeth in less than a corset. And seeing as I'm going to kill you eventually anyway, it really doesn't matter what sort of bargain we make.

Bosun: Captain! We're coming up on the Interceptor!
Translation: I can see Will's whitey-tighties from here.

Jack: I'm having a thought here Barbossa. What say we run up a flag of truce, I scurry over to the Interceptor and negotiate the return of your medallion?
Translation: I happen to know the Interceptor is well stocked with Rum and ladies. What say we string Will up by his earlobes and make fun of him?

Barbossa: Jack, you know thats the attitude that lost you the Pearl to begin with. People are much easier to search when they're dead.
Translation: Why bother making fun of him when we could just kill him? At least that way we could spare the poor fans who are going to go crazy wondering who the wench will choose in the end.

Barbossa: Lock him in the brig.
Translation: And put him in a toga. I'm feeling like a greek party.

a greek party lol

lol nice

wouldnt Jack look HOTT in a toga!? lol

chyeah! Jack would look hot in anything!

...

Black Pearl and Flying Dutchman confrontation


Translation: I could have swore I had more action scenes besides lying on my back through the entire movie...


Will Turner: What happened to the chest?
Translation: Chest...bosoms...god its been so long since ive even seen a woman!

Elizabeth Swann: Norrington took it to draw them off.
Translation: Well don't think that you will be seeing mine...even though most of the crew already have...

Pintel: You're pulling too hard!
Translation: (Oh god, the things i could write about this!!....fine, ill keep it to a PG-13 lol) ...Your supposed to Bop It, and then Twist it! not the other way round!

Ragetti: You're not pulling hard enough!
Translation: (OMG they're killing me here...seriously!!) ... Fine, i give up! I hate playing games with you...i'm still not over the scrabble tournement you cheated on....

Gibbs: Where's the Commodore?
Translation: Tell me he's been blown away by a relatively strong breeze...

Jack Sparrow: He fell behind.
Translation: Not so much strong breeze....more like swarm of fish-like mutants...

Gibbs: My prayers be with him. Best not wallow in our grief. The bright side is: You're back. And made it off free and clear.
Translation: Bloody hell jack, not even nuclear fallout can remove you from this ship!


Translation: ooooh! I've seen fast and the furious....engines at the ready!!!!!


Gibbs: Lord almighty. Deliver us.
Translation: To anywhere, i dont care...just aslong as it isn't a hole in the ground.

Jack Sparrow: I'll handle this, mate.
Translation: Theres nothing wrong with a hole in the ground...ive been in a few of them myself...they're quite comfortable, actually...


Translation: I've got dirt and i'm not afraid to use it!!!


Jack Sparrow: Hey! Fishface! Lose something? Hey? ### Oup!
Translation: Your ugly and you smell like rotting fish! oh...and i B**ed your ex girlfriend! Hows that for revenge! And now i'm going to trip over thin air and fall with style BUZZ LIGHTYEAR stlye down the steps! Watch me now, here I go !!!


Translation: God i'm good!


Crew: Ooh!
Translation: Nah...Buzz did it gracefully...Jacks was as bad as the 2006 superman movie...

Jack Sparrow: Got it!
Translation: David Blane has nothing on me...Magic eye my ass!


Translation: 'I'm too sexy for my shirt...too sexy for my shirt...so sexy it hurts! ...I'm on the catwalk, you know what I mean, and i shake my little tush on the catwalk...'


Jack Sparrow: Come to negotiate, eh, have you, you slimy git? Look what I got. I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it?
Translation: 'Der der der der...der der...der der, YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS! (Mc Hammer style!!)

Davy Jones: Enough!
Translation: The cheesy pop songs are making my tenticles shake their booty....I'm supposed to be a miserable git and your ruining my moment!!


Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! ...tag, your it!

Jack Sparrow: Hard to starboard.
Translation: I prefer off-ground tick, but fine we'll play it your way...

Elizabeth Swann: *Hard to starboard!*
Translation: What about Queenie-i-o??

Will Turner: Brace up the foreyard!
Translation: Whose got the ball-i-o?

Gibbs: Hard to starboard!
Translation: I aint got it!

Davy Jones: Send his beloved Pearl back to the depths!
Translation: and It aint in my pocket!

Maccus: Fire all!
Translation: And It certainly aint between my legs...take a look!


Translation: Your turn!!!!! ...unless i can get barley before you can fire at us, in which case, we get another go!!!



Translation: That wasn't fair...you took our turn!!


Pintel: She's on us! She's on us!
Translation: If only it WAS a 'she' that was really 'on' us...

Davy Jones: Let them taste the triple guns.
Translation: Queenie-i-o my ass!

Ogilvey: Aye, Captain.
Translation: Awww...and i was really up for playing that game, aswell!


Translation: Tick, your it! Tick, your it! Tick, your it!!


...

Will: "Come on!"
Translation: I need more action in this movie...now...wheres my bow and arrow?

Elizabeth Swann: She's falling behind!
Translation: Aww..and i was just about to ask them if they fancied a game of stuck in the mud, instead...

Gibbs: Aye, and we've got her!
Translation: I'll stick you somewhere in a minute, and it won't be in mud, young lady...mud would be more pleasant, though...

Will Turner: We're the faster?
Translation: *holds up bow and arrow* Found them!...now...wheres my blond wig...

Gibbs: Against the wind the Dutchman beats us. That's how she takes her prey. But *with* the wind...
Translation: I know too much useless information for my own good...

Will Turner: We rob her advantage.
Translation: No matter, the bow and arrow will come in handy when i need to kill Jack for currupting my fiancee...

Gibbs: Ah!
Translation: He's done more than currupt her...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i dont even know how to stop myself laughing.

youve done us all proud, t maria. that was BEYOND HILARIOUS.
OMGSH, the blonde wig??? most have the crew have seen Lizzie's chest? the music?!?!! LOLOLOL

genius. PLEASE do another!!!!!

Originally posted by katelovespirate
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i dont even know how to stop myself laughing.

youve done us all proud, t maria. that was BEYOND HILARIOUS.
OMGSH, the blonde wig??? most have the crew have seen Lizzie's chest? the music?!?!! LOLOLOL

genius. PLEASE do another!!!!!

lmao thankyou hun! hehe

Everyone has done so well with these translations!!

I PMSL everytime i read them!!

What else is there to do?? lol

I think we're running out....they need to hurry up and get the 3rd movie out!!!!

Captain Bellamy: What's all this? If you btoh fancy the dress, you'll just have to share and wear it one after the other.
Translation: We signed the EITC's new contract for the equal treatment of gays and crossdressers, or I would be making fun of you both so bad right now...

Bursar: It's not like that sir. This ship is haunted.
Translation: I may crossdress from time to time, but only in Tortuga. Er... i mean, Ghost-busters!!!

Bellamy: Is it now? And you?
Translation: Oh my gosh, not the ghost-busters thing again. I should have known not to get sattelite for the crew's quarters.

Quartermaster: Theres a female presence aboard, all the men can feel it...
Translation: we all got horny at the same time. it was uncanny.

Other dude: The ghost of a lady, widowed before her marriage I figure it, searching for her husband lost at sea.
Translation: Fans, take hint from my important line! That William Turner is going to get lost at sea if i have anything to say about it.

Liz looks up.
Translation: Will has been lost at sea? Oh well... best not wallow in my grief.

Other dude: A virgin, too, likely as not. And that bodes ill by all accounts.
Translation: In the unlikely event she IS a virgin, the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow will soon be along to rememdy that fact.

Liz looks awkward.
Translation: I;m not saying a word. They can think what they want about my virginity...

Bursar: I say we throw the dress overboard and hope the spirit follows it!
Translation: Then I say we all get raging drunk, and play dress-up!

Quartermaster: No that will just anger the spirit. We should just find out what it needs and then give it back.
Translation: What the spirit probably needs is some good loving from the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow. If we get rid of the dress, it will just speed the process along.

Bellamy: Enough! You're a pair of supersticious goats and its got the best of you. Now this appears to be no more as we have a stowaway on board. A young woman by the looks of it. I want you to search the ship and find her.
Translation: You're acting like teenage girls telling ghost stories at a slumber party... ooo.. slumber party... pillowfights in their underwear... ahem, anyways, its perfectly obvious what happened. My hooker-of-the-month club order has arrived. Track her down!

Bellamy: Oh, and she's probably naked.
Translation: She'll be naked as soon as I find her, anywayss.

Crew rushes off enthusiastically to find the stowaway.
Translation: This is the best game of hide and seek we've EVER played~!!

Funny stuff. Someone should copy and paste this and create our own parody.

PRISONER
Come here, boy... Want a nice,
juicy bone?
TRANSLATION: This bone is starting to look pretty tasty....

JACK
You can keep doing that forever,
that dog's never going to move.
TRANSLATION: It only will if you have the Captain Jack touch, heh heh heh.
PRISONER
Excuse us if we ain't resigned
ourselves to the gallows just yet.
TRANSLATION: Some of us don't have our looks going for us like you.

JACK (grins)
TRANSLATION: Man, I won't move either. Good thing they can't see what my hands are doing. That girl today was hot.


EXT. FORT CHARLES - PARAPETS - NIGHT

A noose hangs from a gallows in the courtyard. Norrington
and Swann walk along the far wall.

SWANN
Has my daughter given you an
answer yet?
TRANSLATION: Or is she already pregnant?

NORRINGTON
No. She hasn't.
TRANSLATION: Good sign? Bad sign?

SWANN
Well, she had a taxing day...
Ghastly weather tonight.

TRANSLATION: As long as she and that pirate don't share a doomed kiss on the Black Pearl.

NORRINGTON
Bleak. Very bleak.
TRANSLATION: I bet they will share a kiss if I don't marry her in this one. Stiff upper lip, James.

From the distance, there is a BOOM -

SWANN
What was that?
TRANSLATION: Ew, Norrington. Say excuse me next time.

-- and then the WHISTLE of an incoming ball --

NORRINGTON
Cannon fire!
TRANSLATION: A fart joke? Gov, you really aren't funny.

He tackles Swann as the wall of the parapet EXPLODES --

INT. CELL BLOCK - NIGHT

Jack sits up. There are more BOOMS -

JACK
I know those guns!
TRANSLATION: Anyone want to see my guns? I'm good at flexing.

He peers out through the bars of the window. The other
prisoners crowd around their window as well.

JACK (CONT'D)
It's the Black Pearl.
TRANSLATION: Daddy missed you, sweetheart, but he's coming! (makes kissy sounds)

PRISONER
(frightened)
The Black Pearl? I've heard
stories ... she's been preying on
ships and settlements for near ten
years ... and never leaves any
survivors.
TRANSLATION: I don't really care. I just like scaring people.

JACK
No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?
TRANSLATION: Seriously, it kind of sucks being the smartest one in the movie.

from the scene in tia's hut (i think we;ve done parts of this one, i dont remember, so i reckoned i would do some)

Tia: Your key go to a chest. And its what s inside that chest you seek.
Translation: WHy do I always have to give the kiddies the sex talk?

Gibbs: What is in it?
Translation: We all know about sex, Tia. Sex-ed class is a requirement of crewing the Pearl.

Pintel: Gold? Jewels? Unclaimed properties of a valuble nature?
Translation: my retirement plan is not the best. I'm just trying to think ahead here.

Ragetti: Nothing bad, I hope.
Translation: Woah, I never got the sex talk. I'm intrigued...

Tia: You know of Davy Jones? A man of the sea, a great sailor, until he run aground on that which vexes all men.
Translation: You know those adorable stripped sailor outfits? They were all his idea. But then he saw ME in a stripped sailor outfit, and the rest is history.

Will: What vexes all men?
Translation: If I were a real man, I'd probably know this. Gosh why am I so stupid?!

Tia: What indeed.
Translation: Holy crap, how stupid are you!?!?! Do i have to get naked for you to get this?!?!

Gibbs: The sea?
Translation: Oh riddles! I love riddles! Makes me want to do sudoku.

Pintel: Sums.
Translation: This was a major part of my tragic childhood growing up a poor black child in Mississippi...

Ragetti: The dichotomy of good and evil?
Translation: Why do the writers constantly make me say words I dont understand?!

Jack: A woman.
Translation: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Tia: A woman! He fell in love.
Translation: I seduced him, big time. I am so good, sometimes I amaze even myself.

Gibbs: No I heard it was the sea he fell in love with.
Translation: Don't ask me how that works out, though...

Tia: Same story, different version and all are true. It was a woman, as changing, and harsh, and untamable as the sea. Him never stopped loving her. But the pain it caused him was too much to live with, but not enough to cause him to die.
Translation: I am the sea. Oh woops- thats not my line. ANyways, it was the funniest, most pathetic thing ever. I did some crazy things to him. This one time, we were drunk and I dared him to cut out his heart.

Will: What exactly did he put into the chest?
Translation: Did he do it?!?! (whips out a guitar and starts singing: dont tell my heart, my achy breaky heart)

Tia: Him heart.
Translation: Poor bastard totally took the dare.

Ragetti: Literally, or figuratively?
Translation: So, lets sum up. You're a man-eater. We should put you on MTV.

Pintel: He couldn't literally put his heart in a chest, could he?
Translation: I know I've been cursed and been undead and shot and all, but its just too much to believe that he took that dare.

Tia: It wasn't worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings and so, him carved out him heart, lock it away in a chest and hide it from de world. The key he keep with him at all times.
Translation: You underestimate how EMO this guy was. Why do I feel like we are saying "chest" a lot? Why do we all have a pre-occupation with breasts?

Will: You knew this.
Translation: Admit it, Jack. You've seen more of ELizabeth than I have.

Jack: I did not. I didn't know where the key was. But now we do. So all thats left is to climb aboard the dutchman, grab the key, go back to Port Royal and you can save your bonnie lass, hey!
Translation: No I have not! Not yet, anyways. But dont you see? We're doing the same thing we did in the first film! Awe! Its like a tradition now! You act dumb, I find answers, we go save ELizabeth, I trick you into thinking you've got the girl, and Liz and I sail off into the sunset!

Tia Dalma: Let me see your hand.
Translation: Why havent you been getting regular manicures??? I got you that membership card at the spa for a reason.

Jack: (holds out hand nervously)
Translation: Maybe I could play it off as hives.

Tia (unwraps the bandage) Why do I always end up undressing you to some degree?

Gibbs: Black Spot!!!!
Translation: I told Jack to stop going to the tanning bed, I knew he wasnt safe from skin cancer!!!

Pintel and Ragetti: Black spot!!!
Translation: Thats it, I'm buying SPF 45.

Jack: My eyesites as good as ever, so you know.
Translation: This has in no way affected my ability to be a man... if you know what I mean.

Tia: (goes into back room)
Translation: Where is my hand sanitizer? I just bought a big thing of purell.

Monkey sits by Barbossa's boots.
Translation: why are you guys so blind? These boots are so obvious.

Jack picks up Barbossa's hat.
Translation: As usual, I am ten steps ahead of everyone.

Tia: Davy Jones cannot make port. Cannot come on land but once every ten years. Land is where you are safe Jack Sparrow. And so you will carry with you.
Translation: My crystal ball and my black teeth tell me Davy has been on land recently. Maybe this is a hint that its time to settle down and get a picket fence and a dog, Jack.

Jack: Dirt. This is a jar of dirt.
Translation: I hope these aren't your uncles ashes.

Tia: Yes.
Translation: Oh crap... THATS what they are.

Jack: Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Translation: You really need to have a garage sale, Tia. Or maybe sell some things on ebay.

Tia: If you dont want it, give it back.
Translation: I like to keep old wierd stuff around. Like Barbossa.

Jack: No!
Translation: Maybe its magical dirt. Ooo! Maybe I can use it as a face mask for spa night with lizzie!

Tia: Then it helps.
Translation: Sorry doll, its just plain old dirt. There might be a worm or two in there though.

Will: It seems we have a need to find the flying dutchman.
Translation: Why are all my lines exposition? Grr....

Tia: A touch of destiny...
Translation: It was nice meeting ya, kid. Have fun in hell.

Originally posted by willofthewisp
PRISONER
Come here, boy... Want a nice,
juicy bone?
TRANSLATION: This bone is starting to look pretty tasty....

JACK
You can keep doing that forever,
that dog's never going to move.
TRANSLATION: It only will if you have the Captain Jack touch, heh heh heh.
PRISONER
Excuse us if we ain't resigned
ourselves to the gallows just yet.
TRANSLATION: Some of us don't have our looks going for us like you.

JACK (grins)
TRANSLATION: Man, I won't move either. Good thing they can't see what my hands are doing. That girl today was hot.


EXT. FORT CHARLES - PARAPETS - NIGHT

A noose hangs from a gallows in the courtyard. Norrington
and Swann walk along the far wall.

SWANN
Has my daughter given you an
answer yet?
TRANSLATION: Or is she already pregnant?

NORRINGTON
No. She hasn't.
TRANSLATION: Good sign? Bad sign?

SWANN
Well, she had a taxing day...
Ghastly weather tonight.

TRANSLATION: As long as she and that pirate don't share a doomed kiss on the Black Pearl.

NORRINGTON
Bleak. Very bleak.
TRANSLATION: I bet they will share a kiss if I don't marry her in this one. Stiff upper lip, James.

From the distance, there is a BOOM -

SWANN
What was that?
TRANSLATION: Ew, Norrington. Say excuse me next time.

-- and then the WHISTLE of an incoming ball --

NORRINGTON
Cannon fire!
TRANSLATION: A fart joke? Gov, you really aren't funny.

He tackles Swann as the wall of the parapet EXPLODES --

INT. CELL BLOCK - NIGHT

Jack sits up. There are more BOOMS -

JACK
I know those guns!
TRANSLATION: Anyone want to see my guns? I'm good at flexing.

He peers out through the bars of the window. The other
prisoners crowd around their window as well.

JACK (CONT'D)
It's the Black Pearl.
TRANSLATION: Daddy missed you, sweetheart, but he's coming! (makes kissy sounds)

PRISONER
(frightened)
The Black Pearl? I've heard
stories ... she's been preying on
ships and settlements for near ten
years ... and never leaves any
survivors.
TRANSLATION: I don't really care. I just like scaring people.

JACK
No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?
TRANSLATION: Seriously, it kind of sucks being the smartest one in the movie.


you are HYSTERICAL. Oh gosh. as usual. the part between Swann and Norri was HILARIOUS. oh gosh.

i love this so much. LOL

Originally posted by CaptinJackLover
chyeah! Jack would look hot in anything!

To phrse the captain "it should be a dress or nothing." only I wouldn't want to see Jack in a dress. Although he might still be hott. But I forget where I'm going with this... Jack's just hott. the end. haha

what scenes havent we done?

Has anyone done the end of movie 1, right before they save Jack to the end?

Tortuga. Both 1 and 2.

thats true. we just need to go through the whole movie in order so we dont 4get none

Tortuga from POTC 1:

Jack : More importantly, it is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep this sweet, proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga , savvy? What do you think?
TRANSLATION: you haven't been here yet?! damn you're missing out on life, kid. You should stay here and I'll go get Elizabeth for myself.

Will : It'll linger.
TRANSLATION: I'm not sure I like it here. I'm quite wussy about somethings...

Jack : I?ll tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted.
TRANSLATION: I'm really lonely, but here I'm not as lonely. You should really just hand over your bonnie lass and you stay here and I'll run away with Izzie. Wha'd'you say to that?

Jack : Scarlett ! Not sure I deserved that. Giselle!
TRANSLATION: What was that for?! Oh hey I know her too!

Giselle: Who was she?!
TRANSLATION: Whats a good excuse to slap this sexy pirate?

Jack : What? I may have deserved that.
TRANSLATION: I'm not really sure I deserved it. I hope I don't have a permanent hand print on my face in the morning.

Gibbs : Curse you for breathing, you slack-jawed idiot! Mother?s love! Jack ! You should know better than to wake a man when he?s sleeping. 'S bad luck.
TRANSLATION: Good morning Piggies! Aw, Jack, do I have to leave?

Jack : Ah, fortunately I know how to counter it. The man who did the waking buys, the man who was sleeping, a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
TRANSLATION: Look at how amazingly hott I am speaking incoherently to someone who is sleeping with pigs and smells like he hasn't bathed in 30 or 40 years... If you get up, I'll give you some rum, how's that?

Gibbs : Aye, that'll about do it. Blast! I?m already awake!
TRANSLATION: rum? Ok. No more cold water... we all know how that affects a man.

Will : That was for the smell.
TRANSLATION: When did you take a bath last, man? We might need about 40 more buckets of water for you...

lol HILARIOUS! i love it!

we're really getting down to it. i think we're almost done...

i wanna try! ill do the very beginning Jack scenes:

*Jack sails in on the sinking ship and steps onto dock*
TR: Look how ssexxi that entrance was! i mean, who else can do that?

Chancellor dude:Hey! hold up there, you!
TR:d*** i wish i was gay! he is FINE!

Chancellor dude:Its a shilling to tie up your boat to the dock!
TR:but if you dont have a shilling, i could always lend you one!

Chancellor dude:And i shall need to know your name
TR: and you can leave your number, if you wanna too!

Ssexxi man:what do you say to three shillings, and we forget the name
TR: I think this dude is hitting on me(i mean, who wouldnt,but) ill give you three shillings if you just leave me alone!

Chancellor dude:Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith!
TR:Call me anytime! I'll be home!

aaannndddd.................

*Jack walks towards ships but is blocked by Murtogg and Mullroy*
Murtogg:This dock is off limits to civilians
TR:i really wish i could let u pass, but just cuz ur ssexxi, i cant let u go

JAck:Im terribly sorry, i didnt know. if i see one, i shall inform you immediatley!
TR:are you kidding me?do you even know who i am? im Captain JackSparrow, savvy?

*Murtogg and Mullroy block his way*
Jack:apparently theres some kind of high-toned and fancy to do up at the fort, eh? how could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation?
TR:I feel sorry for these guys, poor weenies didnt get invited to the frilly little party.

Murtoggomeones got to make sure this dock stays off limits to civilians
TR:He is making it increasingly hard to focus. he is blinding me with ssexxiness

Jack:Its a fine goal to be sure. but it seem to me, that a ship like THAT makes this one look a bit superfluous,really
TR:hahahaha! im blinding them with my ssexxiness!!!!

Murtogg:Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But theres not as can match the interceptor for speed!
TR:It is a pretty lil ship, innit? i bet the Black Pearl is better though!

JAck:I've heard of one! Its supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable.....the Black Pearl!
TR:My ship can f*** yours anyday! Black sails, man! and they got holes in 'em!

Mullroy:Well, theres no REAL ship, as can match the interceptor
TR:except the Black Pearl, cuz its awesomeness

Murtogg:Black Pearl is a real ship.
TR:How dare you insult Captain Jack's ship of awesomeness!

Mullroy:No its not
TR:I dont know what im saying. i think im going psycho

Murtogg:Yes it is, i've seen it!
TR:Ok, maybe i havent, but i KNOW its the most awesome!!

Mullroy:You've seen it?
TR:I bet he has, im just a stupid little girl who likes frilly parties. im sad i didnt get invited to that party

Mullroy:You havent seen it!
TR:WHAT AM I SAYING!

Murtogg:Yes, i have!
TR: HE WONT LISTEN! *puts on a puppy dog pout*

Mullroy:You've seen the ship, with Black sails, thats crewed by the damned? and captained by a man, so evil, that hell itself, spat hi mback out?
TR:Basically the coolest ship in the world

Murtogg:No
TRtop being mean to me!!

Mullroy:No
TR:I knew he hadn't! wait..............

Murtogg:But i have seen a ship with black sails!
TR:this is probably a really stupid comeback

Mullroy:Oh! and no ship thats not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldnt possibly be any other ship than the black pearl, is that what your saying?
TR:I dont even know what im saying!

Murtogg:No!
TR:Im an idiot!

Mullroy:Like i said, theres no real ship as can match the intercep................
TR:im blubbering on about nothing, so im jusy gonna stop

Murtogg:Hey! You!
TR:He got on our ship!! wah!!

Mullroy:You dont have permission to be aboard there,mate!
TR:Actually, he can go wherever he wants! hes Captain Jack Sparrow!

Jack:Im sorry, its just, its such a pretty boat.........ship!
TR:I can see it now! im gonna crash this ship because of a girl and a guy that fall in love, and sooner or later im gonna steal the girl!

Mullroy:Whats you name?
TR:I bet his name is pretty hot

JAckmith! or Smithy, if you like
TR:I think these guys r crushin on me too. its kinda sick. tho i am pretty irrisistable!

Mullroy:Whats your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
TR:I wanna become his purpose!

Murtogg:Yeah, and no lies!
TR:No, me!!!!

Jack:Well then, i confess. it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid pilliage, plunder, and otherwise pilfer my weasley, black guts out!
TR:I am SO smooth!

Murtogg:I said no lies!
TR:I actually believe every word, and i think its ssexxi

Mullroy:I think hes telling the truth
TR:Of course hes telling the truth!

Murtogg:If he were telling the truth, he wouldnt of told us!
TR:well, considering this is Jack Sparrow, i would say he would. hes so clever that way

Jack:Unless of course he knew you wouldnt believe the truth, even if he told it to you!
TR: these guys are probably so dumb, they didnt even understand what i said. but they are nothing to that bloody, stupid Will Turner!

haha, nice. Yeah, I think we've done almost the whole movie, 1 and 2. Now someone should put them in order and we can read it. Taxing but rewarding.

Cannibal island: throne



TR: Whoa...this feels like im in the movie KING KONG...and i would have been if Peter Jackson was still talking to me...if only i hadn't of made him into a human dartboard with my bow and arrow...



TR: oooh...lovely decour.....



TR: Bloodyhell this is a long way to be carried....i can feel my tootsies going numb....



TR: HAHAHA! I love it when people openly make fun of beckett....


Cannibals: Hurry-hurry tan daga!
TR: Hurry up lads! The longer the food stays alive, the more time we have to spend wanting to eat it!



TR: A throne?? Wow Jack...thats one almighty toilet seat you have there...



TR: Oh god...not this whelp again...


Will Turner: Jack? Jack Sparrow! I can honestly say I'm glad to see you!
TR: Actually that's a lie...but at this moment in time beggars can't be choosers...



TR: I'd watch it if i were you, or you might to see my feather duster take a trip to where the sun don't shine....



TR: If Jack even THINKS about going there..again...I will attempt to kill him...and obviously not succeed for plot reasons...


Will Turner: Jack! It's me! Will Turner!
TR: You should remember my name....EVERYONE should remember my name.....I am the reason this movie exists!!!...according to the Will and elizabeth shippers, anyway....


Jack Sparrow: Wah-say kohn.
TR:You are an idiot

White-faced cannibal: Een dah-lah. Eeseepi.
TR: And so are the Will and Elizabeth shippers! Agreed?


Cannibal crowd: Eeseepi.
TR: AGREED!!!!!!!

Will Turner: Tell 'em to let me down.
TR: So i can flaunt my masculine ways within the film...but never quite shine bright enough when next to you, Jack....


Jack Sparrow: Kay-lay lam. Lam piki-piki. Lam meensy weensy. Lam say-say... eunuchy. Snip-snip.
TR: Heres the low-down, lads....the whelp wants me to help find his woman - who by the way quite fancies me, if i do say so myself- and then rescue the whole film by jumping fearlessly into a giant vagina-shaped monster....oh, and he's had unmentionable things done to his private-parts...which is the reason why he can't jump into the giant vagina himself...savvy?



TR: How is it everyone knows what i mean when i make this sign?


Cannibal crowd: Ahhh... eunuchy!
TR: Ouch! The poor sod!



TR: I'll pretend to ignore him now, and then maybe he will go away....


Will Turner: Jack! The Compass! That's all I need, Elizabeth is in danger. We were arrested for trying to help *you*. She faces the gallows!
TR: basically, if you let me go i'll let you have elizabeth...shes not that important to me, anyway!



TR: Not too casual, mind...I have to make a scene....


Jack Sparrow: Say-say lam shoop-shoop sha smalay-lama shoo-koo. Savvy? Ball licky-licky.
TR: Lads, she's got a big mouth, big hair and big breasts...is that not good enough of a reason to rescue her?


Green-faced cannibal: Ball licky-licky?
TR: Big breast?


Cannibal crowd: Ball licky-licky!
TR: BIG BREASTS!



Cannibal crowd: Boom-shoo-boo, boom-shoo-boo, boom-shoo-boo...
TR: Big breasts! big breasts! big breasts!


Jack Sparrow: Save me!
TR: If i stay here any longer I'LL end up having unmentionable things done to MY private parts! ...oh, and goodluck in the hamster ball, by the way...let me know how you get on with that....


Will Turner: Jack, what did you tell them? No! What about Elizabeth? *Jack...!*
TR: Hamster ball?? Jack, are you giving me the run around again!?!




TR: Oh B***ocks!

Oh my goodness as usual that was flipping awesome.

i LOVED all the making fun of the will/liz shippers. LOL. that was hilarious. and the line about will wanting to kill jack, but not succeeding for plot reasons.... oh boy, it was good....