Spidervlad
Alright, before anyone starts reading this. Really, i'm a literal and intellegent person who never got a B on any English subject. So any mistakes of spelling I make is INTENTIONAL.
Second of all, this isn't ment to be intellegent. This is ment to be stupid, random, and thus funny. Alright, now lets get started.
Chapter 1: The Dursleys
Harry woke up in the middle of the night as his nose picked up a nasty smell.
"Goddamit Hegwid, if you fart again i'm a blow your head open" said Harry.
The owl cheerped at Harry. The owl knew who really farted, like fifty times in the past 5 hours of sleep.
"Thats right, yor sorry butt shouldn't be talking back to me" answered back Harry.
At this point of the story, you might wonder what happened to the heroic boy who saved so many lives...
It all began on one September morning, like no other. Harry was bored, and he did not know what to do. Then, he encountered a special spell he found in a book. A spell... A spell like no other!
Harry read the spell and wanted to try it, he heard it has amazing effects. And so, he read aloud the spell.
"Gutmeheigh!" He shouted as he pointed at his desk. Suddenly, a stack of herbs which looked like leaves of a maple tree except with alot of different pointing ends appeared on his desk.
The book said to burn them and inhale them.
AND THAT, is how, Harry Potter, the boy who lived, got addicted to drugs.
Suddenly a brown dusty colored owl hit the window with a clang.
"NO Hegwid, I'm not giving you any of my Marijuana you stupid bag of soysauce mixed with beatrice!!!!!" said the sleepy Harry Potter.
Then, a letter came through the slip in the window. Harry opened the letter, in the proccess accidentaly sticking it up his own nose. The letter was from the Weasleys, saying that they will be coming to the Dursley's house to take him to the Burrow.
"Hedwig, doez you thinkas that we can persade Ron to try this stuvv?"
asked Harry smacking his head against the table a few times before realizing what he was doing.
"Hahaha, Hedwig. Yo wunna know somethingz hilarious?" asked Harry sniffing some Marijuana.
Hedwig hooted.
"Ya know where weasles livez in?"
"Da burrow!"
And with that Harry began laughing, and then was abruptly stopped when the window lock broke apart and the window slammed into Harry's face.
Second of all, this isn't ment to be intellegent. This is ment to be stupid, random, and thus funny. Alright, now lets get started.
Chapter 1: The Dursleys
Harry woke up in the middle of the night as his nose picked up a nasty smell.
"Goddamit Hegwid, if you fart again i'm a blow your head open" said Harry.
The owl cheerped at Harry. The owl knew who really farted, like fifty times in the past 5 hours of sleep.
"Thats right, yor sorry butt shouldn't be talking back to me" answered back Harry.
At this point of the story, you might wonder what happened to the heroic boy who saved so many lives...
It all began on one September morning, like no other. Harry was bored, and he did not know what to do. Then, he encountered a special spell he found in a book. A spell... A spell like no other!
Harry read the spell and wanted to try it, he heard it has amazing effects. And so, he read aloud the spell.
"Gutmeheigh!" He shouted as he pointed at his desk. Suddenly, a stack of herbs which looked like leaves of a maple tree except with alot of different pointing ends appeared on his desk.
The book said to burn them and inhale them.
AND THAT, is how, Harry Potter, the boy who lived, got addicted to drugs.
Suddenly a brown dusty colored owl hit the window with a clang.
"NO Hegwid, I'm not giving you any of my Marijuana you stupid bag of soysauce mixed with beatrice!!!!!" said the sleepy Harry Potter.
Then, a letter came through the slip in the window. Harry opened the letter, in the proccess accidentaly sticking it up his own nose. The letter was from the Weasleys, saying that they will be coming to the Dursley's house to take him to the Burrow.
"Hedwig, doez you thinkas that we can persade Ron to try this stuvv?"
asked Harry smacking his head against the table a few times before realizing what he was doing.
"Hahaha, Hedwig. Yo wunna know somethingz hilarious?" asked Harry sniffing some Marijuana.
Hedwig hooted.
"Ya know where weasles livez in?"
"Da burrow!"
And with that Harry began laughing, and then was abruptly stopped when the window lock broke apart and the window slammed into Harry's face.