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Hey guys.

First off, let me just say that I have high hopes for "Indy IV". Whilst the trailers haven't really given too much away, I am confident that Spielberg, Lucas, and Ford would not have decided to finally make this film (especially after so many years in development) unless they felt that it would be a worthy addition to the franchise. I intend to stay away from any early reviews as much as possible, but in deciding on this, an interesting thought crossed my mind - in essence, a kind of "what if?" scenario ...

Imagine, if you will, that the film is previewed over the coming days, and is universally slammed as a piece of total and utter garbage, with critics proclaiming it to be a wholly unworthy and unnecessary addition to the franchise. In response, Steven Spielberg decides to give the fans the ultimate choice: that he release the film as it is, come what may ... or destroy the only existing copy, thus preventing anyone else from ever laying eyes upon it ...

So then ... what would you decide? If the film was said to be truly awful, would you rather that it never be released (perhaps by sealing it away in a "Raiders"-esque warehouse ), thus preserving the original trilogy as it is, or would you see it regardless? A completely hypothetical scenario, of course, but I'm keen to hear what you guys think ...

I would still like to see it. The trio worked hard to put it together, so I would be inclined to at least check it out.

I'd still want a release. It'll encourage a younger generation to watch Indy, even if it is crap, and that is always a nice thing to see.

It has a lot less at stake than the Star Wars Prequels though - even if it is poor they could probably shrug it off as a homage to the B movies of the 50s, whilst Star Wars ultimately got wrapped up in its own mythology and lost that excuse. Also, anything with Harrison Ford is be default awesome. Yes, I'm including Firewall.

I'd still watch it a couple of times. Tehre are very unwatchable Spielberg films. Even Lost World is still a bit entertaining.

yep, as long as i feel the need to watch it as regulary as the other 3, then i'm satisfied

Well given that it's critics saying this I'd pay no mind to it. Ebert bashed Predator, critics are for the most part pompous idiots. So bring on Indy IV

they're the kind of critics who walk in looking for an excuse to hate it -find one, then play havoc with it!

And after that the good ones become classics. Not all movies they bump are good though. Sometimes they are right.

Originally posted by queeq
And after that the good ones become classics. Not all movies they bump are good though. Sometimes they are right.
Yeah, they can't always be wrong.

Just as an addendum to my "what if" scenario ... what if you found out that the film is literally just Harrison Ford, sitting in a chair, and reading the phone book from A to Z for over 2 hours (the film's marketing revealed to be a massive, expensive lie)? Would you still see it then ?

Bah ... enough with my negativity; bring on the film already . Thursday can't ... get here ... fast enough !

officially 1 day over here - especially for the midnight screeners'

Some must have sene it by now. I have to wait till Friday...

Bump !

Hey guys! Haven't posted here in a good long while now; nice to be back .

Hmmm ... now that the dust has settled on "Indy IV", I wonder if some people still wish that, as my original post proposed, it had never seen the light of day? Whilst I very much enjoyed it, I am fully aware that it has split opinion right down the middle. Even for those of you who didn't really think much of it, are you still glad that the film was (finally) made? Or do you wish that the series had been left alone after Indy's "Last Crusade"?

they could have made this one, an older indy is interesting in itself... but the whole story should have been done better...

Yup

Out of interest, Queeq, what did you think of "Indy IV"? I'm sure you've said so in other threads, but I've been away from the forum for the past couple of months; I'd be very interested to know .

I thought Ford did a good job, so did Shia. I liked the first 20 minutes. Unlike most I wasn't bothered too much about the fridge. I disliked the gophers spiders and monkey scene intensely. But my major disappointment was how they handled the story arc. Indy is about a McGuffin and a good ride. KOTC is about the content of the McGuffin, which contradicts the whole concept. In othere words: Raiders is about retrieving the ark, ToD is about retrieving stones, TLC is about retrieving the grail, KOTC is about aliens (and less about retrieving.... well, err... guess they're retrieving knowlegde i.e. the content of the McGuffin). So the whole chase doesn't work as well and we have to settle for the bloody aliens. A major mistake we, objectively, have to blame Lucas for since he rejected Darabont's script which WAS about the chase.

And Speilberg for going along with what he must have known deep down was a shit idea.

For someone so anti nazi as he is, it would be poor form of S.S to turn round and use their old "I voz only following orderzzzzzzzzzzzz" excuse.

His name was on the credits for his deeds- he was jointly responsible and could have jumped ship at any time (maybe getting sued) he liked but chose to stand by it/make massive money off of it.

Unfortunately.

Its sad that making such codswallop is rewarded with money in today's society. Thats why I cannot buy the DVD. As for the completionist in me, it knows that there were only 3 true Indy movies released and therefore the trilogy is complete.

If I get bored with looking at the empty space next to the trilogy, and feel tempted to buy it ever, instead of monetarily condoneing the rape of Indiana Jones, instead I'll do the right thing....

(Get an empty DVD case, defaecate into it, and close it, and placing it neatly on the shelf in Indy IV's place)

It wouldn't make much difference... it's cheaper though.

....and it'd keep the flies off of your copy of the new Clone Wars.

Yesssssssssssss...Search your feelings............ you KNOW it to be trueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

It's not that hard to believe that.

One reviewer on youtube renamed the movie based on what they SHOULD have called it..

Im going with his rebrand.








Therefore from now on, it will be known to me as "TAOS":





























(Indiana Jones and 'The Aliens of shit'.)

Wish I'd thought of it.

Damn.

You have the shit in your sig. You still tuned in.

S is happy.

S happens.

A lot?

I guess...

S is as S does.

I thought as much.

Yip.

*Stretches*

Yessireebob......

Did you get INdy5 yet on DVD? I know you did...

5...?

Was there in reality another movie even worse than IV,
so bad that my memory has blocked it out entirely...?

Sorry , Indy 4... my mind is going too.... SPIELBERG< WHAT DID YOUDO!!!!!

I know.

I share your pain.

We should sue.

Good idea. Maybe we can force them to reshoot and recut.

Shooting and cutting is something they must have done to the script writer half way through writing this garbage.

I still believe Lucas is to blame here. Not the writer.

I still blame the writer.

And Spielberg.

Remember that Even Hitler didn't do what he did alone.

This atrocity was required to be half Spielberg, no mistake and it was lame writing that had Indy getting married, battling with and alternately helping the poorly scripted villians and dialogue and the trie, disposable plot/situations/traps I guess..

True, they are accomplices to the deed. No denying. But I did feel Darabont's script was a a lot better and Lucas was the only one who rejected that and wanted this.

Fair play.

I know.

And now I know you know.

But did you know that I knew that you knew I knew...?

I don't know anything. I just work here.

So you say.

I did.

I know.

Good for you.

And you.


And for everyone.

If it's good for me, it's good for everyone.

And for me.

You're part of everyone.

Can I invite you for a Blu Ray viewing of TAOS?

Why certainly. It has been six hours since I last puked blood and Im feeling the urge to, yet I need that fatal catalyst...

Oh, you will get one.

The ultimate multi speakered, 1080 interlaced nightmare..!

You have to strap me down and put eye clamps in, drugging me ala 'Clockwork Orange' in order for me to not kill alll and escape (without the aid of any animated animals).

I will though. I'll be watering your eyes myself.

Then I'll just have to remove my eyes Sam-Neil-in-'Event Horizon' style, just prior to the screening...

Might still be able to hear Chipmunks babbling though, and the CGI Simians making their prescence felt too with their oo-oo-oo noises etc.

Might still be able to hear even the vines creaking as they swing....
Oh the horror..!!!

I'll let you have break with Burn before Reading then... but only a few minutes.

A merciful kinda torturerer then, eh...?

But wouldn't that only heighten the comparative horror of TAOS..?
Thusly inducing more agony that way...?

Indeed.

Pure evil.

Thanks.

You could have a packed bill of that, the Matrix sequels, Bay's Transformers and Indy IV, Pearl Harbour.... The supporting films could be any generic hollywood remake of something like "The fog" or "The eye".........

It would definitely result in a massive suicide-cult for perceptive film goers.

New torture style: Pearl Harbour in slomo... so it lasts longer. Guantanomo Bay will be empty in no time.

LOLZ From all the suicides, if anything.

Even the screws in that place would had to rip their eyes out and eat them just to stay sane.

Unless they were the sort of person who actually likes movies that are like the filmic equivalent of the kind of agony that could only otherwise be attained from blow torches being used on their genitalia, of course.

Which would be pure blessing compared to watching that film in slomo with someone who actually likes it.

My mind will not terrify itself by attempting the imagine that kind of mortal horror....

I'll keep reminding you then with the mental picture of Ben Affleck in that film.

...and of the Bayness.

Which is all over.

*Contemplates such filthy saturation.*

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

*Attaches noose to own neck and jumps out of a hi-rise window.


....setting himself on fire too.*

That won't be enough.

True.

*Burns every copy of KOTCS and PH left in the world before said self destruct*

It's gonna be a while before you're gone then. Want coffee?

Thanks, but no.

It might dowse the flames.

(And we cant have that. )

Okay then... I'll make some popcorn then and watch you for a bit.

It so spectacular, you could be a Michael bay film.

My self immolation will be a blatant military promo/recruitment drive..?

Man even on www.seibertron.com (Big TF site) they had running promos and schemes involving the US military recently.

Some serious deal must have been struck by Bay with them.

I bet... General Bay

Heh. Wouldn't be surprised, they way they are so publically romancing each other.. But that dance is a paid-for kinda date, making Bay a ho', and his shitty versions of TFs his little whore puppets..

I bet you have all his films.

Kept in a special whore-puppet boxset.

Its outer case is made of polished faeces.

That reflects it's content fairly accurately.

I tried once setting fire to it but its poo-laden exterior shielded it against the blowtorch.

Doesn't poo burn very well?

Not Bay grade filth.

Its the shit that never dies/flushes.

Ah, the stuff that sticks to the ceiling and you need a jackhammer to have at least a chance of getting it off?

The very same.

Thats shit should be used by NASA to keep tiles on space shuttles with.

So that's why Bay keeps making films.

Yep: A secret ambition to enter the poo-textiles business.

Once the aliens get wind of that, we'll be in real trouble. But I'm sure the US will just consider them another export market.

well I just went to the last page and all I see is poo and popcorn...what if? run away!!!

Originally posted by Jack Daniels
...and all I see is poo and popcorn...!


That was like an extremely concise and accurate review of any screening of this movie.

I was more trying to joke using monty python...run away!!!guess thats for us old folk wheelchair just bought that one on vhs by the way...lol

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a Holy Grail reference...!!!

A good buy, it has been out on DVD for ages though...!
Bad Zoot..! Baddddddddd Zooooooot!!!! lolz
And now you mention it, I always thought that the Nazis in The Last Crusade would be lacking a 'Holy Hand grenade', so the knight of the grail should have had that guard Rabbit from the Python movie and set it on them.

It certainly lacked an amount of kerrniggits as well.

Indy versus the Black Knight would be a good laugh...!

Knight after having his head whipped clean off: '"Tis but a fleshwound"

I fart in your general direction!!! I gotta watch that again soon...

Your father smelled like elderberries.

...and your muzzer was an 'amsterrrrrrrrrrrr....

I fart in your general direction.

"Come back 'ere you yellow bastard..!! I'll bite your legs off..!!!"

There are those who call me.... Tim?

*Silent but for the clip-clopping of coconuts*

(That were possibly carried by an african non-migratory swallow)

What is the average air speed velocity of an african swallow?

With or without carrying a coconut...?
To maintain velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings four hundred and ninety three times every second.... right?

What.... is your favourite colour?

Blue.

















































































No..!

Its Yel-- Arrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh....!!!!

Blue...!







































































NO...!!!


Its Yell-arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh....! blowup

Now go away or I will taunt you a second timuh...

She is a witch..!



Burn her..................!

Behold the holy handgranate.

We are the Knights who until recently said.... ni.

We are now the Knights who say Eki eki eki tapang zuuu-wong.

LOLZ Classic

Now fetch me a shwubbewyyyyyyyyyyyy....!!!!

Bad Zoot!

Yes! Bad, naughty Zoot....!!!

It has occurred to me that with the approach of the sixties, the possibility of Mutt being written off as killed in Vietnam exists.

Lucas did it to that guy in American Graffiti, and it worked with the David Marcus character in Startrek II and III, so why not save the franchise and Shia LeBeouf's career by eliminating that rancid character in a historically believable way...? No Shia LeBeouf screen time neccesary, just a scene informing Indy by mail or personal visit would do....

It doesn't have to be Vietnam either. Plenty of dangerous activities going on back then he could fall foul of... It could darken the tone back previous Indy movie dramatic tension levels too.

Vietnam eh? Then we'd really see Indy go search for his mummie in a wheelchair.

Yep.

Which would be as degrading to his dignity as the bad slapstick that he was forced to perform by the credibility-rapists in control of that movie.

SQUEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!!!!!!!!!!!

MEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeee

Eheeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeee

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerry Xmas.

And a happEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEE-EEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYy new year.

Well, at least TAOS is giving us great laughs.

A lot of humor in hatred...

hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate

You're sure you're allright?

Im not sure.

This time of year is a biiiiiiiiiitch.

HAve you secretly been watching TAOS again? It's time you face facts and accept that it's painful.

LOL

I KNEW I shouldn't have watched it that second time....

My psyche might actully be screwed now.

A third watching could only result in Ox-like madness.

Undoubtedly. So be sure to watch it with an adult next time.

Make sure the peeps you invite to watch are not too clever. they may end up enjoying the evening.

Yep not to worry, I'll invite the Labour party round. They'll love it.

Brown'll love the gophers.

I bet.

David Milliband may think that its his toupe on screen.
And he'll think that it's squeak is portrayed innaccurately.

Milliband??

It cannot be natural hair. Its a CGI gopher, methinks.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Miliband

Aha.... Lucas' CGI model reveals himself.

Some have suspected a large rat to be living directly south of that Gopher....

The whole world must know about this...

"When CGI attacks": Next week on Sky One.

Fans rise in revolt.

Yes KOTCS was indeed very revolting.