Writing a script? (spoilers?)

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allofyousuckkk
So I decided I'm going to write a script for DH and send it to JKR and David Yates. I think I could do a pretty good job. Any ideas as to how to go about this, where to send it and what parts to deffinately not leave out?

Soljer
laughing laughing laughing

allofyousuckkk
I wouldn't say it was funny.......

~KoK!~
They hire scriptwriters guy, they don't just take scripts people submit. That's not how Hollywood works.

This thread is pointless. Reported for closure.

allofyousuckkk
I dont see why they wouldnt take a look, I don't think it's completely out of the question at all, personally. This is a serious thread and has no reason to be closed

The Phantom
PUT IN THE PART WITH MCGONAGAL RIDING THE DESKS YELLING "CHARGE!"

Also the part when Mrs Weasley jumped into the fight with Bella yelling "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU *****!"

Put those two things in the movie and I'd give it two thumbs up.

scurran
Originally posted by The Phantom
PUT IN THE PART WITH MCGONAGAL RIDING THE DESKS YELLING "CHARGE!"

Also the part when Mrs Weasley jumped into the fight with Bella yelling "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU *****!"

Put those two things in the movie and I'd give it two thumbs up.

Deffinately two things that shouldnt be cut.

DarkC
Which page was McGonagall's charge on in the American version?

jasonowens4200
dont you know how to put a spoiler in you want to talk about everyone else get a life and anyways about the topic yeah i think this should atleast be a 3 hour movie they need to put everything from the book in the movie since its the last one whats it gonna hurt

allofyousuckkk
p...I dont see anything about her being on a desk tho.

allofyousuckkk
Scene one:
Two men appear on a deserted street. For a second they point their wands at one another and, realizing they know eachother, hastily stow them.They walk up to the door of Malfoy Manor, and knock.

Voldemort: Enter
Both men enter the house to find a group of death eaters sitting in a circle. Snape sits next to Voldemort.
What news do you have for me?

Snape: My lord, the Order intend to move Potter to a safehouse this Saturday night. It is unlikely that they will have help from the ministry, which they suspect we have infiltrated.
Some of the death eater laugh (not loud, just...chuckles)

Voldemort: And you, Macnair*, did you complete your task?

Macnair: I have succeeded in placing the imperius curse on Thicknesse, he is now in our complete control.

Voldemort: This is a good start. Soon enough the minister will be unkowingly surrounded by our people and I will be able to set the plan in motion.

Snape: As for our connections in the Department of Magical Transport, we will be able to kn-

Voldemort: The Order will not use a traceable way of transportation. They are aware that portkeys and the Floo network are being closely watched. He will be forced to move in the open. He is a sitting duck.
A person unconcious floating in the center of the circle stirs.
I shall need a new wand for when I face Potter. Lucius, I see no need for you to have a wand any longer.
Lucius is shocked

Lucius- My lor-

Voldemort: Your wand Lucius. I have noticed you are very hesitant lately and do not seem to be ready to devote yourself fully to our cause. Does my presence displease you? Perhaps, it disturbs you?
Lucius hands his wand to Voldemort.

Lucius: I am fully devoted my lord. I would nev-

Voldemort: Liesss.
He continues to hiss until a giant snake comes and rests on the corner of his chair.

Bellatrix: We live to serve you. We are all pleased that you have chosen to reside in Malfoy Manor.
Voldemort gives a slight, appreciative smile.

Voldemort: Severus, do you recognize our guest?
Snape gives an affirmative nod
Draco?
Draco looks at Voldemort but remains silent.
For those of you who do not know, this is Charity Burbage, who recently taught muggle studies at Hogwarts. She has



*Changed from Yaxley to Macnair so as to not have to introduce new characters

The Phantom
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
p...I dont see anything about her being on a desk tho. True. It didn't actually say where she was positioned. It just seemed more plausible she was riding the desks all freaky-deaky than running along with them with a chance of tripping on the robes.

allofyousuckkk
pg 644*

Arianna
page 644 doesn't exist... I think it's cool idea to write the script because I think the warner brother ones are pants! JKR lives like a five min walk from my house, I can PM you her address if you ask nicley.

exanda kane
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
Scene one:
Two men appear on a deserted street. For a second they point their wands at one another and, realizing they know eachother, hastily stow them.They walk up to the door of Malfoy Manor, and knock.

Voldemort: Enter
Both men enter the house to find a group of death eaters sitting in a circle. Snape sits next to Voldemort.
What news do you have for me?

Snape: My lord, the Order intend to move Potter to a safehouse this Saturday night. It is unlikely that they will have help from the ministry, which they suspect we have infiltrated.
Some of the death eater laugh (not loud, just...chuckles)

Voldemort: And you, Macnair*, did you complete your task?

Macnair: I have succeeded in placing the imperius curse on Thicknesse, he is now in our complete control.

Voldemort: This is a good start. Soon enough the minister will be unkowingly surrounded by our people and I will be able to set the plan in motion.

Snape: As for our connections in the Department of Magical Transport, we will be able to kn-

Voldemort: The Order will not use a traceable way of transportation. They are aware that portkeys and the Floo network are being closely watched. He will be forced to move in the open. He is a sitting duck.
A person unconcious floating in the center of the circle stirs.
I shall need a new wand for when I face Potter. Lucius, I see no need for you to have a wand any longer.
Lucius is shocked

Lucius- My lor-

Voldemort: Your wand Lucius. I have noticed you are very hesitant lately and do not seem to be ready to devote yourself fully to our cause. Does my presence displease you? Perhaps, it disturbs you?
Lucius hands his wand to Voldemort.

Lucius: I am fully devoted my lord. I would nev-

Voldemort: Liesss.
He continues to hiss until a giant snake comes and rests on the corner of his chair.

Bellatrix: We live to serve you. We are all pleased that you have chosen to reside in Malfoy Manor.
Voldemort gives a slight, appreciative smile.

Voldemort: Severus, do you recognize our guest?
Snape gives an affirmative nod
Draco?
Draco looks at Voldemort but remains silent.
For those of you who do not know, this is Charity Burbage, who recently taught muggle studies at Hogwarts. She has



*Changed from Yaxley to Macnair so as to not have to introduce new characters

That's not a screenplay. If you plan on writing a screenplay, good luck to you, but you need to look at a hell of a lot of them before you attempt your own. Judging by this effort, you have never seen a screenplay before and try not to entertain the delusion that it may be read. But as I said, good luck to you.

Arianna
allofyousuck, I will help you, my mum used to write screenplays and not just little ones, she had one playing a solid 4 years in London, and like I said JKR lives 5 minutes away so I can give you her address if we get it to a good standard... PM me.

Everyone stop being so negatife!

The Phantom
Originally posted by Arianna
page 644 doesn't exist... I think it's cool idea to write the script because I think the warner brother ones are pants! JKR lives like a five min walk from my house, I can PM you her address if you ask nicley. 644 doesn't exist? The book is 759 pages long.... what, did they skip one?

Arianna
My book only has 607... then 3 blank ones?

The Phantom
o.o Strange... U.S. version has 759.

exanda kane
The British copy is 600 something. The yankee one is longer; bigger writing for their little eyes etc etc and also has a pathetic artwork.

The Phantom
Originally posted by exanda kane
The British copy is 600 something. The yankee one is longer; bigger writing for their little eyes etc etc and also has a pathetic artwork. Again with the jokes on other countries. Please stop.

Arianna
The American one has pictures?

The Phantom
For each chapter...

exanda kane
Originally posted by The Phantom
Again with the jokes on other countries. Please stop.

What? Dramatic license, I found the solution to your problem, eh? wink

But why is the type bigger in the American copy? When I first found an American copy of the Philosopher's (not a balmy Sorcerer or anything!) in the US I was a bit taken back at how childish it all looked. No wondder the Christian fundamentalists declared it heresy.

The Phantom
Originally posted by exanda kane
What? Dramatic license, I found the solution to your problem, eh? wink

But why is the type bigger in the American copy? When I first found an American copy of the Philosopher's (not a balmy Sorcerer or anything!) in the US I was a bit taken back at how childish it all looked. No wondder the Christian fundamentalists declared it heresy. One, I think more children in the US read it than the ones in UK. Just my thought. Two, I'd prefer the name Philosopher's Stone than Sorcerer's. Why? Because it is the actual name used in alchemy.

Arianna
There are more children in the US to read! And I think more children here read it because in primary school most classes read it for story time. But in some states you weren't allowed to read it at school because of churches.

The Phantom
Either way, what does it matter the sizing of the letters. Some of us have bad eyes, so it is more or less good for people with bad eyes. Can we at least stop making fun of countries?

exanda kane
Oh come on, can we not take every little dabble of humour so seriously. It should have ended with my little stab. End of. roll eyes (sarcastic)

The Phantom
It's so hard to tell these things online though. -_- Another case of me overreacting. Sorry.

Arianna
I think it'd be cool to have pictures, i'm a bad reader pictures might help, plus give me more angle for my own! As for the print being bigger, you can get small print in the UK with the locket on the front? So technically our big print is the normal copy and then there's the small print and the american is the big print. Is that right?

The Phantom
I dun need pictures. I pictured the entire thing in my head as I read and that's why everything seemed so strong. The deaths. The time Ron ran out. At times I wanted to just stop reading because I could see what was about to happen and started panicking because I didn't want it to happen and have to see it.

But that's besides the point.

Arianna
No I can imagine it all, but I can't keep on the words, my totally dyslexic and the words take a while to become a word I know and then the words all need to become sentences so millions of pictures form in my mind while all that's happening, but actually having pictures in the book would give my brain a rest from all the words!

The Phantom
Originally posted by Arianna
No I can imagine it all, but I can't keep on the words, my totally dyslexic and the words take a while to become a word I know and then the words all need to become sentences so millions of pictures form in my mind while all that's happening, but actually having pictures in the book would give my brain a rest from all the words! That would drive me nuts.

Arianna
Lucky you don't have to noticed each and every word!

(And even words that aren't there...)

The Phantom
Originally posted by Arianna
Lucky you don't have to noticed each and every word!

(And even words that aren't there...) The thought interests me. I would want to have that for about.... 30 minutes just to feel what it is like and see what happens and everything. After that, I'd be annoyed and learn braille. I hope I spelt that right.

Arianna
How would braille help? You still couldn't understand the letters? I always thought chinese might help with the letter order but then there's still the words... It's kinda cool because I can remember parts word of word.

allofyousuckkk
1. Pictures give you an idea of what something looks like in the following chapter
2. How would I go about fixing this into a screenplay
3. Imma pm arianna

Arianna
My mum had a book called "Screenwriters Oracle" which had all the camera directions in it.

By the way I don't want to give you false hope I'm just saying it's a good idea.

allofyousuckkk
I know, but worst that can happen is they dont use it....

exanda kane
There's some pretty decent computer software for writing scripts, allows the writer to focus on the narrative rather than what the shorthand for voice over is.

§P0oONY
I'm simply going to ask, why the **** are you bothering? Writing a screenplay of a book that has already been confirmed as a film, which is going to have a superior screenplay than yours, written by people who actually know how to write screenplays is a pointless and stupid task.

allofyousuckkk
Well, looking at the past 5 films, I reallydon't think they are superior to what I could have written. That is why "the ****" im bothering.

~KoK!~
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
Well, looking at the past 5 films, I reallydon't think they are superior to what I could have written. That is why "the ****" im bothering. It's going to be superior. And if it's not, at least theirs is going to be used, and they'll be paid millions to have it used. Which means they're more successful at script writing.

Either way, you fail.

The Phantom
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
Well, looking at the past 5 films, I reallydon't think they are superior to what I could have written. That is why "the ****" im bothering. I'm sorry. I've seen scripts. That... was nothing.

exanda kane
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
Well, looking at the past 5 films, I reallydon't think they are superior to what I could have written. That is why "the ****" im bothering.

If you coulda...you woulda roll eyes (sarcastic)

jasonowens4200
and the small part you wrote you got wrong snape wasnt the one that said anything about transportation it was yaxley so its pointless for you to write it if you dont know it a 100%

Arianna
Leave him alone, if he works a bit at it he'll pull off something which might look like a screenplay and as much as it might not get used he can use the stuff he's learnt to make his own screenplay.

The Phantom
Originally posted by jasonowens4200
and the small part you wrote you got wrong snape wasnt the one that said anything about transportation it was yaxley so its pointless for you to write it if you dont know it a 100% Can someone say adaptations?

jasonowens4200
of course you would be the smartass to say something about that but wouldnt snape know the order since he was in it wouldnt use that means of transportation know the ministry has control over it and wouldnt want to sound like a dumbass in front of voldemort

The Phantom
Originally posted by jasonowens4200
of course you would be the smartass to say something about that but wouldnt snape know the order since he was in it wouldnt use that means of transportation know the ministry has control over it and wouldnt want to sound like a dumbass in front of voldemort Excuse me. You are very rude in your post. Please speak politer to your fellow members. You little prick

allofyousuckkk
I didn't add Yaxley bc there is no point in adding a new character. I cut out the stuff from the beginning about them not knowing hwat day the drop off was bc it is wasted time in the movie.

And I think so far all the scripts have been poorly done with much important stuff left out.

The Phantom
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
I didn't add Yaxley bc there is no point in adding a new character. I cut out the stuff from the beginning about them not knowing hwat day the drop off was bc it is wasted time in the movie.

And I think so far all the scripts have been poorly done with much important stuff left out. That can be easily debated.

exanda kane
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
And I think so far all the scripts have been poorly done with much important stuff left out.

No, quite frankly. The important stuff is there.

allofyousuckkk
In my opinion, the movies were all poorly done and had a lot of room for improvement. DH is my favorite, and I don't wanna dislike the movie, which I probably will.

I'm not gonna turn this thread into a debate over who liked what movies, so if you plan to be negative, please don't post.

Barker
I think this should be moved to the Fiction Forum, but I also think that anyone bashing allofyousuckkk, simply because he's doing his version of the script, is being highly immature. Seriously, grow up.

~LunaLoveG~
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
So I decided I'm going to write a script for DH and send it to JKR and David Yates. I think I could do a pretty good job. Any ideas as to how to go about this, where to send it and what parts to deffinately not leave out?

Do not listen to the people posting. it is good trying. they would have no problem looking at your script at all.



someone hates americans erm

I personally like the artwork..but I prefer the adult covers

Charlie8
Well good luck to you, but I can't see it getting made. Like you said worst that can happen is it don't get made which is very true, but the layout for your script isn't exactly correct and script writing is a lot harder than people I think. It's hard work, it takes a lot of time and can be a tedious progress. Good luck to you though, no point in being negative I suppose.

Arianna
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
In my opinion, the movies were all poorly done and had a lot of room for improvement. DH is my favorite, and I don't wanna dislike the movie, which I probably will.

Exactly! In my opinion they seriously need to look at the director, script writers and producer. I think Jerry Bruckheimer for production would seriously elevate the film and HELLO! JKR has finished writing the books, she could write much better scripts as for the director... *shrugs* I think the guy from the 3rd film was the best so far, but I prefer artsy movies.

Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
And I think so far all the scripts have been poorly done with much important stuff left out.
I think you're right heaps of important stuff has been missed out, so they're going to have to leave some of that stuff out of the DH film which will suck and possibly not make sense...

exanda kane
Originally posted by Arianna
I think Jerry Bruckheimer for production would seriously elevate the film and HELLO!

What!? Bruckheimer? You're actually serious? A man responsible for both some of the most exciting and also the blandest production in the last 50 years shouldn't be trusted with Harry Potter.



I sincerly doubt Rowling could right a better script than a succesful screenwriter; sure, she knows the story, the characters, the narrative, but a script is a lot more limiting and liberating at the same time, than a novel.



Out of all the directors to have touched Harry Potter, Alfonso Cuaron has the most creditionals...so are you contradicting yourself or is there something going on implicitly I cannot see? You say you want Bruckheimer production, then an arthouse movie? (You said you prefer them) Are those two notions blatantly juxtaposed?

I am sorry to nitpick like this, but reading your posts I felt propelled to action, frankly, because it annoyed me.

jasonowens4200
Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
I didn't add Yaxley bc there is no point in adding a new character. I cut out the stuff from the beginning about them not knowing hwat day the drop off was bc it is wasted time in the movie.

And I think so far all the scripts have been poorly done with much important stuff left out.

yeah i know but it could another death eater that says it thats already ben in a movie and OotP was the longest book and the shortest movie yates wanted it to be more phsycologic b/c if harry was a real person he would be a severly damaged kid and thats what he thought was what was the most important thing in that book
and for phantom im not prick and im only rude to you because you're a loser and you can keep running your mouth but thats not gonna do you any good because you wouldnt be able to back it up so it dont matter to me what you say

The Phantom
Originally posted by jasonowens4200
yeah i know but it could another death eater that says it thats already ben in a movie and OotP was the longest book and the shortest movie yates wanted it to be more phsycologic b/c if harry was a real person he would be a severly damaged kid and thats what he thought was what was the most important thing in that book
and for phantom im not prick and im only rude to you because you're a loser and you can keep running your mouth but thats not gonna do you any good because you wouldnt be able to back it up so it dont matter to me what you say Again with the member bashing. Tsk tsk tsk. This may get you banned one day.

miss_swann
Originally posted by exanda kane
I sincerly doubt Rowling could right a better script than a succesful screenwriter; sure, she knows the story, the characters, the narrative, but a script is a lot more limiting and liberating at the same time, than a novel.

Having never actually watched any of the harry potter movies because I knew they'd take the magic of the book away, I think the reason Arianna said JK was because she knows the story and characters, as aposed to somebody that didn't know what was coming next.

exanda kane
Which really defeats the object of a screenplay.

Surreal_44
Originally posted by The Phantom
Again with the member bashing. Tsk tsk tsk. This may get you banned one day.

Would it get you banned too? I seem to recall you insulting the person you are addressing numerous times. As someone who works with the mods on this forum, I'd expect better behavior from you.

The Phantom
Originally posted by Surreal_44
Would it get you banned too? I seem to recall you insulting the person you are addressing numerous times. As someone who works with the mods on this forum, I'd expect better behavior from you. I don't work with the mods.

jasonowens4200
finally someone speaks up its not fun when the finger is pointed to you

The Phantom
Originally posted by jasonowens4200
finally someone speaks up its not fun when the finger is pointed to you Why didn't you do that in the first place? I know I do it. Doesn't mean other should. And I also do it because I'm also the first to be attacked.

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