sneezing And yawning

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eninn
The doctors at the present time they say: yawn evidence of the brain and body need oxygen and food, and to shorten the respiratory system needs to provide the brain and the body of oxygen, and this is what happens when the drowsiness and fainting, and prior to death. And yawning: the breathing deep place through the mouth, and not the oral route of natural inspiration for it is not equipped with a device to filter the air as it is in the nose, if left mouth open during the yawning leak with air inhalation into the body of various types of germs, dust, and aerosols, and pesticides , so was the Holy Prophet's guidance is cold yawning as much as possible, or filling the mouth with the palm or back of the left-right.

And sneezing is the opposite of yawning, is a strong and sudden come out with the air force from the lungs out of my way the nose and mouth, Wegerv with him in the way of dust and aerosols, and pesticides and bacteria that seeped into the respiratory system so it was natural to be sneezing from the Almighty because it is benefit to the body, and be yawning from the devil because it is harmful for the body, and the right one should praise Allah the Almighty for the sneezing, and to seek refuge with Him from the accursed Satan in the case of yawning

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqS_lRsWMGE


Abu Hurayrah may Allah be pleased with him that the Prophet peace be upon him said: "Allah likes sneezing and dislikes yawning, so if he sneezes glorified Allah's right on every Muslim who hears him to gloating sneezes (Eshmth), and while he is a yawn of the devil have mercy could, if he said: Ha, laughed the devil of it.

Ibn Hajar said, Allah's mercy: His rhetoric: the meaning of love and dislike to the expense caused by the two, and that sneezing is the body of lightness and openness of the pores and do not end in satiety, and is other than the yawning, it is full of bug and body weight of what is caused by eating too much and the confusion, and the first calls the activity of worship and the second reversed

The Prophet peace be upon him how gloating sneezes in the Hadith narrated by Abu Huraira may Allah be pleased with him that the Prophet peace be upon him said: "If one of you sneezes, let him say, thank God, and to less than his brother or his friend: God bless you, and if said to him, God bless you, let him say: Allah guide you and set your affairs straight. "

Lord Lucien
jGIbUK4nw00

eninn
yawning

Allah dislikes yawning

Because of laziness and lethargy transmitted to people quickly
Unlike activity
Needs to make an effort

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=P7XPGZWqtoQ

Omega Vision
Allah sounds like a persnickety dick.

lil bitchiness
I love that Hadith. It's one of the funny ones in Sunniism.

Allah dislikes yawning - I make sure I yawn extra hard and more often.
Allah has a lot of sand in his vagina. The entire rub 'alkhali is in Allah's vagina.

Lord Lucien
Originally posted by eninn
yawning

Allah dislikes yawning

Because of laziness and lethargy transmitted to people quickly
Unlike activity
Needs to make an effort

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=P7XPGZWqtoQ Allah sounds like a retard.

eninn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwkj6V2hjBk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXyL7qAO-9U

eninn
we sneeze because Allaah has decreed so for our benefit. Sneezing is one of the natural sensations Allaah has granted us to get rid of the harmful secretions, or to clear the air passage (respiratory cavity) as physicians confirm. Regarding the Prophetic guidance on sneezing,

If a non-Muslim sneezes, it is permissible for a Muslim to tell him: "May Allaah guide you and rectify your affairs." The evidence about this is that Imaam At-Tirmithi may Allaah have mercy upon him reported that the Jews used to sneeze in front of the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )

expecting him to tell them: "May Allaah have mercy on you", but the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) used to tell them: "May Allaah guide you and rectify your affairs." However, if you are the one who sneezes and says 'Al-Hamdu Lillaah' and then a non-Muslim tells you: "May Allaah have mercy on you", then we do not see any harm to respond to him saying: "May Allaah guide you and rectify your affairs." In reality, you are supplicating to Allaah to guide him, and it is permissible to supplicate to Allaah to

guide non-Muslims. It is confirmed that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) supplicated for the tribe of Daws saying: "O Allaah! Guide the tribe of Daws." He also supplicated for the tribe of Thaqeef as he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "O Allaah! Guide the tribe of Thaqeef." , and these two tribes were not Muslims at that time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EmsvqBdNmg

eninn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuidSRBUnkk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKtQN1ZYplY

Robtard
Originally posted by eninn
Allah likes sneezing and dislikes yawning

How does Allah feel about burping and farting?

Robtard
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
I love that Hadith. It's one of the funny ones in Sunniism.

Allah dislikes yawning - I make sure I yawn extra hard and more often.
Allah has a lot of sand in his vagina. The entire rub 'alkhali is in Allah's vagina.

I'd like to do something to you extra hard and more often. I can or can not involve your vagina.

Lord Lucien
Vagina are so 2012. This year it's all about f*cking the belly button.

Robtard
Originally posted by Robtard
How does Allah feel about burping and farting?

Sorry about the previous derail, Eninn. But I'd like to know the answer to the above query.

Omega Vision
I also have a question for Eninn: could Allah microwave a burrito so hot that even he couldn't eat it?

eninn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQYeHHYv63k

burping

Hadith By Tirmidhi, Ibn majah :

"one man was sitting with Prophet SAW and kept burping and burping, the Prophet SAW said "keep your burping away from us ,the ones who fill their stomachs the most in this duniya will suffer the most from hunger on the day of judgemnt"

but the Prophet stated it quite clear in that hadith. It's the gluttonous eating that's the problem. If you have a problem and it causes you to burp, I doubt Allah will punish you for something you can't control!
We all know that Allah's anger is on the person with a full stomach. And Prophet Muhammad said "Fill one third of your stomach with food, one-third with water, and one-third with air."

And if you look at the Prophet's life, sometimes he went days at a time without food because he was so poor.

So the lesson is, don't fill up your stomach when you eat. It's hard after we got so used to it but I'm sure if we try hard enough in the sake of Allah, we can lower our food/drink intake. We have brothers and sisters all over the world starving to death...so we are no better than they are.

Lord Lucien
Originally posted by eninn
I doubt Allah will punish you for something you can't control! We can't control yawning either, you dolt.

Omega Vision
Originally posted by Lord Lucien
We can't control yawning either, you dolt.
Well yawning is contagious...so clearly people should be required to wear something that would mask their yawns...

...some kind of veil is in order.

Robtard
Originally posted by eninn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQYeHHYv63k

burping

Hadith By Tirmidhi, Ibn majah :

"one man was sitting with Prophet SAW and kept burping and burping, the Prophet SAW said "keep your burping away from us ,the ones who fill their stomachs the most in this duniya will suffer the most from hunger on the day of judgemnt"

but the Prophet stated it quite clear in that hadith. It's the gluttonous eating that's the problem. If you have a problem and it causes you to burp, I doubt Allah will punish you for something you can't control!
We all know that Allah's anger is on the person with a full stomach. And Prophet Muhammad said "Fill one third of your stomach with food, one-third with water, and one-third with air."

And if you look at the Prophet's life, sometimes he went days at a time without food because he was so poor.

So the lesson is, don't fill up your stomach when you eat. It's hard after we got so used to it but I'm sure if we try hard enough in the sake of Allah, we can lower our food/drink intake. We have brothers and sisters all over the world starving to death...so we are no better than they are.

Most insightful.

And Allah's thoughts on farting?

eninn
farting ,,,,,



31. O Children of Adam! Take your adornment (by wearing your clean clothes), while praying and going round (the Tawaf of ) the Ka'bah, and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allah) likes not Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance).

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and his Household and grant them peace) has said, "If any of you feels something in his stomach such that it is unclear to him, whether something has come out or not, then he should certainly not leave the mosque, unless he hears a sound or smells an odour."


And in another hadith we find:
"Satan may come to one of you in salah and blow air in his bottom, making him imagine that he has lost his wudu. So, when one experiences that, he should not turn away unless he hears a sound or smells an odour."

- IF YOU ARE SURE that you have passed wind, your wudu'' is invalidated, whether there is a smell or sound, or neither. If this happens while you are still performing wudu'', then you need to re-start the wudu''
(over again). If it happens during salah, you need to break off the salah and go and repeat your wudu.

that if you cannot keep Wudu due to flatulence which causes you such hardship and great suffering, then you have an excuse not to make Wudu repeatedly. You need only to make a new and separate Wudu for each prayer when the time comes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMVknISzTg0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l1oVMJTcZ4

Archaeopteryx
Sounds like Allah has Alzheimers

Lord Lucien
Sounds like Allah has too much time on his hands. Maybe he should get of his ass and create world peace instead of blowing hot air about flatulence.


hur hur

Omega Vision
The consensus appears to be that Allah is a doddering punk.

maham
Originally posted by eninn
The doctors at the present time they say: yawn evidence of the brain and body need oxygen and food, and to shorten the respiratory system needs to provide the brain and the body of oxygen, and this is what happens when the drowsiness and fainting, and prior to death. And yawning: the breathing deep place through the mouth, and not the oral route of natural inspiration for it is not equipped with a device to filter the air as it is in the nose, if left mouth open during the yawning leak with air inhalation into the body of various types of germs, dust, and aerosols, and pesticides , so was the Holy Prophet's guidance is cold yawning as much as possible, or filling the mouth with the palm or back of the left-right.

And sneezing is the opposite of yawning, is a strong and sudden come out with the air force from the lungs out of my way the nose and mouth, Wegerv with him in the way of dust and aerosols, and pesticides and bacteria that seeped into the respiratory system so it was natural to be sneezing from the Almighty because it is benefit to the body, and be yawning from the devil because it is harmful for the body, and the right one should praise Allah the Almighty for the sneezing, and to seek refuge with Him from the accursed Satan in the case of yawning

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqS_lRsWMGE


Abu Hurayrah may Allah be pleased with him that the Prophet peace be upon him said: "Allah likes sneezing and dislikes yawning, so if he sneezes glorified Allah's right on every Muslim who hears him to gloating sneezes (Eshmth), and while he is a yawn of the devil have mercy could, if he said: Ha, laughed the devil of it.

Ibn Hajar said, Allah's mercy: His rhetoric: the meaning of love and dislike to the expense caused by the two, and that sneezing is the body of lightness and openness of the pores and do not end in satiety, and is other than the yawning, it is full of bug and body weight of what is caused by eating too much and the confusion, and the first calls the activity of worship and the second reversed

The Prophet peace be upon him how gloating sneezes in the Hadith narrated by Abu Huraira may Allah be pleased with him that the Prophet peace be upon him said: "If one of you sneezes, let him say, thank God, and to less than his brother or his friend: God bless you, and if said to him, God bless you, let him say: Allah guide you and set your affairs straight. "

No need to bother about these blasphemous retards bud. Good job! thumb up

eninn
maham

thank you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewVZ6eMIhP0

Omega Vision
Originally posted by maham
No need to bother about these blasphemous retards bud. Good job! thumb up
It would only be blasphemous if He were real.

Lord Lucien
Originally posted by Omega Vision
It would only be blasphemous if He were real. http://fc03.deviantart.net/images/i/2003/8/4/1/Say_Whut_Ghandi.jpg

eninn

lil bitchiness
Originally posted by maham
No need to bother about these blasphemous retards bud. Good job! thumb up

Right, you call us retards whereas you're the one that believes that a 7th century desert pirate flew into heaven on a flying donkey to go speak with Allah...then came back to tell everyone about it.

Fantastic.

Lord Lucien
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Right, you call us retards whereas you're the one that believes that a 7th century desert pirate flew into heaven on a flying donkey to go speak with Allah...then came back to tell everyone about it.

Fantastic. Actually it sounds pretty badass when you put it like that.

Shakyamunison

Robtard
Shaky, you're back old friend.

Deja~vu
Originally posted by eninn
yawning

Allah dislikes yawning


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=P7XPGZWqtoQ

Hahahahaha. laughing out loud

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Robtard
Shaky, you're back old friend.

I've been busy writting a graphic novel. ...back to the drawing board!

Lord Lucien
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
I've been busy writting a graphic novel. ...back to the drawing board! Does it have nudity in it?

eninn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSROIe5nESQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqS_lRsWMGE

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Lucien
Does it have nudity in it?

No. PG 13

Lord Lucien
Aww sad

eninn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNGTYzWe1KA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22tFGT1lnMY

Shakyamunison
eninn
Everyone knows you are not a Muslim. So stop it!

Bardock42
Originally posted by Lord Lucien
Sounds like Allah has too much time on his hands

Since he allegedly created time he can probably have as much or as little as he wants of it.

Robtard
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
No. PG 13

It's not very graphic then, now is it!

Bardock42
It's PornoGraphic 13!!!!

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Robtard
It's not very graphic then, now is it!

What happed to this place?

Lord Lucien
We found Jesus.

Shakyamunison
Originally posted by Lord Lucien
We found Jesus.

lol

Robtard
Originally posted by Lord Lucien
We found Jesus.

Twice.

Lord Lucien
He sucks at hide-and-seek.

rudester
I saw this video on this guy who dresses up like jesus and walks on water to fetch a little kids ball.. its too funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVugsBipaMA

eninn

Omega Vision
I can't believe the Quran is so preoccupied with such inanity.

Lord Lucien
I can't believe he still thinks any of us care.

Robtard
I can't believe it's not butter?

Lord Lucien
But-but it is...

Robtard
Originally posted by eninn
What did the prophet say about spitting?


And what does the prophet say about scratching one's ball-bag? Certainly that has to happen a lot, especially in a desert environment.

Lord Lucien
What does the prophet have to say about shaking after you pee? What did the prophet decree on behalf of Allah is the appropriate amount of shakes to alleviate oneself of all urinary residue? Is three shakes in compliance with Allah's toiletry hygiene, but four shakes a damnable sin punishable by fire scorpions?



We must know!

Omega Vision
I want to know how he feels about picking belly button lint, and the proper method of dipping an oreo in milk, and if the Quran tells how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, or if indeed the center of the tootsie pop is forbidden because it whets sexual appetite.

rudester
Originally posted by Robtard
I can't believe it's not butter?

I can't believe DJ didn't let her sister stefany use her favorite shirt to go to the dance which would have won her points.

eninn
Abu Qatada (may Allah be pleased with him) reported it from his father that, 'The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said that, 'None of you should hold the private parts with the right hand while urinating, or wipe with the right hand in the privy.'
Do not use the right hand for cleansing (Istinja) as it goes against the Sunnah unless you have a problem with your right hand. We use the right hand for eating, drinking, shaking hands, reading the Qur'an etc. we should use the other hand for cleaning, holding shoes, cleaning the nose etc.


'Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrates that, 'The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) went to answer the call of nature, 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) bought some water. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, 'What is this'' He replied, 'Water for cleansing (Istinja).' The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, 'It has not been made necessary (Wajib) upon me after urinating to cleanse myself with water.''

Many are ignorant of the fact that if you cleanse yourself with tissue paper when you don't have access to water then you are unclean (napaak) and in need of a bath , this is incorrect and an excuse from Shaytan to miss Salaah. Some people when traveling miss their Salaah which is obligatory (Fardh) due to their ignorance. We go out of our way to make preparations and make sure we are financially secure; however, when we have to go on a journey, many do not prepare their journey for Salaah, i.e. a prayer mat, a container for cleansing (Istinja) etc. We should make sure we make preparations for Salaah before making any other preparations.

If impurity gets on your clothes or body and is more in size than a Dirham , then to clean it is compulsory, without cleaning it your Salaah will not count. If the impurity on your clothes or body is the same size as a Dirham, then to clean it is necessary (Wajib) and therefore if Salaah is prayed, you must repeat it as the Salaah is Makrooh-e-Tehrimi and to pray it again is Wajib. If the impurity is less in size than a Dirham, then to clean it is Sunnah and if Salaah is prayed, it will count but is against the Sunnah and to repeat it is better.
No-one should make excuses that I did not clean (Istinja) with water so I need a bath or that I am unclean. Take appropriate cleaning material to the toilet. If you feel uncomfortable if at a service station or at work then at least wet some tissue and cleanse yourself with that other wise by cleansings without water and making sure the impurity is cleaned there is no problem, do not be ashamed of your religion as this is complete and perfect. Most importantly the Salaah should not be missed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbSo9FEb1O0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2OTOja3AHA

Robtard
So it's okay to scratch your boy-bag, pick your nose and dig into your anus, just as long as it's done with the left hand.

Isn't that prejudice against people who are left-handed though?

Oliver North
Originally posted by Robtard
And what does the prophet say about scratching one's ball-bag? Certainly that has to happen a lot, especially in a desert environment.

you have to do it with the left hand









































































I'm not kidding

EDIT: or exactly the same joke you just made... /sigh...

eninn
Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him

Talked about all religious and worldly matters

Because Islam
Constitution and approach to life

In eating and sleeping and praying, bathing and transactions between people and so on

Religion is not just a ritual only

Pray and then go out to lie and drinking alcohol and lack of hygiene and adultery

Like other religions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEN1vuCrJHw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMVknISzTg0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBwhN0JBoHc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjIe0RxXmAs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se3f8W2XLjc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFehB-Rp8sY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJMG-oZoOzI

Shakyamunison
eninn, you really need a beer!

Lord Lucien
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
eninn, you really need a beer! Allah says no...

Omega Vision
Again I say that Muslims could get wasted on mead and Allah wouldn't give a shit, because I'm pretty sure Allah only forbids alcohol coming from fruit or grain, not from honey.

Lord Lucien
That's true. Winnie the Pooh was a devout Muslim.

eninn
1. Prohibition of alcohol in the Qur'an The Glorious Qur'an prohibits the consumption of alcohol in the following verse:
"
O ye who believe! Intoxicants and Gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an Abomination - of Satan's handiwork;

eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper. "


2. Prohibition of alcohol in the Bible The Bible prohibits the consumption of alcohol in the following verses:

a. "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging; and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise." b. "And be not drunk with

wine. "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIa-WBR1fYk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7rzIpYxX1s


All the rules in Islam

Imposed or prohibited
The foundation
Protection
Human


Allah says in the Holy Qur'an

157. Those who follow the Messenger, the Prophet who can neither read nor write (ieMuhammad) whom they find written with them in the Taurat (Torah) (Deut, xviii, 15) and the Injeel (Gospel) (John xiv, 16), - he commands them for Al-Ma'ruf (ie Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained); and forbids them from Al-Munkar (ie disbelief, polytheism of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); he allows them as lawful At-Taiyibat , and prohibits them as unlawful Al-Khaba'ith (ie all evil and unlawful as regards things, deeds, beliefs, persons, foods, etc.), he releases them from their heavy burdens (of Allah's Covenant), and from the fetters (bindings) that were upon them. So those who believe in him (Muhammad), honour him, help him, and follow the light (the Qur'an) which has been sent down with him, it is they who will be successful.
Surah Al-A'raf

Robtard
eninn,

While I understand one must clean ones anus with his/her left hand, does the Qur'an specify if one should use a back-to-front or front-to-back method of wiping, or possibly something else like a side-to-side or swirling technique?

eninn
yes

So the Qur'an and Sunnah are inseparable

Qur'an total explanation and detail in the Sunnah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPNdXRXsIvg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l1oVMJTcZ4

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.