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The Witch King flys on his Nazgul to the Academy and is immediately attacked by Dumbledore. It is a given that both are beasts of magic. So it's LOTR dark magic vs HP light magic. Who wins this epic battle. Both are armed with standard weapons and spells.

Here's the problem. The Witch King has a "no penis prophecy" if we go by the spoken word; while Dumbledore's may be limp and usable as a piss-pump, he's still a man.

WK was also first weakened by a magical blade specifically enchanted to **** up fools like him before Eowyn's stabbed him in the face.

Well going by the prophecy he would win. The Nazgul would probably just eat him for lunch.

Yes I agree that Dumbledore's sphincter is likely to feel the cold pointy wrath of the Witch Kings blade.

His presence alone puts fear into the hearts of men.

...and sharty, lumpy, stinking yellow brown "liquid" in their underpants.

For many have shat their armour over time, faced with the Witch King.

They don't like fire on their robes though, but the Witch King could just come to battle naked, which would make him invisible.

To be fair and subjective, Dumbledore should be allowed to come to battle naked too. Not naming any names, but I think we know who wouldn't mind seeing some of that action.

Hahahahahha. Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

LMAO

Originally posted by Robtard
To be fair and subjective, Dumbledore should be allowed to come to battle naked too. Not naming any names, but I think we know who wouldn't mind seeing some of that action. Who? mmm

That said, the Witch King is weak. Seriously, the Nazgul are sissies.

Dumbledore sends this ***** running away on fire.

Originally posted by NemeBro
Who? mmm

That said, the Witch King is weak. Seriously, the Nazgul are sissies.

Dumbledore sends this ***** running away on fire.

Can't say, but I'll give yuo a hint: His/Her name rhyms with JogueRedi.

Nazgul aren't sissies, sure they're scared of fire, but even tough guys like Superman and Hancock have a kink in their armor.

Witch King screams and Dumbledore's wand explodes in his old hand. He's done it to larger and longer enchanted lengths of wood.

Originally posted by Robtard
Nazgul aren't sissy, sure they're scared of fire, but even tough guys like Superman and Hancock have a kink in their armor.

Witch King screams and Dumbledore's wand explodes in his old hand. He's done to to larger and longer enchanted lengths of wood. And they have impressive feats to back them up. The Nazgul don't. Aragorn took on five at once and drove them off.

Deleted scenes are not exactly canon. And Gandalf, despite being immensely more kewl and ossim than Dumbledore, is also not all that strong. Dumbledore could take both at the same time.

Originally posted by NemeBro
And they have impressive feats to back them up. The Nazgul don't. Aragorn took on five at once and drove them off.

Deleted scenes are not exactly canon. And Gandalf, despite being immensely more kewl and ossim than Dumbledore, is also not all that strong. Dumbledore could take both at the same time.

With fire, their weakness. Aragorn is also one dope mother****er, if he got the jump on five Supermen with kryptonite, he'd **** them up too. See.

Not deleted, director's cut. Which is the valid cut and not the version the phaggy producers let out due to time restrains.

Originally posted by Robtard
With fire, their weakness. Aragorn is also one dope mother****er, if he got the jump on five Supermen with kryptonite, he'd **** them up too. See.

Not deleted, director's cut. Which is the valid cut and not the version the phaggy producers let out due to time restrains. Dumbledore can conjure fire. Like in Half Blood Prince, when he ****ed up the Inferi. Easy victory for Dumbledore.

Ah, I see. Regardless, Gandalf is weaker than Dumbledore. Magic in LotR is not particularly powerful.

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, the hand cant hit what the eyes cant see"

Witch King sends his dragon thing in form the opposite direction he plans to attack Dambledore from as distraction,
drawing Dumbledore's fire, whilst sneaking up clothesless and invisible behind Dumbledore, slicing him open from arsehole to appetite, Dumbledore's cadaver's wizard guts spewing and pouring out of his savagely ripped open lower abdomen like red sand pouring out of a broken hourglass.

Originally posted by NemeBro
Dumbledore can conjure fire. Like in Half Blood Prince, when he ****ed up the Inferi. Easy victory for Dumbledore.

Ah, I see. Regardless, Gandalf is weaker than Dumbledore. Magic in LotR is not particularly powerful.

Can he do it with a wand that's just exploded in his hands and the turd he just dropped in his knickers?

Yes and no. Let's not forget that Gandalf took down a Balrog and was able to block/counter three simultaneous attacks from three exceptionally bad-ass motherjammers. Aragon, Legolas and Gimli, when they mistook him for Saurumom. Not sure if Daumbledore could have replicated these feats. But overall I'd tend to agree with you.

Originally posted by NemeBro
Who? mmm

That said, the Witch King is weak. Seriously, the Nazgul are sissies.

Dumbledore sends this ***** running away on fire. What has Dumbledore done to prove he's so powerful ? Lotr would annihilate hp in an all out war. It wouldn't even be close.

It took bloody ages to break Gandalf's staff.

f7egAVqmH4Q

Dumbledore puts the fear of fyre in him before he pulls that attack off. Then he transfigures him into a rabbit or something.

Originally posted by Nephthys
It took bloody ages to break Gandalf's staff.

Dumbledore puts the fear of fyre in him before he pulls that attack off. Then he transfigures himinto a rabbit or something.

And that staff is 100x the order of a finger-thin wand. WC probably just has to burp to break it.

Originally posted by Robtard
Can he do it with a wand that's just exploded in his hands and the turd he just dropped in his knickers?

Yes and no. Let's not forget that Gandalf took down a Balrog and was able to block/counter three simultaneous attacks from three exceptionally bad-ass motherjammers. Aragon, Legolas and Gimli, when they mistook him for Saurumom. Not sure if Daumbledore could have replicated these feats. But overall I'd tend to agree with you. Dumbledore wields the Elder Wand, which is no mere wand, and by feats, that dinky little wand makes Gandalf's staff look like a wifflebat.

The Balrog was impressive, sure, but Gandalf died taking it down, although he did do it in a weaker incarnation. Dumbledore would take down the Balrog, and would lolwtfrape Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. Well I mean unless Legolas does something like ride a shield across Dumbledore's stream of fired magic before decapitating Dumbledore with an arrow that hit him in the foot, but that is not the point. Magic in LotR is inherently "Low," a nerdy fantasy term which basically means much more subtle, and less practically powerful. Although it is shown that through long invocations Saruman could create a mountain-spanning blizzard, but that is impractical in a battle.

Originally posted by quanchi112
What has Dumbledore done to prove he's so powerful ? Lotr would annihilate hp in an all out war. It wouldn't even be close. And of course that has absolutely nothing to do with the incredibly massive armies LotR has at their disposal, right?

Originally posted by NemeBro
Dumbledore wields the Elder Wand, which is no mere wand, and by feats, that dinky little wand makes Gandalf's staff look like a wifflebat.

The Balrog was impressive, sure, but Gandalf died taking it down, although he did do it in a weaker incarnation. Dumbledore would take down the Balrog, and would lolwtfrape Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. Well I mean unless Legolas does something like ride a shield across Dumbledore's stream of fired magic before decapitating Dumbledore with an arrow that hit him in the foot, but that is not the point. Magic in LotR is inherently "Low," a nerdy fantasy term which basically means much more subtle, and less practically powerful. Although it is shown that through long invocations Saruman could create a mountain-spanning blizzard, but that is impractical in a battle.


And it's still a magical piece of wood, just slimmer.

Balrog? Probably. Legolas would rape him via arrow to the eye before Bumbledore did one little flick of his wrist.

Originally posted by NemeBro
Dumbledore wields the Elder Wand, which is no mere wand, and by feats, that dinky little wand makes Gandalf's staff look like a wifflebat.

The Balrog was impressive, sure, but Gandalf died taking it down, although he did do it in a weaker incarnation. Dumbledore would take down the Balrog, and would lolwtfrape Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. Well I mean unless Legolas does something like ride a shield across Dumbledore's stream of fired magic before decapitating Dumbledore with an arrow that hit him in the foot, but that is not the point. Magic in LotR is inherently "Low," a nerdy fantasy term which basically means much more subtle, and less practically powerful. Although it is shown that through long invocations Saruman could create a mountain-spanning blizzard, but that is impractical in a battle.

And of course that has absolutely nothing to do with the incredibly massive armies LotR has at their disposal, right? The characters that lead these armies are by far more powerful than the masses they control as well. It all goes hand in hand.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Yes I agree that Dumbledore's sphincter is likely to feel the cold pointy wrath of the Witch Kings blade. Not that he'll complain.

Originally posted by Robtard
And it's still a magical piece of wood, just slimmer.

Balrog? Probably. Legolas would rape him via arrow to the eye before Bumbledore did one little flick of his wrist. Yes I suppose the same way that a 9mm and a Davy Crocket are both projectile-firing hunks of metal, yet the difference is gigantic between them.

This is one time Protego would actually work. Dumbledore's reactions are sufficient enough to place a Protego before the arrow could pierce him.

Originally posted by quanchi112
The characters that lead these armies are by far more powerful than the masses they control as well. It all goes hand in hand. No they aren't. Lolwtf. It took a midget and a single woman to kill the Witch King. It did not take a midget and a single woman to fight back the armies of Mordor. No one being in the films is capable of fighting an entire army alone.

Originally posted by Lord Lucien
Not that he'll complain.
...just what are you saying here, foul Canadian?

Dumbledore is gay.

Originally posted by NemeBro
Yes I suppose the same way that a 9mm and a Davy Crocket are both projectile-firing hunks of metal, yet the difference is gigantic between them.

This is one time Protego would actually work. Dumbledore's reactions are sufficient enough to place a Protego before the arrow could pierce him.

No they aren't. Lolwtf. It took a midget and a single woman to kill the Witch King. It did not take a midget and a single woman to fight back the armies of Mordor. No one being in the films is capable of fighting an entire army alone. They were more powerful than any being they lorded over not the entire army. You misunderstood.

Originally posted by NemeBro
Yes I suppose the same way that a 9mm and a Davy Crocket are both projectile-firing hunks of metal, yet the difference is gigantic between them.

This is one time Protego would actually work. Dumbledore's reactions are sufficient enough to place a Protego before the arrow could pierce him.


While the power output and accuracy will vary between those guns, they'll both melt in a smithy's furnace. See.

Hmmm...

Originally posted by Robtard
While their power output will vary between those guns, they'll both melt in a smithy's furnace. See.

Hmmm... That's ignoring the reason behind why the Witch King could do that in the movie. Because the Witch King's magical power was greater than Gandalf's, it is not greater than Dumbledore's.

Originally posted by quanchi112
They were more powerful than any being they lorded over not the entire army. You misunderstood. Apparently so. Not that it matters.

Originally posted by NemeBro
That's ignoring the reason behind why the Witch King could do that in the movie. Because the Witch King's magical power was greater than Gandalf's, it is not greater than Dumbledore's.


Who says? So the Witch King can't cast a death spell, he instills fear upon those who look at him. I'm pretty sure Dumbledore would be running around like a little pheg too if someone lite his robe on fire.

WC banshee-scream is breaking that little wand and making Dumbledore drop a turd. It's just so.

Originally posted by NemeBro
That's ignoring the reason behind why the Witch King could do that in the movie. Because the Witch King's magical power was greater than Gandalf's, it is not greater than Dumbledore's.

Apparently so. Not that it matters. Since you got it completely wrong in what I meant I'd say it does matter.

Originally posted by NemeBro
Dumbledore is gay.
...And?

I knew that already.