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Yes, probably better than Bond girls in the fact that they are more than simply a plot device ripe for pantomine!

Just to clarify -

Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood (Raiders of the Lost Ark & Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)

Kate Capshaw as Wilhelmina 'Willie' Scott (Temple of Doom)

Alison Doody as Elsa Schneider (Last Crusade)

Elsa's got my vote

Elsa for being sexy, Marion for being first love. A bit like Leia vs. Padme in SW.

Get out with the Star Wars anaolgies! Those words shalt not be spoken here!

Why not? Lot of the same creators.

Because Indiana Jones it better.

Hmmm.... ToD - ESB.... I think ESB wins.

I think it does too. Madness eh. You could use that analogy for Return of the Jedi and have it lose to Last Crusade. Then we have the prequels, oh dear the prequels. No, Indiana Jones beats it, and the predictability of referencing Star Wars is a rookie mistake Class A.

Don't let me get Mark Ruffalo out 'ere.

That sounds scary.

Well, I do believe that without SW there would be no Indy. There would however be Highroad to China 1, 2 and 3...

You've ruined the brilliance of Indy by already mentioning SW, so yes, I can say without SW there would obviously be no Indy.

You've turned it all off topic and I am immune because I have Mark Ruffalo gunning for my team.

Turning stuff off topic is what I do. Thanks for the compliment!

Hmm, you do have a point there. You destory even the best threads.

*Cue Paltrow Oscar moment*

....nope, the tears just aren't coming...they just aren't coming!

Originally posted by exanda kane
Hmm, you do have a point there. You destory even the best threads.

THank you, thank you... took years of practise.

Even though she was the least hottest. I always liked Karen Allen.

It's probably because the original is my favorite.

Elsa was awesome, but she ended up screwing Indy over, so I'm going to go with Marion.

Willie isn't hot, isn't smart, isn't even nice.

She's blond.

so is Elsa, who also has a brain. If she hadn't been a femme fatale, I would have just adored her. As a blonde myself, we need more smart role models!

Try dying your hair.

Marion gets my vote. Looks AND personality go a long way.

True. I chose Elsa for hotness only.

'Tis forgivable.
















































But you'll hate yourself tommorrow when Elsa burgles your house and sells your bank information to the nearest bidder..!!

But the stories I could tell...

....about how she managed to conceal the lampstand about her naked person...?

Good one.

Mind you, having thought more about it, Marion'd drink you out of house and home. And she'd be the last one standing all the time!

I mean, you could try taking her out for drinks, but if you were buying, you'd soon be bankrupt.

Indeed.

I'm going to have to go with Elsa, just because she was awesome enough to get the better of Joneses.

Elsa for hotness? Marion would have been, you know, dirty...

You like dirty?

I think Elsa was the finest acted character, but Marion seems to fit Indy's character with the best chemistry to me

Very true, she was a good match for Indy.

Elsa
I like the style and look of women from that "period" of Germanys history.

Oh... you're that kind of guy.

Elsa with wet hair looking pissed off did it for me personally

She is the hottest for sure.

I liked her biting Indy as well. She can do that to me.

She likes older men though.

I'll pretend to be older.

that sucks bawling

"It breaks the heart."

"...and the head."

Marion Ravenwood or Willie.

You like Willie? You like a screamer?

~~**She's BLOND?**~~ Sweet Mary Michael....she's sleeping with her boss!!--not attractive, not impressive oh my!! She did produce a beautiful child who is an actor.

Elsa--naw, woman who sleeps with dad and son, iffy morals and in general unattractive.

Which brings us to the real and only winner in this vote: Marion--remember that night on the freighter, there isn't anyone on this planet who can wear a white tulip skirted bias-cut satin gown like Marion...she has energy, a sense of humor, faith in her man, she cleans up nice, can be rode hard and put up wet, she is resourceful, fearless, loyal, loving, and she can drink and swear like a sailor--And she's aged rather gracefully all things considered. All this is in my humble opinion--worth exactly what you paid for it.

Originally posted by texgodiva2s
~Elsa--naw, woman who sleeps with dad and son, iffy morals and in general unattractive.


As long as the sex is good..

Amen.

Do we know for a fact Elsa was wonderful? She's the one who tells Indy HE was wonderful? She seems like the type that would just lay there.

Henry will say she's wonderful because I don't think he gets to tap a lot of ass that often.

Marion? She'd be a tigress.

Who the hell voted for Willie?

I think a nazi girl like Elsa might be very hot in fiery in the sack.

Hope you have Aryan-enough features for her then!

I'll simulate....

Originally posted by willofthewisp
Do we know for a fact Elsa was wonderful? She's the one who tells Indy HE was wonderful? She seems like the type that would just lay there.

Henry will say she's wonderful because I don't think he gets to tap a lot of ass that often.

Marion? She'd be a tigress.

Who the hell voted for Willie?

LOL Not me. I can assure you.

I was all for Marion, and yes, in Raiders she was a fiery little minx, she'd eat ya alive, no doubt, but in KOTCS she became a doe-eyed stepford wife like a bad advert for valium.

I'd get the impression that the most full on thing Marion Ravenwood gets up to by the end of the fifties, is knitting or flower arranging, instead of busting a glass or bottle over the head of some enibriated Nepalese local.

What a waste of a return.

Good point.

Ooh, tough call on Marion in KOTCS. I liked the movie, but I kind of agree with you. She didn't get much of a chance to do anything tough. I guess they were trying to show that having a kid and getting older softened her a little, but she should have at least gotten to try to outdrink someone or shoot a gun. Moms are not passive. If she were portrayed realistically and true to her character, she would have gone all mother-bear on the Soviets for messing with her kid.

Scene parallels TLC when Indy does the "don't call me Junior" bit and shoots the Nazis in the castle.

Indy: I can't believe you let them capture you!

Mutt: Mom, mom, mom, mom...

Spalko: All of you will die if you do not help us.

Oxley: Blabber blabber...

Spalko: If you will stop arguing long enough...(takes gun and points it right at Mutt) Maybe now you filthy Americans will do what we say?

Marion: I told you... (kicks guy and takes his gun and kills Spalko) don't call my family filthy!!!!!!!

(Indy gets boner)

Good call.

And that'd scenario's end would give John Williams the excuse he needs to cue a filthy wah-wah soundtrack.







I must say though. I'm impressed with the social conscience message now installed in the movies:

"If you sleep with people unprotected, an annoying LeBeouf like son might come find you one day and push you out of your own life for the financial sakes of some already rich people."

Marion. She is gorgeous, and she pulls off the action bits better than the other two.

Was gorgeous, you sick puppy.

The only action she was given in Indy IV was maybe planning the odd coffee morning or maybe some meetings at the PTA...!!

Still cant get over that waste.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Was gorgeous, you sick puppy.

The only action she was given in Indy IV was maybe planning the odd coffee morning or maybe some meetings at the PTA...!!

Still cant get over that waste. Well, she did drive during the jungle chase scene.

And her performance in Raiders, when Indy is fighting the big German, that was awesome.

No doubting her in Raiders.

She could just have easily been driving that truck in TAOS to pick up some diapers for Mutt.

Dude, she was driving through a jungle while under machine gun fire, point blank from the hot mind reader, remember?

Nahhhh..... It was all CGI... namby pamby stuff.

Give me the days where she'd dangle and fall 45 ft into a pit of snakes
any day of the week over anything seen in KOTCS...

Besides, was "she drove a car" enough to compensate for her "Marion Ravenwood on Valium, Ketamine and Ecstasy" like screen prescence that felt like a general letdown after all these years....?

Remember the wedding scene RJ......

Remember the wedding scene........

Details haermm She is still the best Indy girl.

Agreed.

I love the part where the big German hits Indy for the first time, and Indy's legs buckle and he goes down haermm

Elsa's the hottest, Marion the best.

agreed. Elsa looks like she can suck a crystal skull through a water hose.

Well that'd be easy: The skull is from the spaces betweeeeeeeeen spaces...

haermm

It think in reality that "the space betweeeeeeeen spaces" must have referred to the chasmic interior of the script writer's skull.

Or to GL's state of mind these days.

Yep it'll also be referring to a big gap on Shia Lebouf's resume for interviews for that McDonalds job. 'Cause even if I was applying for work there, I'd be too ashamed to admit that I was in this garbage to think mentioning it as a draw for the would-be employer.

Even then if any of my co-workers were to find out who I really was, I'd have to leave.

Honestly.....space between spaces.....what a bunch of toss.

I hope that that scriptwriter goes to get his pay cheque and finds that it is in this "space between spaces" that he rants on about onscreen..... And I hope he gets uppercutted by a "fist between fists" also.

Koepp? I doubt it though.

Well I hope that his resume from this point on will read "hope of employment in the movie industry between hopes of employment in the movie and industry" and that his word processor has a fire too.....
Just to make sure..........

He did write some proper stuff too.

Did he...? Why did he do TAOS then...?

TAOS ??

Yes....
The shorter, snappier and generally more honest title:

Indiana Jones and The Aliens Of Shit.

I guess GL threatened to rape him.

I would have thought that anybody who would released dialogue and 'plot' (for want of a better word) like that would have the mental capacity to even register the threat....

So when SS and GL. presumably holding him at cash po... erm.... I mean gun point were like:
"Write us a movie, Ho! Or we'll wear your ringpiece as a necklace....!!",
he probably thought they were talking about giving him a bag of jelly sweets.

Which was ample payment for the job he did in the first place. Maybe he thought it was a joke and he wrote a joke script. Who'd know they'd actually turn it into a film.

LOL

That must have been precisely and exactly what happened....!

Let the annals of history reflect this for all time.

You think that's why Koepp won't give interviews anymore?

Must be.

Logic dictates that it could be the only way.

I hope so for his sake.

Hehehehee

*Muted, muffled squealing noises reverberate from the Cellar*
(No its not an Austrian cellar, although it may as well be...)

Sounds like one.

What was that gag...?



"Austrian diary found in a cellar...
The entries read:

Monday: Stayed in.











































Tuesday: Stayed in.























































Wednesday: Stayed in.







































Thursday: Stayed in.






























































Friday: Stayed in....






































































....but at least I got a shag."

"Indiana Jones and the house in Vienna that has that door no one talks about"

Indiana Jones and the Basement of Incestuous Doom?

With an Joseph Fritzel as an Austrian Mola Ramm..?

Can he do that rip-out-the-heart thang...?
Ummm num shibaiiiiii Unmmm von shibaiiiiiiiiiii...!!!

I think he'll rip something else out.

ROFLMAO

And then market it as "Sausage"..

Indiana Jones and the Bratwurst from Hell.

Indiana Jones and the burger that they didn't tell him was part dalmation.

You mean Indiana Jones and the Meat that goes Woof

Yup. The meat that until recently said Woof but now says ecky ecky ecky...ni.

No, tapang zoooo wong.

I couldnt remember.

Well done.

TY, I know them all.

I did once but its been a lot of time.

Im gonna have to get the Pythons out again.
No doubt about it.

You need it after Indy4

Never a more true word spoken.
For it nearly destroyed my ability to laugh.

South PArk helped though.

It was the first to nurture the barely-smoldering-anymore ashen ruinous remains of my heart and sense of humour.

It fanned it to a small spark which that will be a small flame again soon thanks to the approaching Python..

My... it's hot in here.

Yes. To sustain the fire I have thrown 7 copies of TAOMFS.

They burn quite well.

You've been making Lucas and Spielberg even richer by buying 7 copies?????????????? OMG! You've gone insane.

Nahhh. I made 6 copies of the original and then burned them.

Both to stay warm and also to avoid any crime.

So you actually burnt the original? I don't believe you.

Of course.

I never bought it.


I was just dicking about.

No, you have all versions, I know it. DVD 1disc, DVD 2 dis, Blu Ray.. ADMIT IT!!!

Thats deformation/libellous...!

I could never own such rancid, rancid poop.

But you do, yes you do.

But I paid not a bean for it.

You let your wife or daughter buy it, eh? You devil.

Heh..nope..
Even if I had a wife or daughter, they would soon not exist again very suddenly were I to have got that on Xmas.

F**k, I wouldnt tolorate that from a combined Megan Fox and Jessica Alba 4 way lezz off with both Minogue sisters.*


Oh well...Place to self and all the more energy for geekdom/DVD malarkies and ranting as well as the music...












* Sadako reserves the right to utterly go back on that judgement should the situation actually occur, naturally.

So you hide you TAMFS DVD's even from yourself.

I hid it in your PM box.

Thats why I cant see it.

Those fiends'll never win.

I get it now.

Yes.....and I was STILL ripped off...!!!



That doesnt even count the cinema ticket money.

Hehehe... I will keep it as a monument of Big Money Rape... it's not a pretty sight, but the whole world should be able to witness the atrocities Hollywood moguls are able to commit.

Do you have it framed ready to unveil at vomit parties...?

Only with selected groups.

Ones that you like to have vomitting on the floor, yet not the ones who vomit on the walls...?

ESpecially for groups that have parties at their own homes.

Ahhhhh house raves and the like.

Only with weird gopher themes.

Those furry little creatures had better hope that Richard Gere isnt at this party.

Gere??? Why? Will he go and meditate with them?

Yes.

In he feels that as part of the meditation, that the gerbils or whatever would be more relaxed in his bottom.

At least I think that the reason he apparently let them run up his bum in a tube, anyways.

Fluffy butt plugs eh?

Yes... that squeak.

Not to judge, but its disgusting.


























But its not ALL the gerbil's fault....




But really, honestly, when a man cant hold a tube to his ass without a rodent brutally violating him over and over like that, well........Its a sad mark of the times.





Im beginning to think that thats how the Gophers got into hollywood, and subsequently, Indy IV .

The Tubes of Hollywood: The Book that reveals the Truth about Movie Moguls
by S.of Girth.

LOL

It'll have to named "Professional scumbags".

Too crude... it'll never sell.

Well go with your title then...

At least that looks elitist. We can ask Charlie Kaufman to write the script.

Unless you prefer Quentin Tarantino... then your title is better.

Indy "Blood fist" Jones lol

Hmmm ... Indiana Jones and the Inglorious Bastards... Sounds good.

It does.

Hopefully, it'll be a good film, unlike Death Proof.
That was a pile of self absorbed piss stained panty liners with identical characters/ dialogues all written with the same "QTattitude dialogue(c)(tm)". 2hrs too long, that movie, Im afraid.

I hate it. And I rooted for Kurt Russell all the way, only to be denied justice at the end. I dont care WHAT he was paying homeage to, Planet Terror ruled it from a very high and aloft ruling platform.

I love his other stuff, but that film sucked so hard that it basically is a black hole.

Not even the light of a Kurt Russell role could escape its gravasuck..

I agree. Tehre was quite a bit of self indulgence: "see what great dialogues I can write". But two half movies with endless dialogue about nothing isn't very good. It had some good segments, but the good segments didn't really add anything to the real Grindhouse type of films.

Planet Terror on the other hand.... RULEZ!!! That actually did play around with the genre a lot. Plus it had a fairly decent plot, dark bizarre humour (like the anesthesized hands) and great finds (like the missing reel - brilliant!).
Rodriguez all the way.

Amen to that.

Awesome.Awesome.Awesome.

Superb.

Well, maybe Tarantino will strike back with Inglorious Bastards.

Fingers crossed.

If not... hmmm.... dunno...

Then he will be awarded both the 'M.Night Shyamalan deceased career' award and the '2009 overly self referencial hack' award.

Thats a good night at the awards.

Hahaha, good one.

Shyamalan only made one good pic I think... 6th Sense.

And I kinda forgive Unbreakable too.

But otherwise his films, you can put every last cool/redeeming bit in the trailer... (there are the odd cool bits in all his movies)


....and the trailer'd STILL be too short.

Nice moments do not sustain whole movies, much less careers of legend status.

UNreakable was okayish, The Village was okayish, Signs was okayish... But okay don't a good movie make.. Lady in the Water was... odd. His own part in that ludicrous.

Exactly, which ever way you slice it, he is well overrated.

His hardcore fans are coincidentally, morons.

I bet they dress up like the creatures from The Village.