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I thought this would be an interesting and insightful topic.

Post some stories of your most awkward moments having sex. If you have the balls to do it. http://r30.imgfast.net/users/3013/11/32/39/smiles/1742136542.gif

Well, you know how sometimes you can get really into it, and kind of forget where you are?

Well it was like that, and I remembered I had pizza left over from earlier. I stopped suddenly, looked up and shouted "PIZZA!"

Embarrassing at first, but we just both started cracking up laughing so it was all good

Tbh that's the only really embarrassing thing I can think of mmm

Originally posted by Scribble
Well, you know how sometimes you can get really into it, and kind of forget where you are?

Well it was like that, and I remembered I had pizza left over from earlier. I stopped suddenly, looked up and shouted "PIZZA!"

Embarrassing at first, but we just both started cracking up laughing so it was all good

Tbh that's the only really embarrassing thing I can think of mmm Sounds like something I would do.

There was that time my cat jumped on my back and kneaded his claws into me while I was going to town.

A woman was giving me a blow job and told me to tell when her when I was gonna cum.

I tried to tell her, honest.

It's just this darn speech impediment of mine.

It was such an awesome blow job that I just couldn't utter the words "I'm coming" without stuttering.

She got a mouthful and walked out of the room pissed off.

I just went to the kitchen to get myself a beer.

True story.

Originally posted by Impediment
A woman was giving me a blow job and told me to tell when her when I was gonna cum.

I tried to tell her, honest.

It's just this darn speech impediment of mine.

It wa such an awesome blow job that I just couldn't utter the words "I'm coming" without stuttering.

She got a mouthful and walked out of the room pissed off.

I just went to the kitchen to get myself a beer.

True story.

Was this woman your wife?

No. My wife can't suck a dick to save her life.

This was when I was in the Army. Said woman later shipped to Korea soon afterward and I never saw her again.

I had some girls ferret climb into the bed and start licking my rear end. I just went with it because I was distracted at the time.

Originally posted by Stringer
I had some girls ferret climb into the bed and start licking my rear end. I just went with it because I was distracted at the time.

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c166/Impediment/something_zps01b11cde.jpg

Having my GF wake up and find me making out with her best friend.

getting my ex pregnant

(always wear condoms so not too much chance of that)


not really but i was having sex in a seculded part of the sherwood arboretum (a big ass park) and i was having sex with my partner. turns out less then 15 meters away there was a young couple having a picnic. didnt notice them until they left

I wonder if they noticed you guys?

Originally posted by Impediment
No. My wife can't suck a dick to save her life.

That's tragic.

they did

Originally posted by NewLanceWindu
That's tragic.

I know.

I eat her out all of the time and she tells me that I'm amazing.

She can't take time to practice, though.

Originally posted by Impediment
I know.

I eat her out all of the time and she tells me that I'm amazing.

She can't take time to practice, though.

I got lucky with my wife. She's an expert.

30 to 60 seconds of sucking and then I hear this "Ow! My jaw hurts. I need to stop!"

Get back down there, jaw bone, and work those muscles!!!

I was fingering my ex with her pet snake stuck in her bra, it woke up, and she had to put it back in its cage.

I also fingered my other ex while th ex with the snake was in the room, she left looking very depressed (Both of these were at least a year apart.)

OH, WAIT, LEGIT GOOD ONE!

Okay, so me and my ex Jenn were outside her house, she was giving me a BJ, and suddenly, her sister's family comes over and even though he didn't see it, her husband gave a weird look in our direction. My ex is covering my dick and she plays it off "OH, hey, what's up??" ...And after all that, she still wanted to attempt to give me one in the house, I wasn't even close to cumming :/.

So I was having sex with my friend right? And then his grandpa opens the door and says something about a peanut butter sandwich and he was just standing there in the door way looking at the end of the room. So my friend whispers to me. "Sometimes he sleep walks" so my friend gets up and walks him back to his room still naked... It was okay though my friend gave me an awesome orgasm

Originally posted by Spawningpool
So I was having sex with my friend right? And then his grandpa opens the door and says something about a peanut butter sandwich and he was just standing there in the door way looking at the end of the room. So my friend whispers to me. "Sometimes he sleep walks" so my friend gets up and walks him back to his room still naked... It was okay though my friend gave me an awesome orgasm I would've had a heart attack if my friends grandpa walked in on the action... omg

Awkward... When you know it's in but don't feel a single thing

Originally posted by Morning_Glory
Awkward... When you know it's in but don't feel a single thing

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-08/21/18/enhanced/webdr04/anigif_enhanced-9065-1408660463-7.gif

She looks ****ing cool

Not in that shit outfit. haermm

Originally posted by Morning_Glory
Awkward... When you know it's in but don't feel a single thing

That's just awkward all around...

Originally posted by Morning_Glory
Awkward... When you know it's in but don't feel a single thing http://replygif.net/i/1512.gif

Originally posted by Morning_Glory
Awkward... When you know it's in but don't feel a single thing

Best post in here

That moment when your English teacher wants to have sex with you...... And he is a guy

Originally posted by Spawningpool
That moment when your English teacher wants to have sex with you...... And he is a guy wut

I met someone online for Valentine's day and I ran over only seeing one side of the picture... he was disabled and handy and he lived in a small apartment with 10 cats... he was nice so I talked with him and tryed to leave as soon as possible. His neighbour was waiting by the door laughing at me..as I left.

Originally posted by rudester
I met someone online for Valentine's day and I ran over only seeing one side of the picture... he was disabled and handy and he lived in a small apartment with 10 cats... he was nice so I talked with him and tryed to leave as soon as possible. His neighbour was waiting by the door laughing at me..as I left. How old was he...?

Originally posted by rudester
I met someone online for Valentine's day and I ran over only seeing one side of the picture... he was disabled and handy and he lived in a small apartment with 10 cats... he was nice so I talked with him and tryed to leave as soon as possible. His neighbour was waiting by the door laughing at me..as I left.
HiS name wouldn't happen to be Leonard would it?

Originally posted by Spawningpool
That moment when your English teacher wants to have sex with you...... And he is a guy contact the police awebrow ...unless you're failing english, in which case, i say pursue it.

LOL

Welshy win.

Originally posted by \\W//
contact the police awebrow ...unless you're failing english, in which case, i say pursue it.
Don't have children

Bump.

A few weeks ago my bf and i are going at it and i cum so hard this "hoooooooooo!" noise comes out of me and we start busting out laughing and he says "you really want that train ran on you huh?"

lol

Originally posted by ~Bun Bun~
A few weeks ago my bf and i are going at it and i cum so hard this "hoooooooooo!" noise comes out of me and we start busting out laughing and he says "you really want that train ran on you huh?"

lol

I pronounced that "hooooooooooo!" like Hacksaw Jim Duggan in my head.

Rolling over and asking "Did I ever ask you your name?"

nice

Originally posted by Flyattractor
Rolling over and asking "Did I ever ask you your name?"

wow lol

In my defense that happened at a college party.....and it wasn't the college that I went to.

cant decide between

i looked at my partner (now ex) and said when I was inside her. wait you wanted a condom on right?

or

I hooked up with this guy at a party and we went out for a few weeks, finally we started messing around and he took off his pants, I looked at his 'Wolf' (that's what he called his dick) and just laughed. he was asking what was so funny and I replied "that's what I have been wondering about" and just kept laughing

Getting kicked in the face because I told her to roll over.

receiving oral and seeing a pube between her teeth- I laughed so hard

My only ever 3some and one of them fell off the bed

Amateur haermm

vin

"there were 3 in the bed and the little one said"
"roll over roll over"
"so they all rolled over and 1 fell out"

im still waiting for a post from quan

HAHAHAH HA HAhah ha ha hHA ha haha ahhhhhhhhhhh

god bless you spawns

Originally posted by Piggle Humsy
My only ever 3some and one of them fell off the bed

Amateur haermm

vin I heard that in 3somes someone always gets left out. :mmm:

Originally posted by Genesis-Soldier
HAHAHAH HA HAhah ha ha hHA ha haha ahhhhhhhhhhh

god bless you spawns Can Spawns really bless himself?

he can but you wont want to watch

not always, I was in a threesome once and it didn't feel left out to much, I think its the lack of body on body contact between two people

Originally posted by Genesis-Soldier
"there were 3 in the bed and the little one said"
"roll over roll over"
"so they all rolled over and 1 fell out"

Oh god. That's one of the songs on a CD we have playing on loop in my daughter's room. It gets so annoying, but she loves them.

i try,

Originally posted by |King Joker|
I heard that in 3somes someone always gets left out. :mmm:

Can Spawns really bless himself?
yes

i hate it when i'm lying in bed and turn over and roll onto my phone

I was having sexy times with and Ex of mine. We were kissing and he decided to tickle me.

Well.....I ended up laughing through my nose and blew snot ALL over his face. That ended the sexy times. puke