Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Aha!!!

here we go again;
Madness abound!!!!!!

For those of you that are new to this and have no clue what its about;

A few months ago i made a thread called "the unforgiveable diaries of DMC" - - basically its just the diary entries of the cast and crew of POTC

We had alot of fun, and pretty much made it all up as we went along...hence, the madness lol

Anyone can join in and make a diary, and you can write anyone you want!!!!

We're starting from the beginning now though, so any storylines/funny tales we had in the other diaries don't count....

These are brand-spanking new, baby!!!




ok, Ill get the ball rolling.....






Johnny

Day One: Returning to Film AWE...oh, the joy!

Dear Ichy - Yep, Ichy IS still alive!


We're back once again upon the multi-sets for At World's End.

As usual, it didn't take sad-sack (orli) long to find the canteen...you'd think he hadn't eaten since we filmed the end of DMC...

Actually, I can vouch for the fact that he hadn't.
He beat everyone to the que just so he could get second helpings of everything...greedy git.

Rumour on set before we left for the DMC premier was that Sad-Sack was going to have a half-naked scene -

(I know, i know. As disturbing as it sounds, its not half as disturbing as the look of utter joy that spread across his holier-than-thou face...)

- So you can imagine his complete lack of intelligence when he decided he was going to have to 'buff' himself up for the role....

I say 'Buff', but it was more like 'puff'.

The last i heard after we left the caribbean, he could be seen coming out of a tanning salon looking like an oversized 'Mr Crabbs' from a cartoon about a yellow sponge who apparently lives in a woman's bikini bottom...

Crabbs, indeed...

Anyway, to cut a long story short...
news had spread to my finely tuned ears that Gore and a few of the other staff members (mainly women) had protested to Sad-sack cavorting his white and very unmanly chest in the view of the public -

(Hell, we got letters of complaint from one owner of a house nearby our trailors because the great idiot had decided to practice his sword fighting right in the middle of an expensive flower bed...needless to say, the neighbours magnolia's will never be the same again...)

- So guess what they decided to do??
Give ME a shirtless scene!

Why? You ask?
Well, I don't really know, to be honest...
It could have something to do with my eternal sexyness...

but at the end of the day, i guess it beats being blinded by the bright white canvas that is Orlando's sad excuse for washboard abs....

lmao lmao lmao!! YES THEY're Back!!! W0o0o0o0o0o00o!!!

Keira

Day One

Dear Snuggles



After a nice relaxing break, it was hard to throw myself back into the madness of the pirates films...

But technically i wasn't thrown, i was pulled in by Mr Jack Bloody Davenport!

I got up nice and early and decided to make a grand entrace to the set;

...but this failed miserably because as soon as i graced Johnny with my presence, he had the audacity to ask me whether i had bothered to do my hair this morning...

In MY defence, it is the humidity of the caribbean that makes my hair unfold like a bust matress...

Jack was no help, either.
When i asked him if he wanted to practice sword fighting with me, he told me that he liked his knee-caps too much to want to lose them unwittingly.

Fair enough, but he didn't have to add that his insurance shot up because of the last time we had a 'sword fight'...how he managed to dis-insert the sword-tip, i'll never know...

lmao!!!

Kevin Mcnally

Day One:

Dear whoever

I've got to say that it's good to be back!

Only yesterday I was on the phone to Mckenzie.
He told me he was excited to get back, too! ...apparently his 'less-than-legal' shrubbery should have grown by a few meters by now...

I plan on pulling everyone out on a massive night out tonight...get everyone good and legless (except Niaomi...she's a mean drunk and tends to start fights with herself if left alone for too long...).

Johnny gave me a sound piece of advice before;

"Avoid Sad-sack at all costs."

I didn't ask why, but judging by the red glow of Orlando's skin, I'm beginning to think he looks like satan in really back stockings...

Jack D

Day One

Dear Norrie-poo

I arrived at my trailer, and no sooner had i tested out the feather matress on the bed -

(You know you've made it in hollywood when you have a feather matress...its like sleeping on a flock of dead pigeons....)

- the doorbell rang!

Yep, i now have a doorbell!

Well anyway, apparently Jerry was calling a meeting for all the staff and actors in his 'mansion-on-wheels'...his trailor makes the Queens palace look like a council estate flat in the suburbs...

So there i sat for three boring hours, as the production company explained exactly what we would be doing...

I got so bored that i swear i almost mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes open...

I looked to the left of me;
Keira was unpleasantly picking her nose...something you never thought you would see from a woman who graces every magazine cover in the world.

Imagine the head lines;

"Keira Knightly Nose Best"
"Need a knife and fork for that, love?"
"Keira accidently pulls out brain through her left nostril"

I don't know....

Then i looked to the right of me;

Orlando was in a mood with 'heat magazine'...apparently he had only come in second in a poll of 'most sexiest men in the world'...

I told him not to worry;
He came first in 'the ten worst fashoin disasters of all time' ... I mean, honestly! Who wears a hawiian shirt with chord pants?

nvr get tired of these lol

ur not rusty at all!!!


i loved it lol!

yay! i can't wait for more! i may even try writing a couple

Barbossa

Day 1

Dear Joey:

Well, I woke up this morning in a hammock beside my trailer and just about jumped up the coconut tree it was tied to when something jumped on my bare chest and went screeeeeeeeeeeeech. Oh my living stars, it is that screaming monkey girl Tyra or 'monkey Jack' as she is known on on the set. She is digging in my ear looking for a peanut. I grabbed her and put her down and then Poochie came running up with his keys and laid them at my feet. I tried to explain to both of them that Johnny is the one with the pea...nuts, I just have nuts. hahaha

Anyway, about that time the coconuts started falling out of the trees and Poochie started barking and I looked down and someone had written DORK in sunblock on my chest. I am going to find out who did this if it takes me all day. I am not a DORK, I am Hector Barbossa.

Tyra jumped up on my lap and started combing through my hair and finally found a peanut. I guess someone is out to get me since I didn't turn out to be Anamaria in the last scene of DMC. Not my problem, no siry, and not going to worry about it, not one peanut's worth.

TeePirategirl just strolled up with a "Howdy do, Pardner" and took Poochie to get groomed for his big shot today. That dog looks scruffier and scruffier like they are putting mousse in his hair or something. He sort of looks like Keith on four legs if you want a real Kodak moment in your mind's eye.

Hear comes Lovethemtigers driving her little pony cart and PirateDiva is right beside her on that big white horse.

"Hey Diva, have you seen Willothewisp, I am about ready to go to the set and she said she would be here by now.?"

"No, but I though surely she would be here by now. I guess she may have had to see Dwaine/Bob who is head of security about something."

Well, phooy I am tired of all this waiting around. I am just glad I have my identity back after that last feasco. Well, bless my stars, here comes Tyra and she has a bag of peanuts and Johnny is chasing her. I guess I know who has been leaving peanuts on my person now. OUCH, blast and to heck and back those bloody coconuts are going to be the bane of my existance. Nuts, nuts, peanuts, coconuts, oh just nuts. Arggggggggggggggh.

Kraken

I don't have a day, I am not even here day.

Dear Whomever wants to read this.

I am dead, I am dead. Do you understand, I AM DEAD!

I had one bite too many of that scrumptious and saucy Jack Sparrow. Although he didn't taste too much like a bird. Then Davy Jones came calling with his big thumper on the ship and naturally I came up and BOOM I got blown out of the water.

As an actor this is real heartbreaking for me, even though I don't have a heart. Hum, i wonder where I left it. Maybe it is on the ship with licking Jack Sparrow in Davy's locker. Somehow I don't think I get to go to the locker. Does anyone know where I go.

They all called me a big fish. Does no one realize I am a King in the ocean, I am a giant squid.

Please forward all my mail to those great Kraken hunters Pintel and Reggetti. I wish I could have eaten them too. Yum, yum, eat um up.

that's hilarious!

feel free to join in ibd43

Omg this is soo funny lol, you guys are soo good at this, lmao I can fully picture everything!!! more more MORE!!!

My fav is johnny's, jack's, orli's and... darn! everyone! this is hilarious!

Johnny

Day Two

dear ichy

I got a knock on my trailer door at approximately 3am this morning...

I thought it might be sad-sack playing knock and run again and was about to induce humourous amounts of pain on him with a baseball bat...
until i opened the door and im met with the sight of Geoffrey in his nylon boxer shorts, hurtling through my doorway.

It wasn't the fact that he barged in without an invite that irritated me...nor was it the fact that no sooner had he intruded, that he went straight for my wine cabinet and decided to pour himself a glass of my expensive wine...

No, it was the fact that he was wearing 'Team Willabeth' shirt that really got my back up.

My blood boiled.

"What the hell is that?" I asked him.

"What?" He asked, acting all innocent. "Oh, this?" He picked at the picture of sad-sack on the left hand side.

"Orlando's been giving them out to anyone who will have them...but keira won't co-operate...mostly because she isn't on the team"

Ha!
Atleast that made two of us!

"What does it stand for, anyway?" geoffrey asked me, pouring yet another glass of wine from my ridiculously priced collection.

To be honest, i wasn't really all that sure...
But i knew there was a war going on somewhere...probably on the internet where people can argue for days about the price of fish, and whose ship is better than whoever's...

Personally, i think my ship is the best...
it's a little yacht currently in the port because it has sprung a leak...i'll never let sad-sack near the wheel ever again...

But amidst all this; one question had not been answered;

What the hell was geoffrey doing in my trailer at 3am drinking my overly-expensive wine?

Well, it turns out that 'trya' the monkey has taken quite a shine to him, and now he's afraid to go home because he might find her in his bed...

Eating his nuts...

You know, if i sold this story to a magazine i would be quids in...
Maybe i should tell sad-sack about it, he could do with a few quid...

Get some new pants...and a haircut.

Orli

day two

Dear Nobody

Revenge is a dish best served cold.
but i don't like cold food so thats pretty much out of the question.

We dont start filming again for another three days, so i decided to top up on my golden-brown tan on the beach with Jack and Mckenzie...

Bad idea.

I swear, i have never met two more imature idiots in my life!
No sooner had i taken off my top, did they start telling me that i looked like the orange 'tango man'...
THEN they took it upon themselves to squirt me with their water guns.

I just about had enough, when they told me that the wouldn't play around anymore, and that they would be nice to me...
And then they passed me the suncream.

Well, it was all well and good for the first half an hour. I could feel the sun getting hotter and hotter....

Then an hour passed, and then two hours passed...and by that time i felt like a turkey in the oven.

At this current moment in time, i am sitting in minor injuries in a caribbean hospital...

When asked by the Doctor how it was possible that i could mistake cooking oil for sun tan lotion, i looked him directly in the eye and swore at him.

A word of advice;

Never swear at a doctor.
He has too many pointy objects that can be inserted into places that are best left to the imagination.

LMAO!!

I need to catch up!!!

I...must....participate...!!!

yes darling, you must!!!!

rofl!

that was awesome!

thanks
Jaehskywalker, you should try one!

maybe.....

but i'm not that good... maybe i'll observe first...

feel free to observe all you want
aslong as you post one eventually

i dont plan them out, i just go with the flow when im writing (thats why they're rubbish mainly lol)

just go with it and have fun (mainly bashing orli hehe)

lol... you guys aren't very good to orli now... cut the whelp some slack....

ahh... who would i choose...

we did this in the DMC diaries, too...

Dont get me wrong i love orlando bloom, he can do good comedy..

But we needed a butt of the jokes, and there he was; a ready made ass lmao!

kiddin, i love him really hehe

i haven't read the DMC diaries then really.... i'm sorta kinda new here, first real post was the thread 'What POTC characters would never say...'

johnny called orli weirdo in a newspaper i saw (i kept the article lol), and orli called johnny weirdo too lol...

lol, i like him too...

i'm gonna do it... gotta choose who though. whoo.. whoo..

one question mate: why is Johnny's diary or something is named ichy?

*laughing*

I love you T. Maria!!

jaehskywalker;


You HAVE to write some diaries!!!
Dont worry, in the dmc bloopers we burned down keira's trailor so she ended up having to share johnny yacht...much to his annoyance...and she snapped his guitar strings on him because he put her stuffed teddies on a bonfire and religiously burned them lol

No actor is safe, lmao!

Ichy is a sheep that belongs to bwhaha...a fictional sheep that we created in the 'dmc bloopers' thread....god bless that sheep lol.

Ichabod crane is also the name of a character that johnny played in sleepy hollow...hence, the shortened version of 'ichy' lol

And siriuswriter;
i love you too!!

you should post some diaries!!!

Chow young fat

Dear mother country,
(China's Communists too, so why not.. )

My first day on set was not exactly what one would expect. I arrived late yesterday (due to a harrowing experience with airline peanuts and an ill begotten monkey. Stupid poachers!) , so I only caught the end of Jerry's meeting.

By end I mean the last hour, it felt like ages! I was quite surprised when Jack D. laid his head on my shoulder for the last 20 minutes (he got erm, comfortable)...I didn't think he, how you say, 'rolled that way'. I think he was under the impression he was being discreet. Ted kept giving me sympathetic looks. Anyway I wasn't really bothered by it until I caught Kierra's jealous looks, I've never seen something so disturbing as a jealous woman with a nose up her finger...

When the meeting was finally over (12:00 am), I escaped the trailer with a wet shoulder(drool...), a booger on my sleeve (eww!), and a very tired greeting from each member of the very divided cast (surprising for all the talk of "we get along very well, yeah".

Finally at my trailer, I settled in to sleep off my 'jet lag' as quickly as I could. So much for that.

The night went as follows: 12:30am, I was interrupted that night by a pushy Bloom (with a horribly bright tan) handing out hideous, badly made tee shirts, 1:00 am a panicked monkey followed by a frisky parrot, Geoffry Rush storming in in a fit of jealously at 2:50 am to steal the ugly willabeth tee shirt I'd received, and when I finally though things had settled down a drunk Rush serenaded my window, apologizing from 4:00 to 5:00 am.

Well, at least I won't have to use those contact lenses tomorrow, my eyes are blood shot enough without them!

Filming in China could never had prepared me for this! (And I thought that tree scene in Crouching tiger was the oddest thing I'd ever do, now I find out I'm to wear 9inch nails!)

Originally posted by ~dorkerina~
Chow young fat

Dear mother country,
(China's Communists too, so why not.. )

My first day on set was not exactly what one would expect. I arrived late yesterday (due to a harrowing experience with airline peanuts and an ill begotten monkey. Stupid poachers!) , so I only caught the end of Jerry's meeting.

By end I mean the last hour, it felt like ages! I was quite surprised when Jack D. laid his head on my shoulder for the last 20 minutes (he got erm, comfortable)...I didn't think he, how you say, 'rolled that way'. I think he was under the impression he was being discreet. Ted kept giving me sympathetic looks. Anyway I wasn't really bothered by it until I caught Kierra's jealous looks, I've never seen something so disturbing as a jealous woman with a nose up her finger...

When the meeting was finally over (12:00 am), I escaped the trailer with a wet shoulder(drool...), a booger on my sleeve (eww!), and a very tired greeting from each member of the very divided cast (surprising for all the talk of "we get along very well, yeah".

Finally at my trailer, I settled in to sleep off my 'jet lag' as quickly as I could. So much for that.

The night went as follows: 12:30am, I was interrupted that night by a pushy Bloom (with a horribly bright tan) handing out hideous, badly made tee shirts, 1:00 am a panicked monkey followed by a frisky parrot, Geoffry Rush storming in in a fit of jealously at 2:50 am to steal the ugly willabeth tee shirt I'd received, and when I finally though things had settled down a drunk Rush serenaded my window, apologizing from 4:00 to 5:00 am.

Well, at least I won't have to use those contact lenses tomorrow, my eyes are blood shot enough without them!

Filming in China could never had prepared me for this! (And I thought that tree scene in Crouching tiger was the oddest thing I'd ever do, now I find out I'm to wear 9inch nails!)


LMFFAO!!!

that was hilarious!!!!

like your writing style, its very unique!!

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

I think I'm a bit too wordy.....But I can't help myself!! It's just how it comes out..

no, im exactly the same lol

AH!!

You guys!

I want to post this over at Peas in a Pod!

go for it

i doubt any of us would have any objections hehe

Ah, maria! Come to the foum cause we like so need you there.

I'm gonna copy and paste it.

i shall!!

Crap, I don't know where.

Maria, I'm posting them

Originally posted by T.Maria
no, im exactly the same lol

good to know

a gift and a curse a?

bwa ha ha....i'm waiting for Mrs. Norrie-poo to make a return into these diaries lol pfft :P

Mackenzie Crook (Ragetti)

My Dearest Journal;

I must protest. I really must. And all beings with flesh and blood wandering around this godforsaken place are too wrapped up in their own tedious affairs to pay the slightest attention to my own, so who else am I to come to?

Oh good Lord. I'm rationalizing to a piece of paper.

Well, there go another couple of years to therapy.

At any rate.

Gore (who I am apparently to call "Master Verbinski" as I am just a "minor character) (blast him) is quite insisting on "method acting" on this film.

Yes, we all know what that means.

I am now at a loss of an eye.

Thus the protesting.

More later. It's time for my monumental scene with Naomi. I've been rather looking forward to this one.

Yours most sincerely,
Mackenzie.


(meh, I'm... trying? Definitely not up to T. Maria's standards... )

OMG...I'm dry!

I can't make one lol I suck.

good one, sirius!!

Still copying and pasting them.

OMG im sooo happy everyone is getting involved!!!


These are Hilarious!!! LMAO LMAO

"Master verbinski"!?! omgosh! Thats too hilarious.

Originally posted by sailorleo
bwa ha ha....i'm waiting for Mrs. Norrie-poo to make a return into these diaries lol pfft :P

Me too!

i just caught the post about religiously burning teddy bears.. must check it out!!

Gore Verbinski

Dear Staff,
Today I gave a meeting that unfortunatley had to end along the lines of,

"It has come to my attention that you are all ganging up on the, well, what do you call him, whelp? So I decided to bring you all aside to say, Orlando is just trying to prepare for a scene I haven't had the heart to tell him he wasn't doing. That orange color on his skin just opens him up to so many new colors he can wear and if he ever wanted to wear makeup he- nevermind. Everyone just needs to lay off okay?

As for you Keria- stop making googly eyes at Jack D. We're all professional here, or so I thought."

I then look over to find Mr. Depp scrunched in a little ball on the floor... napping. Why do I do this to myself, why?

I then continued to tell everyone to welcome Chow who apparently finds it funny to stick his 9-inch-long nails into peoples ears. *sigh*

By the last sentence I had 2 people sleeping, Keira picking her nose in plain sight, Mckenzie picking at his wooden eye which I'm still not sure how he got ahold of... and geoffrey staring at his reflection in the mirror asking around if he should dye his hair.

Lord help me.
Goodnight.


Gore





haha. first stab at this thing! hopefully it will progressivly get better... hopefully. :]

those were bloody hilarious!

MacKenzie:

My Dearest Journal:

I have decided that the time has come to make peace with my eye.

So I sat it across the table today, and stared at it for a while.

With the other eye, of course. The good one.

I felt we needed to "reach out to each other."

Or at least that was what my therapist told me. She said we needed to have some kind of closure. And that closing the door on the thing didn't count.

Ah well, I tried.

So now it's sitting on the table across the room from me, and I'm on the couch, just staring at it.

Hmm.

What does one say to one's eye?

Maybe I should say something philisophical like, 'Well, even though I'll only be seeing half the joy from now on, I'll also be only seeing half the sadness."

No. Too corny.

I could say, "Why wouldn't you just bloody stay in my socket?!?!" but I have a feeling that's not really "closing" anything. That's just being a raving madman.

At an inanimate object.

Oh, Eye. Have we got some issues to work through.

And come on, it's not even responding! How am I supposed to have emotional closure with something that's being so... so... wooden?!

-A very distressed Mackenzie.

i gotta write one! anyone gimme someone!

lmao!!!

oh lol...

hey.. guys, can i make one for Jerry Brukheimer or something?

oh course....u can do one of anyone u want....we've even had Diaries for the Poochie before

lol.. cool.. for poochie?

what about the parrot? or cotton? *who acted as cotton nyway..?*

oo!! more!!!! i loved that second Johnny!!! Willabeth t-shirts...can someone do another one for Jack D.?

first try, so probably not hilarious.

Brukheimer

Dear Me,

Gore's meeting is a mess. Knightly was picking her nose while staring at Davenport (how could one make googly-eyeing so despicable?), while Davenport was leaning on Chow. Obviously Chow hated it, and his shirt was dripping with drool. Bloom was orange, (what did he do to himself?) and full of blisters. Everyone was wearing a 'Willabeth' t-shirt. Bloom wanted to give me one, but i refused. I've never seen anything so shabby in my life.

I walked out of the meeting confused. Why did anyone pick Verbinski? And one of chow's fingernails got stuck in my ear. I told the first crew person i saw to glue those fingernails on him so they won't get detached.

The monkey kept hitting me on the head today, and kept finding peanuts in my hair. I knew i shouldn't have ridden on a public plane. Someone's bag of peanuts exploded earlier, and everything was a mess.

Come to think of it, I'm a mess.

Why? Oh, why did i get picked for this job?

Someone, tell me.

-Jerry-poo





I suck go easy on me...!!

IT DID NOT!! LMAO! I LOVED IT!

thanks..

i wanna do one kinda, but im hesitant...

go ahead! try it! i did lol..

mmm... ill try i guess...

Jack D.

Day 4

Dear Norri-poo,

Today was my second day of shooting...I only prayed this morning that this one was better than the 1st one...Well, ill tell you this much, PRAYING IS A FREAKIN SCAM!

Sad-sack got p*ssed at me because I wasnt wearing my Willabeth shirt. So just to p*ss HIM off, I went back to my trailer and edited the shirt so it said "Norribeth" instead. Boy, did that get him worked up! I thought Johnny was gonna kick him in the balls he doesnt have when Orlando nearly stabbed him with his sword...First rule of the POTC handbook that Gore Verbinski and Jerry Bruckheimer singlehandedly overlooked: Never give a mentally ill person a sword.

Keira has been freakily eye-balling me since the hell-fest of a meeting Jerry had the 1st day. I swear I saw her peeking in my trailer window when I was taking a bath yesterday...

I am SERIOUSLY questioning why I ever took this role and if it's worth it. But there is one plus side, if there IS a fourth movie, i most graciously, WILL NOT BE IN ATTENDANCE! I tell you, that death scene will be, very ironically, the best day of my life...It will open new windows for me...and not ones that Keira can peek in on while im dressing and whatnot.

I got a strange letter from a girl named "Sailorleo" in the mail today. The letter. was. scary. She included photo shopped pictures of her and me doing it on a beach...for some reason she shopped herself to look like a nymph...some questions might never be answered...

-Jack "Scarred for Life" Davenport




mmm...not to big on this i admit...

that was funny!!!

thanx...

Maybe i'll try again lol. hmm

sorry for the double post, but here's another try:




Parrot


Dear Squawk!

Me and Jack(the monkey) had our very first fight today. He left me for the peanuts in Jerry's hair.. oh, how can he do that to me? *sniff sniff*

I thought we had this chemistry... We worked together on one scene! *sniffs*

I'm gonna have my revenge. Jerry's going down!

meanwhile, Cotton and I aren't speaking to each other too. we had this loud fight. He accused me that i was always blabbering and nagging him! But he didn't say anything, so i didn't stop.

Oh. Wait. He can't speak.

I miss my monkey.

*cries*

my life is ruined!

very disturbed...
me

Originally posted by ivebeendepped43
mmm... ill try i guess...

Jack D.

Day 4

Dear Norri-poo,

Today was my second day of shooting...I only prayed this morning that this one was better than the 1st one...Well, ill tell you this much, PRAYING IS A FREAKIN SCAM!

Sad-sack got p*ssed at me because I wasnt wearing my Willabeth shirt. So just to p*ss HIM off, I went back to my trailer and edited the shirt so it said "Norribeth" instead. Boy, did that get him worked up! I thought Johnny was gonna kick him in the balls he doesnt have when Orlando nearly stabbed him with his sword...First rule of the POTC handbook that Gore Verbinski and Jerry Bruckheimer singlehandedly overlooked: Never give a mentally ill person a sword.

Keira has been freakily eye-balling me since the hell-fest of a meeting Jerry had the 1st day. I swear I saw her peeking in my trailer window when I was taking a bath yesterday...

I am SERIOUSLY questioning why I ever took this role and if it's worth it. But there is one plus side, if there IS a fourth movie, i most graciously, WILL NOT BE IN ATTENDANCE! I tell you, that death scene will be, very ironically, the best day of my life...It will open new windows for me...and not ones that Keira can peek in on while im dressing and whatnot.

I got a strange letter from a girl named "Sailorleo" in the mail today. The letter. was. scary. She included photo shopped pictures of her and me doing it on a beach...for some reason she shopped herself to look like a nymph...some questions might never be answered...

-Jack "Scarred for Life" Davenport




mmm...not to big on this i admit...

lol, rock on, fear my L337 photoshop skillz!!!!!

sailor! you're scaring him! lol

lmao, this is too funny!

guys, these are hilarious!!!

keep them going!!!

ill post some when i get back from work later on tonight!!

until then, keep them up because they're brilliant!!!!

IBD43
siriuswriter
jaehskywalker

- - fantastic!!!

you MUST do more!!!

oh, i can see we are gonna have so much fun with this!!

we're having fun aight..

thankees..

Hope no one minds if I do another...


Dear Mother Country,

So much for no contacts. The makeup ladies are evil!

It was 5 hours until my first scene (5!) when I found myself walking by their trailer, and wham! They had me in a fifth Nelson ( or is it quarter, half??) so quickly that I had no time to scream for help- or mercy.

I have no idea where they get such inhumane strength when they spend their days with little brushes, etc....

The next thing I knew I was on the ground outside the trailer an hour later, with almost no hair, and a very itchy mustache/goatee. A woman (?) was screaming at me to get up off the ground before I ruined the grime/dirt makeup. In my first attempt I tripped over my goatee. It earned me a knock across the head from my 'Assistant,' as she calls herself.

So, I had nothing to do for four hours but sit under the angry stare of my 'assistant' and be yelled at every ten minutes not to scratch at the mustache. Ack! She didn't even let me wash my hands for lunch. My please for help from passing crew members were to no avail (although the monkey did throw me a peanut...). They usually just started walking faster. I got the distinct feeling they'd dealt with my 'assistant' before.

After shooting was done, and I finally managed to escape my hellish captor, I got mixed up in a very loud fight between cotton and his parrot. They had some communication problems...

Anyway, at least I got away with two eyes intact thanks to fake nails.

(please help me!) Chow

LOL u guys these are even funnier than the DMC ones! I never thought that was possible. fabulouse! keep em comin!

Originally posted by ~dorkerina~
Hope no one minds if I do another...


Dear Mother Country,

So much for no contacts. The makeup ladies are evil!

It was 5 hours until my first scene (5!) when I found myself walking by their trailer, and wham! They had me in a fifth Nelson ( or is it quarter, half??) so quickly that I had no time to scream for help- or mercy.

I have no idea where they get such inhumane strength when they spend their days with little brushes, etc....

The next thing I knew I was on the ground outside the trailer an hour later, with almost no hair, and a very itchy mustache/goatee. A woman (?) was screaming at me to get up off the ground before I ruined the grime/dirt makeup. In my first attempt I tripped over my goatee. It earned me a knock across the head from my 'Assistant,' as she calls herself.

So, I had nothing to do for four hours but sit under the angry stare of my 'assistant' and be yelled at every ten minutes not to scratch at the mustache. Ack! She didn't even let me wash my hands for lunch. My please for help from passing crew members were to no avail (although the monkey did throw me a peanut...). They usually just started walking faster. I got the distinct feeling they'd dealt with my 'assistant' before.

After shooting was done, and I finally managed to escape my hellish captor, I got mixed up in a very loud fight between cotton and his parrot. They had some communication problems...

Anyway, at least I got away with two eyes intact thanks to fake nails.

(please help me!) Chow

P.s. I just hope Cotton heals quickly, I don't know how happy gore will be if he has to do his scene with large gash marks on his face.

lmao!! loving it, dorkerina



ok...


Jack D

Day three

Dear Norrie-poo

I am afraid to say that things with Keira have now gone from bad to worse...

We've been informed off a little mouth-to-mouth scene that has been put into the script (suspiciously at last minute, and Ted was cowering slightly at the sight of Keira as he told us) ...And i dont mean the type of mouth-to-mouth that you do on an unconscious person...

Both keira and i will both be very conscious AND up close and personal at the time....

She seems more into it than I am..but then what do you expect from a girl who has now officially kissed every man on set...INCLUDING the camera guy?

Another notch on the bedpost, so to speak...

Orlando wasn't too happy about it.
But then again, these days hes not happy about anything.

Only yesterday i heard him complaining about the fact that the food menu is the same thing everyday...
But i have since been informed that at dinnertime today he found a rather unpleasant surprise hidden beneath his lasagne....and it wasn't cheese.

I asked johnny how i should handle the kiss.
He thought for a minute and then came up with his own solution;

"Hold your breath until it goes away"

Very noble of him, if you ask me.

In other news, im still getting strange letters from that sailor girl....i suddenly get the feeling that im being watched...

But that could just be keira peeking through my trailers letterbox....

Keira

day three

dear snuggles

You know, its times like these that really get you thinking.

Today I stood there half naked in what appeared to be the set of a Chinese 'bath house'.
WHY i had to be half naked, no body ever said...but johnny had a good laugh at me from the sidelines...said i had chicken legs...

Cruel Bugger.

Theres a fancy scene where the singapore pirates pull orlando out from the water....

Well, that didnt really go to plan on the first take.

Chow said his lines, and we all waited for the other pirates to pull sad-sack up from the water...

But they just stood there chuckling to themselves.

I thought it was a little iffy...and then my suspicions were confirmed when i saw johnny winking at the extras...

It was a whole three minutes before the pirates actually pulled orli up for air, and by that time he was blue in the face and his eyes were rolling in his head.

The paramedics came onto the set as soon as the word spread, and everyone started to panic...even johnny looked a little guilty.

However, it was soon announced that sad-sack had almost feinted because he had opened his mouth to try and breath under water...

Not surprisingly, johnny has not let him live it down since.

Thanks t. (you dont mind if I call you t.?)

Omgosh! Lol, I love kierra's stalkerness...

reminds me of a conversation starter I once heard; 'so, I've been stalking you for a year...'

Johnny's advice is almost as good as Jacks

paranoid norrie-poo is definitely my fav

hehehe i love these..

Originally posted by ~dorkerina~
Thanks t. (you dont mind if I call you t.?)

Omgosh! Lol, I love kierra's stalkerness...

reminds me of a conversation starter I once heard; 'so, I've been stalking you for a year...'

Johnny's advice is almost as good as Jacks

paranoid norrie-poo is definitely my fav

feel free to call me 'T'
everyone else does lol

lol i luv the Norri one T!!!

T!!!

THOSE WERE BLOODY HILARIOUS!
here's mine.




Brukheimer

Dear me

I've learned 2 very important lessons today.

1: never give the sad-sack(I found that everyone was calling bloom this. i decided to get in the fun.) a sword. unless i have those big-muscled people surround him. I've heard about the incident, and yes, good thing he didn't stab Depp. That would've been a huge blow to the budget. I don't think the health insurance covered stabs from lunatics.

2: never let depp get near the sad-sack. They might kill each other, and the script doesn't call for that scene. The whelp almost drowned yesterday, and it's all because of Depp. It was quite hilarious really, but it wasn't when the paramedics asked me to resuscitate him. They didn't even want to go near the sad-sack, but it was their job. I told them I didn't know how(I do know of course, i just don't want to get near the guy) so they left me alone.

On a sidenote, someone have been sending me covert messages that the sparrabeth scenes should be cut off the movie, and i have no idea who or what he or she is.

lesson learned,
-Jerry-poo

posting another one later, gotta go now. see y'all mates..

lmao!!!! love it!

lmao jaeh!!
(can i callyou jaeh for short??? my fingers get all tongue tied when i try to write all of your name lmao!)

that was hilarious!!!!!!!

poor sad-sack...we do make life hard for him lol

apparently, yes..

it's okay T.. Jaeh really is my nickname around here...

anyway.. sorry for double post. again.


Parrot

Dear Squawk!

Chow did something to my Cotton today. I'm off to terrorize him tomorrow, maybe after lunch. Those gash marks I had to treat were deep. Good thing my monkey(I love him so much!!!) and me are okay now.... He threw peanuts at Chow yesterday.

My Jack monkey poo and I are back now. I sent Jerry some messages about the Sparrabeth scenes(just once... promise!) and got him confused. I haven't gotten to the big part of my plan yet...

Cotton and I are best friends again. He asked me to do something about our 'Chow problem'. I'm good at plotting revenge plans, and things are starting to form according to my liking...

Well.. wish me luck on this!

Plotting revenge, (evil laugh)
me

lol!!! MORE PEANUTS!

yeah.. the peanuts!

thats our new obsession...

aye PEAnuts

y must u pick on orlando bloom? why not johnny depp?

Originally posted by potcfan2003
y must u pick on orlando bloom? why not johnny depp?


? Why must you even ask such a question?

1. Orlando is very tease-able.

2. Johnny is irresistible.

johnny depp is butt - ugly!!! Orlando is way better!!!

Not to start a fight, but that's my opinion

ya its all in good fun....lol

orli has been the butt of the Jokes since the DMC DIaries

and the rp's hehe

wat does rp stand for any way?

role plays

o kk thx 4 telling me

Gore Verbinski

Dear me, the only sane one here I think...

You know how in interviews they always ask that same question, "if you weren't doing this, what would you do instead?" I've never quite known how to answer this. Until today- It's very simple. I, Gore Verbinski, would be a kindergarden teacher. Why? You may ask? Let's see...

Ingredients of a Kindergarden Class:
--The girl who won't leave the boy alone: Keira's got that covered. She was caught last night peaking into Jack D.'s trailor... goodness that girl.
--The runt that everyone picks on: Apparently, they've named Mr. Blooom sad-sack. I'm just waiting for the knock-knock jokes to come around... Knock Knock -- who's there? -- orange -- orange who? -- orange orlando, haven't you seen him!?
--The bully.: Johnny has now assumed this role, but to a new extream, attention everyone, the new fad is not just to make fun of someone-- but to completley almost kill them with a huge barral and steaming water. Nice.
--The cheerleader. This would be Orlando. The biggest Willabeth fan I've ever seen in my life. Honestly, T-Shirts? How desperate IS this guy!?
--The whiner: CHOW! For the LOVE! He won't stop complaining about this assistant of his!! So what he got knocked out? This just means him and sad-sack should have some common things to talk about...

As you can see, I made my point. Let's not even get into the lovebirds of the story- to abnormal creatures somehow brought together on this great earth of ours-- but I mean really, and monkey and a parrot!? Get real.

Haven't died of annoyance yet,
Gore



haha. longish, all apologies! but this IS fun!! :]

omg that was HILARIOUS!!!! LMAO LMAO LMAO

LOL!!

brilliant!!!!!

keira

day four

Dear snuggles

Orli has the hump with me.
Apparently hes read yet another woman's magazine with an interview with me in it...

When asked who i would prefer; Johnny or Orlando.
It states that i have picked johnny -

(for obvious reasons that im sure that everyone understands...and i also managed to get in the the extreme sexiness that are his cheekbones)

- which is very true.

Now hes not talking to me, because he seems to think that us Brits need to 'stick together' ...

pish-tosh!

Heres an example of why it would be johny everytime;

if you happen to get stuck on a desert island whilst filming your very first pirates of the caribbean film, whom would you rather be stuck there with???

A. A man who can tell you wild stories about his youth, and has so much wisdom that you feel almost enthralled by his presence...

B. A man who can tell you stories about himself allday long and not one of them are relevent, and has the mental capacity of a tea spoon???

I rest my case.

Besides, the only facts that Sad-sack really knows about himself are the ones that he reads in bloody womens magazines.....



^^^ I read an interview with keira today and she stated she would rather have johnny than orlando....maybe THATS the reason for the sparrabeth hottness??? lol

Also; there was a pick in there with herself and her boyfriend 'rupert friend', and OMFG i had to double take because i thought it was johnny with long hair!!!!!! lol

johnny with long hair...... aka jack sparrow... lol ^_^

that's really funny. Got to wonder if it creeps johnny out....

Originally posted by T.Maria
brilliant!!!!!

keira

day four

Dear snuggles

Orli has the hump with me.
Apparently hes read yet another woman's magazine with an interview with me in it...

When asked who i would prefer; Johnny or Orlando.
It states that i have picked johnny -

(for obvious reasons that im sure that everyone understands...and i also managed to get in the the extreme sexiness that are his cheekbones)

- which is very true.

Now hes not talking to me, because he seems to think that us Brits need to 'stick together' ...

pish-tosh!

Heres an example of why it would be johny everytime;

if you happen to get stuck on a desert island whilst filming your very first pirates of the caribbean film, whom would you rather be stuck there with???

A. A man who can tell you wild stories about his youth, and has so much wisdom that you feel almost enthralled by his presence...

B. A man who can tell you stories about himself allday long and not one of them are relevent, and has the mental capacity of a tea spoon???

I rest my case.

Besides, the only facts that Sad-sack really knows about himself are the ones that he reads in bloody womens magazines.....



^^^ I read an interview with keira today and she stated she would rather have johnny than orlando....maybe THATS the reason for the sparrabeth hottness??? lol

Also; there was a pick in there with herself and her boyfriend 'rupert friend', and OMFG i had to double take because i thought it was johnny with long hair!!!!!! lol

lol i always thought her boyfriend looked like an ugly version of Orlando

lol never seen Rupert...*looks him up* he DOES look like an ugly version of Orlando!

i missed something here.. wat r u talking about and who's rupert?

were talking about Keira's boyfriend, Rupert Friend

o i c

where? where? Picture! Picture!





those are so funny!!!

of who? Rupert?

yes, rupert.

heres one:
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y272/crazedgeek101/hotteez/18.jpg

HE DOES LOOK LIKE AN UGLY ORLI!

goodness!

lol! his cheek bones are much less cute than Johnny's..

i think his eyes are kinda cute, but i can't really see em...

Is it just me or does he look like someone from HP???

lol ugly Orli!!!

actually, he looks like he could come from LotR

^^lol he does!!

even i have to admit that is one UGLY picture!!

tho i still think he is cute as Will...

whoops... I missed a post and thought that it really was orlando.. lol

does look like him... ok im going to stop talking to my self now.

lol....i still Would love to see Orlando and Keira hook up! I think they are adorable together.....it's funny how i would love to see Orlando and Keira together....Yet Will and Elizabeth dont appeal to me....lol!! weird Huh?

talk about strange... Other way around for me...

Originally posted by PirateDiva
lol....i still Would love to see Orlando and Keira hook up! I think they are adorable together.....it's funny how i would love to see Orlando and Keira together....Yet Will and Elizabeth dont appeal to me....lol!! weird Huh?

me too! very wierd

Keira would be better off with orli than that dude.. ermm

NO OFFENSE KEIRA and RUPERT!!

just incase you come here and peek.


any new logs? any? any?

i dont have any inspiriation right now. anyone else?

I've got nothing.. wow. writers block? all of us? almost.. all of us it seems.

well, wheres willo or kate?

willo is still alive, as you can see.. where's kate? i have no idea. i could pull out the spyglass, but i doubt i'd see her. the compass would be no use, coz everyone knows what we all want most..

i havent seen her in a while. i miss her genius

puzzling where she is..

Originally posted by ivebeendepped43
heres one:
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y272/crazedgeek101/hotteez/18.jpg

a cross between orly and... kid rock????

HAve u guys seen Pride and Prejiduice? He plays in it with Keira. That's how they met. He looks a bit better in P&P....but not much.

is it weird that i think rupert is almost good looking? :]

extremely... and i have no log ideas...

I got one.. u can pick up from this one, i don't mind because i have no idea wat the monkey will do... u decide

jack the Monkey

dear diary,

I left th epeanuts for parrot. I'm bored now, because nothing new is going on. The paremedics blocked our number. I guess that they don't like being bothered so much... i just thought of a very mean, yet brilliant prank to play!! Mwahahaha!!!!

The prankster,
jack the monkey

Tia Dalma

Dear diary
(what? I have to name it or something? o.0)

When I came on set today for the first time, I could tell I was in for one heck of a ride. Sitting down by my music-box-cart majig with a cranberry juice on the rocks, I could smell a mystery just waiting to be resolved.

Johnny and lando are already at each others throats. Just why they clash so, I'm not sure. Maybe johnnys just stripes, and landos just plaid.
A really ugly pink, and fake tan plaid.

This particular problem, I've been told, has come about because of one orange brained scheme. A t-shirt that defies all sense of reality. And maturity.

Just something the two of them might take up to get a go at each other. Anyway, now I'm here, the only one willing to wait for tangerine in the emergency room and I just have to ask myself why. Johnny can take care of himself, sneaky bugger, that's for sure. But can't we just get lando a muscle head (paid well to tolerate the kid for sure) to keep out an eye. Then again, maybe that's just asking for trouble. Still, I'll take it up with gore later.

Anyway, judging by the squeal coming from the other side of that door, I'd say fruit boy's just about ready to leave. There's just a few things I'd like to suss out soon as I can get some quiet. The monkey seems up to something, Chows dodging someone (and eyeing to fake nails a bit too fondly), Devenport is just a bit too jumpy, kierra is way too chipper, and rush is on an alcohol binge. I wanna know why. What ever it takes!

Tia (the only sane one!) Dalma, signing off.

If you're wondering on the odd tone of tia's entry there is a good explanation. I was watching an Chevy Chase movie today that made fun of the old thinking out loud bit on mystery cases. I just had to do it!

lol!!! nice!!

thanks

np!!

lol!

we need more!!

gah... i have no motivation!

Originally posted by ~dorkerina~
Tia Dalma

Dear diary
(what? I have to name it or something? o.0)

When I came on set today for the first time, I could tell I was in for one heck of a ride. Sitting down by my music-box-cart majig with a cranberry juice on the rocks, I could smell a mystery just waiting to be resolved.

Johnny and lando are already at each others throats. Just why they clash so, I'm not sure. Maybe johnnys just stripes, and landos just plaid.
A really ugly pink, and fake tan plaid.

This particular problem, I've been told, has come about because of one orange brained scheme. A t-shirt that defies all sense of reality. And maturity.

Just something the two of them might take up to get a go at each other. Anyway, now I'm here, the only one willing to wait for tangerine in the emergency room and I just have to ask myself why. Johnny can take care of himself, sneaky bugger, that's for sure. But can't we just get lando a muscle head (paid well to tolerate the kid for sure) to keep out an eye. Then again, maybe that's just asking for trouble. Still, I'll take it up with gore later.

Anyway, judging by the squeal coming from the other side of that door, I'd say fruit boy's just about ready to leave. There's just a few things I'd like to suss out soon as I can get some quiet. The monkey seems up to something, Chows dodging someone (and eyeing to fake nails a bit too fondly), Devenport is just a bit too jumpy, kierra is way too chipper, and rush is on an alcohol binge. I wanna know why. What ever it takes!

Tia (the only sane one!) Dalma, signing off.

(If you're wondering on the odd tone of tia's entry there is a good explanation. I was watching an Chevy Chase movie today that made fun of the old thinking out loud bit on mystery cases. I just had to do it!)


note to self: The makeup ladies are eyeing me again, better stand behind chow!

well. i posted one recentley but since some people are having brain farts i'll try to start some ideas! lol... hopefully it'll work.

Gore

Dear Diary... Journal

I've been thinking latley. Can I really stand to do a Pirates 4?? I do indeed love working on these MOVIES but the people, that's a different story, but I told you all about that in my last entry, so we'll move on.

The term, Willobeth, has now been plastered in both men and womens bathrooms where were staying- in red lipstick. Many questions may arise... but first and foremost, obviously its sadsack because he's so deperate, why on earth does he have red lipstick?? When I commented about him having the possibility to wear makeup because of his "tan" I was KIDDING- and besides, that color red is NOT his color. That Orlando Bloom sure makes me wonder.

If we do decide on a Pirates 4 that means all the auditions for the other people we bring on will start. I gotta tell you, we get more crazy teenagers who are "Johnny Depp's #1 Fan" than real actors... not sure where that guy get's so many fans. Oh wait-- it's Johnny Depp-- disregard that last statement.

I think I might stab Keira with a fork. God bless her for haveing a career in acting- you know, where you don't act like yourself. Or man-- the world would have a bad things coming. She's crazy. Pure crazy... and annoying, but that's an understatement.

Well it's time to get back to work.
Until later,
Gore

ROTFL

Originally posted by jdl1224
well. i posted one recentley but since some people are having brain farts i'll try to start some ideas! lol... hopefully it'll work.

Gore

Dear Diary... Journal

I've been thinking latley. Can I really stand to do a Pirates 4?? I do indeed love working on these MOVIES but the people, that's a different story, but I told you all about that in my last entry, so we'll move on.

The term, Willobeth, has now been plastered in both men and womens bathrooms where were staying- in red lipstick. Many questions may arise... but first and foremost, obviously its sadsack because he's so deperate, why on earth does he have red lipstick?? When I commented about him having the possibility to wear makeup because of his "tan" I was KIDDING- and besides, that color red is NOT his color. That Orlando Bloom sure makes me wonder.

If we do decide on a Pirates 4 that means all the auditions for the other people we bring on will start. I gotta tell you, we get more crazy teenagers who are "Johnny Depp's #1 Fan" than real actors... not sure where that guy get's so many fans. Oh wait-- it's Johnny Depp-- disregard that last statement.

I think I might stab Keira with a fork. God bless her for haveing a career in acting- you know, where you don't act like yourself. Or man-- the world would have a bad things coming. She's crazy. Pure crazy... and annoying, but that's an understatement.

Well it's time to get back to work.
Until later,
Gore

lmao!!

loved it !!!

lol!

willabeth though mate.. willabeth..