if you had to fight wolverine for real how would you do it?

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marmilado
if you had to fight wolverine for real how would you do it?

carver9
Go to the store and buy some deer meat and throw it at him.

Endless Mike
Lure him into a pit 100 feet deep, then fill it with quick-drying cement

StiltmanFTW
I would free the gorillas from the zoo. He's strong, but not gorilla-strong.









































biscuits

marmilado
Originally posted by Endless Mike
Lure him into a pit 100 feet deep, then fill it with quick-drying cement

and how exactly would you do that without losing all your limbs? erm

Sin I AM
Originally posted by marmilado
and how exactly would you do that without losing all your limbs? erm

t wouldnt be difficult, all you'd have to do is bait him...u can also use extremely lethal doses of tranquilizers shoot his ass, chain him up then dump him in the ocean


im pretty sure he could be hung too

the ninjak
While he's drinking. Electrocute him. And pump enough tranqs to stop 20 elephants.
Bind his arms backwards..especially his hands they must firmly be positioned so the retracting blades can't damage the restraints.
Remove the hands and head. LEAVE NO BLOOD BEHIND.
Put limbs in separate Sulphuric Acid barrels.
Drive barrels to safer locale if the bar isn't secure though destroy all clothes.
Their maybe a tracking device inside his body. Search thoroughly while dicing up and disintegrating every piece of flesh and grind the bones to dust if bone claw if Adamantium leave no traces of flesh.
Keep constant surveillance on remaining parts of the body until you are sure regeneration won't be happening.

You have to be like Dexter no DNA no blood, keep doing more damage to the body than it can handle.

Originally posted by Sin I AM
t wouldnt be difficult, all you'd have to do is bait him...u can also use extremely lethal doses of tranquilizers shoot his ass, chain him up then dump him in the ocean im pretty sure he could be hung too

Logan can survive suffocation. The brain cells do pop and it is extremely painful. But it won't kill him.

marmilado
you think you can hang wolverine? how would you do it without losing all your limbs? do you think you can just shoot his ass? the man reacted to gun fire that was fired by professional hunters and peak humans and you think you can shoot a tranquilizer at him just like that? and even if somehow you manage to hit him with 1 it wont do crap to him since he has a healing factor and before you shoot the second one he is going to cut off your arm

Parmaniac
Originally posted by marmilado
if you had to fight wolverine for real how would you do it? Tear the comic apart

On a serious note, do we have prep time and/or resources?

Sin I AM
Originally posted by the ninjak






Logan can survive suffocation. The brain cells do pop and it is extremely painful. But it won't kill him.


that doesnt make sense, so he can surivive without breathing now?

marmilado
Originally posted by the ninjak
While he's drinking. Electrocute him.
Bind his arms backwards..especially his hands they must firmly be positioned so the retracting blades can't damage the restraints.
Remove the hands and head. LEAVE NO BLOOD BEHIND.
Put limbs in separate Sulphuric Acid barrels.
Drive barrels to safer locale if the bar isn't secure though destroy all clothes.
Their maybe a tracking device inside his body. Search thoroughly while dicing up and disintegrating every piece of flesh and grind the bones to dust if bone claw if Adamantium leave no traces of flesh.
Keep constant surveillance on remaining parts of the body until you are sure regeneration won't be happening.

You have to be like Dexter no DNA no blood, keep doing more damage to the body than it can handle.

Logan can survive suffocation. The brain cells do pop and it is extremely painful. But it won't kill him.

after the after the "Electrocute him" all you said cant be done since he is going to gut you all out after you try to Electrocute him

marmilado
Originally posted by Parmaniac
Tear the comic apart

On a serious note, do we have prep time and/or resources?

you have prep time as much as you want and resources from real life

Parmaniac
Originally posted by Sin I AM
that doesnt make sense, so he can surivive without breathing now? He survived being burned down to a skeleton more than once, him surviving without oxygen isn't the most crazy thing at all in his career.

StiltmanFTW
Originally posted by Sin I AM
t wouldnt be difficult, all you'd have to do is bait him...u can also use extremely lethal doses of tranquilizers shoot his ass, chain him up then dump him in the ocean


im pretty sure he could be hung too

No tranquilizers in the real world that would put him down... and you wouldn't be able to get your hands on the most powerful ones anyway.

Originally posted by the ninjak
While he's drinking. Electrocute him.
Bind his arms backwards..especially his hands they must firmly be positioned so the retracting blades can't damage the restraints.
Remove the hands and head. LEAVE NO BLOOD BEHIND.
Put limbs in separate Sulphuric Acid barrels.
Drive barrels to safer locale if the bar isn't secure though destroy all clothes.
Their maybe a tracking device inside his body. Search thoroughly while dicing up and disintegrating every piece of flesh and grind the bones to dust if bone claw if Adamantium leave no traces of flesh.
Keep constant surveillance on remaining parts of the body until you are sure regeneration won't be happening.

You have to be like Dexter no DNA no blood, keep doing more damage to the body than it can handle.



Logan can survive suffocation. The brain cells do pop and it is extremely painful. But it won't kill him.

Drinking? He'd have to drink large amounts of methyl alcohol without breaks no expression And zapping him would only help him clear his mind for a second he needs to kill you.

What restraints would you use?

How would you dismember him?

the ninjak
Originally posted by Sin I AM
that doesnt make sense, so he can surivive without breathing now?

Yes, Logan has described suffocation as the worst form of assault to survive.
His brain pops. Lungs collapse then they simply just keep healing.
He goes quite savage as well once he finally reaches dry land the experience is quite traumatizing.

Originally posted by marmilado
after the after the "Electrocute him" all you said cant be done since he is going to gut you all out after you try to Electrocute him
I added a tonne of tranqs as well. My method is the best chance a human has grounded in reality.

Originally posted by StiltmanFTW
No tranquilizers in the real world that would put him down... and you wouldn't be able to get your hands on the most powerful ones anyway.



Drinking? He'd have to drink large amounts of methyl alcohol without breaks no expression And zapping him would only help him clear his mind for a second he needs to kill you.

What restraints would you use?

How would you dismember him?

I've seen him drunk. Huge volts of electrictity and tranqs will be enough.

Dismembering would start with the joints between the bones. Head first. Into the vertebrae. Then flay the flesh off the adamantium. Put small pieces of flesh into buckets of sulphuric acid.

StiltmanFTW
Originally posted by Sin I AM
that doesnt make sense, so he can surivive without breathing now?

He is screwed if you trap him underwater, but as soon as someone gets his body on land, his HF will bring him back.

Parmaniac
Originally posted by StiltmanFTW
How would you dismember him? That's actually a question where I would like to get more input, I've heard his limbs are connected with small hooks, so in theory if you have him pinned down and the right instruments you should be able to unhook them.

The question is: Were these hooks ever shown or explained in detail?

inimalist
Logan's resistance to beer is sort of unreliable, no?

what about stuff like LSD?

EDIT: given stuff like that merely works by changing how neurons fire, not by killing brain cells or anything that could be regenerated

StiltmanFTW
Originally posted by Parmaniac
That's actually a question where I would like to get more input, I've heard his limbs are connected with small hooks, so in theory if you have him pinnes down and the right instruments you should be able to unhook them.

The question is: Were these hooks ever shown or explained in detail?

Not hooks. Miscroscopic chains. Heard some editor stated that, but I can't confirm if that's true. No instruments would help here.

Unlike with Lady Deathstrike, Bullseye, ultimate characters or even Sabretooth, adamantium bonding process used on Wolverine was perfect. His skeleton is a one fully functional piece, as we've seen many times, both in canon and some alternate realities.

marmilado
wolverine was pinned down and sadomized so many times by so many villians... you would think if there was a way to do it they would already manage to do it

carver9
Acid would work on Wolvy... large amounts of it but I really wouldn't know where to start at finding it, especially in large quantities.

Konton
Originally posted by inimalist
Logan's resistance to beer is sort of unreliable, no?

what about stuff like LSD?

EDIT: given stuff like that merely works by changing how neurons fire, not by killing brain cells or anything that could be regenerated

I like how you picked one of the few drugs that are nigh impossible to overdose from lol

Anyway, I'd blackmail him.

the ninjak
Originally posted by StiltmanFTW
Not hooks. Miscroscopic chains. Heard some editor stated that, but I can't confirm if that's true. No instruments would help here.

Unlike with Lady Deathstrike, Bullseye, ultimate characters or even Sabretooth, adamantium bonding process used on Wolverine was perfect. His skeleton is a one fully functional piece, as we've seen many times, both in canon and some alternate realities.

I always thought that was bad art. DAMN!

O'K! Electrocute, Drug and Tranq Logan.

Shove long serrated drill bits through his eyeballs into his brain. Mince that brain up. And keep up the good work.

Start flaying the flesh of the bones starting with throat, brain heart ect.
Just melt the rest it will take awhile.

inimalist
Originally posted by Konton
I like how you picked one of the few drugs that are nigh impossible to overdose from lol

Anyway, I'd blackmail him.

I didn't realize we had to kill him

"If I had to fight Wolverine..." giving him strong doses of a drug that will impair his ability to do anything to me, or in fact, may make him less aggressive overall, is probably a good place to start

baby steps stick out tongue

besides, given how many demons Wolverine has in his psyche, maybe a psychedelic would be a fairly strong weapon against him

marmilado
at first i would work 10 years at mckdonalds then i would hire all the UFC strikeforce K1 fighters to fight him at once it would give me enough time to run away then i would go to mexico and he wouldnt know where i am and i would live very well

Parmaniac
Well the main prob is to bring him down that you can start ripping him apart and shit if I would have him pinned I'm pretty sure with unlimited prep time I could eternally incapacitate him. A bit like in the end of Jeepers Creepers 2.

the ninjak
Originally posted by marmilado
at first i would work 10 years at mckdonalds then i would hire all the UFC strikeforce K1 fighters to fight him at once it would give me enough time to run away then i would go to mexico and he wouldnt know where i am and i would live very well

Logan can hunt anyone down if he has your scent.

StiltmanFTW
Originally posted by the ninjak
I've seen him drunk. Huge volts of electrictity and tranqs will be enough.

Dismembering would start with the joints between the bones. Head first. Into the vertebrae. Then flay the flesh off the adamantium. Put small pieces of flesh into buckets of sulphuric acid.

When? Gettin' drunk gets harder and harder for him, so a modern example would be nice. We also need to remember his HF gets taxed from constant battles that he fights everyday... according to the rules he's at his optimal power level, so it's not the case here.

I can't help but see the electricity only helping him shrug it off...

Dozens have tried to cut his head off and failed. Recently Laura and Daken had a conversation about it being impossible to decapitate Wolverine.

StiltmanFTW
Originally posted by the ninjak
I always thought that was bad art. DAMN!

O'K! Electrocute, Drug and Tranq Logan.

Shove long serrated drill bits through his eyeballs into his brain. Mince that brain up. And keep up the good work.

Start flaying the flesh of the bones starting with throat, brain heart ect.
Just melt the rest it will take awhile.

Logan got up after being struck by Thor's lightning.

His brains heals with memories intact every time it gets shredded to pieces.

His skeleton is actually made out of adamantium beta which is organic, so I don't see how anyone with our capabilites could get rid off him.

Well, the cement idea seems good (after you burn all the flesh off).

carver9
Some of the stuff that people are mentioning in this thread, Wolverine will not give you the chance to do and he sure as hell will not be standing there letting you do it. He is leagues faster than you and majority of the things that is brought up, he will smell it before entering th environment.

In easy terms, if Wolverine is coming after you, you might as well stand there and let him kill you because there is nothing you can do about it.

Uriel005
Don't sonic attacks work pretty well. So I'd get a dog whistle to throw him off his game after tossing large amounts of tranqs at him. After that get some quick setting concrete after chaining him up with his head sticking out. Pretty sure theres a whole list of villains who'd pay to see it.

Harbinger
Is Logan subject to asphyxiation?

carver9
Originally posted by the ninjak
I always thought that was bad art. DAMN!

O'K! Electrocute, Drug and Tranq Logan.

Shove long serrated drill bits through his eyeballs into his brain. Mince that brain up. And keep up the good work.

Start flaying the flesh of the bones starting with throat, brain heart ect.
Just melt the rest it will take awhile.

None of this is working unless Wolverine is a complete retard. You won't even get the chance to do any of this.

inimalist
tranqs seem like the worst type of drug to throw at wolverine though... they are the type of thing his healing factor will recover from really quickly... and something he has a lot of experience with.

you know what? I honestly think a dart full of x-lax would be more effective than tranqs...

Tha C-Master
I'd call jinzin and Dum Dum, their mad fighting skillz will help! And their knowledge of his weaknesses. shifty

carver9
Originally posted by Tha C-Master
I'd call jinzin and Dum Dum, their mad fighting skillz will help! And their knowledge of his weaknesses. shifty

Naah, putting on a Spiderman costume would be more effective. stick out tongue

Bentley
Can Wolverine swim? Maybe dropping him in the middle of the sea at submarine dept could work.

carver9
Originally posted by Bentley
Can Wolverine swim? Maybe dropping him in the middle of the sea at submarine dept could work.

How are you going to get ahold of him to drop him in the middle of the sea?

inimalist
Originally posted by Bentley
Can Wolverine swim? Maybe dropping him in the middle of the sea at submarine dept could work.

given we are in the real world, that metal skeleton might work against him in the water

StiltmanFTW
Originally posted by Tha C-Master
I'd call jinzin and Dum Dum, their mad fighting skillz will help! And their knowledge of his weaknesses. shifty

Can't help but see them switching sides immediately after arriving on the battlefield.

Originally posted by carver9
Naah, putting on a Spiderman costume would be more effective. stick out tongue

More effective as in quicker death by Logan's hands?

Originally posted by Bentley
Can Wolverine swim?

Are you serious?

Astner
Rip the comic?

Threaten the Marvel staff to make him weaker?

Send him to the phantom zone?

Elephant tranquilizer, triple dose (knock-out)?

StiltmanFTW
Originally posted by inimalist
given we are in the real world, that metal skeleton might work against him in the water

uhuh

MF DELPH
I'd slap the shit out of him, then take a last sip of my Cognac and walk away.

carver9
Originally posted by MF DELPH
I'd slap the shit out of him, then take a last sip of my Cognac and walk away.

laughing out loud laughing

Now that'll work. He would just stand there in shock.

Tha C-Master
Originally posted by carver9
Naah, putting on a Spiderman costume would be more effective. stick out tongue Yea, he'd be terrified.Originally posted by StiltmanFTW
Can't help but see them switching sides immediately after arriving on the battlefield.

They'd want to be the next Wolverine. evil face

StiltmanFTW
laughing out loud

Sin I AM
Originally posted by StiltmanFTW
He is screwed if you trap him underwater, but as soon as someone gets his body on land, his HF will bring him back.


thats y i suggested tying him up and dumping him in the ocean, no way he'd surivive THAT long....if that were the case he could effectively live in space

OneDumbG0
Fight Wolverine? Take a hostage and snipe him through the eye straight through to the brain. He's knocked out. Fight won.

carver9
Originally posted by Sin I AM
thats y i suggested tying him up and dumpig him in the ocean, no way he'd surivive THAT long....if that were the case he could effectively live in space

Good point now answer this, how do you plan on tying him up? Do you have paralyzing powers? You do know that he will be fighting back in this fight right?

inimalist
Originally posted by carver9
Good point now answer this, how do you plan on tying him up? Do you have paralyzing powers? You do know that he will be fighting back in this fight right?

what type of resistance to anesthetic does Wolv have?

Sin I AM
id tranq him duh


http://www.funz.eu/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Think-Outside-The-Box.jpg

carver9
Originally posted by inimalist
what type of resistance to anesthetic does Wolv have?

Does drugs even work on him unless its at a very high rate and basically, you would have to get the drop on him first and honestly, do you even think that plausable, even with prep?

You'll have to be a trained assassin to get any of that in and inimalist, as cool as you are, lol, I don't picture you as a expert combatant. No normal person (key word, normal) is getting the drop on Wolvy, even with prep.

carver9
Originally posted by Sin I AM
id tranq him duh


http://www.funz.eu/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Think-Outside-The-Box.jpg


Uuuummm... Deadpool shot him with enough tranqs to drop a T-rex and he was still talking right after this.

Are you balling like that 'that' you'll be able to buy that much tranqs and how good is your shooting skills? Are you Deadpool good or will he slice your shots out of the air along with dodging them?

Naah, you are getting blitzed.

inimalist
Originally posted by carver9
Does drugs even work on him unless its at a very high rate and basically, you would have to get the drop on him first and honestly, do you even think that plausable, even with prep?

You'll have to be a trained assassin to get any of that in and inimalist, as cool as you are, lol, I don't picture you as a expert combatant. No normal (key word, normal) is getting the drop on Wolvy, even with prep.

in the real world, there is no way Wolverine could avoid bullets

real world physics and all

"drugs" are a very wide category... tranq resistance would do nothing for, say, opiate resistance, or psychedelic resistance, etc. In fact, with things like insulin, his HF would actually work against him being able to deal with it.

Mix a strong poison (tax his HF), with an anesthetic, a psychadellic and insulin, and at the very least, he isn't performing at peak any more.

Sin I AM
Originally posted by carver9
Uuuummm... Deadpool shot him with enough tranqs to drop a T-rex and he was still talking right after this.

Are you balling like that 'that' you'll be able to buy that much tranqs and how good is your shooting skills? Are you Deadpool good or will he slice your shots out of the air along with dodging them?

Naah, you are getting blitzed.


im an expert marksman, not comic book level of course but im good enough to kill someone. and all id need is a sniper rifle, which i already have access to....the only thing id have to pay for is sedative ingredients and i could probably jus google that hun

carver9
Originally posted by inimalist
in the real world, there is no way Wolverine could avoid bullets

real world physics and all

"drugs" are a very wide category... tranq resistance would do nothing for, say, opiate resistance, or psychedelic resistance, etc. In fact, with things like insulin, his HF would actually work against him being able to deal with it.

Mix a strong poison (tax his HF), with an anesthetic, a psychadellic and insulin, and at the very least, he isn't performing at peak any more.


So we are decreasing his stats and what he has been shown capable of doing in comics?

inimalist
for an example of why Wolverine couldn't dodge bullets:

jHtHE_ukpug

watch the close-up cam, after the shots are fired. Even from a short distance, you see the bullet pierce the target well before the sound of the shot reaches the close up cam. In the real world, Wolverine can't dodge bullets.

inimalist
Originally posted by carver9
So we are decreasing his stats and what he has been shown capable of doing in comics?

well, no, but I would assume that given the setting is the real world, Wolverine is subject to real world physics.

if we go by comic physics, fine, I use my galactic level TK to hold him down while I mindrape him for hours. Frankly, comic-inimalist vs Wolverine is HELLA spite

SamZED
Originally posted by StiltmanFTW
I would free the gorillas from the zoo. He's strong, but not gorilla-strong.
Oh snap!


laughing out loud

But seriously, in Russia if you pay enough money they send you to space. That's what I'd do if they make me fight him.

OneDumbG0
Originally posted by inimalist
well, no, but I would assume that given the setting is the real world, Wolverine is subject to real world physics. I don't think we strip Wolverine of his feats. And people can still aim-dodge in real life anyway.

Tha C-Master
Originally posted by inimalist
for an example of why Wolverine couldn't dodge bullets:

jHtHE_ukpug

watch the close-up cam, after the shots are fired. Even from a short distance, you see the bullet pierce the target well before the sound of the shot reaches the close up cam. In the real world, Wolverine can't dodge bullets. Exactly, streets can aim dodge but they can't dodge the bullet, especially not a sniper, they are faster than sound.

Trackz
supermagnet?...what would happen to wolverine if you gave him an MRI?

Parmaniac
Originally posted by Trackz
supermagnet?...what would happen to wolverine if you gave him an MRI? I was thinking of something like that too.

Grinning Goku
Giant electromagnet.

psycho gundam
Originally posted by Sin I AM
im pretty sure he could be hung too i see the wolverine effect works on RL women too

inimalist
Originally posted by OneDumbG0
I don't think we strip Wolverine of his feats. And people can still aim-dodge in real life anyway.

I'm not saying strip him of feats. I'm saying gun and physics in general would work as they do in the real world, not as they do in the comics.

else, it isn't real world inimalist vs wolverine, but comic inimalist, and I am then subject to comic world logic and physics, meaning, I can invent whatever I want.

"aim dodge" is, well, sure, possible... I suppose... but even then, why would I give wolverine the chance? unless you are saying he has a literal form of precog, I can snipe at him before he ever realizes he is being targeted. God, especially with prep...

Originally posted by Trackz
supermagnet?...what would happen to wolverine if you gave him an MRI?

you would break the machine

Sin I AM
Originally posted by psycho gundam
i see the wolverine effect works on RL women too


oh........... i see what u did there


http://webservice.imagesauce.net/image/58092/400x.jpg

psycho gundam
is that kd lang?

OneDumbG0
Originally posted by inimalist
I'm not saying strip him of feats. I'm saying gun and physics in general would work as they do in the real world, not as they do in the comics.

else, it isn't real world inimalist vs wolverine, but comic inimalist, and I am then subject to comic world logic and physics, meaning, I can invent whatever I want.

"aim dodge" is, well, sure, possible... I suppose... but even then, why would I give wolverine the chance? unless you are saying he has a literal form of precog, I can snipe at him before he ever realizes he is being targeted. God, especially with prep... He'd probably smell/hear you. You can't give him opportunities to get out of your line of fire because it's hard enough to hit a moving target as it is.

Best way to take him out is use a hostage and just shoot him in the eye through to the brain.

Grinning Goku
Originally posted by OneDumbG0
Best way to take him out is use a hostage and just shoot him in the eye through to the brain.

That's not anatomically possible.

OneDumbG0
^ Yes it is. Let's not pretend it's not been a successful, tried and true method every time we've seen it utilized.

JakeTheBank
I'd become Thor for real and destroy him.

inimalist
Originally posted by OneDumbG0
He'd probably smell/hear you. You can't give him opportunities to get out of your line of fire because it's hard enough to hit a moving target as it is.

he has no idea what I smell like and I would certainly not choose a location where sounds I made (over 800m away) would carry to him...

my assumption from the OP is that I have the ability to set how the fight starts through prep

Originally posted by OneDumbG0
Best way to take him out is use a hostage and just shoot him in the eye through to the brain.

... there is a bone in the back of the eye

Originally posted by OneDumbG0
^ Yes it is. Let's not pretend it's not been a successful, tried and true method every time we've seen it utilized.

... seriously? WTF is wrong with writers?

OneDumbG0
Originally posted by inimalist
he has no idea what I smell like and I would certainly not choose a location where sounds I made (over 800m away) would carry to him...

my assumption from the OP is that I have the ability to set how the fight starts through prepSo you're going to train yourself to hit a moving target from 800m away, downwind?

If you can do anything, get a nuke then. I've treated this scenario as what's the easiest way to take down Wolverine considering you're you. Originally posted by inimalist
... there is a bone in the back of the eye

... seriously? WTF is wrong with writers? No. There isn't. It's worked every time. It continues to work every time.

Who cares, it's what happens in comics. Nobody here knew there was bone behind the eye until Wolverine fans decided to hit the anatomy books in an attempt to manufacture some excuse that just doesn't apply in comics.

rotiart
I'd implement magnets... Really big magnets...

Badabing
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=352428&highlight=title%3A%28you+vs+wolverine%29

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