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Two cops.

Two december the 25th 1988s.

Two destinies.

Who is the best at christmas...?

Martin Riggs (without his sexpartner Murtaugh)

Or

John McClane...?

Best...at?

...Xmas.

Celebrating?

The whole thing.

What whole thing? Elaborate.

Christmas.....whos better at it...?

Riggs. He has Rog's family as his own, he can celebrate with them.

McClane has Lucy, John Jnr, Al Powell, the ear of his faithful bartender...and whenever he so much as speaks to Holly on the phone at xmas, there are epic battles and terrorists die....and when he kills them, he invariably themed his remarks around Xmas.
("Ho-ho-ho-now I had a machine gun" and his joking with two freshly shot corpses about looking for Santa Claus in the Aquaduct in DH3.)

Lets face it, Jinglebells are constantly emmanating from McClane in the 1st two movies. THATS how xmassy McClane makes it.

Yeah. Lucy hates him. John is questionable. Al'll spend the whole time eating twinkies.

Watch Die Hard 4.0.

She no longer hates him.

You may be right about Al though.... but Im betting that he is a turkey fiend too.

Lets see. Riggs has Mr. and Mrs. Murtaugh, their three kids, his wife, their kid, Leo, the Captain. Nine people who love him like family. Curbstomp. Add in that Lorna is way hotter than Holly, epic curbstomp.

Ahhhh but this is speculation.

Onscreen feats only.

What did I post that wasn't onscreen?

"We're family!!!"

Pwned.

Read the OP.

Pwned.

Ah, Riggs still has Lorna, his kid, Leo and the Captain. Not to mention Butters and Murtaugh's family. Next?

Nah, you're forgetting if Riggs goes to Murtaugh's house, he's going to pedophile-tough Murtaugh's underage daughter; the cops will be called; he'll be taken away.

Now sure how Xmas was in your house, but pedophilia, cops showing up and arrest would ruin it for me.

Mhm, because he totally nailed her in the movies. Right.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Mhm, because he totally nailed her in the movies. Right.

It's obvious to anyone who paid attention, that he wanted to. There'll be eggnog, he'll get tipsy (cuz he's a drunk like McClane), inhibitions will fall and children will be touched. It's inevitable.

Originally posted by Robtard
It's obvious to anyone who paid attention, that he wanted to. There'll be eggnog, he'll get tipsy (cuz he's a drunk like McClane), inhibitions will fall and children will be touched. It's inevitable.

Absolutely.

The PONR in the drunken build up to the critical mass of child touchery will come about when he starts ranting something about the jews causing all war.

Then he'll attempt to steal her shoe, fill it with wine before drinking it in front of photographers..

Originally posted by Robtard
It's obvious to anyone who paid attention, that he wanted to. There'll be eggnog, he'll get tipsy (cuz he's a drunk like McClane), inhibitions will fall and children will be touched. It's inevitable. She came to his trailer, dude, and left untouched. he had the perfect chance to nail her then.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
She came to his trailer, dude, and left untouched. he had the perfect chance to nail her then.

He did have the perfect change and wanted to, but he was also sober. See my eggnog comment. Children will be touched during Xmas, if we mix Riggs and alcohol. Guys a pedophile. /fact

Riggs never f*cked Rianne. Am I wrong? Or was she just knocked up by Chris Rock?

Originally posted by Impediment
Riggs never f*cked Rianne. Am I wrong? Or was she just knocked up by Chris Rock?

no riggs didn't f*ck her

Originally posted by Impediment
Riggs never f*cked Rianne. Am I wrong? Or was she just knocked up by Chris Rock?

They never knocked boots, but he definitely was shown wanting on screen.

I'd hit it.

Originally posted by Impediment
I'd hit it. ****in' eh, kudos to Riggs for holding back.

Originally posted by Impediment
I'd hit it.

When she's older, fur sure. We're talking about the first film, while she's still a kid; that's when Riggs wanted her, after she grew up, he lost interest. The pedophile.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
****in' eh, kudos to Riggs for holding back.

She was 16 years old and he was in his late 30's.

Rianne was still hot in LW1.

I'd still hit it.

.....And then deny it in any way possible.

Originally posted by Robtard
He did have the perfect change and wanted to, but he was also sober. See my eggnog comment. Children will be touched during Xmas, if we mix Riggs and alcohol. Guys a pedophile. /fact

He was obviously trying to work up the courage to let it all hang out in LW1irectors cut.

He was shown picking up underage girls off of the streets, where he'd tell his potential victim to watch TV with him as he decides whether or not to go through with it. He bottled out, the time shown onscreen, by the looks of it.

Also that scene could be read as the death of Riggs interest in woman, as he washes his arsehole for Roger.

Originally posted by Robtard
When she's older, fur sure. We're talking about the first film, while she's still a kid; that's when Riggs wanted her, after she grew up, he lost interest. The pedophile.

More evidence.

Originally posted by Robtard
She was 16 years old and he was in his late 30's. I was referring to the latter movies, like 3.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
I was referring to the latter movies, like 3.

Yeah, sure.

Originally posted by Robtard
Yeah, sure. Assumptions and assholes, all that stuff.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Assumptions and assholes, all that stuff.

I think the saying you're thinking of has to do with "opinions and assholes", son.

And yes, both your opionions and your ******* generally stink.

Originally posted by Robtard
I think the saying you're thinking off has to do with "opinions and assholes", son.

And yes, both your opionions and your ******* generally stink. The saying goes both ways, assumptions and opinions, assholes, everyone has them.

You're a helluva nice guy, how's that for an assumption?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
The saying goes both ways, assumptions and opinions, assholes, everyone has them.

You're a helluva nice guy, how's that for an assumption?

Uncharacteristically correct of you in your assumption in that one instance, RJ.

Guess it had to happen one day.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Uncharacteristically correct of you in your assumption in that one instance, RJ.

Guess it had to happen one day. What happens in the MVF stays in the MVF, dude. I dont let petty arguments about fictional movie characters affect my feelings on individuals, especially ones like Rob, who has gone out of his way for me while asking for nothing in return.

Yet you talk to him like hes shit.

Like you talked to Imp like he was a piece of shit.
(He defended you several times in the past in the face of some crazy shit)

Yeah so? It happened in the MVF, and to me, that's where it stays. Shit happens, I deal with it, I roll on. The word "dwell" doesn't exist to me.

Hence the 12,345,823rd page of the HP Palpatine thread, The sideswipe thread, the 501st thread, the numerous Riggs threads etc, right lol

I stood alone in the HP thread, big deal, I have an opinion and am sticking to it.

I wasnt alone in the SS or 501st thread, nor the Riggs threads.

You were, in the end, in them.

As were the others, and yourself.

You misunderstand me, I meant "you were alone in them in the end".

I apologise if that wasnt clearer.

Just because I was posting in the end? The others still share the same opinion they had then,

Nah its that you couldn't see sense/reason, whereas everyone else did.

Like recently, for example.

You done? This is getting rather boring.

Ironic that we all were wondering that about YOU in so many threads, huh...?

K. Done? Get it all out now, I know you need shit like this to go on.

Not really "needing it to go on", per say....

You can override your "Must have the last word" mentality anyyyyyytime you want to.....cant you...?

Can you? Cuz no, you never keep going on and on and on, do you? Nah, you are the epitome of calm, the eye of the storm, right?

Im calmer that YOU, dude.

I knew you were gonna say that, nihlist.

I had to renounce my former Nihilism, since taking up the belief that you are almosty always wrong.

Sure I am. Tell me something, how do the Clones get past the shield charm around Hogwarts? Hmm?

With orbital cannons/heavy artilery/weapons of science.
Using a death star (An onscreen feat) to destroy the planet'll do.
Destroy the ground underwhich the spell infected area covers, and the shield will be a non issue as everything above wthat point would be sent into orbit.

Still 'til that spell is scientifically explained, you most definitely cant be sure that heavy blaster fire wont annihilate it.

Simple tricks are no substitute for a good blaster at your side.

The Clones didnt have a Death Star. Nothing the Clones had will get past the shield charm, deal with it.

"ALERT!! ALERT!!! REPORTING A FAILURE IN THE GIMP SYSTEM..!!!"

Aerial bombardment with Star Destroyers should suffice.
Hell Flying a few Kamikaze star destroyers into your bumchums, should alleviate the peodophile problem in that region for a while.

And you sure, can prove the star destroyers can beat the shield?

BTW there were no star destroyers in the thread, thread starters choice.

I can prove that it is 90% likely............ Can you state, with that degree of certainty that they cant...? No. You cant...can you...?

...if stopping deatheaters is all you shield feats are, Id say its time to throw a shrimp on the pile of dead wizards on the barbie.

Nice, pass the buck. Everything the death eaters could have thrown at the shields would have failed, dude. What makes you think some turbolasers will trump it?

Buck passing...? read my post again.

Their massive destructive yield, how many there'll be firing away, and all shield require power that must drain eventually.

Thats what'll get the killing done.

Now....'Til you can provide in HP movie confirmation that this magic shield silliness even works against the weapons of the SW universe, you owe the debate an explaination of how you assert with conviction that they cant....

Im all ears. This should be good.

Its magically enchanted, magic spells dont drain like batteries.

Real world proof...?

How does the shield harmonics/resonance frequency get shifted, where are the controls which tell these shields what to block...?

Cause if its "just someone said so" stuff then my dick is magically enchanted as far as Im concerned.

But I still dont think my dick could stop a fleet of Star Destroyers with full crew and troop compliment from getting the wizards.

(You've probably tried yourself though eh...? )
And on that jokey note, merry xmas.

Wow. You just took clueless and ignorance to new heights.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Wow. You just took clueless and ignorance to new heights.

Ironic that I can spell "cluelessness" then, whilst you clearly can't.

How ignorant of you..... Get a clue, clue boy.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Ironic that I can spell "cluelessness" then, whilst you clearly can't.

How ignorant of you..... Get a clue, clue boy.

Choooo Choooooooooo goes the train.

Prrrrrrrrrrrppppppt prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppp-pt-pt-pppppp goes the magic speaking schincter.

slurp slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp goes sadako MccLane. Slurp slurp swallow, yum.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
slurp slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp goes RJ at sadako MccLane. Slurp slurp swallow, yum.

Pervert.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Pervert. For telling it like it is? Hey, McClane called, Al's coming over tonight, you better make sure you got plenty of rouge on.

Nah you used it to camoflage the wizard crust round your face, and deep in your gullet.

Camoflauge.

Obvious typo.

Not like not being able spell 'cluelessness', when trying a pwnage with the word.

Besides you misspelled "Wizard fondler" when you picked your very inapproriate SN, didnt you...?

Typo? More like McClane, Al's and Zeus's love juice are blurring your vision, how was the bukkake?

It was low quality, and your face was blurred in some of the shots.

Ive seen better, frankly.

Nothing in my eyes... you're the one who cant seem to see the moronity of some of his arguments.

I knew it. Someone who disagrees with you is a moron. Brilliant haermm

It happens occasionally, it would seem...with some more than others.

And since you brand everyone who disagrees with you on here a moron all the time, you can enjoy a nice big xmas helping of STFU, hypocrite.

Again, their opinion of me matters to me....why?

Originally posted by Robtard
and children will be touched. It's inevitable.




That's soooo wrong...but I shamelessly lol'd on my end.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Again, their opinion of me matters to me....why?

Dunno. It probably doesnt. Thats why all your myopic/naive posts are all so fearless of being contradicted things like logic, common sense, physics, onscreen feats and the myriad of other things show that you are wrong.

Anyways..

Who wins on xmas soundtracks...?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Dunno. It probably doesnt. Thats why all your myopic/naive posts are all so fearless of being contradicted things like logic, common sense, physics, onscreen feats and the myriad of other things show that you are wrong.

Anyways..

Who wins on xmas soundtracks...? DH, no contest, Run DMC seals it.

And christmas SUV usage...?

Thats not a song.

Yeah The Lethal Weapon boys take that one, dont they...?

The weighty object jamming the accelerator trick....

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Death by surfboard, nuff said.

Wrong incident.
Wrong movie.

Lethal Weapon 2.

Yep the incident I referred to was LW1.

And? Splitting hairs again I see.

Its called "accuracy".

A concept that totally alien to you, I know.

I was talking about all the LW movies, babe.

What you admit that the SUV/vehicles in general usage is even more than the DH movies, finally...?

Yay for tacet admissions!

Did I deny that? I was just saying that death by surfboard is cool.

The multitudes of time you have mocked McClane for his SUV usage to fill a ninja chick's ass...yeah you denied it.

Difference, Mac had his ass handed to him by a girl. Riggs was going H2H with a damn truck.

And he handed her ass back to her, then drove a car up it.

Mac wins.



Or arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you now saying that the win over Gary Busey at the end of LW was disqualified because of the Car-through the wall distraction technique by Riggs..?


Also Ninja chick was better/faster than Busey.

Ninja chick was tailor made for Riggs. He would have killed her with his HANDS in less than a minute.

She would have killed HIM with his own hands.

She would have needed her hands free to hand that ass back to Riggs.

Shoulda woulda coulda?

Nah more "he made her redder, deader."

Not h2h he didnt.

He did actually. He knocked her the f**k out.


He had to press on with saving the eastern seaboard, she recovered enough for round two, then when she tried to stop him saving said eastern seaboard, he killed her. End of.


The LW boys are the reallllllllllllllllll vehicle abusers and shortcut to victory assed practioners of cheatey ways to barely win fights..

Oh yeah, Riggs cheats by killing people with his hands instead of an SUV, what was I thinking?

Ahhhh but howwwwwwwwwwww did he get himself in position to disarm and capture Joshua...?
The car through the wall trick.

Ergo, he used to car to defeat Joshua.

And hoooooooooooow did McClane survive the end of DH4?

By shooting through himself like a bad motherf***er.

No. Farrell saved him.

After he saved Farrell ALL THROUGH that movie.

So in a sense, he saved himself.
Besides, no Murtaugh/Riggs fan should EVER talk about people saving people's asses.

McClane was done, finished, he was spent. Had it not been for Farrell, he woulda been KIA.

Thats silly RJ. If it Farrell hadnt been there, McClane wouldnt have been there in the first place.

Riggs was way more pussyesque at the end of lethal Weapon 1,2 and 4.

Just before his salad tossing partner Murtaugh would intervene and save him.

haermm Nice, way to dodge the point that Mac relied on a computer geek to save him haermm

Any geek is as good as any other if he has that gun.

But at least he doesnt always have a longstanding compulsory ass savings account with someone like certain Riggses we could mention.

Right.

Al, Marv, Zeus, The wizard and Farrell.

Yeah cause theeyzz all the same person ans stuffz......duhhhh.


No movie hero operates in a vacuum.....

But Riggs abuses this rule to the hilt.

Mac has his life saved twice. Once by Al, once by Farrell.

Riggs has his life saved twice, both by Roger.

Kinda evens out.

No. Seriously.... its way more than that.

Its a "buddy partner genre" movie, against a "lone wolf/loose cannon" movie.

Noooooooooooooooooo comparison.

Right, because they totally snogged and stuff.

Yep.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzbOuQ6Hom0

Lame.

There are numerous sweaty man hugs throughout that saga and you know it.
The ending of LW2 being an obvious one.

Phobe. Like Mac hugging Al?

Phobe...?

How..?


Are youre a logicphobe.

No, RJ not at all like that.

Phooooooooooooobe. Phobe phobe phobe.

Of........?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Of........?


Spiders...n'stuff.

Originally posted by dadudemon
Spiders...n'stuff. And...........





































Wait for it....................









































Magical spells!!!

*Trumbone sliding riff*
Wahhh-wahhhh-wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

Topic.

It's an inside joke, babe.

Then its best kept inside.

Like you? In the closet?

Dont expect everyone to live as you do.
Im a different person than you.

(As if anyone here is a regular patron of the blue oyster, its definitely you.)

See? Phobe.

k

Whateverz.

I'll let you get back your fisting/felching.

Can I borrow your ironing board? Its right behind you in the closet.

Get it yourself whilst youre in there..

Mind the mothballs.

Mothballs...?

They in the rubbers compartment of your purse, Susie...?

No, you put them in your frilly white dress.

Nope not mine.

Must be the one you wear when you scrawl lipstick hatefully on your face and fist yourself whilst crying out Harry Potter's name at the mirror.

Aw, whats wrong? McClane neglecting you?

No. Actually hes not even required.
I have no germans needing killing.











































However its time to take that "Wand" from your bottom, (Change its "batteries of eternal power" later) take off the hat and the crazy lipstick, and go make yourself a sandwich.

K, Holly.

There did it feel better...?
You can probably walk better and cast spells better now, cant you?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
K, Holly.

Ahhhhhhhhh yuletide greetings to all..

The jingling of Michael Kamen soundtracks beateth merrily down upon our ears once more.

*Raises glass to Turkey, Eggnog and gunshots and explosions in 80s LA...*